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Episode Transcript: Picture Day
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Episode Article: Picture Day
[edit] Characters
[edit] Dialogue
(episode begins with Gary snoring until the alarm horn blows. SpongeBob's blanket flies off and it reveals a box for SpongeBob's body, with a fork on the box as nose, and 2 potatoes as the feet. SpongeBob comes on wearing underwear)
SpongeBob: (laughs) Nice try, (while holding a comb) "alarmy", but you got to get up pretty early to wake me up on (high-pitched voice) picture day!
Gary: (in disgust) Meow. (crawls under SpongeBob's blanket)
SpongeBob: Now, if you'll excuse me, Gary, I must go make myself (sparkles appear over him) picturesque. (cut to SpongeBob putting a vacuum on his face then using a rolling pin to make his face shine. Then he gets some red and blue paint to paint the stripes on his socks. Next, he rolls on some paint for his pants and uses a white crayon for his teeth they sparkle. Then, he puts on a wig and then he turns it into The Beatles’ hair style, then a Jamaican hairdo, which does not impress him. Then, he shaves it off) Perfect! I-I-I-I'm ready! Whoo-hoo! (walks away)
Gary: Meow. (SpongeBob walks out of his house humming, until a piece of seaweed flies onto him. He gasps as it leaves a green residue on his clothes)
SpongeBob: (walking back inside his house) Fine, not to worry, no problem. (Does the same steps with four stripes on his legs this time)
SpongeBob: (scares Gary who is under a blanket) I-I-I-I'm ready! Aaaaa...gain! (points to him)
Gary: Meeow?
SpongeBob: It's time to take a corrective approach. (pulls out an umbrella and walks out with it and sees Squidward walking out of his house in his pajamas to pick up a newspaper) Good morning, Squidward...I'd love to stop and chat right now, but it's picture day...(gets caught in a grabber arm by a garbage truck and it picks up SpongeBob and dips him in a trash mess inside it thinking he is a trash can and sets him down in a ugly, filthy, scummy mess. The truck drives off and Squidward laughs at SpongeBob and mocks him as SpongeBob vomits out a garbage bag. SpongeBob does the vacuum, rolling pin, etcetera before walking outside. He picks up his trash can and holds it right in front of him so that the garbage truck won't dip him in the garbage. This succeeds and SpongeBob runs off. Cut to Bikini Bottom) Still looking good Spongy, and Boating School is just around the corner. (sees that the crowd is screaming and running away. Harold runs up to him)
Harold: Take cover! The teenagers! They've been let out of school, and they're pelting us with balloons filled with... (gets hit with a balloon that leaves a red pile of goo on his back. He falls. SpongeBob tastes it)
SpongeBob: Ketchup?
Harold: Save yourself, kid! (A fish runs screaming) I'm finished! (SpongeBob sees teenagers with water balloons that are filled with ketchup, and he runs away while dodging them. He hides behind a dumpster, but there is a kid waiting for him with a ketchup bottle)
Teenager: (about to squirt SpongeBob) Gotcha!
SpongeBob: Wait, wait! Don't squirt! Please, you've got to spare me! I've got picture day today!
Teenager: Oh, pictures, huh? Well, let me help you with your makeup! Ha! (squirts ketchup at SpongeBob but SpongeBob blocks the ketchup shots with his tongue and he jumps away. He runs and encounters more teenagers running towards him, but then he notices a hot dog stand and hides on the top where the giant hot dog is posing as mustard)
SpongeBob: Well, I'm not sure how I did it, but I... (gets squirt with ketchup by an old man who missed his hot dog)
Old Man: Fiddlesticks. Missed again. (cut to SpongeBob changing again)
SpongeBob: And now, as an extra precaution to keep me looking shiny and new...(takes out a small bottle with a close-up view of it labeled "SPONGEGLOSS" and puts some on) No grime can penetrate the glossy sheen of (sparkles) Spooooonge Gloooooss. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob in Bikini Bottom leaving a imprint on a mailbox. He goes inside the mailbox and hides inside it. A fish walks by. He comes out of the mailbox and hides behind a building. Then he spots the Boating School) There it is. So close, and still so shiny. (the sun comes out and its beams reflect off the gloss, then to a boat's windshield, then into a truck driver's eyes who is driving a tanker truck. The truck driver screams and screeching is heard, he loses control and the truck overturns. The truck's tank bursts open and spills water on SpongeBob, making the gloss come off. He screams and calms down) Hey, it's just water! (another truck filled with stamps crashes and spills stamps all over SpongeBob) Stamps? (he tries taking them off but another truck crashes and spills oatmeal all over him) Oatmeal? (another truck filled with glue spills all over SpongeBob) Glue. (Scene shows that there are now four totaled tanker trucks. The trash go through a drain. Cut to SpongeBob taking a shower and brushing all the stuff off of him. Patrick is seen inside SpongeBob's bathroom)
Patrick: Hey, buddy. (shocking SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: (throws the brush away) Patrick, a little privacy?
Patrick: Oh, sorry, SpongeBob. I just came over to borrow some jelly. (holds a jar of jelly)
SpongeBob: Well, go ahead, but, I don't have time to play right now, I am late for picture day. And I just can't seem to get to school without being covered by unsightly debris. (sadly) If only I had a sealed barrier to protect me from the filth of the outside world.
Patrick: I have a solution. (puts the jar in his mouth and he licks up all the jelly)
SpongeBob: Ew!
Patrick: Ah. I have solved my hunger problem. (a star sparks on the jar)
SpongeBob: That's it! (jumps in the jar) This jelly jar will insulate me from the dirty dregs of Bikini Bottom. If you don't mind, Patrick, we don't have much time. (squeezes himself into the jar. Cut to Patrick runs to the Boating School with SpongeBob still in the jar)
Patrick: We're here! (stops, and thinks) Hey, what did I bring jelly for?
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick-- (is interrupted)
Patrick: Oh, yeah. (pulls out a taco on a plate) I was gonna put it on this peanut butter taco. (opens the jar)
SpongeBob: No, no, no, no, no, Patrick! I'm not jelly, I'm not jelly! (Patrick shakes the jar, and he is poured into the taco)
Patrick: Uh?! SpongeBob, get out of my taco! (SpongeBob is covered in peanut butter and the taco shell smears peanut butter all over him. He cries) What's the matter, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: (crying) Patrick, I just wanted to take a decent picture today. (sniffs) Because someday, I will graduate from Boating School! And I don't want to be remembered, as the guy covered in peanut butter and taco shells! (continues crying as Mrs. Puff comes out and sees SpongeBob)
Mrs. Puff: There you are. (takes SpongeBob inside. Patrick licks the taco shell. Meanwhile, the photographer is taking another lady's picture)
Photographer: Say cheese. (takes the picture. The lady walks off)
Mrs. Puff: (while carrying SpongeBob who is covered in peanut butter) And here's the last one. Now, just give a nice smile to the camera, SpongeBob. (SpongeBob shakes in anxiety)
SpongeBob: Wait, can I go home and change first?
Photographer: No time. Say cheese.
SpongeBob: (sobbing and crying) Cheeeeeese, cheeeeeese, cheeeeese, cheeeeese, cheeeese.
Photographer: (while holding a water hose) Quit that moody brooding. This will clean you up. (squirts the peanut butter off of SpongeBob with water) Don't snivel like that. A winner doesn't snivel. (hands SpongeBob a green outfit) Try putting this on. (He puts on a green outfit, but he continues wailing) This is it. Now you are looking like some winner. (camera shows that SpongeBob's outfit is too tight for him. He continues to cry when he looks at his outfit)
Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, please stop crying so he can take the picture.
Photographer: Do not worry, Mrs. Puff. I brought Pearlie. (shows him holding a briefcase that says "Pearlie" on it)
SpongeBob: I can't stop crying!
Photographer: (opens up his briefcase that has a giant pair of dentures in it) This will make you smile, yeah, whether you want to or not. (puts the giant teeth in SpongeBob's mouth) Now say cheese.
SpongeBob: (muffled): Cheeeeeese. (the photographer takes the picture. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob's house) There I am! (looking at his cautious memories book. He looks at a picture of himself. 14 other photos of people in a grayscale form are shown also with big teeth, smiling) Hey, I don't look so bad after all! (the episode ends)
