Episode Transcript: Goo Goo Gas
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Episode Article: Goo Goo Gas
- Mr. Krabs
- Officer Frank
- Officer Durado
(It is a normal day at the Krusty Krab. Or so everyone thinks. Plankton is disguised as a pepper shaker. He steals a Krabby Patty from a customer)
Plankton: Ha! (He runs out the Krusty Krab. However, Mr. Krabs picks him up from behind)
Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there, Plankton.
Mr. Krabs: I'll take that. (Gets the Krabby Patty from him)
Plankton: How'd you know it was me?
Mr. Krabs: Next time, wear a disguise without your initial on it.
Plankton: Hmm...perhaps a peppershaker was a bit obvious.
Mr. Krabs: You think! SpongeBob! (SpongeBob runs onto the scene)
SpongeBob: Wooo-ooo! (Krabs puts Plankton in his mouth)
Announcer: (off-screen) 3, 2, 1... launch! (SpongeBob launches Plankton up in the air through his hat)
(Cut to the park. Plankton is on a bench)
Plankton: Never! Never! I'll never get Krabs's formula! Mr. Krabs is too powerful! If only there were a way to render him helpless!
Sadie: Aww, look at you, you're so small, tiny and helpless.
Plankton: Hey, I resent that! Huh?
(Cuts back to show Sadie with her baby)
Sadie: Why, you're so tiny and helpless that I could take your formula whenever I wanted to and you couldn't do a thing about it. (Takes bottle away from baby. He starts to cry until he gets it back)
Plankton: Something about that woman reminds me of my mother. That's it! Finally, victory will be mine! I'll turn Eugene Krabs into a powerless...baby.
(Cut to Mr. Krabs inside his restaurant)
Mr. Krabs: (A penny catches his eye) Ooh, a penny. (He sees a trail of pennies) A trail of pennies! (They lead him into a phone booth outside.) Plankton: (We see some green gas appear around Mr. Krabs) I've done it! Nothing can stop me now! My goo goo gas will transform Krabs into a tiny helpless infant! (He opens the phone booth, revealing Mr. Krabs as a baby. The key is right beside him) The key to the Krusty Krab. This was easier than I hoped. (Looks at Mr. Krabs) He's a little bigger than I imagined. (Mr. Krabs starts biting him) Whoa! No, no! Ah, ah, ahh! Oof! Whoa! (releases him, but he can't reach for the doors)
SpongeBob: Hey, a baby! What are you doing out here all alone, baby? I'll take charge of you until your mommy shows up! Oh, aren't you just too cute. Coochie-coochie-coo!(Laughs.)
Plankton: Hello! If you're done making a total fool of yourself, I could use some help with this lock.
SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Plankton. Here you go.
Plankton: Yes, my plan is working perfectly, now that I've turned Krabs into a helpless baby, the Krabby Patty secret formula will be mine! (laughs) Eh? Hello.
SpongeBob: Police! Police!
(cut to the police taking Plankton away in handcuffs, but they're too big to hold him)
Plankton: Fools, you'll never hold me! These primitive shackles are no match for my genius. (jumps out of them) That was easy. I'm free! Free! (police chase him)
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward. Thank Neptune you're here. I found this baby all alone. But he wasn't really alone, he was with Plankton! And he's not a baby! It's Mr. Krabs! Plankton turned into an infant so he could steal the Krabby Patty formula! What do we do, Squidward?
Squidward: I don't know about you, but I'm going on my coffee break. A very long coffee break.
(scene cuts to the Chum Bucket)
Plankton: ...and then that sponge called the cops! That's just not cricket. Now I'll never be a tyrranical overlord.
Karen: Do I have to tell you how to do everything? Next time spray SpongeBob too.
Karen: Listen carefully. Spray.
Plankton: Now you're just talking gibberish. What I really need is to spray Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob.
Karen: (sighs) That's just what I...
Plankton:(interuppts) Na, na, I don't want to hear anymore of your loony schemes Karen.(Plankton jumps off chair) I've got work to do! (cuts to Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: Aw, what's wrong, Mr. Baby Krabs? Are you thirsty? (gives him some milk and he stops crying) That's it, drink up! (Krabs spits the bottle out of his mouth and he continues to cry) Okay, maybe you're hungry? How about a nice hot Krabby Patty? (flicks it away and continues to cry) Yikes, not even a Krabby Patty helps. How about a stack of twenties?
Plankton: (comes in when Mr. Krabs is smelling the money) Hands in the air! (Both obey.)
Plankton: That's right, SpongeBob, I'm back! And you won't stop me this time. (Sprays both, but Mr. Krabs turns into an adult, and SpongeBob turns into a baby) What? SpongeBob's a baby but Krabs is back to normal? (sprays again) It seems a second dose acts as an antidote! One squirt equals baby, two squirts equals adult! (sprays both of them once, and they come back to normal) Or is it three squirts for baby, and four squirts for adults. Barnacles, I've run out of gas!
Mr. Krabs: Ahem!
Plankton: Krabs! Nice diaper. (Mr. Krabs is about to throw him) Hold on, hold on! (throws him. cut to Plankton flying in the air) Yes, I've got it!
Mr. Krabs: (checking the mailbox) There'd better be something other than bills in here. (Plankton comes out) Plankton!
Mr. Krabs: (running back in the Krusty Krab) Ahh! I can't tolerate your stinky gas!
Miss Shell: That makes two of us.
Dennis: I don't do it on purpose!
Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me, Plankton! Never! Ooh...another penny! Come to papa! Now were we doing?
Plankton: This! (sprays him)
Plankton: What's the matter, baby? You gonna cry? (Mr. Krabs is turned into a senior citizen) What the heck happened to you? This isn't baby gas! It's senior citizen spray!
Mr. Krabs: Eh? What was that, sonny?
Plankton: Out of my way, Methusela! You're old and useless. (SpongeBob comes out of nowhere)
SpongeBob: Hold it right there! Old people are out greatest natural resource! I salute you, elder citizenry!
Plankton: I'm getting old listening to this. Let's try this again! (sprays the gas on SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: I remember when a quarter used to cost a nickel.(laughs weakly)
Plankton: This baby gas is worthless! At least you're way too old to stop me from stealing a Krabby Patty!
SpongeBob: What was that, sonny?
Plankton: It'll take more time to explain than you have left.
Mr. Krabs: He's got the Krabby Patty! Catch him!
SpongeBob: Catch who?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Gesundheit.
Plankton: Victory is mine! (shaken by the sound of walkers)
SpongeBob: Come back here, you little whippersnapper!
Mr. Krabs: You kids get off my lawn! Whew! Ooh, boy. I'll catch up with you, boy!
SpongeBob: I'm catching up with my knitting.
Mr. Krabs: (hatches an idea) That's it! Knit, little nitwit!
Plankton: That was almost too easy. (is caught in a net) No! I demand you geezers release me!
Mr. Krabs: Right after the party. The piñata party.
Senior Citizens: That's for calling us old.
Plankton: Hey, quit it!
Citizen: I want candy!
(back at the Chum Bucket)
Plankton: (mumbling)Of course! The final ingredient I'm lacking! It's so simple yet so evil! And I know just where to get it.
(cut to the Barg'n Mart)
Plankton: Excuse me, what isle did you get that from?
Shubie: You mean the Kelp-O?
Plankton: No, that thing! The ugly drippy smelly thing.
Shubie: Are you talking about my baby, creep? (Chases Plankton with her cart. She ends up running over him)
Plankton: Ow, ow, ow! (gasps) Baby powder? This could be just what I need! Hey, buddy, is this made of real or artificial baby? (The Pink Fish runs over Plankton again)Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Plankton: (Cut to Plankton back in his lab. He is pouring gas into small bombs) That powdered baby did the trick. Now my baby gas can't possibly fail!
Karen:(sarcastically) Just like all your plans that "couldn't possibly fail?"
Plankton: What is it now, Karen?
Karen: I'm saying you should test your gas before you come running there all willy nilly!
Plankton: That's an excellent idea. And I know just the guinea pig! (grabs the pack and points it at Karen)
Karen: (gasps) Plankton, don't you dare! (sprays her and a calculator falls to the ground)
Plankton: Karen! Speak to me!
(cut to the Krusty Krab, where old Mr. Krabs is drinking a soda)
Plankton: Everyone say your ABC's! (sprays two people, who start crying) Now when you turn into babies, you stay babies! (sprays more people) Hey, Krabs, catch! (He turns into a baby. Old SpongeBob comes out of the kitchen)
SpongeBob: What's wrong, little feller? (he is turned into a baby, and both cry)
(cut to a ceiling scene of the Krusty Krab, where there is a chaos. Cut to the bathroom doors, with a baby next to it. Squidward enters, along with a gas bomb. The doors open and he turns into a baby. Patrick is also turned into a baby)
Plankton: My moment of triumph! (slips on drool) What the? Oh, gross! I command you to stop drooling on me!
Mr. Krabs: Goo!
Plankton: (Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton and starts shaking him) Put me down! Stop it! I'm an adult!
(SpongeBob starts biting him. he releases him and he lands in Patrick's diaper. Mr. Krabs is then seen sucking the Krabby Patty secret formula)
Plankton: Huh? I don't believe it! The Krabby Patty Formula! He's teething on it! Give it here, you big stupid baby!
(Mr. Krabs bashes Plankton with the bottle)
Plankton: Ouch! (Baby krabs hits him 2 times) I've got it! Just like taking candy from a baby! Get it, Krabs? I'm taking candy from you! (Baby SpongeBob starts playing with the gas) Hey! What are you doing? (the gas releases and it sprays Plankton) Uh-oh.
(Plankton shrinks as the bottle squashed him and now he's inside a gray ameoba field)
Baby Plankton: Ahem! (puts hands over privates) Mama's evil little genius needs a diaper!