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Episode Transcript: Atlantis SquarePantis
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Episode Article: Atlantis SquarePantis
Characters
Dialogue
Patchy: Let's go! (Patchy honks)
Patchy: Hey, kids. Rush hour traffic here in Encino is really bad.
Patchy: A little music should calm my jangled nerve. Here's how my dash-in-stereo works. (Patchy breaks his radio)
Patchy: Oh! Me ultra-rare-back-on-track destroyed!
Patchy: And I'm gonna miss the new SpongeBob cartoon if this traffic doesn't move soon! (Patchy cries)
Patchy: (Patchy's cell phone rings) Who's calling?
Patchy: Yes, patchy, here, start talking.
Potty: Hey, patchy, the new spongebob cartoon is about to start.
Potty: Where are you, brawk?
Patchy: Stuck on the 101. Be a dear and record it for me, will you?
Potty: Oh, I threw out the machine in the garbage, brawk!
Patchy: You what?!?
Potty: Oh, calm down, beauty.
Patchy: Potty, you know how important this cartoon is to me!
Patchy: (Someone honks at patchy) Do you mind? I'm trying to talk to my parrot!
Patchy: Sorry, potty. Just some landlubber. (dial tone rings)
Patchy: Potty? Potty? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Patchy: Guah. Dropped again. (Patchy closes his phone) Ahh!
Patchy: Curse this traffic! Oooooh! (Patchy grunts)
Patchy: Ahh, home at last. What the? (His eyes break the sunglasses)
Patchy: Encino, it's gone...Noooooooooooooooo! (Patchy cries)
Patchy: You know, kids, this reminds patchy of a story.
Patchy: Another lost city. Why don't you go check it out?
Patchy: Oh no, Encino.
SpongeBob and Patrick are blowing bubbles.
Patrick: A beautiful Specimen, SpongeBob
SpongeBob: Hurry Patrick, Hurry! (Patrick takes a photo of the bubble)
SpongeBob: How's it look, buddy? Ready for the old scrapbook?
Patrick: More like the scrap-heap. They never come out right! Oh well, let's try again.
SpongeBob: Ok, ready Patrick, this ones gonna be my masterpiece.
Patrick: I'm ready. (SpongeBob blows a bubble in his image.)
SpongeBob Bubble: Hi, Patrick!
Patrick: (Misses a photo of the bubble) Oh I missed it again! Well, this darn camera isn't fast enough.
SpongeBob: Hold on a second, Patrick! Its not the poor camera's fault you cant get a photo
Patrick: It's not?
SpongeBob: No, it's the very nature of the fragile bubble.
Patrick: It IS?
Spongebob: Yes it is my friend, allow me to demonstrate.
Song
SpongeBob: The sun, must set: at the end of every day. And the curtain, must fall: at the end of every play. And every little bubble ever blown must some-day, POP!
Patrick: Like presents, on Christmas day: it doesn't seem to stay
Patrick: Or a cheese souffle, it doesn't last all day
SpongeBob: I will try: again. To blow a bubble, that will last all day.
Patrick: All day
[SpongeBob begins to blow a giant bubble, it captures them both and floats away]
Patrick: Um, SpongeBob
SpongeBob: Not now, Patrick, this bubble's gonna break all records!
Patrick: I hope it doesn't break until we get a bit closer to the ground
SpongeBob: Huh? (looks down) What have I done!? (The two start screaming as the bubble drifts into a cave.)
SpongeBob: We'll never get out of here!
Patrick: NO!
(The bubble is popped by a jagged point on a half of a broken amulet)
Patrick: What happened?
SpongeBob: (pointing to broken amulet) That's what happened
Patrick: Whoa, what is it? It looks really old.
SpongeBob; Antis, what do think that means, Patrick?
Patrick: Antis, Antis...Squarepantis! Probably belonged to your ancient ancestors. (Picks up the half of the amulet) SpongeBob Squarepantis, you must wear the ancient crest of your ancestors for it is your birth right! (shoves into SpongeBob's face)
SpongeBob: (Falling) My birth right! Ow ooh, Ow ooh ow! Let's take it to the bikini bottom museum, they'll know what it is!
Mr. Krabs: (Whistles) Oo...uh...beautiful day for standing outside a museum doin' nothin'.
Security Guard: Whatever you say.
Mr Krabs: (Mr Krabs pretends to be administration) Hello there. Welcome to the museum! That'll be three dollars
Old Lady: But I thought it was free Tuesday?
Mr Krabs: No no no. Today's Monday, otherwise I wouldn't be wearing this 'I hate Mondays' shirt.
Old Lady: Good point
Mr. Krabs: Enjoy the artifacts! (Mutters under breath:) Don't stand in one place too long, people might mistake you for one.
Mr. Krabs: (Hears SpongeBob laughing) SpongeBob! Hew, that was a close one. (Old lady points him out to a police officer then Mr. Krabs runs inside)
Squidward: Neptune's ascension. The only surviving painting from the great lost city of Atlantis. This is just what the doctor ordered, Squiddy. Spending your day studying the Atlantean masters. And best of all, no Sponge... (SpongeBob and Patrick run in excitedly, knocking Squidward over.)
Squidward: AAAAAHHHHH! Oh, would you to watch were you're (Gasps) What is that? What are you doing with the amulet of Atlantis?
SpongeBob: Well, we were...[Cut off by Squidward]
Squidward: (Gasps) You're going to steal it!?
SpongeBob: No Squidward, we'd never....[Cut off by Squidward
Squidward: This is a new low, even for YOU TWO. Lucky for you, I was here today. Stealing artifacts could land you in the stony loneso...ahh! ahh! ahh! ome! You boobs found the missing half to the Atlantean amulet!?
SpongeBob: What's an Atlantean omelet?
Squidward: AMULET, NOT OMELET!!!! It's the key to untold riches!
[Mr Krabs shoves Spongebob and Patrcik over violently and faces Squidward] Mr Krabs: Did somebody say untold riches!?
Squidward: Yes Eugene. The streets are lined with gold, and the street lamps are made with diamonds.
Mr Krabs: DIAMOND LIGHT BULBS!!! I wonder what they make the money out of?
Squidward: For reasons unknown, this great city disappeared one day, but no ruins were ver found. All the inventions that you take for granted, were given to us by the Atlanteans. Their advances in art wealth and weaponry were eons ahead of their time!
SpongeBob: Why is this bubble painted on the mural?
Squidward: That's just the oldest living bubble
SpongeBob: The oldest living bubble, alive! Behold Patrick-the oldest living bubble!
Patrick: This is the most beautiful bubble I've ever seen!
Squidward: That's just a painting you quarter-wit! Ha, quarter-wit, it's less than half. The real bubble lives in Atlantis, some darn old bubble hales in comparison to the art
Mr Krabs: Money
(Sandy very suddenly arrives out of nowhere) Sandy: And science, don't forget science. Whats all the hubba boys?
Squidward: These two chowder-brains found the missing half to the amulet of Atlantis.
Sandy: THE AMULET OF ATLANTIS!!!! Legend says, that when the two halves are joined, the path to Atlantis is opened! Well, what ya all waitin' on? Let's hitch them two doggies up! Go on Squidward!
Mr Krabs: Hurry up Squidward, that money aint gettin' any younger [Squidward connects the two halves and a bright light activates]
Squidward: (Happily)
Sandy: (In Disbelief)
Patrick: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
SpongeBob: Hoo hoo yeah, hoo hoo hoo!
[A van drops from the ceiling]
Squidward: The magical path to Atlantis is a Van?
Mr Krabs: Nice hot rod flames!
Patrick: [Coin spins and attaches itself to the van] What's it doing?
Sandy: Well, holly-wally ding-dang-doo. Would ya' look at that!? Take a gander, y'all!
Squidward: Fabulous decor!
Mr Krabs: Quite a vessel, but who's manning it?
Robot: Greetings. Welcome aboard the seaship Atlantis. This is a nonstop trip, so please take a seat, relax, and we'll be on our way.
Mr. Krabs: Bet there's some loose change in here!
SpongeBob: Ah, so this is what luxury feels like.
Squidward: Ah, what I wouldn't give for a foot-rub.
Robot: Attention passengers, regretfully we lack the fuel needed for forward motion.
Unison: What!?
(Cut to a gas station)
Mr Krabs: Is this some kind of joke? Where's the gas tank?
Robot: We Atlanteans find the use of fossil fuels to be counter-intuitive, and have developed an alternative source we call song.
Mr. Krabs: Huh?
Robot: The engine of this vessel is fueled by song, the more you sing of you desires, the closer to Atlantis you will get. Let us commence singing.
Squidward: Does that make any sense?
SpongeBob: No, but I'm game for singing any day! Sing, sing a song, a song of wanting to move along. To a land where all our dre-e. (The bus lifts but drops when SpongeBob hits a wrong note) Whoops, sorry. To a land where all our dreeeeeams, can finally come true. A bubble I long for, that so eludes me, but soon enough I will seeeeeeeeeeeeeee............
Mr Krabs: Well that's just splendid boy! A land where it rains money! More than you can spend. With fives and tens and fifties and I'll want to be your friend.
Plankton: Ha, ha ha. Such a valiant desire-hehehe. The lost weapons of Atlantis-the most advanced of all time. Soon as this dopey song is done I plan to make them miiiiine!
Sandy: Did you all hear something! I can hardly believe that there's a lost city where having smarts is more important-than being pretty! With all their advanced science, and my painfully large mind!
Sandy #2: [Clone] I bet we can figure out how to make wondrous things, like melons with edible rinds!
Squidward: As a connoisseur of fine art, Im proud to say! I've always seen things in my own special way! 'Art'-lantis with its glorious aesthetics, I'll cop their style in a while- my art will be prophetic!
Patrick: I'm Patrick, I'm Patrick, Patrick-Patrick-Patrick! And I like um, uuuuh, I don't know what I like.
Robot: Warning, you have run out of song fuel.
Unison: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Squidward: Hey look, it's Atlantis.
SpongeBob: Pretty!
Unison: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Bus crashes)
Squidward: You dimwits haven't even been here two minutes and you've already messed up someone's topiary garden.
Mr. Krabs: Go on, SpongeBob. Ring the bell.
SpongeBob: Ring for the king, huh?
Lord Royal Highness: Welcome to Atlantis. I've been expecting you. (Falls down long staircase) Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Lord Royal Highness, but my friends call me LRH.
SpongeBob: My friends call me SpongeBob. I'm here to see the oldest bubble.
LRH: Yes, of course.
Mr. Krabs: What a ripoff! This street ain't gold!
LRH: Oh, if it's gold you want, you'll find it in our vault.
Mr. Krabs: I'm Eugene. I like money.
LRH: Yes, I can see that. Pleasure to meet you. Come, I'll give you the grand tour of our Atlantean fortress. I'm so glad you're all here.
Plankton: They're gone. Now to get to those weapons... Oh! Trapped! Ok, what do I have to work with here? What's this? Owners manual!? Looks like I found my escape route! (Laughs diabolically) Owe!
LRH: For centuries, we Atlanteans spent, nay, wasted our talents and energy building the most sophisticated weaponry to defend ourselves from invaders. But we abandoned the idea of warfare long ago and now all these weapons gather dust behind this locked door as an example of what must be done if one wishes to live in harmony with all creatures of this, or any, world.
Mr. Krabs: (sighs) Eh, harmony shmarmony. When do we get to see the treasure?!
LRH: But of course, follow me.
Mr. Krabs: Comin' through, boys!
Plankton: These Atlanteans leave a room full of the most advanced weaponry unguarded? No wonder they got lost. (Squeezes under door) Oh, my! There will be no one to stop me this time! (Laughs diabolically)
Patchy: Well, bad news, kids. Encino's still lost.
Patchy: Oh! But, at least I got me radio fixed! (Patchy snaps his fingers while listening to it, then, it explodes)
Patchy: Well, enjoy the rest of the show.
(THE REST OF THIS TRANSCRIPT IS WRITTEN BY ME, SPONGY PATTY)
LRH: It is both an honor and a pleasure to welcome you to Atlantis. We haven't had visitors in quite some time. You see being a lost city has its certain disadvantages. Which I digress. Now if you'll just follow me, I'll show you our grandest achievements. (Mr. Krabs grabs Squidward)
Mr Krabs: Squidward! You told me the streets were paved with gold! That street light better be a 600 karot diamond or else! (Starts unscrewing a light bulb)
Mr. Krabs: Hold still, Squidward!
Squidward: (straining) You're standing on my neck!
Mr. Krabs: (finds out light bulb is an ordinary one) What!? (falls)
LRH: Are you alright?
Mr. Krabs: I feel odd. (acts wierdly)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, are you ok?
Mr. Krabs: I know that smell anywhere. Me pockets! They be smelling loot! (He smells money, and his pockets bark and direct him to the Treasure Room, the pockets eat the money)
LRH: Those pockets of yours really have a nose for treasure.
Mr. Krabs: These are me houndsnoop pants.
LRH: What you see here is a glimpse of ancient Atlantean history. Long ago we abandoned our obession with wealth to focus on the pursuit of knowledge. So help yourself to as much as your pockets can carry.
Mr. Krabs: As much as me pockets can carry?
Mr. Krabs (Singing): Oh, if I'd only known when I woke up today, I'd have stopped at me tailors along the way, and had ten more pockets put on me pants, 'cause I think I hear a money avalanche! Look at all this cash, hey, look at all this money! I hope me heart can take it!
Doctor (Not Singing): Clear! (Shocks Krabs)
Mr. Krabs (Singing): I'm alright, sonny! industrial accidents can make quite a mess. Unless you fall into a money press. Oh, make me into money, Mr. wonderful machine, I always knew that me true color was green! Oh, ever since I was a little kid, I dreamed of such a place, yes I did! With mountains of money, and rivers of cash. And a pool of coins to make a splash! Oh, I'll open up a Krusty Krab with patties made of money. They'd be delicious, and expensive, and taste like golden honey! Money and gold and treasure untold! And all of it for me!
SONG OVER
LRH: Mr. Krabs! We're off to see the bubble! Would you care to join us?
Mr. Krabs: Are you kiddin'? I just got here! (Dives into the money)
LRH: Very well, then. Off we go.
Patrick: (Under breath) Spongebob, when are we gonna see the bubble?
SpongeBob: Patrick! Shh!
LRH: Don't dally, lads. You don't want to be left behind, do you?
Spongebob: (Salute) No, sir! Come on along, Patrick!
Sandy: You know, LRH, I was born with a healthy scientific curiosity and I was wondering if I could get a peek at some of your scientific achievements?
LRH: Of course, Miss Cheeks. Here we are, the Combination of all of our technology. I give you the Atlantian hall, of science. (Opens the door, a lot of futuristic gadgets are seen)
Sandy: Hoppin' acorns! Look at all this hi-tech gear! (Looks at one invention) What does this gizmo do?
LRH: It's a bio-mass converting device. It can turn any house-hold object (puts a comb on the platform, it goes in) this comb, for example. And turn it into say, ice cream! (Presses a button and ice cream pops out) Would anyone like to try?
Spongebob and Patrick: Oh! Oh! Me! Me!
LRH: Go ahead! (Hands them spoons, they eat)
Spongebob: Mmm! Comb flavor!
Sandy: What else can it turn things into?
LRH: Actually it can only turn things into ice cream. We haven't worked that bug out, yet. But I can show you the most amazing/fantasic created by Atlantian hands. (Shows them a big machine) Behold. This grand machine allows the user to be broken down into nano-stature. Enabling them to battle germs hand-to-hand.
Sandy: How's it work?
LRH: Please take a seat and I'll explain. (They do so, and metal gears go on their heads) Now, here's how it works--
SpongeBob: Hey cool! (He pushes the center button and disappears into thin air)
Patrick: Where'd SpongeBob go?
LRH: Right now his molocules are being broken into data. Which is assembled into this computer, and stored on these tapes. Then reassembled on a much smalled scale--
Spongebob: Someone help me!
LRH: And finally passed through this tube and into this tank. It contains ever element known to-- (looks closer) Oh, dear heavens! It looks like our scientists were working on a very agressive case of the sniffles. He could be in trouble!
Patrick: Don't worry, SpongeBob! I'm coming to help you! (Pushes the center button and disappears like SpongeBob)
Squidward: (Desprate) Okay, I've seen enough. Let me outta this thing! (Pushes the center button rapidly hoping it will get the gear off his head, he disappears and goes into an 8-bit game) What's going on here, I-- oh no! Ah!(He sees a nose)
SpongeBob: Squidward, don't make any sudden movements! (The nose sneezes out four germs and Squidward falls over, jumps rapidly, and runs)
Squidward: Help, aah! (Spongebob and Patrick follow, the germs chase them, and Sandy beams in)
All: HELP, SANDY!!!
Sandy: Sounds like thems critters is in trouble! (The nose puts Spongebob, Patrick and Squidward in it, and the germs guard Sandy from getting to them)
Sandy: Hold on, fellas! I'll be there soon, as soon as I send these critters to their doom! (A title screen shows like a Nintendo game)
MISSION START
THE GERM WARRIROR
PLAYER 4 START
(c) NICKELDEON 1991
Sandy (Singing): Look out, germs. The end is here, Your days are numbered, 'cause Sandy's here! I'll get these germs, and 'em pay, with some good old fashioned karate. (Hi-yah!) If I borrow some elements from the periodic table I can mix up a brew that is sure to disable any virus, bug, or sniffle that steps into my path. And make them feel my micro-scopic wrath!!!!! Hi-yah! (Hits the nose with a submarine and defeats it, the gang flies out, they all cheer)
GAME
OVER
LRH: Well, shall we continue on with the rest of the tour?
Sandy: Y'all head on without me. (Hits the center button, going in again)
LRH: Well then, good luck. Have fun. We'll see you at dinner. Your friend Sandy certainly is an exciteable one.
SpongeBob: Quite.
Squidward: Somehow I knew I'd get stuck with you yahoo's the longest.
(In the heater vent behind Squidward is Plankton, who chuckles as he found the weapons)
Plankton (Singing): Oh, what a beautiful sight, weapons as far as the eye can see. But which one will be right for me? How do I pick? Which one will do the trick? Which is best to guarentee eternal rest? So many weapons, how do I choose? Look at this one, what a beatiful fuse. And with this one I couldn't lose. That one will surely give them the bluuuuuues! And this one here matches my shoes! Come on, Plankton just pick one and forget about your shoes! Eeny, meeny, minie moe, I pick you, now let's go! (Chooses a huge tank, cut to LRH giving the tour)
Squidward: This stuff is wonderful and all but when are we going to see some real Atlantian culture?
LRH: Gentlemen? What is art?
SpongeBob: Oh, oh! I know, I know! (Squidward violently shoves SpongeBob so he can fit in frame)
Squidward: I thought you'd never ask! Art is the arrangement of elements that effects a sense of beauty.
LRH: Not even close! (Squidward looks shocked) Art is what happens when you learn to dream. (Hands SpongeBob a blue paint brush) Go ahead. Dream a little. (He hits the wall and it magically turns into Spongebob's door)
SpongeBob: It looks like my front door!
LRH: Behold! The hall of arts! (He opens the door, Squidward's mouth opens, they step in)
Squidward: Incredible! (He cries) The creativity! The artistry! (He walks by a painting) This painting is so realistic. It looks like you could step straight into it.
LRH: And you can! (He grabs Squidward and throws him in the painting)
SpongeBob: Whoa!
Squidward: This place is amazing! (Steps into other paintings)
Squidward (Singing): Isn't this great, isn't this neat, I'm a living work of art from my head to my feet! From the very first drawings on walls in caves, art has been what the heart and soul craves! So pick up a brush, a pencil or pen. If you don't like this one, paint it again! From now on please call me Sir Real. (surrel) I can wait for your impression to congeal. Take it from an undersea renniseance man. I'd even look great on the side of your van! Any way you carve it, I am art and art is me. Ask your mama or your dada to tell you about the uh, schisim. Between minimalisim and cubisim. My personality may be of the scinical type. But I've finally found something that lives up to the hype. I can say honestly and with great certaincy, that Atlantis is where I want to spend, eternity (holds note, song over)
Atlantian: Hey can you not sing? I'm trying to model here.
Atlantian Painter: Now hold on, Nazo. Why don't you take five. I'm really diggin' this squid's form. (The other Atlantian sighs and walks away)
Squidward: Look's like I'll be here inspiring these Atlantian art makers with my beauty. You guys go on ahead.
SpongeBob: Okay. Bye, Squidward! (They leave, and Squidward poses)
LRH: Now this section of town is known for it's advances in the science of fondue cooking.
SponeBob: Excuse me, sir this tour has been great and all but uh, can we see the bubble now?
LRH: Do excuse me. Most folks don't stay with the tour this long. Of course you can. First, remember this. This bubble is over one million years old. It was brought here when the first Atlantians colonized this place. Deftly hand carried over billions of light years from our home planet. It is our people's most beloved and treasured ancient relic. But most importanly, remember to... HAVE FUN!!! (Points to where it is, and they go in)
SpongeBob: There it is, Patrick!
SpongeBob and Patrick: The world's oldest living bubble! Whoo! (They land on the safe keeping tube)
SpongeBob: Look at it, Patrick. So ancient. So floaty. It is the most beautiful wrinkled up, dusty old bubble I've ever seen!
Patrick: Like a delicate air rasin! (They slide off)
LRH: Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make ready for tonight's dinner. So I'm just going leave you two friendly strangers alone with our most beloved ancient and fragile Atlantian relic. Join us in the dining hall when you've had an eye full.
SpongeBob: Thank you, Mr. Lord Royal Highness sir. (They stare shove their face in the glass) Just look at it, Patrick. Ah, the stories this bubble could tell. I just wish we could get a closer look (he leans in but the glass moves) Patrick! Get the--
Patrick: Oh golly! Oh, I don't know how much longer I can hold this! (They manage get it back up, and laugh in victory)
SpongeBob: Whoo, that was a close one, buddy!
Patrick: Yeah. We almost popped the most prized possesion of all Atlantiseans! (Laughs)
SpongeBob: Boy, that would have been our greatest blunder without a doubt! But we should go before something bad does happen.
Patrick: Ooh! Let's get a picutre for our scrapbooks before leave.
SpongeBob: Ok!
Both: Cheese! (Patrick's flash pops the bubble)
Spongebob: (With teeth closed) Patrick. Did you hear something?
Patrick: (With teeth closed) I thought I heard a popping sound?
Spongebob: Mmm-hmm. (They look at each other screaming at the empty space and their skin peels off, and Spongebob's eyes land in his mouth, cut to the gang at dinner)
LRH: So sorry I'm late. The tour ran a little long. So, how are you all enjoying our beloved city?
Squidward: I'm never leaving this place. I've learned more about painting in a few hours here than I did in four years of community college. (Shows LRH a painting)
LRH: Abseloutley marvelous! And Eugene, I assume the hall of treasure was everything you hoped for? (Mr. Krabs is brain-washed by the money) And Sandra, how did you find our labratories?
Sandy: They are just amazing! I used your invention room to make this!
LRH: Splendid. What does it do.
Sandy: I'll show you. (Pushes a button and the food goes directly in her) Now I can eat underwater without removing my helmet! This is just the beginning! I should have a cure for the common cold up and running by tommorow afternoon with your hi-tech lab! (SpongeBob and Patrick run in nervous)
LRH: Spongebob, Patrick, tell me. How did you enjoy our rarest and most prized posession?
SpongeBob: (Gulps) We have to go back to Bikini Bottom now!
All: Huh?
LRH: Ahahaha! Come. Enjoy the best Atlantian cuisine has to offer before you go.
(Spongebob and Patrick shake)
Squidward: What is wrong with you two morons?
SpongeBob: We have to go home now!
Squidward: Why would you want to leave a paradise like Atlantis?
Spongebob: Because, uh, Gary misses me? (Cuts to Spongebob's house, Gary is having a party with other snails)
Patrick: WE DESTROYED YOUR MOST PRIZED POSESSION! (Shuts mouth)
LRH: (Pauses) Ahahaha! If there's one thing we Atlantians enjoy, it's a healthy dose of dark humor!
Spongebob: It's not a joke, we burst the bubble! (Sandy and Squidward gasp)
LRH: Haha. That's not the real bubble. It's just a prop for the tourists. (Holds up the bubble in a bottle) This is the real deal.
Spongebob and Patrick: Ooh! (Patrick takes a flash and it pops)
LRH: (Snarl) Summon the Atlantian Royal Guard! (They come and grunt) Sieze these hostile bubble poppers!
Sandy: Well don't just stand there! Move! (She pushes them, they attack with a trident, pickaxe, and mace.)
Mr. Krabs: Can't you go any faster, Sandy?
Sandy: Maybe, if y'all use your feet!
Mr. Krabs: Never mind! Just keep doing what you're doing!
Sandy: [Groans] (the guards shoot balls at them and Sandy grabs Patrick and flings him at them like a Ninja would) Come on, Patrick! (They shoot and Sandy uses Spongebob as a shield)
Spongebob: (Laughs) That tickles!
Sandy: Hang in there, little buddy. (Grabs Squidward and puts their shooting balls on his tentacles and shoots them at the guards, then uses Krabs)
LRH: Don't let them get away! (They all confront Plankton's tank and Plankton aims at them while laughing evily)
Patchy: This is the end of patchy. No water, no food, and still no Encino.
Patchy: And here come the vultures the pick me bones! (Potty flies up)
Patchy: Shiver me timbers! It's potty! I wonder what parrot tastes like...
Patchy: Come back here!
Patchy: Uh-oh. Here come the hallucinations.
SpongeBob: (Spongebob laughs) Patchy, it's me. SpongeBob SquarePants. (Patchy is excited, and then he cries)
SpongeBob: Don't lose hope. Everything will be all right when you get into Encino.
Patchy: But, Encino is gone.
SpongeBob: It's not gone, if you believe.
Patchy: Believe, believe. (Falls asleep)
Patchy: (gasps) Welcome to Encino! It's back!
Patchy: (Hugs it) SpongeBob was right! All I had to do was believe. (laughs)
(Song)
You got to believe. It was out of sight. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. The sky above, and the ground below. Bring me back into Encino. It was lost, some time ago, I'm just glad to be back home. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. You got to believe. I'm back in Eencino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. Baby: Ohh! Ohh! You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to...
Patchy: (Potty brawks, and then, pokes Patchy) Ow! Ow!
Patchy: It was all a hallucination. Encino's still gone!
(Patchy cries)
Patchy: Oooooo, a sandwich. Potty, you're a lifesaver.
Patchy: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Patchy: Oh, potty, you know I don't like mayo!
Patchy: Here you want some? Go on. Take it.
Patchy: You know, I don't like the mayonnaise, you know.
Patchy: You know, when it gets above 130, 135, it gets kind of grody, you know.
(Cut to Spongebob segment)
Plankton: (Laughs evily) Cower to me, fools! I have comandeered the most powerful weapon in the Atlantian arsenal! Now bow before the new king of Atlantis! And prepare to taste my wrath! (He stomps on the switch but is too small to make it work) Yeah! Huh? Uh, uh I mean, uh, "PREPARE TO TASTE MY WRATH!!!!!!" (He stomps on it rapidly, harder) Oh, you! (Grabs rock, struggles) Prepare to taste my wrath! (Throws the rock on the switch and it works)
Computer: LAUNCH SEQUENCE DEPLOYED! (The tank shakes and Plankton laughs evily, everyone gasps and they hold each other, it blows out ice cream, a cow moos, Spongebob and Patrick eat the ice cream)
Patrick: Plankton's wrath tastes like ice cream.
Both: Thanks, Plankton.
Plankton: Ice cream? It shoots ICE CREAM!!!??? (He gets out) Over-sized ice cream maker! (Kicks it) Yah! Ouch! Ow!
LRH: Look! A talking spec! This talking spec will make a fantastic (looks at Spongebob and Patrick) replacement for our recently deflated national treasure! (Looks at Plankton)
LRH (Baby talk): Won't you, little fella?
Plankton: I'LL DESTROY ALL OF YOU-- (LRH squeezes him)
LRH: Amazing! This is so much better than that dusty old bubble! (Plankton is in the cage)
Plankton: You haven't seen the last of me! When I get out of here I'll hunt you all down like a pack off-- (someone take's a picture) Hey! Can't you read! (Points at sign) No flash photography! (The gang is getting on the van)
LRH: So nice to meet you all. I hope you have a safe journey back home. And do come back any time.
SpongeBob: So long. And thanks for the tour. (Everyone is in, and LRH closes the door, takes the amulet off the van and gives it to a guard)
LRH: Dispose of this quickly. We can't survive anymore visitors like these.
Guard: (Salutes) Sir, yes sir. (He runs to the dump and throws it in there, LRH waves good-bye as they go off)
LRH: I thought sponges were supposed to make life easier. (Cut to bus)
SpongeBob (Singing): Goodbye, Atlantis. But we really have to go. Back to a little town, that is the greatest place I know-oh-oh-oh-oh! Back to Bikini Bottom! I can hardly wait!
Mr. Krabs (Singing): But what about the treasure? It was really great!
SpongeBob: (Singing): I love Bikini Bottom! it's where my Garry is!
Sandy (Singing): But Atlantis had that science stuff at which I was a whiz!
SpongeBob (Singing): Soon I'll see the Krusty Krab. Where I'm happily employed!
Patrick (Singing): But Atlantis had the oldest bubble which I cruely destroyed!
SpongeBob (Singing): You can't beat Bikini Bottom! No place is so nice!
Squidward (Singing): But Atlantis was a fabulous, artistic paradise!
SpongeBob (Singing): Sorry, Squidward. But it's the end of our Atlantian vacation!
Squidward (Singing): And back to my depressing life of quiet desperation.
SpongeBob (Singing): Good-bye, Atlantis. We're Bikini Bottom bound!
Squidward (Singing): Please turn this bus around!
SpongeBob (Singing): We had our fun!
Patrick (Singing): We sure did!
SpongeBob (Singing): But now we're done.
Sandy (Singing): And I'm bummed.
SpongeBob (Singing): We're on our way!
Sandy (Singing): Can't we stay?
SpongeBob (Singing): So now we say good-bye!
Mr. Krabs: I think I'm gonna cry!
Patrick: Me too!
Spongebob (Singing): Good-bye, Atlantis. We're Bikini Bottom bound. There's no place like home!
Mr. Krabs: There's no place like Atlantis!
SpongeBob (Singing): I can't wait to get home.
Mr. Krabs: I don't wanna go back!
SpongeBob (Singing): We're Bikini Bottom bound!
Sandy: Please don't make us leave!
SpongeBob (Singing): We're Bikini Bottom bound!
Squidward: Stop saying that!
SpongeBob (Singing): I even love the sound!
All (Singing): Good-bye Atlantis!
SpongeBob (Singing): Bikini Bottom is the greatest place to be! I can--
All (Singing): Good-bye Atlantis!
(CUT TO PATCHY SEGMENT)
Patchy: Well, pretty good story, huh, kids?
Patchy: I found Encino.
Patchy: But, it's all tiny. Somebody must've...
Patchy: Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhhh!
Norbluckfive's father: Sorry, sir. But, our son norbluckfive was playing with his shrink-a-tron again.
Patchy: No, no, no, no! I want encino full size again!
Patchy: There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
Norbluckfive's mother: Ok, bring it in, norglonfive.
Norbluckfive's mother: We'll fix your town, beardy.
Patchy: Beardy?
Patchy: Arrr! Arrr! Arrrr! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh!
Patchy: Well, everything's back to the right size, eh, potty?
Patchy: Potty?
Potty: Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg!
Patchy: Um, I'm a little busy right now, but, you, can stop by for your old pal Patchy.
Patchy: And some more SpongeBob SquarePants. Bye. Potty, let go of me.
(SpongeBob laughs)
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