Episode Transcript: Toy Store of Doom

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Episode Article: Toy Store of Doom



(The scene opens up to Squidward's house and its living room where SpongeBob and Patrick are lying on the couch all bored)

SpongeBob: Ohh. Patrick?

Patrick: Yeah?

SpongeBob: What do you wanna do today?

Patrick: I don't know.

SpongeBob: I guess we could play something.

(SpongeBob opens up a chest and starts digging through it.)

SpongeBob: How about a yo-?

Patrick: No.

SpongeBob:-yo? Buried treasure board game?

Patrick: Nah.

SpongeBob: Dollies?

Patrick: Hmm...Nope.

Patrick: (As SpongeBob holds up a series of toys) No, Nope, Nooope, Uh Uh, Nah, No.

SpongeBob: What about this? (holds up...)

Old man Jenkins: Hello.

Patrick: Uh-uh.

SpongeBob: Hey, we could play with our Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy action figures. (notices his Barnacle Boy action figure is covered in drool and chewed) Eww! Barnacle Boy's all chewed up. And slimy!

(Patrick is chewing on Mermaid Man)

Patrick: Yeah, that'll happen.

SpongeBob: (drops his figure and wipes the germs by his hole) Ohh! There is just nothing to play with!

Patrick: There's got to be something we could do.

Squidward: (enters singing to himself) La da dee, la da dum, la da do... (notices SpongeBob and Patrick) Hey! What are you doing here in my house!?

SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward! Can you think of anything fun we can do?

Squidward: GET OUT!!!

Patrick: We already thought of that one.

(Squidward pushes them out)

Squidward: I believe this this stupid pile belongs to you.

Old man Jenkins: Where are we going now, boys?

SpongeBob: Mmm.

Patrick: Uhhhhhh. I'm so bored! There's got to be something we could do!

(An helicopter puts down a sign that says "it's coming!")

SpongeBob & Patrick: It's coming!? Ohhhhhhhhhh boy! It's coming, it's coming, it's coming!

Patrick: (reading from a sign) Almost there!

Patrick: (reading from another sign) Here it is!

SpongeBob: (reading from another sign) Welcome to Bikini Bottom's newest...Toy store?!

(SpongeBob gasps)

Patrick: Ohhh.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Yeah! Wooooooo!

SpongeBob: Well, we're here.

Patrick: But, where's the toy store?

SpongeBob: Well, I guess it's not open.

Patrick: Not open!?

(Patrick cries, then, SpongeBob cries)

(A builder comes by and drops the Toy Barrel with a crane while they cry.)

Builder: What are you crying about?

Patrick: We wanted to go to the toy store, but, it's not open yet!

(Patrick cries some more)

Builder: Well, it's open now. Look! See! Feel better, now?!

Patrick: Mmm-hmm.

Builder: Then, quit you're crying and get in there! (Groans, then throws Patrick in the Toy Barrel)

SpongeBob: I got it.

(SpongeBob throws himself into the Toy Barrel)

SpongeBob: Ohhhhhhhh! Patrick. Patrick! Get up.

Patrick: No thanks. I'm good down here.

SpongeBob: Loooook! (Patrick looks up)

SpongeBob & Patrick: Oooooooh. Ooooooh. Wow.

SpongeBob: (gasps) Patrick, look at that!

Patrick: (gasps) Wow.

Steve the cashier: Can I help you?

SpongeBob: That depends. Tell me, do you like to sing?

Steve: Oh no.

(SpongeBob clears his throat)

(SpongeBob puts spray in his mouth)

(SpongeBob plays a harmonica)

SpongeBob: La...

Narrator: Several song filled hours later.

SpongeBob: (singing) Toys! Glorious toys! La la la la! Toys! Yeah. Hey, Patrick.

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob. What's with the tutu?

SpongeBob: It's not a tutu, it's a man-tu! You can tell because it has (manly voice) extra support. I got the last one.

Patrick: Uh. Uhhhhhhhh!

(The robot that he had just wound up walks away)

Man: (off screen) Ahhhhhhhhhh!

SpongeBob: What a great day! I hope it never ends!

Patrick: Never!

Woman in speaker: Attention, shoppers, the store is now closed. Please exit immediately.

(Cut to crying and complaining brats with weird adults)

Baby: Waaaaaaaaaaah! But, I don't wanna go!

Tyler: But, Dad, I want it! No! Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!

SpongeBob: Aw, the store's closing. We'll have to leave now.

Patrick: What part of never don't you understand?

SpongeBob: Patrick, we have to leave.

Patrick: I'm not moving.

SpongeBob: But they'll just come and kick us out.

Patrick: Not if we hide.

SpongeBob: Hide? Is that kind of, sneaky?

Patrick: Oh, it's sneaky all right. Really sneaky. C'mon. Haven't you always wanted to have a toy store all to yourself?

SpongeBob: No. But, I do now. What do we do first?!

Patrick: We need to find a hiding spot where they will never find us. And I know just the place.

Guard worm: Ruff! (sniffs a doll house) Grrrrrrr...

Police man: Come on, boy. Let's go.

Police man: The store's empty. So, go ahead and lock her up, Frank.

Steve: My name is Steve.

Police man: Whatever floats your boat, Frank.

Patrick: (pokes his head out of the doll house) The coast is clear. Push, SpongeBob, push!

Patrick: Uhhhhhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhhhh! Push, man, push! Uhhhhhhhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhhhhhh! Ohh, ohh. (pops out)

Patrick: OK, SpongeBob, give me your hand. That's my boy. Brace yourself.

Patrick: (SpongeBob pops out) Uhhhh!

SpongeBob: Thanks, pal. Well, we did it!

SpongeBob: Yay! Ha ha ha ha!

Patrick: Yay! This is so awesome!

SpongeBob: Nothing can ruin it!

(The lights automatically turn off)

SpongeBob & Patrick: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

SpongeBob: Patrick, is that you?

Patrick: What?!

SpongeBob: I said is that you?

Patrick: I can't hear you! It's too dark in here! Don't worry, I'll use my night-vision.

SpongeBob: You have night-vision?

(Patrick shines a light)

Patrick: Yeah!

SpongeBob: How long have you had that?

Patrick: Remember that flashlight I stuck in my ear?

SpongeBob: Oh yeah.

Patrick: I guess it worked it's way into my brain.

(Light flickers out)

Patrick: Shoot, the batteries are dead! Ohhh, it's dark. Scary!

(Patrick cries)

SpongeBob: Calm down, buddy. We just need to find the light switch, but you have to let me down first.

Patrick: Yeah, right SpongeBob. I let you down, we find the light switch, and everything turns out peachy!

SpongeBob: Yes.

Patrick: Look around you, SpongeBob! We're surrounded!

SpongeBob: By toys?

Patrick: That want to get us!

(SpongeBob hallucinates the toys are carnivores)

SpongeBob: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

SpongeBob & Patrick: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

(SpongeBob and Patrick both hallucinate carnivores)

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Eee, eee, eee, eee.

(They hear the robot stomping)

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhh...

(A pair of roller skates and a skateboard are on the ground.)

(SpongeBob & Patrick land on them and start rolling.)

SpongeBob & Patrick: Woop-eeeeee! Ohhhhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhh!

Patrick: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(They end up hiding in the bubblegum machine.)

Patrick: Are we gonna hide in here for the rest of our lives?

SpongeBob: No!

Patrick: Are we going to the ladies' room again?

SpongeBob: No. We're going to fight back that monster for scaring the pants off of us, and most of all, we're gonna win!

(SpongeBob and Patrick take bubble soap and licorice ropes and paint markings on their faces. They burst out of the ladies' room)

Patrick: (laughs) That was fun. Now, let's dress up like fairy princesses!

SpongeBob & Patrick: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Patrick: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

SpongeBob: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

SpongeBob: Ready, Patrick?

Patrick: Let's get some!

(SpongeBob and Patrick blows many bubbles at the robot)

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Nothing can stop it! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

SpongeBob: It was nice knowing you, pal.

Patrick: I know. I'm an interesting guy.

(SpongeBob & Patrick continue crying, and then, suddenly, the robot stops)

(SpongeBob & Patrick breathe in and out)

(Patrick winds up the robot)

SpongeBob: Patrick, don't!

Patrick: What?

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(Outside, kids are waiting for the Toy Barrel to open)

Kids: Yay!

Steve: Ohh. The Toy Barrel is now open for business. (opens the door to the store)

Steve: Prepare for more fun you had.

Kids: Yay...!

(SpongeBob & Patrick come running outside the Toy Barrel with their eyes burning)

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

SpongeBob: My eyes!

Patrick: With Neptune as my witness, may you never experience the unholy terrors that are inside that store. Hey, they're open! (laughs and runs back inside) I love toys!

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