Episode Transcript: Banned in Bikini Bottom

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Episode Article: Banned in Bikini Bottom

Characters

Dialogue

(At the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is cooking Krabby Patties, and hears them sizzle. A big puff of steam comes up. SpongeBob kisses it.)

SpongeBob: I know I've said this 90 times already but...

Music: I Love Krabby Patties

I love Krabby Patties
I think that they ate swell.
They are the best
There's no contest
And now I'm going to yell. 

SpongeBob: Whew! (SpongeBob fills his holes up with air while Squidward walks to the soda machine with a box of cups, and makes a replica of a house of cards with cups. The music continues.)

I love Krabby Patties!
I think they're swell.
They're so neat
and quite a treat
And how I love the way they smell...
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

Squidward: I knew I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today.

SpongeBob: La la la la laaaaaaa... la la la la!!!

(a tour bus comes out with Mrs. Grizzlepuss blowing a whistle that signals more ladies)

Mr. Krabs: Hello, and welcome one, and all your money to ye olde Krusty Krab!

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Come along, sisters. Pay no mind to this crimson abomination!

Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Greetings. Although your establishment seems ropognent, and foul in nature, It seems not to offend our sensitivities. It is for that reason, plus the fact that we have been stuck on a tour bus for several days that my sisters, and I would like to eat something here.

Squidward: Okay. But first let me call the mortician and tell him his uniform's been stolen. (Squidward cracks up) Clothing singer!

Mr. Krabs: Squidward! These rich, and han- I mean, these little lovely ladies are obviously here to eat. So let's sell them- I mean, serve them some delicious Krabby Patties!

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Well, Mister...

Mr. Krabs: Krabs, my lady.

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Mr. Grabs, you know the basic rules of behaving like a civilized bottom feeder. Perhaps your restaurant isn't quite the hype of DeGeneres it appears to be. And we had you figured all wrong.

Mr. Krabs: Of course you did, because you're about to find out. SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: (still singing "I Love Krabby Patties")

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... I like Krabby Patties!
I think they're swell. 
I like Krabby Patties
And you cannot tell. 
Krabby Patties
Krabby Patties. 
They're so neat. 
La la la la la. Sweet to eat. 
La la la la la. Really neat.
Really neat. 
Treat that's neat. 
Sweet treat sweet treat. 
(Gerblish)

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: (blows her whistle) Look at this wild hooligan. Running amuck, singing, dancing. It's... it's shapeless, disgusting. Avert your eyes. Young man, what has caused you to act like this? I must know!

SpongeBob: Actually, ma'am, it's the absolute fun, and deliciousness of a Krabby Patty.

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Krabby Patty?

SpongeBob: Yeah, that's right.

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Well, anything this fun and delicious can be good. Why, what would this world be if everyone cavorted it in such a manner?

Mr. Krabs: Who are you with your tight lips, raised eyebrows, and conservative clothes?

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: I am Mrs. Grizzlepuss. We are the United Organization of Fish Against things that are fun and delicious. And we are going to ban these so called Krabby Patties, and close your restaurant forever!

Mr. Krabs: What the...!

SpongeBob: Mrs. Grizzlepuss, maybe if you were to taste the Krabby Patty for yourself, you too could experience the awesome pleasure.

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: I would soon sprout legs and do the Watusi!

SpongeBob: Ooh! Okay.

Mr. Krabs: Ah, it don't matter anyway, lad. She can't close us down.

(cut to the Krusty Krab locked up and has a "Closed" sign on it)

Mr. Krabs: She closed us down! I'm ruined! (cries)

Squidward: You called Mrs. Grizzlepuss a disgusting old prune and you threatened her with a french-fry strainer.

Mr. Krabs: Well, I didn't know her husband was the chief of the police.

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Thanks again, Al.

Al: Any time, honey. I'll see you at home for dinner. Mmm! (licks his lips) I'm starving. (drives away) Yee-haw!

Mrs. Grizzlepuss: I just love that man.

Plankton: Curse you! (falls with the ladder)

Plankton: Darn it! So close and yet so far!

To Be Continued

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