Episode Transcript: Goo Goo Gas

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Episode Article: Goo Goo Gas

Characters

Dialogue

(It is a normal day at the Krusty Krab. Or so everyone thinks. Plankton is disguised as a peppershaker. He steals a Krabby Patty from a customer)

Plankton: Ha! (He runs out the Krusty Krab. However, Mr. Krabs picks him up from behind)

Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there, Plankton.

Plankton: Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: I'll take that. (Gets the Krabby Patty from him)

Plankton: How'd you know it was me?

Mr. Krabs: Next time, wear a disguise without your initial on it.

Plankton: Perhaps a peppershaker was a bit obvious.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! (SpongeBob runs onto the scene)

SpongeBob: Wooo-ooo! (Krabs puts Plankton in his mouth)

Announcer: (off-screen) 3, 2, 1...blastoff! (SpongeBob launches Plankton up in the air through his hat)

Plankton: AAHH!

(down at the park. Plankton is on a bench)

Sadie: (with her baby. she takes his bottle) And many things to think about! (the baby starts crying. Sadie gives him back his bottle and he stops.)

Plankton: Something about that woman reminds me of my mother. That's it! Finally, victory will be mine! I'll turn Eugene Krabs into a powerless...baby.

Mr. Krabs: (A penny catches his eye) Ooh, a penny. (He sees a trail of pennies) A trail of pennies! (They lead him into a phone booth. Plankton pops in on the scene, and has a device on a pack on his back)

Plankton: I've done it! Nothing can stop me now! My goo goo gas will transform Krabs into a tiny helpless infant! The key to the Krusty Krab. This is easier than I hoped. He's a little bigger than I imagined. (starts biting him) Ow! Ow! Ow! (releases him, but he can't reach for the doors)

SpongeBob: Hey, a baby! What are you doing out here alone, baby? I'll take charge of you until your mommy shows up! Oh, you're just too cute.

Plankton: Hello! If you're not making a total fool of yourself, I could use some help with this lock.

SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Plankton. Here you go, little one.

Plankton: Yes, my plan is working perfectly, now that I've turned Krabs into a helpless baby, the Krabby Patty secret formula will be mine! Hello.

SpongeBob: Police! Police!

Plankton: (getting arrested) Fools, you'll never hold me! Your primitive shackles are no match for my genius. (the cuffs are too wide, and he easily escapes) I'm free!

(Squidward walks up to the Krusty Krab, looking glum as always)

SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward. Thank Neptune you're here. I found this baby all alone. But he wasn't really alone, he was with Plankton! And he's not a baby! It's Mr. Krabs! Plankton turned him into a baby so he steal the Krabby Patty secret formula! (Baby Krabs burps on Squidward) What do we do, Squidward?

Squidward: I don't know about you, but I'm going on my coffee break. A very long coffee break. (walks away)

Plankton: (back at the Chum Bucket, talking to Karen)...and then that blasted sponge called the cops! That's just not trick-it. Now I'll never be a tarantical overlord.

Karen: Do I have to tell you how to do everything? Next time, spray SpongeBath too.

Plankton: Not sure.

Karen: Listen carefully. Spray.

Plankton: Yes.

Karen: Sponge.

Plankton: Uh-huh.

Karen: Bath.

Plankton: Right.

Karen: Too!

Plankton: Now you're just talking jibberish. What I really need is spray Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob.

Karen: That's just what I...

Plankton: I don't wanna hear all your looney schemes, Karen. I've got work to do!

(back at the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: What's wrong, Mr. Baby Krabs? You thirsty? (gives him some milk and he stops crying) That's it, drink up! (the bottle slips out of his mouth and he continues to cry) Ok, maybe you're hungry? Do you want a nice soft Krabby Patty? (flicks it away and continues to cry) Not even a Krabby Patty helps. How about a stack of monies?

Plankton: Hands in the air!

SpongeBob: Plankton!

Plankton: That's right, SpongeBob, I'm back! And you won't stop me this time. (Mr. Krabs turns into an adult, and SpongeBob turns into a baby) What? SpongeBob's a baby but Krabs is back to normal (sprays again.) It seems the second dose acts as an antidote! One squirt equals baby, two squirts equals adult! (sprays both of them once, and they come back to normal) Or is it three squirts baby, four squirts adult. Barnacles, I've run out of gas!

Mr. Krabs: Ehem!

Plankton: Krabs! Nice diaper. (Mr. Krabs is about to throw him) Come on, come on! (throws him. cut to Plankton flying in the air) I've got it!

Mr. Krabs: (checking the mailbox) Better be something other than bills this time. (Plankton comes out) Plankton!

Plankton: Peek-a-boo!

Mr. Krabs: (running back in the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: I can't tolerate your stinky gas!

Old Customer: (farts)

Miss Shell: That makes two of us.

Old Customer: I don't do it on purpose!

Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me, Plankton! Never! Ooh...another penny! Come to papa! Now were we doing?

Plankton: This! (sprays him)

Mr. Krabs: What's the matter, baby? Are you gonna cry? (Mr. Krabs is turned into a senior citizen) What the heck happened to you? This isn't baby gas! It's senior citizen spray!

Mr. Krabs: Ay? What was that, Sonny?

Plankton: Out of my way, Manuseulla! You're old and useless. (SpongeBob comes out of nowhere)

SpongeBob: Hold it right there! Old people are out greatest natural resource! I salute you, old citizenry!

Plankton: I'm getting old listening to this. Let's try this again! (sprays the gas on SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: I remember when a quarter used to cost a nickel.

Plankton: This baby gas is worthless! At least you're way too old to stop me from stealing a Krabby Patty!

SpongeBob: What was that, sonny?

Plankton: It'll take more time to explain than you have left.

SpongeBob: What?

Mr. Krabs: He's got the Krabby Patty! Get him!

SpongeBob: Can't you!

Mr. Krabs: You're right.

Plankton: Victory is mine! (shaken by the sound of walkers)

SpongeBob: Come back here, you little whippersnapper!

Mr. Krabs: You kids get off my lawn! I'll catch up with you, boy!

SpngeBob: I'll catch up with my knitting. What's that?

Plankton: That was almost too easy. (is caught in a string chamber) No! I demand you geezers release me!

Mr. Krabs: Right after the party. The pinata party.

Plankton: What?

Senior Citizens: That's for calling us old. I want candy!

(back at the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: Squirt plus a pinch of Kareena 2. Plus the square route of SpongeBob. Of course! The final ingredient I'm lacking! It's so simple yet so evil! And I know just where to get it.

(cut to te Barg'n Mart)

Plankton: Excuse me, what isle did you get that from?

The Pink Fish: You mean the Kelp-O?

Plankton: No, not that! The ugly drippy smelly thing.

The Pink Fish: Are you talking about my baby, creep? (Chases Plankton with her cart. She ends up running over him)

Plankton: Baby powder? This could be just what I need! Hey buddy, is this made of real or artifical baby? (The Pink Fish runs over Plankton again)

Karen: AHH! Plankton! Don't you dare!!! (Plankton sprays her with the gas. She turns into a calculator, which falls to the ground)

Plankton: That powdered baby did the trick! Now my baby gas can't possibly fail!

Karen: Just like all your plans that "couldn't possibly fail?"

Plankton: What is it now, Karen?

Karen: I'm saying you should test your gas before you come running there all hilly nilly!

Plankton: That's an excellent idea. And I know just the guinea pig! (points the gas to Karen)