Episode Transcript: Gary in Love

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One Coarse Meal
	The Play's the Thing

Episode Article: Gary in Love

Characters

Dialogue

(episode begins at SpongeBob's house, where Gary is watching television)

Monica: Help! Help! (cut to the TV. A pirate appears)

Pirate: (laughs heartily when a heart shaped box of chocolates is thrown at him) Oh! Right in me crows nest! (faints)

Brad: Monica!

Monica: (gasps) Brad! (runs to him and they embrace)

Brad: Oh, Monica, I've thought I might never find you. (Gary tears up) I promise never to leave your side.

Monica: Oh, Brad.

Brad: Oh, Monica. (Gary is about to cry when SpongeBob turns off the TV)

SpongeBob: Do you know what today is, little guy?

Gary: Meow?

SpongeBob: It's "take Gary for a walk in a park day!"

Gary: (bored) Meow. (goes in the other direction but SpongeBob lassos him with a leash. Bubble-wipe to the Snail Park where all the other snails are. SpongeBob and Gary walk in)

SpongeBob: Isn't this great, Gary? A whole park full of your own species. (Gary sees that all the other snails are bored) Go ahead, have a good time. (sees two owners sleeping on a bench. Walks and sits down between them) I'll just sit down here for a sec. (falls asleep with the two owners. Gary sees two other snails on the swing feeling bored. Then he sees one snail about to climb up the ladder where the slide is next to and falls down feeling bored. Gary then spots an attractive snail on a seesaw. His eyes turn into hearts and he slithers to the other end. The snail sees Gary)

Gary: (to Mary; romantically) Meoooow.

Mary: (to Gary; romantically) Meooow. (the two snails seesaw up and down. Suddenly a tough snail stops the seesaw and catapults Gary away)

Gary: MREOOOW REOOOOW REOOOOOOOOOW REOOOW! OOF! (the snail, who is wearing what appears to be a beret, slithers up to Gary)

Snail Boss: Hey, lightweight! What do you think you're doing with my goil? (to Mary) Come on Mary, let's go.

Mary: Mreoooow. (slithers next to Gary, who smiles at her)

Snail Boss: (to Gary) You've just made a big mistake, pal.

Gary: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... (both growl at each other until SpongeBob picks Gary up)

SpongeBob: Say goodbye to your friends, Gary, playtime's over. I've got to fix us some dinner. (walks off with Gary in his hands)

Gary: (to Mary) Meoooow.

Mary: (to Gary) Meoooow. (Mable walks up and picks up Mary)

Mable/Monica: Let's go, Mary. (walks off)

Snail Boss: Hey, this ain't over, runt! When I get through with youse, the doctor won't know which way to sew your lips back on... to! (two other angry snails, one wearing a baseball cap and another with spikes on top of his shell, slither up to their leader) That little runt is going to get what's coming to him! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob fixing up some seaweed noodle stew in the kitchen)

SpongeBob: Mmm-mmm! Seaweed noodle stew. (Gary is drawing a picture of Mary)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: (sets the seaweed noodle stew over the picture of Mary) Bon appetit, Gary! I made it with extra love. (Gary imagines the stew turning into the shape of Mary and kisses it) Not exactly what I had in mind, but knock yourself out. (exits. Gary continues to kiss the seaweed noodle stew, but then suddenly stops, realizing it's just stew. He sighs sadly. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob in his bedroom, stretching) One, two. One, two. (Gary comes slithering into SpongeBob's room, looking sad) One, two. One- oh, there you are! That sure was a knock out dinner, eh?

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Come on, Gary, it's time for beddy bye! (sets Gary on his newspaper bed) Night night, Gare-bear. (turns off the light and both he and Gary fall asleep. Soon after, the camera zooms inside Gary's head. There, we find him dreaming that him and Mary are playing on a seesaw. Mary slithers toward Gary and they both kiss with their lips when the dream ends. The camera zooms outside Gary's head, and Gary wakes up from his dream. Gary slithers out of SpongeBob's house. The next morning, the foghorn alarm goes off and SpongeBob wakes up with a smile and a yawn) Good morning, Gary! (notices that Gary is not there) Hmm, where is he? Oh, he's probably using his snail box. That was a pretty noodley stew he ate last night. (goes over to the guest room where the litter box is located) Peek-a-boo! (notices that Gary is not there either) Hmm? Not in here either. (goes downstairs to the kitchen) Gary? Where are you? (notices a empty plate of seaweed noodle stew) I am going to have to teach that snail how to clean up after himself. (picks up the plate and notices the picture of Mary that Gary drew) What's this? Some sort of ransom note? Holy Neptune, my Gary has been petnapped by a deranged snail lover! (goes outside) Don't worry Gare-bear, I'll save you! (bubble-wipe to Gary slithering toward the Snail Park, where he looks for Mary. He looks in a pipe)

Gary: Meow? (sees a silhouette of a girl snail on a slide. Rushes to meet her, only to find it's a disgusting snail)

Disgusting Snail: (low voice) Meeooooooooow...

Gary: Meow reow. (slithers away. The Snail Gang enters the park)

Snail Boss: After me, fellas. (they slither inside the park through a hole in the gate)

Evil Snail #2: (struggles to get through the gate's hole, as the spikes on top of his shell get in the way) Hey, how come we don't never come through the front, guys?

Snail Boss: 'Cos bad guys don't never use the front door!

Evil Snail #2: (gets through the gate hole) Well, I think that that's pretty ridiculous. (they slither toward the other snails who are playing and doing stunts)

Snail Boss: (to all the other snails) All right, listen up! Any of youse seen a snail come through here? About yay-tall, (indicates height) a shell, couple of eyes? (cut to a wide view of the Snail Park. All the other snails don't understand the Snail Boss)

Evil Snail #2: I think you need to be more descriptive.

Snail Boss: Uhh, okay. Let's see here. Uh, this particular snail thinks it's real funny to make goo-goo eyes at my goil. (cut to the same wide view from before. All the other snails laugh and continue playing and doing stunts) Hey, what youse giggling at? They's giggling at me! All right, that's it! (cut to the same wide view) Youse all goin' on my list! Youse got that? You're on the list! (they slither off through the hole but the snail with spikes on top again gets stuck. After a struggle, he sighs. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob running through town looking for Gary)

SpongeBob: Gary? Gary? Where are you, Buddy? (stops and slides on some trail of snail slime. Seeing this, he gasps) Snail slime! Looks like could be Gary's. (touches the snail smile with his finger) Color's right, consistency matches... Now for the true test. (uses his tongue and licks the slime) Uh huh, it is Gary's slime! I'm on the trail, Gary! (follows Gary's snail slime with his tongue. Cut to Gary slithering on the sidewalk looking for Mary and her owner. He slithers through dozens of snails with their owners, who stop and look both ways, followed by a dozen worms and their owners. Suddenly he sees Mary with her owner. He slithers toward her while all the other snail and worm owners go across the street. Gary sees Mary and her owner walking inside the pet store and goes inside himself. Then he bumps into the pet store owner)

Harold: (picks up Gary) Well, hello there, little fellow! Are you a stray? (sets Gary on a sale cage) There, now, isn't that better?

Gary: (to Harold, sadly) Meow reow. (sees Mary leaving outside the pet store with Mable. A few seconds later, the snail gang slither inside the pet store and Gary hides in his shell. The gang slither toward Harold and ask where Gary is)

Snail Boss: Meow meow meow meow?

Harold: No, no I haven't seen any stray snails come in here.

Snail Boss: (to the other two angry snails) He's trying to pull a fast one, fellas. (smiles evilly) Why don't we give him a taste of our special brand of swift justice? (time card appears)

French Narrator: Two hours later... (cut to the pet store, which is all broken and torn inside. The snail gang stand there, indicating that they wrecked the pet store. Harold sits in a fetal position)

Snail Boss: Ha! That's enough, boys. I've think we've done a thorough job.

Evil Snail #2: Yeah. Let's go back to finding that snail. (whacks the cash register next to Harold and it drops to the floor. Then the snail with the red cap sees the sale cage, which is not broken)

Evil Snail #3: Hey boss, there's one left.

Snail Boss: Oh yeah? (slithers toward the cage with a bat) I know you're in theres, you little runt! (breaks the sale cage with the bat, revealing a big green vicious worm. It barks loudly) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (worm attacks him as he screams)

Evil Snails #2 and #3: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (the snails run off)

Snail Boss: HEY! HEY! HELP! HELP, MOMMY! MOMMY! (Gary escapes and Harold spots him)

Harold: You! (Gary just keeps on running) Come back here! You gotta help me clean this place up! (Gary slithers out of the broken pet store, leaving Harold to talk to himself) You brought this on yourself, Harold. No I didn't, Harold. Yes you did, Harold. Harold, I did not. (Gary slithers across the street when a boat pulls up. Mable and Mary are inside the boat and Mable honks the boat horn)

Mable/Monica: Come on, move it! (Gary sees Mary. His eyes become googly and hearts float around) Get out of the road! (drives around Gary and off. Gary is about to go after her when two of the snail gang members show up and grab Gary by the tail)

Evil Snail #2: Where do you think you're going? (Gary sees and hears Mary meowing for help. Snails #2 & #3 try to grab Gary) Get' em! (Gary jumps out of the way and the two evil snails collide. Their eyestalks get tangled. As they struggle to get free, Gary chases after the boat, galloping up and using their tangled eye stalks as a catapult. Gary flies in mid-air until he notices that snails cannot fly. Gary falls onto a driver's head. The driver screams and drives erratically. Soon, the boat pulls up directly behind Mable's boat. Gary jumps off the stranger's boat onto Mable's and lands safely in the back of the boat seat. He slithers toward Mary)

Gary: (to Mary; romantically) Meoooow.

Mary: (to Gary; romantically) Meooow. (they drive past SpongeBob still following Gary's slime trail. He stops and turns)

SpongeBob: Gary? Gary?! (chases after the boat. Cut to the boat. Gary and Mary purr at each other happily until Mable sees Gary in her boat)

Mable/Monica: What the? (stops the boat and SpongeBob crashes into the motor) What do you think you're doing in my car? No free rides, loafer! (picks up Gary, but just as she's about to throw him out, SpongeBob climbs up to them)

SpongeBob: (to Mable) Hold it right there! Hands off my Gary, you snail napper!

Mable/Monica: Snail napper? (gets out of the boat and puts down Gary) I don't want your dumb ol' snail.

SpongeBob: Oh yeah? I suppose he wandered out of the house in the middle of the night just so he could jump into your car.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Not now, Gary, I'm scolding. And I suppose... (stops himself) Wh-wh-what?

Gary: Meow meow meow meow. Meow.

SpongeBob: You did wander out of the house on your own? But why? (Mary comes slithering next to Gary. The two purr at each other happily) Oh, I see why. Good old-fashioned amore! (just then, the Snail Boss catches up to Gary)

Snail Boss: Hey! This ain't over yet, runt! (the two snails start growling at each other when a voice is heard. It is that of Brad from the show Gary watched at the beginning of the episode)

Brad: Monica? Monica!

Mable/Monica: (gasps) Brad! (the two run to each other and embrace)

Brad: Oh, Monica. I thought I might never find you, Monica. I was just taking Billy here for a walk. (camera pans down to reveal that "Billy" is a handsome snail standing next to Brad. Mary turns around and slithers towards Billy)

Mary: (to Billy; romantically) Meoooow.

Billy: (handsomely, to Mary) Meow. (Gary and the Snail Boss stop growling at each other and notice Mary and Billy in love)

Snail Boss: Huh?

Gary: (at the same time) Meow?

Brad: I promise to never again leave your side. Let's go get a steaming hot cup of joe. (the two start to walk off with their snails)

Mable/Monica: Oh, Brad.

Brad: Oh, Monica.

SpongeBob: That's gotta hurt, buddy.

Gary: (dejectedly) Meow reow.

Snail Boss: (smiles at Gary) Yeah. Come on, runt, I'll show you this great dumpster where we can get some seaweed noodle stew.

Gary: (smiles) Meow? (he and the Snail Boss slither off toward said dumpster)

SpongeBob: Don't stay out too late, Gary! (sighs happily) They grow up so fast!

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