Episode Transcript: Enchanted Tiki Dreams

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(Scene: Squidward's house. Squidward, in his Krusty Krab uniform, is about to depart for work)

Squidward: OK, beloved sanctuary, I'll see you after work, and we'll have a nice relaxing evening, just you and me. (closes the door) That is, if I can survive another day with GratingBob ShrillPants.

(Suddenly, he sees SpongeBob throwing a rock on Patrick)

Patrick: Owww!

SpongeBob: (laughing) Baa,aaa,aaa!

(Patrick throws a rock on SpongeBob)

SpongeBob and Patrick: (laughing) Ha, ha, ha...

Squidward: Huh. Those two are just so amazingly stupid.(Patrick gets thrown and breaks Squidward's neck. Then SpongeBob steps on Squidward's broken neck. Squidward gets up.) Grrrrrrrrrr.

SpongeBob: (laughing) Hee, hee, hee.

Patrick:(Gets up and rolls backwards and he picks up SpongeBob and throws him.) Heeyah!

SpongeBob: Ahhhhhhh! (Lands) OOF! (laughing) Baa,aaa,aaa,aaa. (Does the same thing with Patrick)

Patrick: (laughing) Ha, ha, ha. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Lands) OOF! (Both Laugh)

SpongeBob: Ahh. Isn't this fun?

Patrick: Yeah. I love playing Buddy Toss. (Squidward walks past them)

SpongeBob: Good morning, Squidward. See you at work. (Squidward groans)

(Scene skips to the Krusty Krab.)

SpongeBob: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

SpongeBob and Patrick: (laughing) Baa,aaa,aaa.(SpongeBob squirts mustard in Patrick's eyes.)

Patrick: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Both laugh)

Squidward: (Shakes his head) Okay. I can do this. Just put them out of my... (SpongeBob screams. SpongeBob and Patrick laugh.)

Narrator: One extremely annoying shift later...

Squidward: Ahhh! (Does a few locks) Come on. A nine letter word for annoying. SpongeBob. (Wipes sweat from his face.) Hewww. Finally some peace and quiet. (Hangs up his hat and steps into his slippers.) No more SpongeBob. Just me and a home sweet home. Ahhh. Nothing like a Squid's wicker chair to sooth the pains of a rough day. Just relax and consinplate some me time. Perhaps I could dance to some smooth jazz records. (Music starts. Squidward snaps his fingers two times and dances.) Maybe I could dazzle to a little painting. Ahh. I am sure looking forward to it.

Patrick: Ahh!

SpongeBob: Baa,aaa,aaa,aaa,aaa! (This goes on two more times.)

Squidward: No, No, NO!

Patrick:(gets stung by an electrical eel.) Ahhhhhhhh!

SpongeBob: Baa,aaa,aaa,aaa,aaa

Squidward: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (Slams open the door)

SpongeBob: Something Squidward this way comes.

Squidward: Alright you two, I am trying to have a relaxing evening. What in the world are you doing out here?

Patrick: Trying to have a relaxing evening.

SpongeBob: We're playing Flashlight Tag.

Squidward: You're playing Flashlight Tag with an electric eel?

SpongeBob: We're using the advanced rules.

Squidward: Advanced rules!? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. (Patrick stings him.)

Patrick: You're it. (Spot swell on Squidward arm.)


SpongeBob: Well playing Patrick!

Squidward: (Runs to the door anad cries, but bumps into the side of the house, two windows and then the nose falls on him. Squidward digs a tunnel into his house.)

Patrick: Shocking!

Eel: How original!

Squidward:*sniff* All I want is to live in a world where I can relax in peace and quiet. Is that two much to ask? (Gets tapped on the head twice.)

SpongeBob: Squidward, we're playing tag, not hide and seek you silly.

Patrick: But we like hide and seek too. We can play that.

Squidward: All I want is to live in a world where I can relax in peace

Squidward crying: And quiet.

SpongeBob: Squidward is very, very sad.

Patrick: Yeah. Let's go poke someone else.

SpongeBob:How about we do something extra special for him. Then he won't be sad anymore.

Patrick: Ohh, I get it. Remember when I was feeling all impressed so you let me eat all of Gary's, I mean like feed Gary for a week.

SpongeBob: No Patrick. This has to be extra special. We should probably vow to do it.

Patrick: Vow?

SpongeBob: Yeah. Vow.

Patrick: How about instead of vowing. We just do it.

SpongeBob: I like it!

(Scene cuts to Squidward flossing his teeth.)

Squidward: Ahhhh. Good Night, Lamp. (Hears loud noises.) I guess having a relaxing evening means staying up all night and playing with power tools. (Looks at his clock.) Huh. It's not late. Even morons have to sleep sometime. (Puts his clock back on the table. It spins and spins and spins. Squidward wakes up with a wrinkled face.)I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Leaps out of bed)When I get thost two I am going to... All right you two... (Looks at Enchanted Tiki Island) It... It... It's beautiful. It's too good to be true. It's a mirage. (Gary gives him a coconut drink. SpongeBob uses a boomerang to fling a shirt with flowers onto Squidward. Patrick uses a fishing pole to put the rest on.) The next stop the padded room in the cepalopod home. Just go with it Squidy. (He goes through a waterfall and finds some soap so he starts washing his body. A boat comes to him. He gets in and drinks a drink from a coconut.) Empty? A refill my good man. What the? Patrick? What are you doing here? (Patrick fills it)

Squidward: It's delicious. What is it?

Patrick: A smoothie.

Squidward: Remember Squidy. Just go with it.

Tikis: Boomba, tiki, tiki, tiki, Boomba, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Boomba, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Squidward's Tiki Land. Hey fellow's look. It's Squidward.

Squidward: (Drinks)

Another Tiki: Hey buddy were've you been?

Tikis: Boomba, tiki, tiki, tiki

Squidward: Hit it, boys.

Tikis: Boomba, tiki, tiki, tiki.

Squidward's tiki land. Boomba, tiki, tiki, tiki. Squidward's tiki land. Boomba, tiki, tiki, tiki. Squidward's tiki land. You can relax all day like a tiki can. Boomba, tiki, tiki, tiki. And lay out in the sun Boomba, tiki, tiki, tiki.

Squidward: A dream from a coconut that full of flem.

Tikis: Here in, Squidward's tiki land.

(One tiki is playing the drums and two are play a guitar or a viollin) You can play it all day, for a tiki band. Boomba, tiki, tiki, tiki, and dance all night for a tiki strand.

Boomba Tiki, tiki, tiki. 
Squidward: Don't matter to me cause I'm a crazy man! (He comes out of a tiki house.)

Tikis: Here in, Squidward's tiki land

Squidward: Ahh. This is the life. (SpongeBob puts out an easel and he gives Squidward some paint. Squidward paints the tiki land.

SpongeBob: It's beautiful!

Squidward: (Plays the clarinet and starts dancing with SpongeBob and Patrick.) I've never been this happy in my life. (All laugh until Patrick bumps into a tiki and burns down the whole island.)

Squidward: My world. (the Tiki prop ripped the paper and burned the paper. They breaked the pipes.]

Patrick: You were right SpongeBob. We should have used glue instead of earwax.

SpongeBob: Yeah. Considering neither of us us have ears.

Squidward: You... You destroyed my beautiful world.

SpongeBob: We're really sorry we couldn't make it last.

Patrick: Yeah. We really tried to make it last.

Squidward: Yeah. Make it last. (The boat floats to them, while Squidward begins to cry) I know how to make it last!

(Scene cuts to the boat as a swing and Squidward inside.)

Patrick: (Pushes and gets hit by the swing) Ahhhhh!

SpongeBob: (Gets hit by the swing) Ahhhhh!

Patrick: (Gets hit by the swing) Ahhhhh!

SpongeBob: (Gets hit by the swing) Ahhhhh!

Patrick: (Gets hit by the swing) A-ha!

(Episode ends before SpongeBob gets hit with the swing)

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