Episode Transcript: The Sponge Who Could Fly

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{{Transcript|The Sponge Who Could Fly|Plankton's Army|SpongeBob Meets the Strangler}}
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Plankton's Army|Plankton's Army]]
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Episode Article: [[The Sponge Who Could Fly (Episode)|The Sponge Who Could Fly]]
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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
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'''Patchy''': But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about old SpongeBob. (shuts the curtain and cries loudly. Fade to a screen reading "Remembering SpongeBob")
 
'''Patchy''': But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about old SpongeBob. (shuts the curtain and cries loudly. Fade to a screen reading "Remembering SpongeBob")
  
'''French Narrator''': ''Remembering SpongeBob.'' (curtain in the background opens. SpongeBob walks into the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, from "[[As Seen on TV (Episode)|As Seen on TV]]", brings it around town, from "[[Bubblestand (Episode)|Bubblestand]]", puts a ketchup pawprint on a Krabby Patty then puts it down on a bun, from "[[The Chaperone (Episode)|The Chaperone]]", struggles with his long legs, also from "The Chaperone", separates into two pieces then joins back together, from "[[Pizza Delivery (Episode)|Pizza Delivery]]", stands motionless in awe, also from "As Seen on TV", struggles lifting up a bar with two teddy bears attached, from "[[Help Wanted (Episode)|Help Wanted]]", skips outside tossing hearts in the air, from "[[Valentine's Day (Episode)|Valentine's Day]]", goes for a blue jellyfish but winds up catching himself in his net, from "[[Tea at the Treedome (Episode)|Tea at the Treedome]]", surfs backwards with his pants ripped then wipes out, from "[[Ripped Pants (Episode)|Ripped Pants]]", dodges a karate chop from Sandy, from "[[Karate Choppers (Episode)|Karate Choppers]]", smokes a bubble pipe, from "[[Grandma's Kisses (Episode)|Grandma's Kisses]]", sheds a layer of his skin, from "[[F.U.N. (Episode)|F.U.N.]]", floats around a boat completely inflated, also from "Pizza Delivery", sends a message in a bubble, from "[[Naughty Nautical Neighbors (Episode)|Naughty Nautical Neighbors]]", a muscular version of him chases a jellyfish, from "[[MuscleBob BuffPants (Episode)|MuscleBob BuffPants]]", he lies in bed next to Squidward, from "[[Home Sweet Pineapple (Episode)|Home Sweet Pineapple]]", scrubs the inside of his head, also from "The Chaperone", clenches onto Mrs. Puff, from "[[Boating School (Episode)|Boating School]]", rocks out, from "[[Band Geeks (Episode)|Band Geeks]]", plucks his eyebrows, yet again from "The Chaperone", sucks on a table, from "[[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (Episode)|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy]]", shrinks on the Krusty Krab grill, from "[[Nature Pants (Episode)|Nature Pants]]", does a karate dance, also from "Karate Choppers", blows the sand of Squidward, from "[[Reef Blower (Episode)|Reef Blower]]", wiggles around, also from "F.U.N.", and lastly, gets shut out by Squidward, from "[[The Paper (Episode)|The Paper]]". An audience applauds. Cut to Patchy, who is sitting on the couch)
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'''French Narrator''': ''Remembering SpongeBob.'' (curtain in the background opens. SpongeBob walks into the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, from [[As Seen on TV (Episode)|As Seen on TV]], brings it around town, from [[Bubblestand (Episode)|Bubblestand]], puts a ketchup pawprint on a Krabby Patty then puts it down on a bun, from [[The Chaperone (Episode)|The Chaperone]], struggles with his long legs, also from "The Chaperone", separates into two pieces then joins back together, from [[Pizza Delivery (Episode)|Pizza Delivery]], stands motionless in awe, also from "As Seen on TV", struggles lifting up a bar with two teddy bears attached, from [[Help Wanted (Episode)|Help Wanted]], skips outside tossing hearts in the air, from [[Valentine's Day (Episode)|Valentine's Day]], goes for a blue jellyfish but winds up catching himself in his net, from [[Tea at the Treedome (Episode)|Tea at the Treedome]], surfs backwards with his pants ripped then wipes out, from [[Ripped Pants (Episode)|Ripped Pants]], dodges a karate chop from Sandy, from [[Karate Choppers (Episode)|Karate Choppers]], smokes a bubble pipe, from [[Grandma's Kisses (Episode)|Grandma's Kisses]], sheds a layer of his skin, from [[F.U.N. (Episode)|F.U.N.]], floats around a boat completely inflated, also from "Pizza Delivery", sends a message in a bubble, from [[Naughty Nautical Neighbors (Episode)|Naughty Nautical Neighbors]], a muscular version of him chases a jellyfish, from [[MuscleBob BuffPants (Episode)|MuscleBob BuffPants]], he lies in bed next to Squidward, from [[Home Sweet Pineapple (Episode)|Home Sweet Pineapple]], scrubs the inside of his head, also from "The Chaperone", clenches onto Mrs. Puff, from [[Boating School (Episode)|Boating School]], rocks out, from [[Band Geeks (Episode)|Band Geeks]], plucks his eyebrows, yet again from "The Chaperone", sucks on a table, from [[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (Episode)|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy]], shrinks on the Krusty Krab grill, from [[Nature Pants (Episode)|Nature Pants]], does a karate dance, also from "Karate Choppers", blows the sand off of Squidward, from [[Reef Blower (Episode)|Reef Blower]], wiggles around, also from "F.U.N.", and lastly, gets shut out by Squidward, from [[The Paper (Episode)|The Paper]]. An audience applauds. Cut to Patchy, who is sitting on the couch)
  
 
'''Patchy''': I don't believe I lost the lost episode. (screws in his peg leg) I never lose anything.
 
'''Patchy''': I don't believe I lost the lost episode. (screws in his peg leg) I never lose anything.
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'''Potty''': What is it? Brawk!
 
'''Potty''': What is it? Brawk!
  
'''Patchy''': Hey... it's a map! It's a map to the lost episode of SpongeBob I lost!
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'''Patchy''': Hey... it's a map! It's a map to the lost episode of ''SpongeBob'' I lost!
  
 
'''Potty''': It's a dream come true!
 
'''Potty''': It's a dream come true!
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'''Potty''': What a rip!
 
'''Potty''': What a rip!
  
'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... (his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears) SpongeBob betrayed us?! (runs over to a wall of framed SpongeBob pictures. Begins tearing them off the wall) I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place! (enters his SpongeBob-merchandise-filled bedroom and starts throwing things everywhere) I'm gonna get rid of all my SpongeBob stuff! All of it! All of it! (rips his SpongeBob boxers out of his pants) All of it! (runs to the door) I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! (runs out the door crying)
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'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... (his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears) SpongeBob betrayed us?! (runs over to a wall of framed SpongeBob pictures. Begins tearing them off the wall) I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place! (enters his SpongeBob-merchandise-filled bedroom and starts throwing things everywhere) I'm gonna get rid of all my ''SpongeBob'' stuff! All of it! All of it! (rips his SpongeBob boxers out of his pants) All of it! (runs to the door) I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! (runs out the door crying)
  
 
'''Potty''': Sheesh, what a hothead!
 
'''Potty''': Sheesh, what a hothead!
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'''Mrs. Johnson''': (outside, in a wheelchair) Don't mention it, Patchy! (flames shoot of the back of her wheelchair and she peels off, leaving a skid mark behind)  
 
'''Mrs. Johnson''': (outside, in a wheelchair) Don't mention it, Patchy! (flames shoot of the back of her wheelchair and she peels off, leaving a skid mark behind)  
  
'''Patchy''': Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind? (presses a button; a juggling clown appears on TV) No, that's not it. (presses another button. A weatherman appears on TV) D'oh! Wrong again. (keeps flipping through the channels and grunting. A black and white horse movie comes on, then a blob movie, then a football game, then the giraffe from [[Krusty Krab Training Video (Episode)|Krusty Krab Training Video]], then the anemone from [[Your Shoe's Untied (Episode)|Your Shoe's Untied]], then a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling a Triceratops. Potty flies over)
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'''Patchy''': Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind? (presses a button. A juggling clown appears on TV) No, that's not it. (presses another button. A weatherman appears on TV) D'oh! Wrong again. (keeps flipping through the channels and grunting. A black and white horse movie comes on, then a blob movie, then a football game, then the giraffe from [[Krusty Krab Training Video (Episode)|Krusty Krab Training Video]], then the anemone from [[Your Shoe's Untied (Episode)|Your Shoe's Untied]], then a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling a Triceratops. Potty flies over)
  
 
'''Potty''': Brawk! Let me do it!
 
'''Potty''': Brawk! Let me do it!
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'''Potty''': Brawk! That's the mariachi band button!
 
'''Potty''': Brawk! That's the mariachi band button!
  
'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... I hate technology! (a member of the mariachi band plays a trumper. Another member plays a guitar and a third member plays a bass guitar. Patchy continues pressing buttons on the remote) Rewind... darn you! (suddenly, the VCR starts spitting out tape)
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'''Patchy''': Grrrrr... I hate technology! (a member of the mariachi band plays a trumper. Another member plays a guitar and a third member plays a bass guitar. Continues pressing buttons on the remote) Rewind... darn you! (suddenly, the VCR starts spitting out tape)
  
 
'''Potty''': Brawk! Failure ahoy!
 
'''Potty''': Brawk! Failure ahoy!

Latest revision as of 03:09, 15 December 2024

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Plankton's Army
SpongeBob Meets the Strangler

Episode Article: The Sponge Who Could Fly

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(first scene opens up in front of Nickelodeon Studios, where a security guard is standing by the gate)

French Narrator: Last week, a never-before-seen episode of SpongeBob SquarePants was discovered under a desk at Nickelodeon Studios. (a large crowd of excited people is shown) Now all the world is waiting in fevered anticipation to watch... (the title appears on screen) ...the SpongeBob SquarePants Lost Episode! (an shot of the town of Encino appears) Now, to present the Lost Episode, from Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate! (inside his house, Patchy is inside the shower, humming. Potty flies up)

Potty: Patchy! Patchy! The kids are here. (flushes the toilet)

Patchy: WAH!!! (opens the curtain in panic) Hot! Hot! Hot! Potty, don't you know this is Patchy private time? (looks at the camera) Oh, hello! Dahh! (covers himself with the curtain) What are you all doing here?

Potty: They're here to see the lost episode. Brawk!

Patchy: But I haven't got the lost episode because I... well, I lost it! (starts to cry)

Children: (off-screen) No, Patchy! Please! Don't say that, Patchy! Please!

Patchy: But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about old SpongeBob. (shuts the curtain and cries loudly. Fade to a screen reading "Remembering SpongeBob")

French Narrator: Remembering SpongeBob. (curtain in the background opens. SpongeBob walks into the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, from As Seen on TV, brings it around town, from Bubblestand, puts a ketchup pawprint on a Krabby Patty then puts it down on a bun, from The Chaperone, struggles with his long legs, also from "The Chaperone", separates into two pieces then joins back together, from Pizza Delivery, stands motionless in awe, also from "As Seen on TV", struggles lifting up a bar with two teddy bears attached, from Help Wanted, skips outside tossing hearts in the air, from Valentine's Day, goes for a blue jellyfish but winds up catching himself in his net, from Tea at the Treedome, surfs backwards with his pants ripped then wipes out, from Ripped Pants, dodges a karate chop from Sandy, from Karate Choppers, smokes a bubble pipe, from Grandma's Kisses, sheds a layer of his skin, from F.U.N., floats around a boat completely inflated, also from "Pizza Delivery", sends a message in a bubble, from Naughty Nautical Neighbors, a muscular version of him chases a jellyfish, from MuscleBob BuffPants, he lies in bed next to Squidward, from Home Sweet Pineapple, scrubs the inside of his head, also from "The Chaperone", clenches onto Mrs. Puff, from Boating School, rocks out, from Band Geeks, plucks his eyebrows, yet again from "The Chaperone", sucks on a table, from Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, shrinks on the Krusty Krab grill, from Nature Pants, does a karate dance, also from "Karate Choppers", blows the sand off of Squidward, from Reef Blower, wiggles around, also from "F.U.N.", and lastly, gets shut out by Squidward, from The Paper. An audience applauds. Cut to Patchy, who is sitting on the couch)

Patchy: I don't believe I lost the lost episode. (screws in his peg leg) I never lose anything.

Potty: What about your leg?

Patchy: Well, yeah, but--

Potty: And your eye.

Patchy: Well, the eye, I--

Potty: And your hand.

Patchy: And the h... oh, get out of here, you blasted bird! (shoos Potty away) Hmm... if only I had a map to tell me where the lost episode is. (a screeching car sounds and a brick flies through the window and hits him. Mutters gibberish and then falls over)

Potty: What is it? Brawk!

Patchy: Hey... it's a map! It's a map to the lost episode of SpongeBob I lost!

Potty: It's a dream come true!

Patchy: (giggles) We gotta go find it, Potty! (shouts excitedly and runs over to the door; snaps) Oh, first I'll need me treasure hunting leg. (grabs a black boot out of a bin of umbrellas and screws it on his wooden leg while limping out the door; it now functions like a normal leg) Come on, Potty! Ah! Times a-wastin'! (runs down the steps, along with Potty)

Potty: Brawk!

Patchy: (an elderly woman sits on her porch, knitting) Ten paces past Mrs. Johnson's house. (walks past the woman's house)

Mrs. Johnson: Would you boys like some cookies?

Patchy: Put 'em in a doggie bag, Mrs. Johnson. Can't right now, we're on a treasure hunt. (continues walking)

Mrs. Johnson: Okay, don't catch a cold.

Patchy: Walk five fathoms past Don's Import Store and Delicatessen. (looks up at a store by that name; walks next to a tree) Half a league to the forked tree. (looks up at a tree with plastic forks growing on it) Oh! (stands somewhere else, looking at the map) Now all that's left is... Huh?! The seven trials of monkey lagoon?! (lowers the map and sees a playground full of children) Merciful Neptune. Only for SpongeBob. Only for SpongeBob!!! (runs into the playground; rides back and forth on a small green horse) AHHHHH!!! Whoa!!! (goes up and down on a see-saw) Whoa!!! Whoa! (slides down a slide with his hands up) YAHHHHH!!! (hits the ground) Ow! (gets spun around on a merry-go-round) AHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! (slowly climbs on the monkey bars while a little kid punches him in the back) Ahh... Ahh... Ah! (inside a giant climbing thing while a group of kids laugh at him) AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! (gets pushed on the swing by a little girl) AHHHHH!!! DAHHH!!! (the swing he was on returns with only a hook attached to it; the little girl stares at it, confused; cuts to Patchy digging in the sand) We made it! We survived the trials! Oh, I'm really gonna dig this lost episode! (laughs) Dig it, get it? (laughs some more)

Potty: (covered in sand) You stink!

Patchy: And I just got out of the shower. (laughs again. Sticks his shovel in the ground and hits something) Hey Potty, I think I hit something. (camera zooms out. A large treasure chest sits in the sand) Clever... bury your treasure above the surface.

Potty: Brawk!

Patchy: (opens the chest. A golden glow shines from it) This is it! (a man in a construction hat sits in the chest, holding a videocassette. Patchy takes it. The man cups his hands) I don't know what it means either. (slams the top of the chest on the man) But I got what I came for! Come on Potty, time's a-wastin'. (runs off, jumping around and shouting excitedly again. Runs into his house, still excited, and holds the tape up) Yeah! Popcorn. (slams a bag of popcorn down on the table) Soda. (puts a cup of soda on the table) Pickled garlic! (puts a jar of pickled garlic down on the table, next to the other things. Runs and sits down) Potty, hit the remote!

Potty: (drops an egg that hits the remote) Brawk! (the VCR turns on)

Patchy: (grabs the popcorn) This is gonna be great! (a countdown, starting at ten, appears on the screen) I can't believe it. More SpongeBob! (starts eating the popcorn. The countdown makes its way down to five) This so exciting! (laughs, shaking the popcorn, which flies everywhere. The countdown ends) Here it comes!

Potty: Brawk! Pipe down! ("Walk Cycles" begins on the TV screen. SpongeBob is walking down the road while techno music plays in the background. His body squishes up, then returns to normal. Then, his body extends and his arms flail around. He returns to normal, then squishes up three times, shrinking smaller and smaller, in synchronization with the music. He extends his body again. Then, once again, he squishes up smaller and smaller in synchronization with the music. He extends his body again. He starts running frantically while sweating and looking left to right. He extends his body, this time with his tongue sticking out and flailing around. Then, he begins frantically running again. His limbs and body separate and his eyes pop out of his head. He begins walking normally again. "Walk Cycles" ends. A test card is shown while a 1050 Hz tone comes from the TV. Patchy stares blankly for a moment)

Patchy: That's it? That's the lost episode? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!

Potty: What a rip!

Patchy: Grrrrr... (his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears) SpongeBob betrayed us?! (runs over to a wall of framed SpongeBob pictures. Begins tearing them off the wall) I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place! (enters his SpongeBob-merchandise-filled bedroom and starts throwing things everywhere) I'm gonna get rid of all my SpongeBob stuff! All of it! All of it! (rips his SpongeBob boxers out of his pants) All of it! (runs to the door) I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! (runs out the door crying)

Potty: Sheesh, what a hothead!

Announcer: (on TV, another countdown has started at twenty-three seconds with the words "SpongeBob SquarePants Episode 118 The Real Lost Episode") And now, the real lost episode!

Potty: Brawk! Patchy, come back! There's more!

Patchy: (opens the door) Really? (shuts the door, then reenters again, quickly reversing what he did earlier. Sits back down) Hooray! Let's watch!

(title card and opening credits play. The episode proper begins in the Jellying Fields)

French Narrator: Here we see the proud jellyfish hunter. (SpongeBob stands completely still at the top of a hill, holding his net) He stands motionless to lure the jellyfish into a false sense of security. (a jellyfish swims right by him) And when his prey ventures to close, he springs into action.

SpongeBob: (puts on his safety glasses, turns into a spring and bounces after the jellyfish. Stops in midair and looks down) Huh? (stretches out and starts falling downward, now in normal form) AHHHHHHHHH!!!! (hits the ground) Ooh! (separates into seven smaller SpongeBobs, who all run away and then join back together, except for one, which SpongeBob catches and places in an open space on his backside. Wipes the sweat off his forehead) Phew! I salute you, oh majestic jellyfish. (salutes a jellyfish that buzzes over his head) Your command of the sky is unmatched. Floating just out of the reach of my net, but near enough that I can see your untamed beauty. (a jellyfish floats up and down above SpongeBob's palm. Music begins to play as a microphone lowers in front of him. Clears his throat)

Music: "I Wish, I Could Fly"

If only I could join you there in the air
Floating free without a care
I wish I could fly
And see things with a different eye

(SpongeBob's two eyes combine into one big eye. The camera zooms into it and his pupil becomes him flying through the sky)

I would fly so very high and touch the sky

(he flies through a crowd)

And never have to ask why it is that I can't fly

(the blue sky backdrop turns back into Jellyfish Fields, and SpongeBob falls to the ground. He gets up)

SpongeBob: Wait a minute, I'm forgetting the words of Grandpa SquarePants. (a thought cloud appears above SpongeBob's head. SpongeBob's grandfather is inside of it)

Grandpa SquarePants: (in SpongeBob's thought cloud) If we were meant to fly, we'd have propellers on our heads or jet engines on our backs. (the cloud disappears)

SpongeBob: (snaps) I'm gonna follow his advice, by gum. I'll invent a flying machine! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob working on building a plane outside of a barn. Patrick walks up to him)

Patrick: What's that contraption, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: That, Patrick, is a flying machine. (Patrick laughs) What's so funny?

Patrick: Well, it's like my grandpa used to say. (a thought cloud appears over his head. Grandpa SquarePants is inside it again)

Grandpa SquarePants: If we were meant to fly, uh... hey, I'm not your grandfather! (pokes Patrick in the head with his cane. The thought cloud disappears)

SpongeBob: Well, here I go, Patrick! (runs to the front) I'm off to fly with the jellyfish! Ignition, check! (spins the propeller around) Landing gear... (kicks the tire) check! Complimentary peanuts... (holds up a bag of peanuts) check-a-roo. (hops into the cockpit, now with a hat and glasses on) Ready for takeoff! (pushes a handle forward. The plane starts up, then comes to pieces. The propeller spins through the air and slices through a grain silo next to the farm. Sand pours out of it and covers him and Patrick)

Patrick: You cut a hole in Farmer Jenkins' grain silo!

SpongeBob: Don't remind me.

Farmer Jenkins: (runs up) I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines! Now git! (Patrick and SpongeBob run away)

Patrick: We better do what he says. He knows how to grow food! (bubble-wipe to Patrick standing in front of his rock, looking dumb. SpongeBob runs up with blueprints in his hand)

SpongeBob: Well, it took me all night, but here they are. The new blueprints! I wasn't even close with that last one. Propellers, rudders... (blows raspberries. Bubble-wipe to him standing on the top of a cliff in a rubbery bat costume) This one's gonna fly! (stretches out the wings. The camera focuses on SpongeBob's butt, which is sticking out more than ever) I can feel it. Ready, Patrick?

Patrick: (at the bottom of the cliff) Ready!

SpongeBob: (jumps and starts flapping his wings. Starts gasping) It's working, Patrick! I'm flying! I'm... (ceases to fly) ...falling!!! (hits the ground) Ooh! (Patrick runs over and sprays him with a fire extinguisher. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, holding a clipboard, and Patrick, walking)

SpongeBob: This is it, Patrick. The physics are all here. This time, I'm gonna fly!, Be hold (walks up to a lawn chair with two balloons attached to it and a brick sitting on it)

Patrick: Oh boy, a birthday party!

SpongeBob: (laughs) No, Patrick. This is the SquarePants Flyer Mark Three. (goes over and picks up the brick) All you do is remove the brick, or ballast, and... (turns around and realizes that his invention is no longer there) Huh? (looks up and sees it flying away) Well, back to the drawing board.

Patrick: Can we have the cake now? (singing) Happy, happy birthday to you! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, attached to a red kite, which is attached to a bicycle that Patrick is on)

SpongeBob: Patrick, get ready to say "Eureka!"

Patrick: Okay!

SpongeBob: Go!!! (Patrick starts pedaling. Lifts up off the bucket he is standing on and flies through the air) It's working! I'm flying! (flies past three fish on the side of the road)

Cap Fish: Hey! Look at that guy tied to a kite!

Fred: Why's he doing that?

Nancy: Oh my goodness...

Fred: Why's he doing that?

Cap Fish: He'll fall and break his...

Nancy: Can you see from up there?

SpongeBob: Do not be afraid, earthbound people. I am not a flying monster, I am just one of you. (suddenly, the kite snaps on him and falls out of the sky) D'oh! (Patrick keeps pedaling as SpongeBob repeatedly hits the ground behind him) Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! (the three fish crack up. Bubble-wipe to the Barg'n Mart. SpongeBob is standing at the cash register in front of Vendor. Puts the shredded kite on the counter) Excuse me, sir, but I would like to return this kite.

Vendor: Hey... I know you. Yeah, from today's paper! (holds up a newspaper with a picture of SpongeBob on the front page and the headline "Local Nutcase Tries to Fly")

SpongeBob: "Local nutcase tries to fly"?! I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams? Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs too!

Vendor: No they didn't.

SpongeBob: (raises his fist) You'll see. (walks outside, and past Monroe and his mother)

Monroe: Look mom, it's the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom.

Mother: Wow! I wonder why he's still using his legs.

Monroe: Come on, Bird Man. Flap your wings and fly! (makes flapping motions. He and his mother laugh cruelly. SpongeBob walks away, only to encounter many other fish)

Cap Fish: Hey, Bird Man, going to check on your eggs?

Nancy: Maybe he's looking for a statue to poop on.

Fred: (steps in front of SpongeBob and starts flapping his arms and making chicken noises; a crowd of fish around him laughs)

SpongeBob: Go on and laugh, but it is a sad day in Bikini Bottom when a guy is ridiculed for having dreams! (two fish holding babies stand to the side of him)

Mother #2: You think you're the only one with unfulfilled dreams?

Stubble Fish: I was supposed to be a concert pianist... until I realized I didn't have any fingers. (looks at his hands)

Fish: We all had dreams.

Nancy: What makes you so special? (the crowd of fish turns into an angry mob, along with pitchfork and torches)

Mob: Let's get him!

SpongeBob: (the mob chases him. Starts panting, then stops) Huh? (camera zooms out to reveal SpongeBob just stepped off the edge of a cliff. Falls down) AHHHHH!!!

Fish: Good riddance, dreamer!

SpongeBob: AHHHHH!!! (lands in a Mud Removal truck) Ooh! (the truck makes a sharp turn and SpongeBob falls out, covered in mud; while falling) Well, it can't get any worse. Doh! (lands in a Feather Delivery truck. Sticks his head, which is now covered with feathers, up) I guess I spoke too soon. (the scene freezes)

French Narrator: Will SpongeBob learn to fly? Stay tuned. (fade to black. Fade back in on SpongeBob, with a towel wrapped around his body and the top of his head, looking out the window at the jellyfish flying by)

SpongeBob: There they go again, Gary. (sighs) I suppose I'll never join them in the sky. I'll be stuck on the ground, sentenced to a flightless life. (takes off his towel, under which is his underwear, and tosses it away) Oh well. I guess all dreams aren't meant to come true. (grabs his pants and puts them on) Back to reality. (walks over to the sink. Gary the Snail follows)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: No, Gary, my dreams are silly. (takes the towel off of his head. Grabs a comb and blow-dryer and starts brushing and drying his spongy hair. The phone rings. Sticks the blow-dryer partially in his pants and answers the phone) Hello? No, this isn't the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom. What? (the blow-dryer starts to inflate his pants) No, I certainly do not live in a birdcage. Who is this? Joe Momma? Well, listen up, Joe. (Gary retreats inside his shell) I hate to break it to you, but flying is impossible. (floats upward and hits the ceiling) I have to go now. My head just hit the ceiling. Huh? Hey! Look, Gary! (pulls the blow-dryer out of his pants) I... I think I'm flying! Jellyfish Fields, here I come! (the top half of his pineapple opens up and he flies out of it)

Monroe: (points) Mom, look! It's the flying guy!

Mother: Wow, I guess he wasn't a lunatic after all. (SpongeBob is flying over the town)

Music: "He's Flying"

SpongeBob: I'm flying! I'm flying!

(Cap Fish pops up)

Cap Fish: He's flying!

(a guy pops out the window)

Fish: He's flying!

(the old woman fish pops up)

Citizens: He's really, really flying!

(Nancy opens her door. Tom pops out of the sewer, moving his fingers in rhythm)

SpongeBob: They laughed, they scoffed, before I had liftoff.

(the Old Woman Fish stands next to a blue fish with balloons. An aqua fish stands next to another older fish. A business fish and the vendor pass by)

Citizens: But now he's flying.

(SpongeBob passes over them)

He's flying high in the sky. 

(Johnson drives by in a boat; another fish drives behind them; a couple other fish enter the scene)

SpongeBob: I'd love to hang around to say I told you so.

(takes off)

But it's off to Jellyfish Fields I go!

(passes by a sign pointing in the direction of the Fields, making it bobble)

Roads and streets are not for me. 

(passes over an intersection with a stoplight)

Mrs. Puff: Help! Please help! My snail is up a tree. I've had her since I was a little girl. (takes a deep breath) But now it looks like the end of her world. (the tree branch holding the snail snaps off) NO!!!!!!

SpongeBob: (catches the snail) Gotcha! (laughs. Hands the snail to Mrs. Puff) Next time, try the elevator. (flies off)

Mrs. Puff: Thank you, Bird Man! (SpongeBob flies upward in a circle, leaving a swirling rainbow path behind him. He flies up to a plane, in which Fred is sitting, among others)

SpongeBob: I have never felt so free!

(Fred looks out the window at SpongeBob in bewilderment)

High in the sky is the place for me.

(flies away. Fred pulls down an oxygen mask and starts breathing heavily)

Helping friends from up above.

(SpongeBob flies onward some more, still leaving a rainbow path behind him. Sprinkles drop down over a group of children. Monroe sticks his tongue out and catches one, then makes a face in disgust)

These are the things that I love!

(picks up a dime off the ceiling of a building and drops it in Mr. Krabs' hand)

I'll help Mr. Krabs reclaim his dime.

Mr. Krabs: I'm rich! (Patrick stares in awe at a mime doing his shtick. SpongeBob swoops down and lifts him into the air)

SpongeBob: And I'll save Patrick from this mime!

Patrick: Thanks, buddy! (SpongeBob flies over to a kelp bush)

SpongeBob: Even Plankton needs some help,
when he gets tangled in the
ke-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-elllllllp! 

(inside the bush, Plankton is struggling to untangle himself from a piece of kelp. SpongeBob lifts him up)

Plankton: Please put me down!

("He's Flying" ends. Cut to the Bikini Bottom News, where a Realistic Fish Head is reporting)

Realistic Fish Head: All of Bikini Bottom is abuzz over the identity of a mysterious flying man who helps people. (cut to Tom, wearing a bad hairpiece)

Tom: He found my hair piece! (cut to a little boy fish)

Boy: He helps people... and he flies... and he helps people.

Realistic Fish Head: (back at the desk) Who knows what superhero act of courage he'll astound us with next? (cut to a foggy night at Goo Lagoon. The lighthouse is shining its light around, when suddenly, it goes out. Johnson and an old fish run up)

Johnson: Oh no! The light in the Goo Lagoon lighthouse went out, and Sailor Jenkins is headed for the coastline!

Sailor Jenkins: (drives through the fog in a boat on the lagoon) I'm glad I gave up farming!

SpongeBob: (flies down) I'm coming! (takes out the old light bulb and reaches behind his back to get a new one. Screws it in and flips the switch. It turns on and Sailor Jenkins turns back around. A crowd of people run up, cheering)

Johnson: Thanks, mysterious flying man!

Sailor Jenkins: (slams into a large rock in the middle of the lagoon. His boat starts to sink) I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines!

SpongeBob: (walking away, with his pants deflated, brushing his hands off) That's enough good deeds for one day. I've got a date with a flock of jellyfish.

Mr. Krabs: (runs up) SpongeBob! Son! I need you and your magical pants!

SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, I invented these pants so I could fly with the jellyfish! If I keep doing favors for people I'll never make my dreams a reality. (starts to walk away)

Mr. Krabs: But SpongeBob, it's an emergency!

SpongeBob: (stops and inflates his pants) Let's roll! (flying through the sky with Mr. Krabs in his arms) Where to, Mr. K?

Mr. Krabs: Uh... my garage.

SpongeBob: You've got it! (lands next to Mr. Krabs' garage) What's the emergency, Mr. Krabs

Mr. Krabs: Are you sure you're up for it, boy?

SpongeBob: I think my pants can handle it.

Mr. Krabs: I need you...

SpongeBob: (anxiously) Yes?

Mr. Krabs: To clean...

SpongeBob: Clean up crime?

Mr. Krabs: My garage.

SpongeBob: (his pants deflate) That's your emergency?

Mr. Krabs: But SpongeBob, everyone knows it's easier to clean a garage when you can fly!

SpongeBob: (crosses his arms) All right, Mr. Krabs. I'll clean your garage. But after this, no more favors! (inflates his pants again. Bubble-wipe to later. Flies out of the garage, finished with the job) All done, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: (sunbathing) And the recyclables?

SpongeBob: Aw, shrimp. (turns around and reenters the garage. Bubble-wipe to even later. Flies away) Finally! Jellyfish Fields, here I come!

Patrick: (off-screen) SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Patrick's in trouble.

Patrick: (lying on his back in the street) SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: (flies down to him) What is it, buddy?

Patrick: Will you scratch my tummy? (SpongeBob gets annoyed but does it anyway) Ah... (a montage begins)

Larry: Help me pick out a tie? (holds out three different colored ties. SpongeBob picks one)

Squidward: Clean my bathtub? (SpongeBob unwillingly obeys)

Mrs. Puff: Balance my checkbook? (SpongeBob scribbles in her checkbook)

Plankton: Help spread the word of evil? (SpongeBob hands out newspapers with the headline "EVIL" on them)

Hat Fish: Untangle my phone chords?

Cap Fish: Do my geometry?

Nancy: Talk to my plants!

Dennis: Rub my scalp? (SpongeBob rubs the man's scalp) Mmm... oh yeah!

SpongeBob: (stops and starts flailing his arms) Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm supposed to be at Jellyfish Fields right now. But instead, I'm rubbing your scalp. And I don't even know who you are.

Dennis: But, we went to elementary school together.

SpongeBob: Dennis? (starts rubbing his scalp again)

Dennis: Mmm... oh yeah! (bubble-wipe to a crowd of fish searching for SpongeBob)

Cap Fish: SpongeBob!

Monroe: Hey SpongeBob!

Fred: SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: (hiding behind a rock) If I don't give these feverish favor-seekers the slip, I'll never get to fly with the jellyfish. (quietly flies away)

Monroe: Hey! There he is! (SpongeBob flies faster) He's getting away!

Fred: No! He owes us favors!

Monroe: Get him!!! (the angry crowd, including Mrs. Puff, Squidward and Larry, chases after him into Downtown Bikini Bottom. While SpongeBob flies past the buildings in a straight line, the crowd runs up and down each building. They stop at a cliff, before Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob keeps flying)

SpongeBob: I'm almost at Jellyfish Fields. I'm gonna make it!

Johnson: He's headed for Jellyfish Fields! We'll never catch him now!

Cannonball Jenkins: (off-screen) I'll take care of this!

Crowd: It's Cannonball Jenkins!!!

Cannonball Jenkins: (inside a lit cannon, wearing a red helmet and suit. Launches out of the cannon and toward SpongeBob. Collides with him, and SpongeBob's inflatable pants explode. The two hurtle toward the ground. SpongeBob falls even further as Cannonball Jenkins opens up a red parachute) I told you nothing good would come from city folk and their flying machines! (the crowd watches as SpongeBob crashes to the ground. They walk over)

Fred: What have we done? (starts to cry) Come on, everybody! I think a proper burial is in order. (picks up the pants) A pair of pants like these come around... once in a lifetime. (the crowd leaves. SpongeBob, now in his underwear, regains consciousness)

SpongeBob: Well, it was fun while it lasted. (walks up to Jellyfish Fields, then walks away) I guess I'm not meant to fly after all. (sighs. Starts to raise up in the air. A group of jellyfish are below him, carrying him up) Huh? Hey! My jellyfish friends are helping me fly! Without pants! I guess it just goes to show... (the jellyfish carry him back to Bikini Bottom; singing)

Music: "All You Need is Friends to Fly"

You don't need a plane to fly,

(Johnson looks out the window at him)

Plastic wings may make you cry,

(a flock of scallops fly by)

Kites are made for windy days,
Lawn chair with balloons... fly away...

(the crowd of fish bury SpongeBob's pants as they mourn over them)

Inflatable pants... you may as well skiiiiip...

(arrives at his home; the jellyfish put him back on the ground)

If you want to fly, all you need... is friendship.
Yeah.

(the jellyfish buzz away. SpongeBob waves)

SpongeBob: Goodbye, jellies! You taught me a valuable lesson. Although I'm not quite sure what it was.

Patrick: (walks up) Hey! Let's fly down to the pizza house for a slice.

SpongeBob: No more flying for me, Patrick. I'll leave that to the jellyfish. (opens his door)

Patrick: Suit yourself. (lifts up his arm and flies away)

SpongeBob: (turns back around) Did Patrick just...? (laughs) Nah! (enters his house again, but opens the door one last time, just to make sure. Fade back to Patchy's house)

Patchy: Wow! Wasn't that great, kids?

Potty: Let's watch it again.

Patchy: (chuckles) That's a great idea, Potty. (looks on the table) Where's the remote? (continues searching) Where's the remote? (stands up) Oh, I lost the remote! They should make those things-- (a brick flies through the window and hits Patchy on the head) Eh... (falls to the floor)

Potty: Brawk!

Patchy: (stands back up and drops the brick on his foot. He is now holding his remote) My remote! (goes to the window) Thanks, stranger!

Mrs. Johnson: (outside, in a wheelchair) Don't mention it, Patchy! (flames shoot of the back of her wheelchair and she peels off, leaving a skid mark behind)

Patchy: Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind? (presses a button. A juggling clown appears on TV) No, that's not it. (presses another button. A weatherman appears on TV) D'oh! Wrong again. (keeps flipping through the channels and grunting. A black and white horse movie comes on, then a blob movie, then a football game, then the giraffe from Krusty Krab Training Video, then the anemone from Your Shoe's Untied, then a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling a Triceratops. Potty flies over)

Potty: Brawk! Let me do it!

Patchy: No, get away! (the lights go out) That's the light switch! Gimme that. Gah! (the light turns back on; Patchy and Potty fight over the remote, until a Spanish mariachi band pops up from behind the couch)

Potty: Brawk! That's the mariachi band button!

Patchy: Grrrrr... I hate technology! (a member of the mariachi band plays a trumper. Another member plays a guitar and a third member plays a bass guitar. Continues pressing buttons on the remote) Rewind... darn you! (suddenly, the VCR starts spitting out tape)

Potty: Brawk! Failure ahoy!

Patchy: No! (tries to stop the tape from spewing out) Stop! STOP!!! Oh, blasted infernal machine! (gets tangled up and falls over, still struggling) Oh, no! I've ruined the lost episode! Now it's lost forever!

Potty: Brawk! Lost forever!

French Narrator: Oh boy, what a loser. Well, I guess the lost episode will remain lost. But, tape or no tape, as long as there are stars in the sky, SpongeBob will live on in our hearts and in our minds. (a SpongeBob constellation appears over Patchy's house) Now get lost. I mean, bye. No, really, get lost.


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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