Episode Transcript: Truth or Square

Transcript

• Ricky Gervais: 10 years ago an unknown pirate from Encino began a decade-long obsession with TV's most beloved an absorbent sponge. And today a mere 10 years later obviously 10 years ago I said that he has traveled all the way to a far off land known as Burbank. To find nicktoons animation studio and meet his idol face to face for the first time in 10 years it's 10 years ago. It's 10 years ago. Let's see what happens yeah.

• (We see posters of SpongeBob SquarePants, Dora Marquez from Dora the Explorer, Cosmo and Wanda from The Fairly OddParents, Uniqua from The Backyardigans, Diego from Go Diego Go, Max and Ruby from Max & Ruby, Kiki Shout Marina and Twist from The Fresh Beat Band, Kai-lan from Ni hao Kai-lan, Skipper from The Penguins of Madagascar, and Carly from ICarly. Patchy gets out of the car.)

• Patchy: Oh. Bye mom. Thanks for the lift. Hey kids. Isn't this exciting? I'm here at nickelodeon home of SpongeBob SquarePants and I'm gonna ask him if he'll be my guest of honor on my tenth fan-iversary tv special! Come on. Ahoy.

• Security Guard: Sir may I help you?

• Patchy: Yes. This is patchy the pirate for SpongeBob SquarePants. I believe he's expecting me. I sent him over 400 letters this week.

• Security Guard: Uh yes. SpongeBob is not here right now sir.
• Patchy: That's okay. I can wait. Oh SpongeBob!

• Security Guard: Sir please step away from the gate.

• Patchy: Aw poopdeck. I was hoping i could ask SpongeBob to phone up some of his famous friends so he could ask them to be guests on my show.

• Security Guard: Uh-huh. Oh. You're here for the casting department.

• Patchy: Yeah.

• Security Guard: In that case, please step right inside, sir.

• Patchy: Woo! Oh, hey, when'll SpongeBob be here? Where's he? At lunch? At an important meeting?

• Security Guard: I'm not sure, sir.

• Patchy: Getting his boat waxed?

• Security Guard: This way, sir.

• Patchy: What's he really like?

• Security Guard: This way, sir.

• Patchy: Does he come in everyday?

• Security Guard: Go this way.

• Patchy: Does he dye his hair?

• Security Guard: Walk this way, sir.

• Patchy: Huh?

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