Episode Transcript: Atlantis SquarePantis
Characters SpongeBob Patrick Lord Royal Highness Squidward Sandy Mr. Krabs Plankton Guards Patchy the Pirate Potty the Parrot Dialogue
 Patchy's Segment Part 1; Encino is ruined
Patchy: Let's go! (Patchy honks) Hey, kids. Rush hour traffic here in Encino is a real bringdown. Some music should soothe me jangled nerve. At least me in-dash-hi-fi-still works. (Patchy breaks his radio) Oh! Me ultra rare Frampton Comes Alive 8 Track destroyed! And I'm gonna miss the new SpongeBob cartoon if this traffic doesn't move soon! (Patchy cries) (Patchy's cell phone rings) Who's calling? Yes, Patchy, here, start talking.
Potty: Hey, Patchy, the New SpongeBob cartoon's about to start. Where are you, brawk?
Patchy: Stuck on the 101. Uh, be a dear and record it for me, will you?
Potty: Oh, I threw that old Betamax machine in the garbage, brawk!
Patchy: You what?!!
Potty: Oh, calm down, beardy.
Patchy: Potty, you know how important this cartoon is to me! (Someone honks at him) Do you mind?! I'm trying to talk to my parrot! Sorry, Potty. Just some landlubber. (dial tone rings) Potty? Hello, hello, hello, hello? (groans) Dropped again. (closes his phone) Curse this traffic...! Whew! (grunts) Ahh, home at last. What the? (His eyes break the sunglasses)Encino... it's gone. Noooooooooooooooo! (cries) You know, kids, this kind of reminds Patchy of a old story, another story about a lost city. why don't you check it out? No..... Encino.
 SpongeBob's Segment Part 1; Going to Atlantis
(SpongeBob and Patrick are blowing bubbles.)
Patrick: A beautiful specimen, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Hurry Patrick, hurry! (Patrick takes a photo of the bubble, but misses) How's it look, buddy? Ready for the old scrapbook?
Patrick: More like the scrap-heap. They never come out right! Oh well, let's try again.
SpongeBob: OK Patrick, this one's gonna be my masterpiece.
Patrick: I'm ready. (SpongeBob blows a bubble in his image.)
SpongeBob Bubble: Hi, Patrick!
Patrick: (Misses a photo of the bubble) Oh, I missed it again! Well, this darn camera isn't fast enough. (Throws camera to the ground and stamps it to submission.)
SpongeBob: Hold on a second, Patrick! It's not the poor camera's fault you can't get a photo.
Patrick: It's not?
SpongeBob: No, it is the very nature of the fragile bubble.
Patrick: It IS?
SpongeBob: Yes it is my friend, allow me to demonstrate.
Song: The Bubble Song
SpongeBob: The sun must set at the end of every day. And the curtain must fall at the end of every play. And every little bubble ever blown must someday, POP!
Patrick: Like presents, on Christmas day it doesn't seem to stay. Or a cheese souffle it doesn't last all day.
SpongeBob: I will try again. To blow a bubble that will last all day.
[SpongeBob begins to blow a giant bubble, it captures them both and floats away]
Patrick: Um, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Not now, Patrick, this bubble's gonna break all records!
Patrick: Well I hope it doesn't break until we get a bit closer to the ground.
SpongeBob: Huh? (looks down) What have I done!? (The two start screaming as the bubble drifts into a cave.)
SpongeBob: We'll never get out of here!
(The bubble is popped by a jagged point on a half of a broken amulet)
Patrick: What happened?
SpongeBob: (pointing to broken amulet) That's what happened.
Patrick: Whoa, what is it? It looks really old.
SpongeBob: Antis. What do think that means, Patrick?
Patrick: Antis... antis... SquarePantis! Probably belonged to your ancient ancestors. (Picks up the half of the amulet) SpongeBob SquarePantis, you must wear the ancient crest of your ancestors for it is your birth right! (shoves into SpongeBob's face)
SpongeBob: My birth right!? (Falls) Ow ooh, Ow ooh ow! Let's take this to the Bikini Bottom museum, they'll know what it is!
Mr. Krabs: (Whistles) Oo...uh...beautiful day for standing outside a museum doin' nothin', huh?.
Security Guard: Whatever you say.
Mr Krabs: (Mr Krabs pretends to be administration) Hello there. Welcome to the museum! That'll be three dollars.
Old Lady: But I thought it was free Tuesday.
Mr Krabs: No no no. Today's Monday, otherwise I wouldn't be wearing this 'I hate Mondays' shirt.
Old Lady: Good point.
Mr. Krabs: Enjoy the artifacts! (To self) Don't stand in one place too long, people might mistake you for one. (Hears SpongeBob and Patrick laughing) SpongeBob! (Hides, then re-emerges when SpongeBob and Patrick go into the museum) Phew, that was a close one. (Old lady points him out to a security guard then Mr. Krabs runs inside)
Squidward: Neptune's Ascension. The only surviving painting from the great lost city of Atlantis. This is just what the doctor ordered, Squiddy. Spending your day studying the Atlantean masters. And best of all, no Sponge- (SpongeBob and Patrick run in excitedly, knocking Squidward over.) AAAH! Oh, would you two watch where you're- (Gasps) What is that? What are you doing with the Amulet of Atlantis?
SpongeBob: We were just-
Squidward: You're going to steal it!?
SpongeBob: No Squidward, we'd never-
Squidward: This is a new low, even for YOU TWO. (removes amulet half from SpongeBob.) Lucky for you, I was here today. Stealing artifacts could land you in the stony loneso- (looks at the half-amulet on display and the half he took from SpongeBob) You boobs found the missing half to the Atlantean Amulet!?
SpongeBob: What's an Atlantean omelet?
Squidward: AMULET, NOT OMELET!!!! It's the key to untold riches!
Mr Krabs:(shoves SpongeBob and Patrick and faces Squidward) Did somebody say untold riches!?
Squidward: Yes Eugene. The streets are lined with gold, and the street lights are made with diamonds.
Mr Krabs: DIAMOND LIGHT BULBS!!!??? I wonder what they make the money out of?
Squidward: For reasons unknown, this great city disappeared one day, but no ruins were ever found. (walks by mural with Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, and Patrick) All the inventions that you take for granted, were given to us by the Atlanteans. Their advances in art, financial wealth and weaponry were eons ahead of their time!
SpongeBob: (points to bubble) Why is this bubble painted on the mural?
Squidward: That's just the oldest living bubble.
SpongeBob: The oldest living bubble alive? Behold Patrick-the oldest living bubble!
Patrick: This is the most beautiful bubble I've ever seen!
Squidward: That's just a painting you quarter-wit! Ha, quarter-wit, (looks at Mr. Krabs) it's less than half. The real bubble lives in Atlantis, some darn old bubble hails in comparison to the art...
Mr Krabs: Money...
Sandy:(suddenly arrives out of nowhere) And science, don't forget science. What's all the hubbub boys?
Squidward: These two chowder-brains found the missing half of the Amulet.
Sandy: THE AMULET OF ATLANTIS!!!!???? Legend says, that when the two halves are joined, the path to Atlantis is opened! What ya all waitin' on? Let's hitch them two doggies up! (Squidward prepares to connect the two halves of the amulet) Go on Squidward!
Mr Krabs: Hurry up Squidward, that money ain't gettin' any younger! [Squidward connects the two halves and a bright light activates]
Sandy: (In Disbelief)
SpongeBob: Hoo hoo yeah, hoo hoo hoo!
[The Amulet shoots a beam at the ceiling and a bus drops from the resulting hole]
Squidward: The magical path to Atlantis is a van?!
Mr Krabs: Nice hot rod flames!
Patrick: [Amulet spins] What's it doing?
[Amulet lifts, flies, and attaches itself to the bus. The display reads Atlantis. The door opens.)
Sandy: Well, holly-wally ding-dang-doo. Would ya' look at that!? Take a gander, y'all!
Squidward: Fabulous decor!
Mr Krabs: Quite a vessel, but who's manning it?
Robot: Greetings. Welcome aboard the Sea Ship Atlantis. This is a non-stop trip, so please take a seat, relax, and we'll be on our way.
Mr. Krabs: Bet there's some loose change in here!
SpongeBob: Ah, so this is what luxury feels like.
Squidward: Ah, what I wouldn't give for a foot-rub. (Mechanical arms come out of floor at command and gives Squidward a foot-rub)
Robot: Attention passengers, regretfully we lack the fuel needed for forward motion.
(Cut to a gas station. Mr. Krabs tries to fuel the bus up, but finds no visible gas tank.)
Mr Krabs: (To Robot) Is this some kind of joke? Where's the gas tank?
Robot: We Atlanteans find the use of fossil fuels to be counter-intuitive, and have developed an alternative source we call "song".
Mr. Krabs: Huh?
Robot: The engine of this vessel is fueled by song. The more you sing of your desires, the closer to Atlantis you will get. Let us commence singing.
Squidward: Does that make any sense?
SpongeBob: No, but I'm gained for singing any day!
Song: Fueling the Bus
SpongeBob: (in song) Sing? Sing a song? A song of wanting to move along! To a land where all our dre-e. (The bus lifts but drops when SpongeBob hits a wrong note) [normally] Whoops, sorry. (in song) To a land where all our dreeeeeams, can finally come true. A bubble I long for, that so eludes me, but soon enough I will seeeeeeeeeeeeeee............
Mr Krabs: Well that's just splendid boy! A land where it rains money! More than you can spend. With fives and tens and fifties and I'll want to be your friend.
Plankton: Ha ha ha! Such a valiant desire! He he he! The lost weapons of Atlantis-the most advanced of all time. As soon as this dopey song is done I plan to make them miiiiine!
Sandy: Did y'all hear something? I can hardly believe that there's a lost city where having smarts is more important-than being pretty! With all their advanced science, and my painfully large mind!
Sandy #2: [Clone] I bet we can figure out how to make wondrous things, like melons with edible rinds!
Squidward: As a connoisseur of fine art, I'm proud to say! I've always seen things in my own special way! 'Art'-lantis with their glorious aesthetics, I'll cop their style in a while- my art will be prophetic!
Patrick: I'm Patrick, I'm Patrick, Patrick-Patrick-Patrick! And I like um, uuuuh, (normal) I don't know what I like. (They start falling out of the sky)
Robot: Warning, you have run out of song fuel.
Squidward: Hey look, it's Atlantis.
Everyone: AAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Bus crashes)
Squidward: You dimwits haven't even been here two minutes and you've already messed up someone's topiary garden.
Mr. Krabs: (Everyone walks to a castle) Go on, SpongeBob. Ring the bell.
SpongeBob: Ring for the King, huh? (Rings the bell. A carpet rolls out from the doors ahead. Lord Royal Highness emerges.)
Lord Royal Highness: Welcome to Atlantis. I've been expecting you. (trips and falls down the really long stairway. Gets back up.) Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Lord Royal Highness, but my friends call me LRH.
SpongeBob: My friends call me SpongeBob. I'm here to see the oldest bubble.
LRH: Yes, of course.
Mr. Krabs: What a ripoff! This street ain't gold!
LRH: Oh, if it's gold you want, you'll find it in our vault.
Mr. Krabs: I'm Eugene. I like money.
LRH: Yes, I can see that. Pleasure to meet you. Come, I'll give you the grand tour of our Atlantean fortress. I'm so glad you're all here...
Plankton: They're gone. Now to get to those weapons... (tries to open glovebox door but fails.) Trapped! Ok, what do I have to work with here? (picks up flashlight, turns it on and sees a book in front of him.) What's this? Owner's manual!? Looks like I've found my escape route! (Laughs diabolically, crawls out via exhaust pipe and falls) Ow!
LRH: For centuries, we Atlanteans spent, nay, wasted our talents and energy building the most sophisticated weaponry to defend ourselves from invaders. But we abandoned the idea of warfare long ago and now all these weapons gather dust behind this locked door as an example of what must be done if one wishes to live in harmony with all creatures of this, or any, world.
Mr. Krabs: (sighs) Eh, harmony shmarmony. When do we get to see the treasure?!
LRH: But of course, follow me.
Mr. Krabs: Comin' through, boys! (Everybody frowns at Mr. Krabs when he passes in front of them rudley)
Plankton: These Atlanteans leave a room full of the most advanced weaponry unguarded? No wonder they got lost. (Squeezes under door) Oh, my! There will be no one to stop me this time! (Laughs diabolically)
 Patchy's Segment Part 2; Encino gone in a flash
Patchy: Well, bad news, kids. Encino's still lost. Oh! But, at least I got me radio fixed! (Patchy snaps his fingers while listening to it, then, it explodes). Well, enjoy the rest of the show.
 SpongeBob's Segment Part 2; At the Money Hall
LRH: It is both an honor and a pleasure to welcome you all to Atlantis. We haven't had visitors in quite some time. You see being a lost city has certain disadvantages, which I digress. Now if you'll just follow me, I'll show you our grandest achievements.
(Mr. Krabs grabs Squidward) Mr Krabs: Squidward! You told me the streets were paved with gold! Now, that street light better be a 600 carot diamond or else! (Starts unscrewing a light bulb while standing on Squidward) Hold still, Squidward!
Squidward: (straining) You're standing on my neck!
Mr. Krabs: (finds out light bulb is an ordinary one) What!? (falls)
LRH: Are you alright?
Mr. Krabs: Yes, I feel odd. (acts wierdly)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, are you ok?
Mr. Krabs: I know that smell anywhere. Me pockets! They be smelling loot! (He smells money, and his pockets bark and direct him to the Treasure Room, the pockets eat the money)
LRH: Those pockets of yours really have a thing for treasure.
Mr. Krabs: These are me hounds to me pants.
LRH: What you see here is a glimpse of ancient Atlantean history. Long ago we abandoned our obsession with wealth to focus on the pursuit of knowledge. So help yourself to as much as your pockets can carry.
Mr. Krabs: As much as me pockets can carry?
Song: Mr. Krabs' Song
Mr. Krabs (Singing): Oh, if I'd only known when I woke up today, I'd have stopped at me tailors along the way, and had ten more pockets put on me pants, 'cause I think I hear a money avalanche! (yodels) Look at all this cash, hey, look at all this money! I hope me heart can take it!
Doctor (Not Singing): Clear! (Shocks Krabs)
Mr. Krabs (Singing): I'm alright, sonny! Industrial accidents can make quite a mess. Unless you fall into a money press. Oh, make me into money, Mr. wonderful machine, I always knew that me true color was green! Oh, ever since I was a little kid, I dreamed of such a place, yes I did! With mountains of money, and rivers of cash. And a pool of coins to make a splash! Oh, I'll open up a Krusty Krab with patties made of money. They'd be delicious, and expensive, and taste like golden honey! Money and gold and treasure untold! And all of it for me!
LRH: Mr. Krabs! We're off to see the bubble! Would you care to join us?
Mr. Krabs: Are you kiddin'? I just got here! (Dives into the money)
LRH: Very well, then. Off we go.
Patrick: (Under breath) SpongeBob, when are we gonna see the bubble?
SpongeBob: Patrick! Shh!
LRH: Don't dally, lads. We don't want to be left behind, do we?
SpongeBob: (Salute) No, sir! Come on along, Patrick!
Sandy: You know, LRH, I was born with a healthy scientific curiosity and I was wondering if I could get a peek at some of your scientific achievements?
LRH: Of course, Miss Cheeks. Here we are, the combination of all of our technology. I give you the Atlantean Hall, of Science. (Opens the door, a lot of futuristic gadgets are seen)
Sandy: Hoppin' acorns! Look at all this hi-tech gear! (Looks at one invention) What does this gizmo do?
LRH: It's a bio-mass converting device. It can take any house-hold object, (puts a comb on the platform, it goes in) this comb for example, and turn it into say, ice cream! (Presses a button and ice cream pops out) Would anyone like to try it?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh! Oh! Me! Me!
LRH: Go ahead! (Hands them spoons, they eat)
SpongeBob: Mmm! Comb flavored!
Sandy: What else can it turn things into?
LRH: Actually it can only turn things into ice cream. We haven't worked that bug out, yet. But I can show you the most amazing/fantasic device created by Atlantean hands. (Shows them a big machine) Behold. This grand machine allows the user to be broken down into nano-stature, enabling them to battle germs hand-to-hand.
Sandy: How's it work?
LRH: Please take a seat and I'll explain. (They do so, and metal gears go on their heads) Now, here's how it works--
SpongeBob: Hey cool! (He pushes the center button and disappears into thin air)
Patrick: Where'd SpongeBob go?
LRH: Right now his molecules are being broken down into data. Which is assembled into this computer, and stored on these tapes. Then reassembled on a much smaller scale--
SpongeBob: Someone help me!
LRH: And finally passes through this tube and into this tank which contains every element known to-- (looks closer) Oh, dear heavens! It looks like our scientists were working on a very agressive case of the sniffles. He could be in trouble!
Patrick: Don't worry, SpongeBob! I'm coming to help you! (Pushes the center button and disappears like SpongeBob)
Squidward: Okay, I've seen enough. Let me outta this thing! (Pushes the center button rapidly hoping it will get the gear off his head, but he disappears and goes into an 8-bit game) What's going on here? I-- oh no! Ah!(He sees a runny nose)
SpongeBob: Squidward, don't make any sudden movements! (The nose sneezes out four germs and Squidward falls over, jumps rapidly, and runs)
Squidward: Help, aah! (SpongeBob and Patrick follow, the germs chase them, and Sandy beams in)
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: HELP, SANDY!!!
Sandy: Sounds like them critters is in trouble! (The nose puts SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward in it, and the germs guard Sandy from getting to them)
Sandy: Hold on, fellas! I'll be there soon, as soon as I send these critters to their doom! (A title screen shows like a Nintendo game)
Song: Sandy's Song
Sandy (Singing): Look out, germs. The end is here, Your days are numbered, 'cause Sandy's here! I'll get these germs, and make 'em pay, with some good old fashioned karate. (Hi-yah!) If I borrow some elements from the periodic table I can mix up a brew that is sure to disable any virus, bug, or sniffle that steps into my path. And make them feel my mi-cro-sco-pic wrath!!!!! Hi-yah! (Hits the nose with a submarine and defeats it, the gang flies out, they all cheer)
LRH: Well, shall we continue on with the rest of the tour?
Sandy: Y'all head out without me. (Hits the center button, going in again)
LRH: Well then, good luck. Have fun. We'll see you at dinner. (to SpongeBob) Your friend Sandy certainly is an exciteable one.
Squidward: Somehow I knew I'd get stuck with you yahoos the longest.
(In the heater vent behind Squidward is Plankton, who chuckles as he found the weapons)
Song: Plankton's Song
Plankton (Singing): Oh, what a beautiful sight! Weapons as far as the eye can see. But which one will be right for me? How do I pick? Which one will do the trick? Which is best to guarantee eternal rest? So many weapons! How do I choose? Look at this one with a beatiful fuse! And with this one I couldn't lose. That one will surely give them the blues..... And this one here matches my shoes! Come on, Plankton, just pick one and forget about your shoes! Eeny, meeny, miney moe, I pick you, now let's go! (Chooses a huge tank, cut to LRH giving the tour)
Squidward: This stuff is wonderful and all but when are we going to see some real Atlantean culture?
LRH: Gentlemen? What is art?
SpongeBob: Oh, oh! I know, I know! (Squidward shoves SpongeBob so he can fit in frame)
Squidward: I thought you'd never ask! Art is the conscious arrangement of elements in a manner that effects a sense of beauty.
LRH: Not even close! (Squidward looks shocked) Art is what happens when you learn to dream. (Hands SpongeBob a blue paint brush) Go ahead. Dream a little. (He hits the wall and it magically turns into SpongeBob's door)
SpongeBob: It looks like my front door!
LRH: Behold! The Hall of Arts! (He opens the door, Squidward's mouth opens, they step in)
Squidward: Incredible! (He cries) The creativity! The artistry! (He walks by a painting) This painting is so realistic, it looks like you could step straight into it.
LRH: And you can! (He grabs Squidward and throws him in the painting)
Squidward: This place is amazing! (Steps into other paintings)
Song: Squidward's Song
Squidward (Singing): Isn't this great, isn't this neat, I'm a living work of art from my head to my feet! From the very first drawings on walls in caves, art has been what the heart and soul craves! So pick up a brush, a pencil or pen. If you don't like this one, paint it again! From now on please call me Sir Real. (surreal) I can wait for your impression to congeal. Take it from an undersea renaissance man. I'd even look great on the side of your van! Any way you carve it, I am art and art is me. Ask your mama or your dada to tell you about the uh, schism. Between minimalism and cubism. My personality may be of the cynical type. But I've finally found something that lives up to the hype. I can say honestly and with great certainty, that Atlantis is where I want to spend, eternity (holds note, song over)
Atlantean: Hey can you not sing? I'm trying to model here.
Atlantean Painter: Now hold on, Nando. Why don't you take five. I'm really digging this squid's form. (The other Atlantean sighs and walks away)
Squidward: Look's like I'll be here inspiring these Atlantean art makers with my beauty. You guys go on ahead.
SpongeBob: Okay. Bye, Squidward! (They leave, and Squidward poses)
LRH: Now this section of town is known for it's advances in the science of fondue cooking.
SponeBob: Excuse me, sir. This tour's been great and all but uh, can we see the bubble now?
LRH: Do excuse me. Most folks don't stay with the tour this long. Of course you can. First, remember this. This bubble is over one million years old. It was brought here when the first Atlanteans colonized this place. Deftly hand carried over billions of light years from our home planet. It is our people's most beloved and treasured ancient relic. But most importanly, remember to... HAVE FUN!!! (Points to where it is, and they go in)
SpongeBob: There it is, Patrick!
SpongeBob and Patrick: The World's Oldest Living Bubble! Whoo! (They land on the safe keeping tube)
SpongeBob: Look at it, Patrick. So ancient. So floaty. It is the most beautiful wrinkled up, dusty old bubble I've ever seen!
Patrick: Like a delicate air raisin! (They slide off)
LRH: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make ready for tonight's dinner. So I'm just going leave you two friendly strangers alone with our most beloved ancient and fragile Atlantean relic. Join us in the dining hall when you've had an eye-full.
SpongeBob: Thank you, Mr. Lord Royal Highness sir. (They stare shove their face in the glass) Just look at it, Patrick. Ah, the stories this bubble could tell. I just wish we could get a closer look (he leans in but the glass moves) Patrick! Get the--
Patrick: Oh golly! Oh, I don't know how much longer I can hold this! (They manage get it back up, after a close call when it lands against the glass on SpongeBob's side and bounces off with no damage, and laugh in victory)
SpongeBob: Whoo, that was a close one, buddy!
Patrick: Yeah. We almost popped the most prized possesion of all Atlantiseans! (Laughs)
SpongeBob: Boy, that would have been our greatest blunder without a doubt! But we should go before something bad does happen.
Patrick: Ooh! Let's get a picture for our scrapbooks before leave.
SpongeBob: Great idea, Patrick!
Both: Cheese! (Patrick's flash pops the bubble)
SpongeBob: (With teeth closed) Patrick, did you hear something?
Patrick: (With teeth closed) I sort of a popping sound?
SpongeBob: Uh-huh. (They look at each other screaming at the empty space and their skin peels off, and SpongeBob's eyes land in his mouth, cut to the gang at dinner)
LRH: So sorry I'm late. The tour ran a little long. So, how are you all enjoying our beloved city?
Squidward: I'm never leaving this place. I've learned more about painting in a few hours here than I did in four years of community college. (Shows LRH a painting)
LRH: Absolutley marvelous! And Eugene, I assume the hall of treasure was everything you hoped for? (Mr. Krabs is brain-washed by the money) And Sandra, how did you find our laboratories?
Sandy: They are just amazing! I used your invention room to make this!
LRH: Splendid. What does it do?
Sandy: I'll show you. (Pushes a button and the food goes directly in her) Now I can eat underwater without removing my helmet! This is just the beginning! I should have a cure for the common cold up and running by tomorrow afternoon with your hi-tech lab! (SpongeBob and Patrick run in nervous)
LRH: SpongeBob, Patrick, tell me. How did you enjoy our rarest and most prized posession?
SpongeBob: (Gulps) We have to go back to Bikini Bottom now!
LRH: Ahahaha! Come. Enjoy the best Atlantean cuisine has to offer before you leave.
(SpongeBob and Patrick shake)
Squidward: What is wrong with you two morons?
SpongeBob: We have to go home now!
Squidward: Why would you want to leave a paradise like Atlantis?
SpongeBob: Because, uh, Gary misses me? (Cuts to SpongeBob's house, Gary is having a party with other snails)
Patrick: WE DESTROYED YOUR MOST PRIZED POSESSION! (Shuts mouth)
LRH: (Pauses) Ahahaha! If there's one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it's a healthy dose of dark humor!
SpongeBob: It's not a joke, we burst the bubble! (Sandy and Squidward gasp)
LRH: Haha. That's not the real bubble. It's just a prop for the tourists. (Holds up the bubble in a bottle) This is the real deal.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! (Patrick takes a flash and it pops)
LRH: (Snarl) Summon the Atlantean Royal Guard! (They come and grunt. SpongeBob and Patrick shake in fear of what they have done.) Sieze these hostile bubble poppers!
Sandy: Don't just stand there! Move! (She pushes them, they attack with a trident, pickaxe, and flail.)
Mr. Krabs: Can't you go any faster, Sandy?
Sandy: Maybe, if y'all would move your feet!
Mr. Krabs: Never mind! Just keep doing what you're doing!
Sandy: [Groans] (the guards shoot balls at them and Sandy grabs Patrick and flings him at them like a Ninja would) Come on, Patrick! (They shoot and Sandy uses SpongeBob as a shield)
SpongeBob: (Laughs) That tickles!
Sandy: Hang in there, little buddy. (Grabs Squidward and puts their shooting balls on his tentacles and shoots them at the guards, then uses Krabs)
LRH: Don't let them get away! (The guards follow the gang outside but they all confront Plankton's tank and Plankton aims at them while laughing evily)
 Patchy's Segment Part 3
 Part 1; Patchy Melts
Patchy: This is the end of Patchy. No water, no food, and still no Encino.
Patchy: Here come the vultures the pick me bones! (Potty flies up)
Patchy: Shiver me timbers! It's Potty! I wonder what parrot tastes like...
Patchy: Come back here!
Patchy: Uh-oh. Here come the hallucinations.
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob laughs) Patchy, it's me. SpongeBob SquarePants. (Patchy is excited, and then he cries)
SpongeBob: Don't lose hope. Everything will be all right when you get into Encino.
Patchy: B-B-But Encino is gone.
SpongeBob: It's not gone, if you believe.
Patchy: Believe, believe. (Falls asleep)
 Part 2; Encino is Back
Patchy: (gasps) Welcome to Encino! It's back!
Patchy: (Hugs it) SpongeBob was right! All I had to do was believe. (laughs)
You gotta believe. It was out of sight. You gotta believe. I'm back in Encino. You gotta believe. Everything's all right. The sky above, and ground below. Great to be back in Encino. It was lost, some time ago, just glad to be back home. You gotta believe. I'm back in Encino. You gotta believe. Everything's all right. You gotta believe. I'm back in Encino. You gotta believe. Everything's all right. Ohh! Ohh! You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You gotta believe. It was out of sight. You gotta believe. I'm back in Encino. You got... (record scratches)
 Part 3; Encino is gone
Patchy: (Potty brawks, and then, pokes Patchy) Ow! Ow!
Patchy: It was all a hallucination. Encino's still gone!
Patchy: Ooh, a sandwich! Potty, you're a lifesaver.
Patchy: Oh...! Potty, you know I don't like mayo!
Patchy: (To a vulture) Here you want some? Go on. Take it.
Patchy: I don't like the mayonnaise, you know.
Patchy: Once it gets above 130, 135, the mayonnaise gets kind of grody, you know.
 SpongeBob's Segment Part 3; The End of Atlantis
Plankton: (Laughs evily) Cower to me, fools! I have commandeered the most powerful weapon in the Atlantean arsenal! Now bow before the new king of Atlantis and prepare to taste my wrath! (He stomps on the switch but is too small to make it work) Yeah! Huh? Uh, uh I mean, uh, "PREPARE TO TASTE MY WRATH!!!!!!" (He stomps on it rapidly, harder) Oh, you! (Grabs rock, struggles) Prepare to taste my wrath! (Throws the rock on the switch and it works)
Computer: LAUNCH SEQUENCE DEPLOYED! (The tank shakes and Plankton laughs evily, everyone gasps and they hold each other, it blows out ice cream, a cow moos, SpongeBob and Patrick eat the ice cream)
Patrick: Plankton's wrath tastes like ice cream.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Thanks, Plankton.
Plankton: Ice cream? It shoots ICE CREAM!!!??? (He gets out) Over-sized ice cream maker! (Kicks it) Yah! Ouch! Ow!
LRH: Look! A talking speck! This talking speck will make a fantastic (looks at SpongeBob and Patrick) replacement for our recently deflated national treasure! (Looks at Plankton and baby talk) Won't you, little fella?
Plankton: I'LL DESTROY ALL OF YOU-- (LRH squeezes him)
LRH: Amazing! This is so much better than that dusty old bubble! (Plankton is in the cage)
Plankton: You haven't seen the last of me! When I get out of here I'll hunt you all down like a pack of-- (someone take's a picture) Hey! Can't you read! (Points at sign) No flash photography! (The gang is getting on the van)
LRH: So nice to meet you all. I hope you have a safe journey back home. And do come back any time.
SpongeBob: So long. And thanks for the tour. (Everyone is in, and LRH closes the door, takes the amulet off the van and gives it to a guard)
LRH: Dispose of this quickly. We can't survive anymore visitors like these.
Guard: (Salutes) Sir, yes sir. (He runs to the dump and throws it in there, LRH waves good-bye as they go off)
LRH: I thought sponges were supposed to make life easier. (Cut to bus)
Song: Goodbye, Atlantis
SpongeBob: Goodbye, Atlantis. But we really have to go. Back to a little town, that is the greatest place I know-oh-oh-oh-oh! Back to Bikini Bottom! I can hardly wait!
Mr. Krabs: But what about the treasure? It was really great!
SpongeBob: I love Bikini Bottom! It's where my Gary is!
Sandy: But Atlantis had that science stuff at which I was a whiz!
SpongeBob: Soon I'll see the Krusty Krab. Where I'm happily employed!
Patrick: But Atlantis had the oldest bubble which I cruelly destroyed!
SpongeBob: You can't beat Bikini Bottom! No place is so nice!
Squidward: But Atlantis was a fabulous, artistic paradise!
SpongeBob: Sorry, Squidward, but it's the end of our Atlantean vacation!
Squidward: And back to my depressing life of quiet desperation.
SpongeBob: Good-bye, Atlantis. We're Bikini Bottom bound!
Squidward: Please turn this bus around!
SpongeBob: We had our fun!
Patrick: We sure did!
SpongeBob: But now we're done.
Sandy: And I'm bummed.
SpongeBob: We're on our way!
Sandy: Can't we stay?
SpongeBob: So now we say good-bye!
Mr. Krabs: I think I'm gonna cry!
Patrick: Me too!
SpongeBob: Good-bye, Atlantis. We're Bikini Bottom bound. There's no place like home!
Mr. Krabs: There's no place like Atlantis!
SpongeBob: I can't wait to get home.
Mr. Krabs: I don't wanna go back!
SpongeBob: We're Bikini Bottom bound!
Sandy: Please don't make us leave!
SpongeBob: We're Bikini Bottom bound!
Squidward: Stop saying that!
SpongeBob: I even love the sound!
All: Good-bye Atlantis!
SpongeBob: Bikini Bottom is the greatest place to be! I can--
All: Good-bye Atlantis!
 Patchy's Segment Part 4; Patchy returns
Patchy: Pretty good story, eh, kids?
Patchy: I found Encino.
Patchy: But, it's all tiny. Somebody must've...
Patchy: Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhhh!
Norblott Five's mother: Sorry, sir. Our son Norblott Five was messing around with his Shrink-a-tron again.
(The Tornado picks up Patchy and encino)
Patchy: No, no, no, no! I want Encino full size again!
Patchy: There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
Norblott Five's mother: Ok, hand it over, Norblott Five.
Norblott Five's mother: We'll fix your town, beardy.
Patchy: Arrr! Arrr! Arrrr! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh!
Patchy: Well, everything's back to the right size, eh, potty?
Patchy: Um, I'm a little busy right now, but, you, can stop by for your old pal Patchy.
Patchy: And some more SpongeBob SquarePants. Bye. Potty, let go of me.