Episode Transcript: Sand Castles in the Sand

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Episode Article: [[Sand Castles in the Sand]]
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Episode Article: [[Sand Castles in the Sand (Episode)|Sand Castles in the Sand]]
  
 
==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
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*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
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*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
 
*[[Harold]]
 
*[[Harold]]
 
*[[Scooter]]
 
*[[Scooter]]
 
*[[Lifeguard]]
 
*[[Lifeguard]]
*Bus Driver
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*[[Bus Driver]]
*Fish#1
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*Fish #1
*Fish#2
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*Fish #2
*Fish#3
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*Fish #3
*Two sandgriffins
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*Two Sand Griffins
 
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==Locations==
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*[[Goo Lagoon]]
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*[[Patrick's House]]
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==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
[[SpongeBob]] goes out of his house and knocks on Patrick's Rock.)
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(SpongeBob goes out of his house and knocks on Patrick's rock)
  
[[Spongebob]]: Get up [[Patrick]], it's time.
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'''SpongeBob''': Get up, Patrick, it's time. (the rock opens when Patrick wakes up from his sleep)
  
(The rock opens when [[Patrick]] wakes up from his sleep)
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'''Patrick''': Time for what? (SpongeBob jumps into Patrick's house)  
  
[[Patrick]]: Time for what?
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'''SpongeBob''': The big shindig, remember?
  
([[Spongebob]] jumps into [[Patrick's house]])  
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'''Patrick''': No. Besides, I don't really think my shins should be involved. (wiggling his foot) They're a bit flabby today.
  
[[Spongebob]]: The big shindig, remember?
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'''SpongeBob''': That's shindig, buddy. We're spending the day at the beach in the honor of our best friendship.
  
[[Patrick]]: No. Besides, I don't really think my shins should be involved. (Wiggling his foot) They're a bit flabby today.
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'''Patrick''': The beach? Just you and me? (SpongeBob rips off his pants showing his swim trunks. Then Patrick tears off his skin, revealing his internal organs) So am I ready for the beach, SpongeBob?
  
[[Spongebob]]: That's shindig, buddy. We're spending at the beach in honor of our best friendship.
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, sure. A little sunscreen and I'm sure you'll be fine. (bubble-wipe to outside where a bus stops. SpongeBob and Patrick lift a huge bag into the bus' door) I'm spending the whole day at the beach with my best friend. (puts the huge bag on a chair beside a fish. SpongeBob and Patrick both cram themselves on the same seat along with the fish)
  
[[Patrick]]: The beach? Just you and me?
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'''Fish''': You're hurting me! (the bus moves. SpongeBob talks to Harold)
  
([[Spongebob]] rips his pants and his beach pants shows. Then [[Patrick]] tears off his skin, revealing his internal organs)
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'''SpongeBob''': Guess what?
  
[[Patrick]]: So am I ready for the beach, [[Spongebob]]?
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'''Harold''': (worried) What?
  
[[Spongebob]]: Oh, sure. A little sunscreen will be fine.
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'''SpongeBob''': (shouting) I'M GOING TO THE BEACH WITH MY BEST FRIEND!!! (taps on the shoulder of the bus driver) Oh, bus driver....
  
(A bus stops. [[Spongebob]] and [[Patrick]] lift a huge bag into the bus' door.)  
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'''Bus Driver''': (crankily) What?!
  
[[Spongebob]]: I'm spending at the beach the whole day with my best friend.
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'''SpongeBob''': Okay. Out of everybody on this bus, guess which one is my best friend?
  
([[Spongebob]] puts the huge bag on a chair beside a fish. [[Spongebob]] and [[Patrick]] sit on the chair but the fish is uncomfortable.)
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'''Bus Driver''': I don't care!
  
Fish #1: You're hurting me!
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'''SpongeBob''': You know what this situation calls for, Patrick? (takes out a keyboard guitar [keytar], and Patrick takes out an accordion) A few verses of "The Best Friend Tune!" (singing) Best friends-- (the bus stops. SpongeBob and Patrick are kicked off it. The bus moves from them) Hey, wait! This is not our stop! Oh, how are we going to get to the beach now, Patrick? We don't even know where we are.
  
(The bus moves. [[Spongebob]] talks to [[Harold]].)
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'''Patrick''': I knew it! We've been abandoned!
  
[[Spongebob]]: Guess what?
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'''SpongeBob''': No! (they start crying) No, Patrick. No one is ever going to find us out here! (a ball hits SpongeBob's head)
  
[[Harold]]: (worried) what?
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'''Scooter''': A little help, bro?
  
[[Spongebob]]: (shouting) I'M GOING TO THE BEACH WITH MY BEST FRIEND!!! (Then, he taps on the shoulder of the bus driver.)
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'''SpongeBob''': Look, Patrick. We made it. Hey, best friend... Check this out. (shows his butt and his pants appear to be sagging. Takes a frisbee [plastic disc] from his butt) It's a small plastic disc that you throw.
  
[[Spongebob]]: Oh, bus driver....
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'''Patrick''': Small plastic disc that you throw?! I love playing small plastic disc that you throw.
  
Bus driver: (crankily) what?!
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'''SpongeBob''': I do too, buddy. If only small plastic disc that you throw had a shorter, catchier name.
  
[[Spongebob]]: Okay. Everyone in this bus. Guess which one is my best friend.
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'''Patrick''': Oh. Oh! How about small plastic disc that you ''toss''?
  
Bus driver: I don't care!
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'''SpongeBob''': Perfect! Now run along, Patrick and I'll ''toss'' it to ya! (Patrick runs and SpongeBob throws the frisbee) Ready? (Patrick keeps running to catch the frisbee. He steps on two people)
  
[[SpongeBob]]: You know what this situation calls for? (Brings out a guitar while [[Patrick]] brings out an accordion) A few verses of "The Best Friend Tune!" (Singing) Best friends-
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'''Fish #2 and Fish #3''': Ouch! (Patrick steps in the sand and kicks sand in a guy's sandwich)
  
(The bus stops. [[Spongebob]] and [[Patrick]] fall down from the bus. The bus moves from them.)
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'''Nat''': Ha, ha! That's why they call it a ''sand''wi... (Patrick spreads sand into Nat's mouth. Patrick keeps running to chase the frisbee but he almost runs into a pane of glass being carried by two workers. He crashes through an ice cream cart, and then into a lifeguard tower. When the lifeguard tower is destroyed, the frisbee lands in his hand)
  
[[Spongebob]]: Hey, wait! This is not our stop! Oh, how we gonna get to the beach now, [[Patrick]]. We didn't know where we are.
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'''Patrick''': I caught it! Wasn't that cool, SpongeBob? (the lifeguard emerges from the rubble)
  
[[Patrick]]: I know it. We've been abandoned!
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'''Lifeguard''': I can assure you, that that was not cool! Just look at what you've done. Your buffoonery has destroyed the lifeguard tower! Why don't you find something to do that's less obnoxious?
  
[[Spongebob]]: No! (They start crying) No, [[Patrick]]. I don't want to stuck here.
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'''Patrick''': Like what?
  
(A ball hits Spongebob's head)
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'''Lifeguard''': I don't know. Go play in the sand or something.
  
[[Scooter]]: Little help, bro?
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'''Patrick''': Well, I don't know. Playing with the sand sounds pretty boring.
  
[[Spongebob]]: Look, Patrick. We made it. Hey, best friend. Check this out. ([[Spongebob]] shows his butt but there's a hip on it. [[Spongebob]] takes a plastic disc from his butt.) It's a small plastic disc that you throw.
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'''SpongeBob''': Nonsense, Patrick. There are plenty of fun things to do in the sand. We can draw or practice our cursive writing or-
  
[[Patrick]]: Small plastic disc that you throw?! I love playing small plastic disc that you throw.
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'''Patrick''': Boring, SpongeBob, boring.
  
[[Spongebob]]: I do to, buddy. If only small plastic disc that you throw have a shorter catchier name.
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'''SpongeBob''': I know, we can made sand castles.
  
[[Patrick]]: Oh. Oh! How about, small plastic disc that you "toss"
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'''Patrick''': That sounds ''un''boring. (hits his arm to SpongeBob)
  
[[Spongebob]]: Perfect! Run along [[Patrick]] and I'll "toss" it to ya! ([[Patrick]] runs and [[Spongebob]] throws the plastic disc) Ready?
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'''SpongeBob''': No one's ever been annoyed by a sand castle. (laughs. Bubble-wipe to sometime later) Nothing quite like the joy of sand castling. (he is building a sand castle. Talks to the man he has drawn in a window of his castle) Eh, buddy? How you doing over there?
  
([[Patrick]] keeps running catching the plastic disc until he didn't realize that he step on two fish.)
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'''Patrick''': Everything's dandy in Patrick's Kingdom. (starts building a "sand castle". Then he stops when SpongeBob talks)
  
Fish #2 and Fish #3: Ouch!!
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, a structure like that can't protect a king and his subjects. Here let me help you. First, you should start all over. (starts building sand castle but stops when Patrick talks)
  
([[Patrick]] steps in the sand but the sand spread to someone's sandwich)
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'''Patrick''': What are you doing? You destroyed my castle!
  
[[Nat]]: Ha, ha! Now that’s why they call a "sand"wi... ([[Patrick]] spreads into Nat's mouth)
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'''SpongeBob''': I'm just trying to help, buddy.
  
([[Patrick]] keeps running to chase the plastic disc but he didn't realize that he almost hit two fishes lifting a mirror, but he destroys an ice-cream parlor and the life guard tower. When the life guard tower is destroyed, he got the plastic disc.)
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'''Patrick''': I don't need any help. (Billy comes)
  
[[Patrick]]: I got it! Wasn't that cool, [[Spongebob]]?
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'''Billy''': Here are those architectural plans you requested.
  
Life Guard: I can assure you that was not cool. Just look at what you've done. Your buffoonery has destroyed the whole life guard tower! Why don't you find something that is less obnoxious?
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'''Patrick''': Why, thank you. Here's a little something for you. (gives sand money to Billy. The sand breaks)
  
[[Patrick]]: Like what?
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'''SpongeBob''': Well I suppose I should just tend to the affairs of my own realm. And I'll start by making a queen to rule by your side. (what appears to be a rock hits the castle and it collapses)
  
Life guard: I don't know. Go play in the sand or something.
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'''Patrick''': Now, we're even.
  
[[Patrick]]: I don't know. Playing with the sand sounds pretty boring.
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'''SpongeBob''': All right, Patrick. Have it your way. (draws a line in the sand separating the two of them) You keep to your territory and I'll keep to mine. (builds a new sand castle fast. The sand castle resembles a typical castle. Patrick looks at his blueprints and throws it away)
  
[[Spongebob]]: Nonsense, [[Patrick]]. There are plenty of fun things to do in the sand. We can draw or practice our cursive writing or-
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'''Patrick''': Now, this'll show SpongeBob that he's not the only one who can build a castle! (builds a new sand castle fast. His sand castle is essentially a fortress with pointy spike-like arrows on the roof) Let see SpongeBob destroy ''this'' castle.
  
[[Patrick]]: Boring, Spongebob, boring.
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'''SpongeBob''': I better build a wall just in case King ''Pinky'' gets any funny ideas. (cut to the castle, with a wall surrounding it. Builds the last part of the wall but then notices that Patrick's castle is over the borderline) Oh, sir. You built onto my side.
  
[[Spongebob]]: I know, we can made sandcastles.
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'''Patrick''': So?
  
[[Patrick]]: That's sounds unboring.([[Patrick]] hits his arm to [[Spongebob]].)
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'''SpongeBob''': So you don't do that! (chops off the portion of Patrick's castle that is crossing) There. That restores the integrity of our shared border.
  
[[Spongebob]]: No one's ever annoyed by a sand castle. (Laughs)
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'''Patrick''': You tyrant! You've done it again! (builds a hammer out of sand) I'll show you what for.
  
[[Spongebob]]: Nothing quite like to joy of sand castling.(He is building a sandcastle. He talks to a fish that fish he made on the window) ain’t that right, buddy. How you doing over there?
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'''SpongeBob''': But what for what?! (Patrick charges toward SpongeBob's castle and destroys it using the hammer)  
  
[[Patrick]]: Everything's dandy in [[Patrick]]'s Kingdom.(He starts building a "sandcastle". Then stopped when [[Spongebob]] talks.)
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'''Patrick''': Now we're even. Again!
  
[[Spongebob]]: Oh, a structure like that will not protect the king and the subjects. Here let me help you. First, you should start all over. (Starts building sandcastle but stops when [[Patrick]] talks)
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'''SpongeBob''': Okay, Patrick. I can accept that. No more destruction from this point forward, okay? Okay, back to square one again. (builds a ''huge'' sand castle that resembles a real castle, including a window near the top and two sand griffins. Looks at Patrick building a sand castle using a telescope. Patrick finishes his castle)
  
[[Patrick]]: What are you doing? You're destroying my castle.
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'''Patrick''': A-ha! (stands on the top of his huge sand castle, a bigger fortress with many pointy arrows while SpongeBob looks surprised. Bubble-wipe to later in the day. SpongeBob plays a sand trumpet)
  
[[Spongebob]]: I'm just trying to help, buddy.
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'''SpongeBob''': I hereby propose a non-aggression treaty to end hostilities between our two kingdoms. (gives Patrick a sand feather and a sand board to sign. Patrick signs it) Patrick, by signing this historic armistice, you have brought peace to our lands. May your kingdom prosper. (walks into his door) Well that went well-- (a sand arrow hits his wall) What are you doing? What about the treaty?
  
[[Patrick]]: I don't need any help.
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'''Patrick''': (holds up the sand board) This treaty isn't worth the sand it's printed on! (the sand board disintegrates)
  
(A fish came)
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, is that so? Well if you think you can take down this castle, my answer is: Bring it on! (Patrick laughs. He builds a horse and knight army and SpongeBob stands shocked)
  
[[Billy]]: For the architect your pleasure with questions.
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'''SpongeBob''': (coughs) Patrick, I'm trying to be the nice guy here. Let's call this silly business off.
  
[[Patrick]]: Why, thank you. Here's a little something for you. ([[Patrick]] gives sand money to [[Billy]]. But the sand breaks.)
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'''Patrick''': No way! You started it!
  
[[Spongebob]]: I suppose I'll just attend affairs with my own briem. And I'll start making a queen to rule by your side. (A sand ball destroys the castle)
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'''SpongeBob''': Fine! Have it your way. (walks away)
  
[[Patrick]]: Now, we're even.
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'''Patrick''': (chuckles to himself) Whatever... (gasps. Notices SpongeBob with a sand catapult filled with sand boulders, holding a sand axe. A rope is on the catapult) No, no, no, no. (SpongeBob cuts the rope with his axe, releasing the sand rocks. Screams as the sand rocks hurl toward him, destroying his army while he runs into his castle. SpongeBob laughs and blows a sand horn to call his own army. Four members of the army run towards Patrick's castle. SpongeBob's army starts to ram down the door to Patrick's castle while Patrick is building something. SpongeBob's army breaks the door but Patrick had already made a sand cannon) Oh, hello. And goodbye. (the cannon launches a "sandball" that chases SpongeBob's army. They retreat into SpongeBob's castle)
  
[[Spongebob]]: All, right Patrick. Have it your way.(He make a line between [[Patrick]]'s and his) you keep to your territory and I'll keep mine.(He builds his sandcastle fast)
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'''SpongeBob''': Come on! (the sandball stops and looks both ways) How do you like them apples? (the sandball goes over into the castle and destroys the army like bowling pins)
  
([[Patrick]] looks at his blueprints and throws it away)
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'''Patrick''': (laughing) You'll never win! Do you hear me?! (SpongeBob puts his thumb on a scanner, entering a high-tech planning room in his castle. Then he talks to a sand general)
  
[[Patrick]]: This will show [[Spongebob]] he's not the only one who can build a castle. (He builds his sandcastle fast.) Let see [[Spongebob]] destroy this castle.
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'''SpongeBob''': Uhm. Uhm. Well put general! We'll create a surprise military diversion and break through enemy lines. What say you? (sand constructed general starts to fall apart) Yes! We'll ready ourselves immediately! (makes something from sand. Cut to outside the castle. The door drops. A tank smashes through SpongeBob's castle) How do you like me now? (a Optimus Prime-like robot smashes through Patrick's castle)
  
[[Spongebob]]: I'd better build a wall just in case King "Pinky" get any funny ideas.(He builds the wall fast and realized that Patrick's castle is more in the line.) Oh, sir. You build it on my side.
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'''Patrick''': I like you this much! (the robot walks towards SpongeBob's tank and lifts it up)
  
[[Patrick]]: So?
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'''SpongeBob''': Woah! (Patrick's robot tries to punch the tank)
  
[[Spongebob]]: So you don't do that! (He cuts [[Patrick]]'s castle according the line) There. That restores the enter pity of our share borders.
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'''Patrick''': Feel me!
  
[[Patrick]]: You tyrant! You do it again! (He takes a sand ball and makes it a small hammer) I'll show you what for.
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'''SpongeBob''': Woah--No! (presses a button that activates the tank's cannon. The tank blasts the robot's head. The robot collapses as if it exploded. SpongeBob goes out from his tank and goes to the robot's head)
  
[[Spongebob]]: But for what?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick? Patrick, are you okay?!
  
([[Patrick]] run pass through the line and destroys [[Spongebob]]'s castle using the hammer.)  
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'''Patrick''': The question is... will you be?! (punches a button and the robot head flies while SpongeBob hangs on. SpongeBob's hand slips off and he falls from the robot head. He screams, but pulls out a sand cord that deploys a sand parachute, and he laughs) No fair!
  
[[Patrick]]: Now we're even. Again!
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'''SpongeBob''': All is fair in love and war my friend-slash-enemy, or should I say, my friend-enemy?! (pushes a button on a sand remote, and a sand jet flies in. Safely lands on his sand jet and the jet chases the robot head. The jet targets) Let's have some real fun! (pushes a button and missiles shoot towards Patrick's head robot. Patrick screams and tries to avoid the missiles but they're still following it)
  
[[Spongebob]]: Okay, [[Patrick]]. I can except that. No more destruction point moving forward, okay? Okay, back to the square one again. (He go back make a huge sandcastle like a real castle. He looks at Patrick building a sand castle using a telescope. [[Patrick]] finishes his castle.)
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'''Scooter''': What was that? Come on, we gotta get out of here. (takes his girlfriend and runs away)
  
[[Patrick]]: Ah-ha! (He stand on the top of his huge sandcastle with many pointy arrows.)
+
'''Unknown Man''': Grab the children! (everybody at the beach runs from the beach)
  
([[Spongebob]] plays a sand trumpet)
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'''Patrick''': Oh, yeah? Two can play at this game! (pushes a button. Missiles come out from the sand and launch two fish away. The missiles fly and destroy SpongeBob's missiles. Then the missiles fly towards the jet. SpongeBob manages to attract the missiles to Patrick's castle, which they destroy. SpongeBob laughs) I wasn't going to do this. But you've left me no choice. (the robot head drops an atomic bomb on SpongeBob's castle. One of the sand griffins screams)
  
[[Spongebob]]: I hereby purpose announce an treaty hostility between our two kingdoms.(He gives [[Patrick]] a sand feather and a sand border to sign. Patrick signs it.) [[Patrick]]. By signing this historic armistice, you have brought peace on our land. May your kingdom prosper.(He walks into his door) that went well.(An arrow hits his wall) what are you doing? What about the treaty?
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'''Sand Griffin''': Let's beat it, dude! (flies away with the other griffin as the bomb explodes. Patrick laughs and SpongeBob's jet flies toward the robot head. Then, the jet and the robot head collide. SpongeBob and Patrick are hurt hard)
  
[[Patrick]]: This treaty is the sand is printed on. (The sand board disintegrates)
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'''Patrick''': Uhh, what happened?
  
[[Patrick]]: Oh, is that so? Well you think you can take down this castle, my answer is: Bring it on!
+
'''SpongeBob''': I'll tell you what happened, Patrick. I got carried away.
  
(Patrick laughs. He builds a new horse and knight army and [[Spongebob]] shocks.)
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'''Patrick''': Me too. Was it worth it?
  
[[Spongebob]]: (coughs) Patrick, I'm trying to be the nice guy here. Let's call the silly business off.
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'''SpongeBob''': No, no, it wasn't. What started out as a fun dream turned into a horrible, brutal, nightmare. As the winds of time changed the silvery sands of these dunes to a new landscape, so let us hope that our own winds of change will change our spiritual dunes to a landscape of peace. Oh buddy, let's never forget this lesson. (he and Patrick hug)
  
[[Patrick]]: No way! You started it!
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'''Lifeguard''': Let's also not forget who's gonna clean this place up. (Spongebob and Patrick make disgusted noises. The lifeguard shows SpongeBob and Patrick a broom and a dustpan) Better get started. (SpongeBob grabs the broom while Patrick grabs the dustpan) You've got a lot of work to do.   
 
+
[[Spongebob]]: Fine! Have it your way. (He walks away. He gets ready to cut a rope on his catapult releasing sand boulders.)
+
 
+
[[Patrick]]: No, no, no, no.
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(S[[Spongebob]] cuts the rope and the rocks destroys the horse and knight army while [[Patrick]] run into his castle. [[Spongebob]] laughs and play his sand horn to call his man-alive army. His four army run towards [[Patrick]]'s castle. His armies try to get into the castle while [[Patrick]] is building something. His army’s success to get in but [[Patrick]] already makes a sand cannon.)
+
 
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[[Patrick]]: Oh, hello. And goodbye. (The sand ball from the cannon chases [[Spongebob]]'s armies. They get through into his castle.)
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+
[[Spongebob]]: Come on! (The rock stops and looks both ways) How do you like them apples? (The rock goes over into the castle and destroys the armies like bowling pins.)
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[[Patrick]]: (laughing) you’ll never win! Do you hear me?
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+
([[Spongebob]] puts his thumb on a scanner, entering a high-tech planning room in his castle. Then he talks to a sand general)
+
 
+
[[Spongebob]]: Um. Um. Well good, general. We'll create a surprise military diversion break enemy lines. What say you? (Half of general’s head disappears) Yes! We shall ready our ship immediately. (He makes something from sand. A tank smashes through [[Spongebob]]'s castle.) How do you like me now?
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(A robot like optimus prime smash out from [[Patrick]]'s castle.)
+
 
+
[[Patrick]]: I like you this much! (The robot walks towards [[Spongebob]]'s tank and lifts up.)
+
 
+
[[Spongebob]]: No!
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[[Patrick]]: Feel me! (His robot tries to punch the tank. But [[Spongebob]] manages to blast his tank cannon to the robots head. The robot explodes. [[Spongebob]] goes out from his tank and go into the robot's head)
+
 
+
[[Spongebob]]: [[Patrick]]? [[Patrick]], are you okay?!
+
 
+
[[Patrick]]: Question is: Will you be? ([[Patrick]] punches a button and the robot head flies while [[Spongebob]] hangs on the head. [[Spongebob]] falls from the robot head.)
+
 
+
[[Spongebob]]: (screams and pulls out his sand parachute and he laughs.)
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[[Patrick]]: Hey, no fair!
+
 
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[[Spongebob]]: All fair is love in war my friend slash enemy. Or should I say my friendenemy.(He pushes a button on a remote. He safely lands on his sand jet and jet chases the robot head. The jet targets) let’s have some real fun! (He pushes button and the rocket shoots towards [[Patrick]]'s head robot. [[Patrick]] tries to avoid the rocket but it's still following it.)
+
 
+
[[Scooter]]: What was that? Come on, we gotta get out of here.(He takes his
+
Girlfriend and everybody at the beach runs from the beach.)
+
 
+
[[Patrick]]: Oh, yeah? Well, two can play with this game.(He pushes a button. A rocket comes out from the sand, flies and destroys the rocket. The rockets flies towards the jet. [[Spongebob]] tries to attract the rockets to destroy [[Patrick]]'s castle. [[Spongebob]] laughs.)
+
 
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[[Patrick]]: I wasn't gonna do this but you left me no choice.(The robot head drops an atomic bomb on [[Spongebob]]'s castle)
+
 
+
Griffin #1: (scream)
+
 
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Griffin #2: Let's fly, dude! (He flies away with Griffin #1)
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+
([[Patrick]] laughs and [[Spongebob]]'s jet flies toward the robot head. Then, the jet and the robot head explodes. [[Spongebob]] and [[Patrick]] hurt hard.)
+
 
+
[[Patrick]]: Uhh, what happened?
+
 
+
Spongebob: I'll tell you what happened, [[Patrick]]. I got carried away.
+
 
+
[[Patrick]]: Me too. Was it worth it?
+
 
+
[[Spongebob]]: No! No it wasn't. What started out as a fun dream turned into a horrible brutal nightmare. If the winds of time change the silvering sand to deuce into a new landscape. So let us hope the wind of change to our spirits to deuce to a landscape of peace. Oh, buddy. Let's never forget this lesson. (They hug each other.)
+
 
+
Life guard: Let's also not forget who's gonna clean this place up?
+
 
+
[[Spongebob]] and [[Patrick]]: (disgusted noises)
+
 
+
Life guard: (shows [[Spongebob]] and Patrick a broom and a dustpan.) Better get started. ([[Spongebob]] grabs the broom while [[Patrick]] grabs the dustpan.) You've got a lot of work to do.   
+
 
    
 
    
[[Patrick]]: (looks at [[Spongebob]], looking at Patrick as he smiles.) Bet I can clean up faster than you!
+
'''Patrick''': (looks at SpongeBob, looking at Patrick as he smiles) I bet I can clean up faster than you!
  
[[Spongebob]]: Oh, yeah? Bet you can't!  
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh yeah? I bet you can't!
  
[[Patrick]]: (sweeps the sand with his hand) Yes, I can!
+
'''Patrick''': (sweeps the sand with his hand) Yes, I can!
  
[[Spongebob]]: (sweeps the sand with his broom) No, I can!
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'''SpongeBob''': (sweeps the sand with his broom) No, I can! (he and Patrick fight until the episode ends)
 
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([[Spongebob]] and [[Patrick]] fight until the episode ends)
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{{Transcripts/Season 7}}
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{{Transcripts/Season 6 Ver. 2}}
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 7]]
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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
 
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{{Slogan}}
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Latest revision as of 02:52, 26 September 2024

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Toy Store of Doom Shell Shocked

Episode Article: Sand Castles in the Sand

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(SpongeBob goes out of his house and knocks on Patrick's rock)

SpongeBob: Get up, Patrick, it's time. (the rock opens when Patrick wakes up from his sleep)

Patrick: Time for what? (SpongeBob jumps into Patrick's house)

SpongeBob: The big shindig, remember?

Patrick: No. Besides, I don't really think my shins should be involved. (wiggling his foot) They're a bit flabby today.

SpongeBob: That's shindig, buddy. We're spending the day at the beach in the honor of our best friendship.

Patrick: The beach? Just you and me? (SpongeBob rips off his pants showing his swim trunks. Then Patrick tears off his skin, revealing his internal organs) So am I ready for the beach, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Oh, sure. A little sunscreen and I'm sure you'll be fine. (bubble-wipe to outside where a bus stops. SpongeBob and Patrick lift a huge bag into the bus' door) I'm spending the whole day at the beach with my best friend. (puts the huge bag on a chair beside a fish. SpongeBob and Patrick both cram themselves on the same seat along with the fish)

Fish: You're hurting me! (the bus moves. SpongeBob talks to Harold)

SpongeBob: Guess what?

Harold: (worried) What?

SpongeBob: (shouting) I'M GOING TO THE BEACH WITH MY BEST FRIEND!!! (taps on the shoulder of the bus driver) Oh, bus driver....

Bus Driver: (crankily) What?!

SpongeBob: Okay. Out of everybody on this bus, guess which one is my best friend?

Bus Driver: I don't care!

SpongeBob: You know what this situation calls for, Patrick? (takes out a keyboard guitar [keytar], and Patrick takes out an accordion) A few verses of "The Best Friend Tune!" (singing) Best friends-- (the bus stops. SpongeBob and Patrick are kicked off it. The bus moves from them) Hey, wait! This is not our stop! Oh, how are we going to get to the beach now, Patrick? We don't even know where we are.

Patrick: I knew it! We've been abandoned!

SpongeBob: No! (they start crying) No, Patrick. No one is ever going to find us out here! (a ball hits SpongeBob's head)

Scooter: A little help, bro?

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick. We made it. Hey, best friend... Check this out. (shows his butt and his pants appear to be sagging. Takes a frisbee [plastic disc] from his butt) It's a small plastic disc that you throw.

Patrick: Small plastic disc that you throw?! I love playing small plastic disc that you throw.

SpongeBob: I do too, buddy. If only small plastic disc that you throw had a shorter, catchier name.

Patrick: Oh. Oh! How about small plastic disc that you toss?

SpongeBob: Perfect! Now run along, Patrick and I'll toss it to ya! (Patrick runs and SpongeBob throws the frisbee) Ready? (Patrick keeps running to catch the frisbee. He steps on two people)

Fish #2 and Fish #3: Ouch! (Patrick steps in the sand and kicks sand in a guy's sandwich)

Nat: Ha, ha! That's why they call it a sandwi... (Patrick spreads sand into Nat's mouth. Patrick keeps running to chase the frisbee but he almost runs into a pane of glass being carried by two workers. He crashes through an ice cream cart, and then into a lifeguard tower. When the lifeguard tower is destroyed, the frisbee lands in his hand)

Patrick: I caught it! Wasn't that cool, SpongeBob? (the lifeguard emerges from the rubble)

Lifeguard: I can assure you, that that was not cool! Just look at what you've done. Your buffoonery has destroyed the lifeguard tower! Why don't you find something to do that's less obnoxious?

Patrick: Like what?

Lifeguard: I don't know. Go play in the sand or something.

Patrick: Well, I don't know. Playing with the sand sounds pretty boring.

SpongeBob: Nonsense, Patrick. There are plenty of fun things to do in the sand. We can draw or practice our cursive writing or-

Patrick: Boring, SpongeBob, boring.

SpongeBob: I know, we can made sand castles.

Patrick: That sounds unboring. (hits his arm to SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: No one's ever been annoyed by a sand castle. (laughs. Bubble-wipe to sometime later) Nothing quite like the joy of sand castling. (he is building a sand castle. Talks to the man he has drawn in a window of his castle) Eh, buddy? How you doing over there?

Patrick: Everything's dandy in Patrick's Kingdom. (starts building a "sand castle". Then he stops when SpongeBob talks)

SpongeBob: Oh, a structure like that can't protect a king and his subjects. Here let me help you. First, you should start all over. (starts building sand castle but stops when Patrick talks)

Patrick: What are you doing? You destroyed my castle!

SpongeBob: I'm just trying to help, buddy.

Patrick: I don't need any help. (Billy comes)

Billy: Here are those architectural plans you requested.

Patrick: Why, thank you. Here's a little something for you. (gives sand money to Billy. The sand breaks)

SpongeBob: Well I suppose I should just tend to the affairs of my own realm. And I'll start by making a queen to rule by your side. (what appears to be a rock hits the castle and it collapses)

Patrick: Now, we're even.

SpongeBob: All right, Patrick. Have it your way. (draws a line in the sand separating the two of them) You keep to your territory and I'll keep to mine. (builds a new sand castle fast. The sand castle resembles a typical castle. Patrick looks at his blueprints and throws it away)

Patrick: Now, this'll show SpongeBob that he's not the only one who can build a castle! (builds a new sand castle fast. His sand castle is essentially a fortress with pointy spike-like arrows on the roof) Let see SpongeBob destroy this castle.

SpongeBob: I better build a wall just in case King Pinky gets any funny ideas. (cut to the castle, with a wall surrounding it. Builds the last part of the wall but then notices that Patrick's castle is over the borderline) Oh, sir. You built onto my side.

Patrick: So?

SpongeBob: So you don't do that! (chops off the portion of Patrick's castle that is crossing) There. That restores the integrity of our shared border.

Patrick: You tyrant! You've done it again! (builds a hammer out of sand) I'll show you what for.

SpongeBob: But what for what?! (Patrick charges toward SpongeBob's castle and destroys it using the hammer)

Patrick: Now we're even. Again!

SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick. I can accept that. No more destruction from this point forward, okay? Okay, back to square one again. (builds a huge sand castle that resembles a real castle, including a window near the top and two sand griffins. Looks at Patrick building a sand castle using a telescope. Patrick finishes his castle)

Patrick: A-ha! (stands on the top of his huge sand castle, a bigger fortress with many pointy arrows while SpongeBob looks surprised. Bubble-wipe to later in the day. SpongeBob plays a sand trumpet)

SpongeBob: I hereby propose a non-aggression treaty to end hostilities between our two kingdoms. (gives Patrick a sand feather and a sand board to sign. Patrick signs it) Patrick, by signing this historic armistice, you have brought peace to our lands. May your kingdom prosper. (walks into his door) Well that went well-- (a sand arrow hits his wall) What are you doing? What about the treaty?

Patrick: (holds up the sand board) This treaty isn't worth the sand it's printed on! (the sand board disintegrates)

SpongeBob: Oh, is that so? Well if you think you can take down this castle, my answer is: Bring it on! (Patrick laughs. He builds a horse and knight army and SpongeBob stands shocked)

SpongeBob: (coughs) Patrick, I'm trying to be the nice guy here. Let's call this silly business off.

Patrick: No way! You started it!

SpongeBob: Fine! Have it your way. (walks away)

Patrick: (chuckles to himself) Whatever... (gasps. Notices SpongeBob with a sand catapult filled with sand boulders, holding a sand axe. A rope is on the catapult) No, no, no, no. (SpongeBob cuts the rope with his axe, releasing the sand rocks. Screams as the sand rocks hurl toward him, destroying his army while he runs into his castle. SpongeBob laughs and blows a sand horn to call his own army. Four members of the army run towards Patrick's castle. SpongeBob's army starts to ram down the door to Patrick's castle while Patrick is building something. SpongeBob's army breaks the door but Patrick had already made a sand cannon) Oh, hello. And goodbye. (the cannon launches a "sandball" that chases SpongeBob's army. They retreat into SpongeBob's castle)

SpongeBob: Come on! (the sandball stops and looks both ways) How do you like them apples? (the sandball goes over into the castle and destroys the army like bowling pins)

Patrick: (laughing) You'll never win! Do you hear me?! (SpongeBob puts his thumb on a scanner, entering a high-tech planning room in his castle. Then he talks to a sand general)

SpongeBob: Uhm. Uhm. Well put general! We'll create a surprise military diversion and break through enemy lines. What say you? (sand constructed general starts to fall apart) Yes! We'll ready ourselves immediately! (makes something from sand. Cut to outside the castle. The door drops. A tank smashes through SpongeBob's castle) How do you like me now? (a Optimus Prime-like robot smashes through Patrick's castle)

Patrick: I like you this much! (the robot walks towards SpongeBob's tank and lifts it up)

SpongeBob: Woah! (Patrick's robot tries to punch the tank)

Patrick: Feel me!

SpongeBob: Woah--No! (presses a button that activates the tank's cannon. The tank blasts the robot's head. The robot collapses as if it exploded. SpongeBob goes out from his tank and goes to the robot's head)

SpongeBob: Patrick? Patrick, are you okay?!

Patrick: The question is... will you be?! (punches a button and the robot head flies while SpongeBob hangs on. SpongeBob's hand slips off and he falls from the robot head. He screams, but pulls out a sand cord that deploys a sand parachute, and he laughs) No fair!

SpongeBob: All is fair in love and war my friend-slash-enemy, or should I say, my friend-enemy?! (pushes a button on a sand remote, and a sand jet flies in. Safely lands on his sand jet and the jet chases the robot head. The jet targets) Let's have some real fun! (pushes a button and missiles shoot towards Patrick's head robot. Patrick screams and tries to avoid the missiles but they're still following it)

Scooter: What was that? Come on, we gotta get out of here. (takes his girlfriend and runs away)

Unknown Man: Grab the children! (everybody at the beach runs from the beach)

Patrick: Oh, yeah? Two can play at this game! (pushes a button. Missiles come out from the sand and launch two fish away. The missiles fly and destroy SpongeBob's missiles. Then the missiles fly towards the jet. SpongeBob manages to attract the missiles to Patrick's castle, which they destroy. SpongeBob laughs) I wasn't going to do this. But you've left me no choice. (the robot head drops an atomic bomb on SpongeBob's castle. One of the sand griffins screams)

Sand Griffin: Let's beat it, dude! (flies away with the other griffin as the bomb explodes. Patrick laughs and SpongeBob's jet flies toward the robot head. Then, the jet and the robot head collide. SpongeBob and Patrick are hurt hard)

Patrick: Uhh, what happened?

SpongeBob: I'll tell you what happened, Patrick. I got carried away.

Patrick: Me too. Was it worth it?

SpongeBob: No, no, it wasn't. What started out as a fun dream turned into a horrible, brutal, nightmare. As the winds of time changed the silvery sands of these dunes to a new landscape, so let us hope that our own winds of change will change our spiritual dunes to a landscape of peace. Oh buddy, let's never forget this lesson. (he and Patrick hug)

Lifeguard: Let's also not forget who's gonna clean this place up. (Spongebob and Patrick make disgusted noises. The lifeguard shows SpongeBob and Patrick a broom and a dustpan) Better get started. (SpongeBob grabs the broom while Patrick grabs the dustpan) You've got a lot of work to do.

Patrick: (looks at SpongeBob, looking at Patrick as he smiles) I bet I can clean up faster than you!

SpongeBob: Oh yeah? I bet you can't!

Patrick: (sweeps the sand with his hand) Yes, I can!

SpongeBob: (sweeps the sand with his broom) No, I can! (he and Patrick fight until the episode ends)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
<< Season 5 SpongeBob SquarePants - Transcripts - Season 6 Season 7 >>
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