Episode Transcript: The Main Drain

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The Curse of the Hex

Episode Article: The Main Drain

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob comes out of the freezer with a Krabby Patty)

SpongeBob: Nothing like a fresh frozen krabby patty with extra freezer burn flavor. (nose breaks off. Walks up to the grill) Here we go... (stops when he saw filth on the grill. Takes his finger and observes part of the filth) Hmm, grill look a tad dirty. (cut to the counter with a customer)

Customer: Yeah, I like to order... (gets interrupted by a noise from the kitchen)

Squidward: Hold that thought. (SpongeBob is cleaning the grill with a red sponge. Pops his head in the window) SpongeBob, what's all that racket? (SpongeBob cleans Squidward's face. Goes back to the counter with his face all dirty)

Customer: Uh, so I like to order... (Squidward closes his mouth, hushing him. Back in the kitchen, the grill is all cleaned. SpongeBob places the red sponge in his tongue)

SpongeBob: (pops his head out the window) Say! Who wants...the first patty from our freshly cleaned grill!? (hyperventilates excitedly)

Customer: (delighted) I would like a Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: Okay, how about you, Squid...

Squidward: No! I do not want a Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: (smugs while slides his finger against Squidward's nose) You suuure?

Squidward: Don't touch me.

Customer: Why don't you want a Krabby Patty?

Squidward: I've seen what he cleans the grill with. (bubble-wipe to the kitchen)

SpongeBob: Now all I need is a fresh patty. (walks to the freezer when he slips on a puddle of water. Goes out the door, making a path of water. Grabs a pole and slides back to the kitchen, closing the door. He is now lying down) Hey, where'd all this water come from? (notices the sink is running. Walks up to it and turns it off) There we go. Oh my stars and garters, the sink is clogged up! (places a "Wet Floor" sign) Safety. (walks back to the sink) Now what seem to be the trouble, hmm? (hears somebody tripping. Walks up to that person, which is Patrick) Patrick, what happened? (Patrick sits up)

Patrick: There I was, walking along, just minding my own business and then BOOM! (takes out the "Wet Floor" sign) Some dumbbell put this thing in the way. (throws the sign out and gets up) What'cha doing?

SpongeBob: Trying to see what has this sink all backed up. Would you excuse me a second?

'Patrick: Uh-huh. (SpongeBob inhales for breath and holds it. He dives his head into the sink and then he sees a drain plug)

SpongeBob: (gurgling) Ah-ha! (Takes his head out of the sink) Oh, this is easy. All I have to do is pull the drain plug. (repeating as the camera cuts to Mr. Krabs' office while he is writing) Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug. (Mr. Krabs' eyes becomes bloodshot in fright) The drain plug.

Mr. Krabs: (yelling) THE DRAIN PLUG!? (cut to SpongeBob, trying to pull the drain plug. Rushes to SpongeBob) SpongeBob! (SpongeBob gets startled and he jumps up to the ceiling, hitting his head. Then he falls down to the floor) What in Neptune's bathtub do you think you're doing, lad?!

SpongeBob: (goes to the sink again) The sink is clogged, (holds the plug) so I was going to pull out the drain plug. (Mr. Krabs smacks his hand and SpongeBob lets go of the plug)

Mr. Krabs: Stop messing with that drain plug! Are you daft?

SpongeBob: Why don't you want me to pull out the drain plug, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Why don't I-but-hmm...one sec. (walks to a light switch and turns it off. Then he walks back) Time for a scary story boys. The story... (takes out a flashlight and shines to his face; spooky tone) ...of the Main Drain. (hears ominous music from Patrick's radio) Patrick.

Patrick: Sorry. (turns off his radio)

Mr. Krabs: As I was saying... (takes out the flashlight and shines to his face again) ...it happened a long time ago... (hears ominous music from Patrick's radio again and is annoyed) Patrick! (Patrick turns it off again) To a pair of little kids.

Patrick: (scared) Two little kids...? (crying)

Mr. Krabs: Anyway, (takes out the flashlight and shines to his face again) it said that the Main Drain beckoned to them, putting them under its spell. (transition to two kids, an orange fish and a green fish, running and laughing)

Green Kid: (singing) Dadadada-dum-da-dumdumdum.

Orange Kid: Woooo.

Mr. Krabs: (narrating) One day, those two kids were wandering through the ocean, when they stumble upon it. (the kids found a giant drain plug)

Kids: Huh?

Mr. Krabs: (spooky tone) The Main Drain. (the kids chuckle and then they pull it) Legend has it that their curiosity got the best of 'em. (the plug has been pulled out) And they pulled the plug. (the orange kid gets sucked in) The entire ocean rusted in the drain and sucked those two kids right down with it. (the green kid attempts to escape, but gets sucked in as well) The drain was so powerful, it pulled all of Bikini Bottom into its gaping maw, causing an apocalypse to the sea! (the drain sucks everything in the ocean, including the water. Cross-fade back to Mr. Krabs) And nobody was ever heard from...again. (turns off the flashlight)

SpongeBob: (turns the light back on) Where is the Main Drain, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Well it right-I...I don't know where it is! And I'm certainly not going to tell you! (pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of the restaurant) So, so, so get out of here and stay away from that drain! No plugs will be pulled on my watch. (closes the door)

Patrick: Mr. Krabs sure has a lot of baggage about drain dealings.

SpongeBob: The Main Drain sounds very, very dangerous, I'm never gonna go near that thing.

Patrick: (determined) We should go find it, to protect it from people like us.

SpongeBob: (worried) What if we get sucked in like those other two kids?

Patrick: Oh, don't worry, we're not little kids, we're all grown up. (his tooth comes out loose, then pulls it out) Hey, a baby tooth. (they both walk through the road)

SpongeBob: Who's been in Bikini Bottom for as long as Mr. Krabs? (suddenly, SpongeBob accidentally steps on Plankton)

Plankton: OW! (SpongeBob picks up his foot)

Patrick: Ew...

SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Plankton! (peels him off of his shoe while Plankton yells in pain, then he holds Plankton on his hand)

Patrick: Let's ask Plankton, he's a geezer.

Plankton: What stupid question do you want the answer to, idiots?

SpongeBob: Patrick and I are trying to find the Main Drain.

Plankton: (gasps) The Main Drain?? What are you two bothering me for any-I-I-I don't know where the Main Drain is. It's a myth anyway, it doesn't exist!

SpongeBob: Yeah, but Mr. Krabs said...

Plankton: Krabs?! Why that-he was just telling you a fish tale. There's no such thing as a drain at the bottom of the sea. (jumps out of SpongeBob's hand) So go on, scram! SHOO! Get out of here! (SpongeBob and Patrick walk away) Why on Earth would Krabs tell those two blunderers about the Main Drain? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob and Patrick walking in town)

SpongeBob: I wonder who else knows about the Main Drain. (suddenly, they are pulled by two green arms and get dragged into a house in a dark room... it is Old Man Jenkins who pulled them in. He turns on the light)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Old Man Jenkins!

Old Man Jenkins: Why are you two asking about the Main Drain?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs tells us the story of how the Main Drain once destroyed Bikini Bottom.

Patrick: So we've been looking for it.

SpongeBob: Does the Main Drain even exist?

Old Man Jenkins: Oh, it exists all right, but it's been, uh...hushed up...

SpongeBob: (claps his hands together in hope for an answer) Where is the drain, O Wise Jenkins?

Old Man Jenkins: ...I have no idea. (SpongeBob and Patrick are disappointed. They leave the house)

SpongeBob: (immediately faces towards Patrick) Patrick! We need to find that drain!

Patrick: Why?

SpongeBob: Isn't you curiosity piqued? (frantically) What if someone accidentally pulls it? What if...What if...?

Patrick: (thinking) Oh, man...I hope this question isn't for me, I hate questions.

SpongeBob: What do you think, Patrick?

Patrick: Ah! (frantically turns his head left and right) Um...uh...42! Eugh, No! Triangle! Guh, Meatballs! Screwdrivers! Pajamas! (cries)

SpongeBob: (confident) I hear ya, Patrick! Let's go find that drain!

Patrick: (stops crying) OK. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob and Patrick packing their stuff)

SpongeBob: OK, Patrick, let's start walking! (walks)

Patrick: Oh, no, thanks. I'm not into the whole "walking" thing. (SpongeBob stops walking and faces towards Patrick)

SpongeBob: But how will we ever get to the drain?

Patrick: We'll wait for it to come to us.

SpongeBob: (thinks up an idea) ...I know! (takes out his bubble bottle and creates a bus-shaped bubble) What do you think? (we see the newly created bubble bus)

Patrick: Wow! (the two go in and take their seats)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Road trip! Whoo-hoo! (the bus pops loudly and the two fall)

SpongeBob: Well, that's out. (they both think again) I know! (uses his bubble bottle again and creates large bubbles as balloons for Patrick's rock house. The two then fly, but the bubbles get popped by a group of scallops. They scream and the rock falls down. Cut to Squidward walking)

Squidward: Another miserable day... (groans with displeasure. Hears some distant screaming and a shadow casts over him) Ooh? (looks up and gets crushed by Patrick's rock)

SpongeBob: Now what? (they both think once more)

Patrick: Oh! I know exactly what to do! (takes the remaining ropes from the bubble balloons and uses them as a horse rein and bites onto them. Acts like a horse and neighs. Proceeds to pull the rock like a horse carriage. The rock uncovers a squashed Squidward from the ground)

Squidward: Oh, that's better...

SpongeBob: Great idea, Patrick! We'll be there in no time! (Patrick hits something)

Patrick: Ouch! Oh... (sees the drain) Hey! I found it!

SpongeBob: Wow, good job.

Patrick: Let's pull it.

SpongeBob: (frightened) What?! Why would we do that?!

Patrick: Well, that was the whole point of coming here, wasn't it?

SpongeBob: No! We came to see if it is real.

Patrick: Well, how do we know this isn't a fake?

SpongeBob: We...we don't know...

Patrick: We won't know unless we pull it.

SpongeBob: But, if we pull it, and if it's real, the world may end.

Patrick: And if we don't, we'll never know. (slowly reaches for the plug when suddenly, Mr. Krabs and Plankton shout)

Mr. Krabs and Plankton: NOOOOOOO!! (they both quickly run up to SpongeBob and Patrick)

Mr. Krabs: Boys, there's more to that story of the drain plug. You see...

Plankton: ...we were the two ding-a-lings who pulled that plug. (SpongeBob and Patrick gasp)

Mr. Krabs: That's right. Plankton and I were wandering around... (transition to the scene with the Main Drain, only this time a younger Mr. Krabs and Plankton are nonchalantly walking to the drain plug and pulling it; the drain then pulls everything and everyone from the entire ocean) You see, we had to lie in order for you to keep away from it.

Plankton: We just didn't want for you to make the same mistake we made.

SpongeBob: Phew! That was a close one!

Patrick: Yeah. We almost messed up big time. (inhales and exhales in relief, but accidentally pulls the plug)

SpongeBob: Huh? (sees the drain plug already pulled out. The drain then starts pulling everything from the entire ocean. SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton then scream and flee. Patrick does the same, but all four of them get sucked into the drain. Then, the drain pulls every building and citizen from Bikini Bottom. Cut to Patrick's bedroom; the entire scenario turns out to be a story told by SpongeBob)

Patrick: (screams) That's the most realistic scary story I've ever heard. (the sound of the drain plug pulled out and draining the ocean is heard)

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