Episode Transcript: The Bad Guy Club for Villains

Latest revision as of 17:37, 28 May 2025

Episode Article: The Bad Guy Club for Villains

[edit] Characters

• SpongeBob SquarePants
• Patrick Star
• Mermaid Man (young)
• Barnacle Boy (young)
• Man Ray
• Dirty Bubble
• Sinister Slug
• Jumbo Shrimp
• Atomic Flounder
• Elastic Waistband
• Professor Magma
• Miss Appear
• The Pyrite Ponderer
• Robot Mantis
• Realistic Fish Head (voice only)

[edit] Dialogue

(episode begins outside Patrick’s house. Patrick sits in his chair, watching television. An excited SpongeBob arrives)

SpongeBob: Patrick! Guess what came in the mail today!

Patrick: OH! WHAT!

SpongeBob: (takes out a VHS from behind his back) This... (cut to a closer shot of the videocassette)

Patrick: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Lost Episode?! Stick it in! (SpongeBob slides the cassette into a VCR attached to Patrick’s TV and presses the play button. He and Patrick sit down on the latter’s couch and giggle. The tape begins with a whirlpool. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy’s faces zoom in. They are then shown running through what appears to be a 1960s Bikini Bottom, catching and beating up Man Ray. They then shake hands and leave. The entire intro, and the rest of the tape, has a faded color scheme)

Music: The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Theme Song

Faster than light,
They pay to stop crime.
It’s Mermaid Man and Barnacle Bo-o-oy!

(cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah!

(cut back to the video. MM & BB are shown standing atop a building and hear screaming)

If you’re in a jam...

(a female fish screams as a robotic praying mantis stands in front of her. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy swoop down from offscreen and MM defeats the robot mantis by punching its head off, destroying it)

It’s Mermaid Man and Barnacle Bo-o-o-oy!

(MM & BB look at the camera. Mermaid Man winks. The whirlpool is shown again as the show’s title ("MERMAiDMAN & BARNACLEBOY" with MM & BB’s faces on either side) zooms in, then the title of the episode appears)

Realistic Fish Head: The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! Tonight’s episode: "The Secret Meeting." (cut to the Mermalair) Deep in the Mercave, something strange takes Mermaid Man’s attention.

Barnacle Boy: The Dirty Bubble? What’s he doing at the bus stop?

Mermaid Man: Looks like he’s got a one way ticket to Bikini Bottom. And there’s only one thing he could be up to in Bikini Bottom, Barnacle Boy.

Barnacle Boy: That’s right, Mermaid Man.

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: EVIL! (a transition, showing the whirlpool as MM & BB’s faces zoom in and out, plays, accompanied by a short trumpet-led tune. A bus drives in. The Dirty Bubble comes out of the bus and laughs. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy look at each other. Man Ray arrives from a explosion)

Realistic Fish Head: ("MANRAY" appears) The terrible Man Ray!

Dirty Bubble: Huh! So glad you could make it!

Man Ray: I wouldn’t miss this for the world, dirty! (laughs. A green glow appears)

Realistic Fish Head: The most powerful of all crustaceans, (a lobster-like crustacean appears. The glow fades out. "JUMBO SHRiMP" appears as the crab closes its claws a few times) it’s JUMBO SHRIMP! ("ATOMiC FLOUNDER" appears as an atom flies in, spinning in the process, and flashes) It’s the Atomic Flounder, (a fish with alien-like eyes and a tail appears and roars) the abomination of a nuclear experiment gone horribly wrong! (from the sewers, a slug with red eyes emerges and slithers around) And the terror of the sewers, (slime covers the screen and slides down. Some slime remains to form "SINISTER SLUG") the man-eating Sinister Slug!

Dirty Bubble: We join forces at last.

Mermaid Man: It’s worse than I could have imagined, a team up.

Dirty Bubble: Welcome to the BGATFBC! (Dirty Bubble gives the villains cards. All villains laugh evilly. Mermaid Man puts on some binoculars and looks at Man Ray’s card. It reads "BGATFBC, The Evil Hotel, April 3rd, 12:00 P.M.)

Mermaid Man: April 3rd, 12:00 noon? That’s tomorrow!

Barnacle Boy: Holy-- (video cuts to static. Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick)

Patrick: Hey!

SpongeBob: (stands up and chuckles as he walks to the TV) Don’t worry! I can fix it! (pushes the eject button on the VCR, and the tape comes out and falls. The tape is now torn and pulled quite a bit out of the cassette) Deeee! (picks up the tape, gets out some tape and scissors, cuts the tapes and reinserts the tape. The video plays again)

Barnacle Boy: Gripping guppies, Mermaid Man! We gotta do something!

Mermaid Man: Not so fast, little flipper. We are far too outmanned! But fear not. We are always one step ahead of EVIL!

Realistic Fish Head: Our hero of the bride puts up a call!

Mermaid Man: To the ocean’s greatest heroes!

Phone Lady: Yes, can you hold?

Mermaid Man: Yes, I can hold. (transition from before plays)

Realistic Fish Head: Meanwhile, a sinister horde of tie holts people!

Dirty Bubble: This way, gentlemen! (the villain crew comes through a door)

Jumbo Shrimp: Wait a minute, what’s going on in here? (Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, both disguised in coats and hats, sit at a table where the BGATFBC are supposed to be)

Dirty Bubble: Huh? No! Personally sorry, gentlemen, you must be in the wrong room! This room is reserved for the BGATFBC.

Mermaid Man: (in disguise) That’s funny. I thought it was aside for the I.J.L.S.A.

Dirty Bubble: I.J.L.S.A? What in coral caverns is that? (Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy take off their disguises)

All Villains: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!

Mermaid Man: That’s right! (jumps out of his coat) Now, before you have to say goodbye, say hello to some friends. (throws some wind and it breaks the door. Somebody comes out) The Elastic Waistband!

Barnacle Boy: Greet the hottest sea creature in the country. (pours coffee from a pot onto the floor. The coffee forms a creature) Professor Magma!

Mermaid Man: The illusive Miss Appear! (she appears. A golden man is seen reading a book) And the Pyrite Ponderer with his hairnet of knowledge!

Pyrite Ponderer: Do we really exist?

Mermaid Man: Together, we are the International Justice Lodge of Super Acquaintances!

Dirty Bubble: Let’s get 'em, boys! (the bad guys and the good guys run towards each other. The Jumbo Shrimp is shown running while Mermaid Man is shown flying. When they meet, Mermaid Man punches the Jumbo Shrimp, who throws Mermaid Man to the wall)

Jumbo Shrimp: Do not tussle with the BGATFBC! (Mermaid Man falls from the wall)

Pyrite Ponderer: Violence resolves nothing.

Man Ray: (pointing his laser gun at the Elastic Waistland) Good night, balloon boy! (Miss Appear appears and takes away Man Ray’s gun)

Miss Appear: Professor Magma, catch! (Magma melts the gun)

Barnacle Boy: Step aside, you covious cod! My beef is with the bubble!

Mermaid Man: Hold on, Barnacle Boy! He’s got nuclear touch! (the Atomic Flounder roars and touches Barnacle Boy on the arm)

Barnacle Boy: Nuclear touch! (cut to SpongeBob and Patrick. Both scream)

Patrick: I can’t watch! (puts his hands over his eyes, which go through. Cut back to the video. Where the Atomic Flounder touched Barnacle Boy, an extra arm and hand grows on the arm. It punches him)

Mermaid Man: Fracturing furniture! Hang tight, buddy! (the hand hits Barnacle Boy again and again. Jumps towards Barnacle Boy. The Dirty Bubble eats Man Ray and spits him out at Mermaid Man, but the Elastic Waistband gets in the way) Hang in there, my daring deputy. (a face grows out of the hand)

Facehand: Your daring deputy is napping right now. But I’d be happy to spread out the message, if you have a way out of it! (tries to hit Mermaid Man by controlling Barnacle Boy’s arm)

Mermaid Man: Swirling swivels! That fiend has taken control over Barnacle Boy!

Elastic Wasteband: What do we do, Mermaid Man?

Mermaid Man: I’m glad you asked. (jumps onto the chandelier and swings off of it and jumps onto Barnacle Boy) If the Atomic Flounder were to touch that wretched root, it would cause a chain reaction, reversing the polarity and the mollecular level, restoring Barnacle Boy to his natural state! Isn’t that right, Professor Magma? (cut to Professor Magma. He says nothing)

Handface: You’ll never do it. You don’t have the moxi!

Mermaid Man: That’s what you think, cur! (picks up Handface and Barnacle Boy) Shield! (Professor Magma turns into the shape of a shield and Mermaid Man picks him up. The Atomic Flounder grabs the shield, but Mermaid Man throws him down) Ha ha! (the Sinister Slug is on the wall behind him. Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick, who are both scared)

SpongeBob: Look out, Mermaid Man! (cut back to the video. Mermaid Man looks behind himself and gasps. The Sinister Slug growls and spits at Mermaid Man, who avoids it by jumping away. It hits the Atomic Flounder. Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! (cut back to the video. The Atomic Flounder, now covered in slime, struggles to move)

Mermaid Man: The Sinister Slug’s slime has got you stationary and stiff! (to Handface) Which means your time is up, friend. (pushes Handface toward the Atomic Flounder)

Handface: Not nuclear touch...! (disintegrates)

Barnacle Boy: Great gravy! What just happened?

Mermaid Man: I’ll tell you about it later. Now, let’s take out the trash!

Pyrite Ponderer: Here, (takes off his hairnet) you can use my hairnet of knowledge.

Mermaid Man: Thank you.

Dirty Bubble: No! No! You guys don’t understand! It’s not what you think! (the bad guys are shown running away from Mermaid Man, who swoops them up in the hairnet of knowledge. The same transition from before plays)

Mermaid Man: You really thought you were going to get away from it, did you? First up, villains, what does "BGATFBC" stand for?

Man Ray: It stands for the "Bad Guys All Together Book Club."

Mermaid Man: Book Club? You mean you weren’t going to destroy a library or something?

Man Ray: Why would we do that? We’re almost to the new chapter!

Atomic Flounder: What are you going to do, lock us up for reading?

Jumbo Shrimp: Yeah! You can’t prison us for reading!

Mermaid Man: That’s right. (to the viewers) Remember kids, (cut to a close-up of him) no one can imprison you for reading! (the whirlpool is shown again. "THE END" zooms in over it. Cut back to Patrick’s house. The closing credits of the video (actually the end credits of SpongeBob) play on the TV, accompanied by Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy Action Theme Lite)

Patrick: Hey, what happened? Why are those squiggles on the screen?

pongeBob: Those are called "end credits," Patrick.

Patrick: End credits? But I don’t want it to end!

SpongeBob: (walks up to the TV as the SpongeBob end credits continue to play) That’s why Neptune gave us the rewind button! (presses the rewind button on the VCR)

Patrick: Oh, thank you, Neptune! (SpongeBob and Patrick are seen seated on Patrick’s couch, about to rewatch the rewound video. Camera zooms into Patrick’s TV, where the whirlpool has reappeared)