Episode Transcript: SpongeHenge

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The Two Faces of Squidward Banned in Bikini Bottom

Episode Article: SpongeHenge

Characters

Dialogue

(episode starts at Bikini Bottom, on a very windy day. Nat Peterson and Shubie come out of the Diner restaurant)

Peterson: Neptune's turned up quite a gale tonight. He must be mad about something.

Shubie: (laughs) That's silly. Everyone knows Poseidon is the ruler of the undersea. (wind blows a bag of goulash out of Shubie's hand) Oh. My leftovers.

Peterson: NOOOOOOOO!!! (sobs) Why, Dear Neptune? (the bag of goulash flies to SpongeBob's house. Inside, SpongeBob is sleeping. The bag breaks through the snoring sponge's window, and lands on SpongeBob's face)

SpongeBob: Mmmm-hmmmm. Goulash. (opens window) HEY OUT THERE! YOU DROPPED YOUR GOULASH! HELLOOO? (wind makes music through SpongeBob's pores) My pores are whistling in the wind. (jumps outside. Makes music, and laughs. A jellyfish comes to SpongeBob) Hahahahaha! That tickles! (the jellyfish buzzes to the music) Awwww. The little critter likes my whistling pores. (the jellyfish goes into SpongeBob's head. Laughs uncontrollably) THAT TICKLES! (laughs uncontrollably, then stops) Huh?

Moon: My shift's over. (night transitions into day)

Sun: Time for work, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: All right, Jelly, out you go. (blows the jellyfish out) It's been real fun but I gotta get to work. (the jellyfish follows SpongeBob) Quite a wind this morning, aye Jelly? (wind blows SpongeBob away) WHOOOAAA!! (more jellyfish come) Hey, Sparky, can you tell your friends I can't play right now? (jellyfish surround SpongeBob while he struggles in the rocks, tickling him) Oh no, please! (laughs) Stop it! (laughs once more, and the wind blows him out of the rocks and into his house) WHOOOOOOOAAAAAA!!! (lands back in bed. Looks at the clock) OH! I'M GOING TO BE LATE!! (runs out the door. The jellyfish pick him up) I told you guys I don't have time to play! (gets blown back. Next, SpongeBob is using his underwear as a slingshot) I HAVE NOT BEEN TARDY ONE TIME IN MY CAREER AS A FRY COOK, AND I'M NOT GOING TO START TODAY! (uses his underwear to fling himself out of his house, and the jellyfish make a string and he gets flung back into his house once again. Grabs onto the door. The jellyfish laugh. The door closes on SpongeBob's hands. SpongeBob screams and pulls out his fingers, which are now huge) I need to call in some help. (grabs the phone and tries to dial, but his fingers are too big) My fingers are too big for the buttons. (dials with his nose. Calls the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: (grabs the phone) Hello, this be the Krusty Krab.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! I need you!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Where you been, customers are blowin' in here like nobody's business! (Nat literally flies through the door and lands on his face. Then he gets in line)

SpongeBob: I am sorry Mr. Krabs, but these jellyfish don't want me to go to work!

Mr. Krabs: Jellyfish?

SpongeBob: They're attracted to my whistley holes.

Mr. Krabs: Uh, I'll never understand what you just said, but if it's transportation you need, I know just the thing. (grabs a fishing rod, pulls SpongeBob by one of his craters, who is bouncing on the ground) Ooh, this one's puttin' up a fight. (SpongeBob is dragging on the ground. A dolphin chirp is heard) Fightin' too hard! (SpongeBob is getting tossed in the air) Gotta reel him in, Krabs. Gotta reel him in. Cut a little slack, (SpongeBob blows back a little) then yank! (SpongeBob is being pulled hard) Cut some slack, then yank! (pulls SpongeBob, who is looking horrible, in) There he is. Ready for work. Crawl back to your point and start pushing out them patties.

SpongeBob: Aye aye sir. (teeth fall out. Now in the Krusty Krab) Let's get these patties started right! (wind blows patties onto the walls) That gives me an idea. (lets all ingredients blow from his hands onto the patties on the walls. Window opens and sound comes through SpongeBob's holes again) Oh, no. They found me. (jellyfish come in through the chimney. The wind rips the Krusty Krab off its foundation, leaving only the floor. Mr. Krabs and Squidward are being blown by the wind. SpongeBob, who is holding on to his spatula, is blown away. Grabs onto the arrow at the top of Patrick's rock)

Weatherman: The weather situation is much worse across the country.

Bob: And it looks like these winds aren't going to stop any time soon. (gets blown away) Whoa, whoa, WHOA!

Patrick: (laughs) Fishy go bye-bye. (eats Kelp Cream)

Fish #3: And that's the way it is in your world today. (Patrick throws ice cream cone at his television)

Patrick: BORING! I don't want to watch any of this boring stuff. I wanna watch something decent like-

SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't have any time. I gotta hide from these jellyfish.

Patrick: What jellyfish?

SpongeBob: Ever since the wind started, a sound blows through my holes that jellyfish seem to love. (rock opens and jellyfish come in)

Patrick: Hey fella. (jellyfish stings Patrick) OWWW! SPONGEBOB, GET OUT OF HERE!!! (jellyfish take SpongeBob away) I'M SORRY, SPONGEBOB, BUT YOU HAVE BECOME A NEGATIVE INFLUENCE! (closes rock)

SpongeBob: (laughs nervously) At least the wind stopped. (the jellyfish sting SpongeBob. Runs and hides in cave) I think I lost them. Well I guess I'll just stay here where it's safe...and quiet...and dark. Don't worry, I'll just stay here for a second. Behind these rocks. These sanitary, lifeless rocks. (time card appears)

French Narrator: Later...

SpongeBob: Hey, buddy. Just thought I'd spruce you up a bit. Wuzzat. Oh, you don't say, well guess what? You're my best friend too. Mmm-hmmm. Come on, Let's have some fun. Look buddy, mmmmmmmmm. Dinner's ready. Let's have some tea. Do you want some sugar, buddy? One lump, or two? Oh, you can have it all. (puts sugar cubes in tea) I feel comfortable around you. (sugar crumble in mouth) Can I confess something? Cause I know you’ll understand. I have this-problem. I seem to attract-JELLYFISH! (laughs) How do you work that out? Hmmmmm...... (SpongeBob stone stays still) Yeah, yeah. I'm in a loss, too. OH BARNACLES! I'M GONNA BE STUCK IN THIS CAVE FOREVER!! (blows wind. SpongeBob stone whistles to music with his pores) Of course, buddy. Brilliant idea! (takes stone outside) Let's see what happens this time. (jellyfish come) Whoooaaa, here they come! Go get em, buddy! (the jellyfish hate the music, and buzz over to SpongeBob) Hey guys. What do you think about my little friend's song? (SpongeBob stone plays foul notes) Is there something wrong? (the jellyfish sting SpongeBob. Runs back to cave, whimpering) Hmmmmm. I crafted one stone SpongeBob that provided a note in a foul key. But if I crafted another, (pulls down extremely complicated equation on a blackboard) the dimension of the hollow center multiplied by the number of holes, may offer another tune. One that could soothe those jellyfish. But which one is the right size?! Hmm. I'll just have to make a bunch of them. (montage plays in which SpongeBob makes eight musical stones) All right. That oughta do her. (the SpongeBob stones play the right notes. The jellyfish come to the stones) WOW! It actually worked... Ah. They're finally leaving me alone. I can go back to work now! (laughs) Krusty Krab, here I come! (stops running) How long was I gone?! (finds Krusty Krab buried in sand) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (time card appears)

French Narrator: 3,000 years later...

(three aliens float down to the SpongeBob stones)

Alien: To this day, no one knows why these mysterious statues were created or by whom. (an alien opens its mouth, revealing a camera, which takes a picture of the statues) All we know is that the genius of their design has caused the annual migration of jellyfish to their wondrous tune. (jellyfish come and go in and out of the SpongeBob stones' holes. Off in distance, SpongeBob laughs)


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