Episode Transcript: Krusty Dogs

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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Whelk Attack|Whelk Attack]]
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|[[Episode Transcript: The Wreck of the Mauna Loa|The Wreck of the Mauna Loa]]
 
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==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
(The episode starts at the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties.)<br>
+
(the episode starts at the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh. Delicious.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh. Delicious. (popping and squishing sounds repeat over and over as SpongeBob makes more Krabby Patties and puts them on the grill. Puts them in the freezer. Rolls the Krabby Patty with cutouts into a roll, and a duck quacks when SpongeBob suddenly looks at the Krabby Patty. Squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a top hat) Top of the morning to you! (laughs. More squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into Gary)
  
(Popping and squishing sounds repeat over and over as SpongeBob makes more Krabby Patties and puts them on the grill. He puts them in the freezer.)<br>
+
'''Krabby Patty Gary:''' Meow. (even more squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a telephone. SpongeBob picks up the receiver and holds it to his side)
  
(SpongeBob rolls the Krabby Patty with cutouts into a roll, and a duck quacks when SpongeBob suddenly looks at the Krabby Patty.)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Krusty Krab, SpongeBob speaking. (laughs. Puts down the receiver. The telephone rings, causing SpongeBob to pick up the receiver again) Gary, are you there? Gary, I know you're there. I can hear you breathing. (puts down the receiver again. Squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into the shape of a sausage. Gasps) Ooh!(puts the Krabby Patty sausage into a pot with tongs. Closes the pot. Time card appears)
  
(Squishing sounds play, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a top hat.)<br>
+
'''French Narrator:''' One wiener later... (SpongeBob excitedly opens the door to Mr. Krabs' office)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Top of the morning to you! (laughing)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs! This wiener tastes just like a Krabby Patty! Maybe we can add them to the menu!
  
(More squishing sounds play, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into Gary.)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm not impressed.
  
'''Krabby Patty Gary:''' Meow.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I made it with leftover ingredients.
  
(Even more squishing sounds play, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a telephone.)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Now I'm impressed! (Frank walks into the door to the Krusty Krab)
  
(SpongeBob picks up the receiver and holds it to his side.)<br>
+
'''Frank:''' Hmm. I could've sworn that sign said "open". (cut to Squidward sighing with the Krusty Krab sign behind him)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Krusty Krab, SpongeBob speaking. (laughing) (puts down the receiver)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Once in a while, I need to breathe in and not smell grease. Or the stench of my miserably failed life. (blinks) Talking to myself... again. (Frank looks through the kitchen window, to see SpongeBob demonstrate how he made the Krusty Dog)
  
(The telephone rings, causing SpongeBob to pick up the receiver again.)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' And then, I just cook it, like this... (puts the Krusty Dog in the pot)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Gary, are you there?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Go on.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Gary, I know you're there. I can hear you breathing.<br>
+
'''Frank:''' My, what an interesting shape. Are those for sale?
  
(SpongeBob puts down the receiver again.)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Why? Would you like to buy one?
  
(Squishing sounds play, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into the shape of a sausage. SpongeBob gasps.)<br>
+
'''Frank:''' Well, that would depend on the price.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Would you pay the same as what a Krabby Patty costs?
  
(SpongeBob puts the Krabby Patty sausage into a pot with tongs)<br>
+
'''Frank:''' Hmm... Sure, I suppose so.
  
(SpongeBob closes the pot)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' How about double?
  
'''French Narrator:''' One wiener later...<br>
+
'''Frank:''' Now you're talking!
(SpongeBob excitedly opens the door to Mr. Krabs' office)<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs! This wiener tastes just like a Krabby Patty! Maybe we can add them to the menu!<br>
+
'''Customer:''' Krabby Patties again? (sighs) If only there were something else.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm not impressed.<br>
+
'''Customer #2:''' Hey, what you got there, Frank?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I made it with leftover ingredients.<br>
+
'''Frank:''' It's new. Tastes just like a Krabby Patty, but it's shaped like a wiener!
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Now I'm impressed!<br>
+
'''Customers:''' (talking) Well, that sounds very interesting!
  
(Frank walks into the door to the Krusty Krab)<br>
+
'''Customer:''' Hey, I'd like to request a wiener.
  
'''Frank:''' Hmm. I could've sworn that sign said "open".<br>
+
'''Customer #2:''' Me too!
  
(Cuts to Squidward sighing with the Krusty Krab sign behind him)<br>
+
'''Customer #3:''' Me too!
  
'''Squidward:''' Once in a while, I need to breathe in and not smell grease.<br>
+
'''Customers:''' (all chanting) Wieners! Wieners! Wieners! (Mr. Krabs goes up a ladder, wheezing. Chalk squeaking sounds are heard, while Mr. Krabs writes "KRUSTY DOG .. ... 3.99" and "WITH CHEESE ... 4.99")
  
'''Squidward:''' Or the stench of my miserably failed life. (blinks) Talking to myself... again.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, what's that noise?
  
(Frank looks through the kitchen window, to see SpongeBob demonstrate how he made the Krusty Dog)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Excruciating.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' And then, I just cook it, like this... (puts the Krusty Dog in the pot)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Up here, boy! Take a look!
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Go on.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I can't read it from here, Mr. Krabs! What's it say?
  
'''Frank:''' My, what an interesting shape. Are those for sale?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' It says... "Krusty Dogs! Only $3.99! Or $4.99 with cheese."
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Why? Would you like to buy one?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' $4.99?! That's highway robbery!
  
'''Frank:''' Well, that would depend on the price.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Avec fromage, Monsieur Squidward. Avec fromage.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Would you pay the same as what a Krabby Patty costs?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' My Krusty Dog...handwritten on the menu! Oh, pinch me, Squidward.
  
'''Frank:''' Hmm... Sure, I suppose so.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Pinch yourself, you ninny. (time card appears)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' How about double?<br>
+
'''French Narrator:''' The following day... (SpongeBob is flipping Krabby Patties on the grill)
  
'''Frank:''' Now you're talking!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! 3 more Krusty Dogs, pronto!
  
'''Customer:''' Krabby Patties again? (sighs) If only there were something else.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain! (puts the Krusty Dogs in the pot)
  
'''Customer:''' Hey, what you got there, Frank?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! 3 more orders of Krusty Dogs! Extra Krusty.
  
'''Frank:''' It's new. Tastes just like a Krabby Patty, but it's shaped like a wiener!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, Mr. Krabs, we sure are getting a lot of orders for Krusty Dogs!
  
'''Customers:''' (talking) Well, that sounds very interesting!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yep!
  
'''Customer:''' Hey, I'd like to request a wiener.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, I'll get those going right after I finish cooking up these Krabby Patties.
  
'''Customer:''' Me too!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, forget about making those patties. Just make the wieners! (gives SpongeBob the order)
  
'''Customer:''' Me too!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' "Just make the wieners"?
  
'''Customers:''' (all chanting) Wieners! Wieners! Wieners!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Um, excuse me, Mr. Krabs. Where are you going with that ladder? Mr. Krabs?
  
(Mr. Krabs goes up a ladder, wheezing.)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm just going to make a few changes to the Krusty Krab menu, that's all.
  
(Chalk squeaking sounds play, while Mr. Krabs writes "KRUSTY DOG .. ... 3.99" and "WITH CHEESE ... 4.99")<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Changes?
  
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, what's that noise?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, that reminds me. Do you have an eraser I could borrow?
  
'''Squidward:''' Excruciating.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Eraser?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Up here, boy! Take a look!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ah, never mind, I'll just cross it off. (chalk squeaks as Mr. Krabs draws an X over "Krabby Patty") No more Krabby Patties. (dramatic music plays while SpongeBob whimpers with his eyes slightly smaller, and he falls. An ambulance comes. SpongeBob whimpers more)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I can't read it from here, Mr. Krabs! What's it say?<br>
+
'''Paramedic:''' Okay, just breathe normally, son. (SpongeBob whimpers even more)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' It says... "Krusty Dogs! Only $3.99! Or $4.99 with cheese."<br>
+
'''Paramedic:''' There you go, that's it. There, he's starting to revive!
  
'''Squidward:''' $4.99?! That's highway robbery!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I had this horrible dream that Mr. Krabs was never gonna let me cook Krabby Patties again. (scraping sounds are heard as Mr. Krabs takes away the grill)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Avec fromage, Monsieur Squidward. Avec fromage.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Pardon me. (more scraping sounds. SpongeBob starts crying)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' My Krusty Dog...handwritten on the menu! Oh, pinch me, Squidward.<br>
+
'''Paramedic:''' We're losing him! (Mr. Krabs puts the grill in the trash heap. Bubble-wipe to later)
  
'''Squidward:''' Pinch yourself, you ninny.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob... SpongeBob... Wake up...
  
'''French Narrator:''' The following day...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Where am I? And what are these paramedics doing here?
  
(SpongeBob is flipping Krabby Patties on the grill)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' You'e back in your old kitchen, and the pair of paramedics were here to revive you.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! 3 more Krusty Dogs, pronto!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I was asleep?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah. But just for a little while. So I only docked your pay for the time you were unconscious.
  
(SpongeBob puts the Krusty Dogs in the pot)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, isn't that where the grill used to be?
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! 3 more orders of Krusty Dogs! Extra Krusty.<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, Mr. Krabs, we sure are getting a lot of orders for Krusty Dogs!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Maybe, but now we have this! (takes off sheets and reveals Krusty Dog-making machine)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yep!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' And what about my... my spatula?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, I'll get those going right after I finish cooking up these Krabby Patties.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I got you a new one! (holds up tongs and clangs them, then handing them to SpongeBob, who can't hold the tongs, and they get his nose, making it deflate and fall down. everyone but SpongeBob laughs)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, forget about making those patties. Just make the wieners! (Gives SpongeBob the order)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Alright, those wieners aren't gonna rotisserie themselves. Everybody, back to work! (everyone but SpongeBob goes away. Gives the Krusty Dog-making machine to SpongeBob)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' "Just make the wieners"?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain... (clangs tongs against Krusty Dog-making machine. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking up to Squidward)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Um, excuse me, Mr. Krabs. Where are you going with that ladder? Mr. Krabs?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward, can I talk to you for one second?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm just going to make a few changes to the Krusty Krab menu, that's all.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' I dunno. That's a pretty long talk.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Changes?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Has anything ever happened at your job that made it, well, not as fun as it used to be?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, that reminds me. Do you have an eraser I could borrow?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Well, actually, yes.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Eraser?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Really? What was it?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ah, never mind, I'll just cross it off. (Chalk squeaks as Mr. Krabs draws an X over "Krabby Patty") No more Krabby Patties.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Being hired.
  
(dramatic music plays while SpongeBob whimpers with his eyes slightly smaller, and he falls. An ambulance comes)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know why, but things just aren't the same since Krusty Dogs were added to the menu.
  
(SpongeBob whimpers more)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, my boy, I realized long ago that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that could make this job any more boring or humiliating or demeaning than it already is. (bubble-wipe to Squidward in a Krusty Dog costume with a sign saying "TRY NEW KRUSTY DOGS!")
  
'''Paramedics:''' Okay, just breathe normally, son.<br>
+
'''Billy:''' Look at that guy dressed like a hot dog, mommy.
  
(SpongeBob whimpers even more)<br>
+
'''Billy's Mom:''' Let that inspire you to stay in school, Billy. (Billy kicks Squidward. Mr. Krabs nails Krusty Dog posters on the pole)
  
'''Paramedics:''' There you go, that's it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs?
  
'''Paramedics:''' There, he's starting to revive!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ahoy, SpongeBob! How goes the wieners?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I had this horrible dream that Mr. Krabs was never gonna let me cook Krabby Patties again.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Meh, I was kinda wondering, could we just go back to selling Krabby Patties?
  
(Scraping sounds play as Mr. Krabs takes away the grill)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (eyes widen) What on earth for!? Krusty Dogs was your best idea ever, boy!
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Pardon me. (more scraping sounds)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I know, I- well, I guess I sort of just miss the Krabby Patties. After all, they're what gave this place it's name!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (crying)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, good point.
  
'''Paramedics:''' We're losing him!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, I mean, don't you think we should- (Mr. Krabs covers up "Krab" in "The Krusty Krab" with a board that says "DOGS." Gasps) "Krusty Dog"?! Those wieners have got to go. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob serving Krusty Dogs) Here you are, hungry customers, your delicious Krusty Dogs.
  
(Mr. Krabs puts the grill in the trash heap)<br>
+
'''Customer #4:''' They do look delicious.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob... SpongeBob... Wake up...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yes. (whispering) Eat one and you will develop an unsightly skin condition. (serves another Krusty Dog) Here's your foot long, sir!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Where am I? And what are these paramedics doing here?<br>
+
'''Customer #5:''' Thanks! 12 inches of deliciousness!
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' You'e back in your old kitchen, and the pair of paramedics were here to revive you.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah! You know what gives them that added flavor?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I was asleep?<br>
+
'''Customer #5:''' No, what?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah. But just for a little while. So I only docked your pay for the time you were unconscious.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (whispering) Nose hairs and recycled dental floss.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, isn't that where the grill used to be?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, what are you doing?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Maybe, but now we have this! (takes off sheets and reveals Krusty Dog-making machine)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We have got to get rid of these wieners and bring back the Krabby Patty!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' And what about my... my spatula?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, I never thought I'd be saying this, but count me in.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I got you a new one! (holds up tongs and clangs them, then handing them to SpongeBob)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray! (a customer is about to eat his Krusty Dog, but Squidward goes through the entrance)
  
(SpongeBob can't hold the tongs, and they get his nose, making it deflate and fall down)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Help! I'm having terrible abdominal pain! I think it was the... the... line.
  
'''Everyone but SpongeBob:''' (laughing)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wiener.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Alright, those wieners aren't gonna rotisserie themselves. Everybody, back to work! (everyone but SpongeBob goes away)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' The wiener!
  
(Mr. Krabs gives the Krusty Dog-making machine to SpongeBob)<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. I am but a simple old-timey gentleman. I came here for one purpose today-
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain... (clangs tongs against Krusty Dog-making machine)<br>
+
'''Grandma:''' So I said, if it didn't smell so bad, but it tastes so-
  
(transitions to SpongeBob walking up to Squidward)<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Quiet, Granny! I'm talkin'!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward, can I talk to you for one second?<br>
+
'''Grandma:''' Oh.
  
'''Squidward:''' I dunno. That's a pretty long talk.<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' And that is to loudly decry these modern new fangled days of wieners, and to beg for a return to a simpler time, a Krabby Pattier time.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Has anything ever happened at your job that made it, well, not as fun as it used to be?<br>
+
'''Customer #6:''' I'm not really concerned about possible ill health effects. How about you guys?
  
'''Squidward:''' Well, actually, yes.<br>
+
'''Customer #7:''' Nah.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Really? What was it?<br>
+
'''Customer #8:''' How about nostalgia?
  
'''Squidward:''' Being hired.<br>
+
'''Customer #9:''' Never heard of him.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know why, but things just aren't the same since Krusty Dogs were added to the menu.<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Okay, that didn't work at all.
  
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, my boy, I realized long ago that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that could make this job any more boring or humiliating or demeaning than it already is.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' It only seemed to increase their appetite for wieners!
  
(transitions to Squidward in a Krusty Dog costume with a sign saying "TRY NEW KRUSTY DOGS!")<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' We need stronger tactics.
  
'''Billy:''' Look at that guy dressed like a hot dog, mommy.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Right. Something that would make Mr. Krabs' whole wiener thing blow right up in his face.
  
'''Billy's mom:''' Let that inspire you to stay in school, Billy.<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Yeah. Blow up. (honk) Squidward, that's it! (laughing as he runs to the kitchen. Grabs a pack of balloons and makes a Krusty Dog, pumps into it, and squirts mustard on it)
  
(Billy kicks Squidward)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Beautiful. (gives the customer the Krusty Dog, but there is a cord in it now) Your Krusty Dog, sir, with extra mustard.
  
(Mr. Krabs nails Krusty Dog posters on the pole)<br>
+
'''Nat:''' Thanks.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Can I bring you something else? Okay, I guess not. Wait for it, SpongeBob... wait for it... NOW! (starts pumping air into the Krusty Dog)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ahoy, SpongeBob! How goes the wieners?<br>
+
'''Customer #6:''' Yeah, remember that? That was- Oh, my Neptune! That Krusty Dog is about to explode!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Meh, I was kinda wondering, could we just go back to selling Krabby Patties?<br>
+
'''Nat:''' What? Where? (Krusty Dog explodes and throws the meat at all the other customers, along with screaming. Customers walk out complaining)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (eyes widen) What on earth for!? Krusty Dogs was your best idea ever, boy!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Have a nice day!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I know, I- Well, I guess I sort of just miss the Krabby Patties. After all, they're what gave this place it's name!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, what happened in here!? Where are all me customers? What are we gonna do?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, good point.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh, I know the answer. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob making Krabby Patties)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, I mean, don't you think we should-<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hey, SpongeBob, have you seen Mr. Squidward?
  
(Mr. Krabs covers up "Krab" in "The Krusty Krab" with a board that says "DOGS")<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I think he's outside on his break.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) "Krusty Dog"!? Those wieners have got to go.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Perfect. And keep them Krabby Patties coming, boy!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Here you are, hungry customers, your delicious Krusty Dogs.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain! (cut to Squidward in a Krabby Patty costume with a sign saying "THEY'RE BACK!")
  
'''Customer:''' They do look delicious.<br>
+
'''Billy:''' Mom, look, it's a guy dressed as a Krabby Patty.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Yes. Eat one and you will develop an unsightly skin condition.<br>
+
'''Billy's Mom:''' It's never too soon to start picking a good college, Billy. (kicks Squidward)
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Here's your foot long, sir!<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' Thanks! 12 inches of deliciousness!<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah! You know what gives them that added flavor?<br>
+
 
+
''Customer:''' No, what?<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Nose hairs and recycled dental floss.<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, what are you doing?<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We have got to get rid of these wieners and bring back the Krabby Patty!<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, I never thought I'd be saying this, but count me in.<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray!<br>
+
 
+
(A customer is about to eat his Krusty Dog, but Squidward goes through the entrance)<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' Help! I'm having terrible abdominal pain! I think it was the... the... line.<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wiener.<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' The wiener!!!<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. I am but a simple old-timey gentleman. I came here for one purpose today-<br>
+
 
+
'''Grandma:''' So I said, if it didn't smell so bad, but it tastes so-<br:
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Quiet, Granny! I'm talkin'!!!<br>
+
 
+
'''Grandma:''' Oh.<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' And that is to loudly decry these modern new fangled days of wieners, and to beg for a return to a simpler time, a Krabby Pattier time.<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' I'm not really concerned about possible ill health effects. How about you guys?<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' Nah.<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' How about nostalgia?<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' Never heard of him.<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Okay, that didn't work at all.<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' It only seemed to increase their appetite for wieners!<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' We need stronger tactics.<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' Right. Something that would make Mr. Krabs' whole wiener thing blow right up in his face.<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Yeah. Blow up. (honk) Squidward, that's it! (laughing as he runs to the kitchen)<br>
+
 
+
(SpongeBob grabs a pack of balloons and makes a Krusty Dog, pumps into it, and squirts mustard on it)<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Beautiful.<br>
+
 
+
(SpongeBob gives the customer the Krusty Dog, but there is a cord in it now)<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Your Krusty Dog, sir, with extra mustard.<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' Thanks.<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Can I bring you something else?<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, I guess not.<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wait for it, SpongeBob... wait for it... NOW! (starts pumping air into the Krusty Dog)<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' Yeah, remember that? That was- Oh, my Neptune! That Krusty Dog is about to explode!<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' What? Where? (Krusty Dog explodes and throws the meat at all the other customers, along with screaming)<br>
+
 
+
'''All:''' (complaining)<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Have a nice day!<br>
+
 
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, what happened in here!? Where are all me customers? What are we gonna do?<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh, I know the answer.<br>
+
 
+
(transitions to SpongeBob making Krabby Patties)<br>
+
 
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hey, SpongeBob, have you seen Mr. Squidward?<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I think he's outside on his break.<br>
+
 
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Perfect. And keep them Krabby Patties coming, boy!'''<br>
+
 
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'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain!<br>
+
 
+
(cuts to Squidward in a Krabby Patty costume with a sign saying "THEY'RE BACK!")<br>
+
 
+
'''Billy:''' Mom, look, it's a guy dressed as a Krabby Patty.<br>
+
 
+
'''Billy's Mom:''' It's never too soon to start picking a good college, Billy.
+
  
 
{{Transcripts/Season 7}}
 
{{Transcripts/Season 7}}
 
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 7]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 7]]

Latest revision as of 04:31, 10 October 2022

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Tunnel of Glove The Wreck of the Mauna Loa

Episode Article: Krusty Dogs

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(the episode starts at the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties)

SpongeBob: Ooh. Delicious. (popping and squishing sounds repeat over and over as SpongeBob makes more Krabby Patties and puts them on the grill. Puts them in the freezer. Rolls the Krabby Patty with cutouts into a roll, and a duck quacks when SpongeBob suddenly looks at the Krabby Patty. Squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a top hat) Top of the morning to you! (laughs. More squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into Gary)

Krabby Patty Gary: Meow. (even more squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a telephone. SpongeBob picks up the receiver and holds it to his side)

SpongeBob: Krusty Krab, SpongeBob speaking. (laughs. Puts down the receiver. The telephone rings, causing SpongeBob to pick up the receiver again) Gary, are you there? Gary, I know you're there. I can hear you breathing. (puts down the receiver again. Squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into the shape of a sausage. Gasps) Ooh!(puts the Krabby Patty sausage into a pot with tongs. Closes the pot. Time card appears)

French Narrator: One wiener later... (SpongeBob excitedly opens the door to Mr. Krabs' office)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! This wiener tastes just like a Krabby Patty! Maybe we can add them to the menu!

Mr. Krabs: I'm not impressed.

SpongeBob: I made it with leftover ingredients.

Mr. Krabs: Now I'm impressed! (Frank walks into the door to the Krusty Krab)

Frank: Hmm. I could've sworn that sign said "open". (cut to Squidward sighing with the Krusty Krab sign behind him)

Squidward: Once in a while, I need to breathe in and not smell grease. Or the stench of my miserably failed life. (blinks) Talking to myself... again. (Frank looks through the kitchen window, to see SpongeBob demonstrate how he made the Krusty Dog)

SpongeBob: And then, I just cook it, like this... (puts the Krusty Dog in the pot)

Mr. Krabs: Go on.

Frank: My, what an interesting shape. Are those for sale?

Mr. Krabs: Why? Would you like to buy one?

Frank: Well, that would depend on the price.

Mr. Krabs: Would you pay the same as what a Krabby Patty costs?

Frank: Hmm... Sure, I suppose so.

Mr. Krabs: How about double?

Frank: Now you're talking!

Customer: Krabby Patties again? (sighs) If only there were something else.

Customer #2: Hey, what you got there, Frank?

Frank: It's new. Tastes just like a Krabby Patty, but it's shaped like a wiener!

Customers: (talking) Well, that sounds very interesting!

Customer: Hey, I'd like to request a wiener.

Customer #2: Me too!

Customer #3: Me too!

Customers: (all chanting) Wieners! Wieners! Wieners! (Mr. Krabs goes up a ladder, wheezing. Chalk squeaking sounds are heard, while Mr. Krabs writes "KRUSTY DOG .. ... 3.99" and "WITH CHEESE ... 4.99")

SpongeBob: Squidward, what's that noise?

Squidward: Excruciating.

Mr. Krabs: Up here, boy! Take a look!

SpongeBob: I can't read it from here, Mr. Krabs! What's it say?

Mr. Krabs: It says... "Krusty Dogs! Only $3.99! Or $4.99 with cheese."

Squidward: $4.99?! That's highway robbery!

Mr. Krabs: Avec fromage, Monsieur Squidward. Avec fromage.

SpongeBob: My Krusty Dog...handwritten on the menu! Oh, pinch me, Squidward.

Squidward: Pinch yourself, you ninny. (time card appears)

French Narrator: The following day... (SpongeBob is flipping Krabby Patties on the grill)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! 3 more Krusty Dogs, pronto!

SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain! (puts the Krusty Dogs in the pot)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! 3 more orders of Krusty Dogs! Extra Krusty.

SpongeBob: Wow, Mr. Krabs, we sure are getting a lot of orders for Krusty Dogs!

Mr. Krabs: Yep!

SpongeBob: Yeah, I'll get those going right after I finish cooking up these Krabby Patties.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, forget about making those patties. Just make the wieners! (gives SpongeBob the order)

SpongeBob: "Just make the wieners"?

SpongeBob: Um, excuse me, Mr. Krabs. Where are you going with that ladder? Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: I'm just going to make a few changes to the Krusty Krab menu, that's all.

SpongeBob: Changes?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, that reminds me. Do you have an eraser I could borrow?

SpongeBob: Eraser?

Mr. Krabs: Ah, never mind, I'll just cross it off. (chalk squeaks as Mr. Krabs draws an X over "Krabby Patty") No more Krabby Patties. (dramatic music plays while SpongeBob whimpers with his eyes slightly smaller, and he falls. An ambulance comes. SpongeBob whimpers more)

Paramedic: Okay, just breathe normally, son. (SpongeBob whimpers even more)

Paramedic: There you go, that's it. There, he's starting to revive!

SpongeBob: I had this horrible dream that Mr. Krabs was never gonna let me cook Krabby Patties again. (scraping sounds are heard as Mr. Krabs takes away the grill)

Mr. Krabs: Pardon me. (more scraping sounds. SpongeBob starts crying)

Paramedic: We're losing him! (Mr. Krabs puts the grill in the trash heap. Bubble-wipe to later)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob... SpongeBob... Wake up...

SpongeBob: Where am I? And what are these paramedics doing here?

Mr. Krabs: You'e back in your old kitchen, and the pair of paramedics were here to revive you.

SpongeBob: I was asleep?

Mr. Krabs: Yeah. But just for a little while. So I only docked your pay for the time you were unconscious.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, isn't that where the grill used to be?

Mr. Krabs: Maybe, but now we have this! (takes off sheets and reveals Krusty Dog-making machine)

SpongeBob: And what about my... my spatula?

Mr. Krabs: I got you a new one! (holds up tongs and clangs them, then handing them to SpongeBob, who can't hold the tongs, and they get his nose, making it deflate and fall down. everyone but SpongeBob laughs)

Mr. Krabs: Alright, those wieners aren't gonna rotisserie themselves. Everybody, back to work! (everyone but SpongeBob goes away. Gives the Krusty Dog-making machine to SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain... (clangs tongs against Krusty Dog-making machine. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking up to Squidward)

SpongeBob: Squidward, can I talk to you for one second?

Squidward: I dunno. That's a pretty long talk.

SpongeBob: Has anything ever happened at your job that made it, well, not as fun as it used to be?

Squidward: Well, actually, yes.

SpongeBob: Really? What was it?

Squidward: Being hired.

SpongeBob: I don't know why, but things just aren't the same since Krusty Dogs were added to the menu.

Squidward: SpongeBob, my boy, I realized long ago that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that could make this job any more boring or humiliating or demeaning than it already is. (bubble-wipe to Squidward in a Krusty Dog costume with a sign saying "TRY NEW KRUSTY DOGS!")

Billy: Look at that guy dressed like a hot dog, mommy.

Billy's Mom: Let that inspire you to stay in school, Billy. (Billy kicks Squidward. Mr. Krabs nails Krusty Dog posters on the pole)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, SpongeBob! How goes the wieners?

SpongeBob: Meh, I was kinda wondering, could we just go back to selling Krabby Patties?

Mr. Krabs: (eyes widen) What on earth for!? Krusty Dogs was your best idea ever, boy!

SpongeBob: I know, I- well, I guess I sort of just miss the Krabby Patties. After all, they're what gave this place it's name!

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, good point.

SpongeBob: Yeah, I mean, don't you think we should- (Mr. Krabs covers up "Krab" in "The Krusty Krab" with a board that says "DOGS." Gasps) "Krusty Dog"?! Those wieners have got to go. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob serving Krusty Dogs) Here you are, hungry customers, your delicious Krusty Dogs.

Customer #4: They do look delicious.

SpongeBob: Yes. (whispering) Eat one and you will develop an unsightly skin condition. (serves another Krusty Dog) Here's your foot long, sir!

Customer #5: Thanks! 12 inches of deliciousness!

SpongeBob: Yeah! You know what gives them that added flavor?

Customer #5: No, what?

SpongeBob: (whispering) Nose hairs and recycled dental floss.

Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing?

SpongeBob: We have got to get rid of these wieners and bring back the Krabby Patty!

Squidward: SpongeBob, I never thought I'd be saying this, but count me in.

SpongeBob: Hooray! (a customer is about to eat his Krusty Dog, but Squidward goes through the entrance)

Squidward: Help! I'm having terrible abdominal pain! I think it was the... the... line.

SpongeBob: Wiener.

Squidward: The wiener!

Old-Timey SpongeBob: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. I am but a simple old-timey gentleman. I came here for one purpose today-

Grandma: So I said, if it didn't smell so bad, but it tastes so-

Old-Timey SpongeBob: Quiet, Granny! I'm talkin'!

Grandma: Oh.

Old-Timey SpongeBob: And that is to loudly decry these modern new fangled days of wieners, and to beg for a return to a simpler time, a Krabby Pattier time.

Customer #6: I'm not really concerned about possible ill health effects. How about you guys?

Customer #7: Nah.

Customer #8: How about nostalgia?

Customer #9: Never heard of him.

Old-Timey SpongeBob: Okay, that didn't work at all.

Squidward: It only seemed to increase their appetite for wieners!

Old-Timey SpongeBob: We need stronger tactics.

Squidward: Right. Something that would make Mr. Krabs' whole wiener thing blow right up in his face.

Old-Timey SpongeBob: Yeah. Blow up. (honk) Squidward, that's it! (laughing as he runs to the kitchen. Grabs a pack of balloons and makes a Krusty Dog, pumps into it, and squirts mustard on it)

SpongeBob: Beautiful. (gives the customer the Krusty Dog, but there is a cord in it now) Your Krusty Dog, sir, with extra mustard.

Nat: Thanks.

SpongeBob: Can I bring you something else? Okay, I guess not. Wait for it, SpongeBob... wait for it... NOW! (starts pumping air into the Krusty Dog)

Customer #6: Yeah, remember that? That was- Oh, my Neptune! That Krusty Dog is about to explode!

Nat: What? Where? (Krusty Dog explodes and throws the meat at all the other customers, along with screaming. Customers walk out complaining)

SpongeBob: Have a nice day!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what happened in here!? Where are all me customers? What are we gonna do?

SpongeBob: Ooh, I know the answer. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob making Krabby Patties)

Mr. Krabs: Hey, SpongeBob, have you seen Mr. Squidward?

SpongeBob: I think he's outside on his break.

Mr. Krabs: Perfect. And keep them Krabby Patties coming, boy!

SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain! (cut to Squidward in a Krabby Patty costume with a sign saying "THEY'RE BACK!")

Billy: Mom, look, it's a guy dressed as a Krabby Patty.

Billy's Mom: It's never too soon to start picking a good college, Billy. (kicks Squidward)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
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Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
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