Episode Transcript: Back to the Past

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SpongeBob's Last Stand
	The Bad Guy Club for Villains

Episode Article: Back to the Past

[edit] Characters

SpongeBob
Patrick
Mermaid Man
Barnacle Boy
Man Ray
Squilliam (cameo)
Dirty Bubble (cameo)
Young Mermaid Man (voiced by Adam West)
Young Barnacle Boy (voiced by Burt Ward)
Many alternate SpongeBobs, Patricks, Mermaid Mans, Barnacle Boys, and Man Rays

[edit] Dialogue

(episode begins at Jellyfish Fields)

SpongeBob: Oh, boy! Jellyfishing, I can't wait! Can you, Patrick? (gets no answer. Patrick is shown eating tartar sauce) Patrick? Patrick?

Patrick: Did you say something?

SpongeBob: I said... (gets hit in the eye with a jellyfishing net) Ow!

Patrick: I'm sure how to respond to that.

SpongeBob: (gasps happily) Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! (Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are sleeping)

Barnacle Boy: (to Mermaid Man) Hey, we're stuck here, remember?!

Mermaid Man: Why is that?

Barnacle Boy: Because you forgot to turn the motobeel.

SpongeBob: Oh, heroes! Is there anything we can do? (bubble-wipe to sometime later. SpongeBob and Patrick are pushing Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy while they grunt and get tired) So is that it?

Barnacle Boy: Yes, but we don't usually do this but in term for pushing of those hills. There's something we'd like you to see, but you must promise to not touch anything.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Okay! (bubble-wipe to later. Barnacle Boy opens the door of a locker) Wow!

SpongeBob: Oh, the magic clock from episode 1582! Man Ray's power glove.

Patrick: A pair of binoculars.

Mermaid Man: Yes boys, this is our Locker of Memories]. It contains... uh! Uh! I can't remember.

Barnacle Boy: All these thing contain memories of superheroic adventures.

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! Take a look at this.

SpongeBob: It's Dirty Bubble's Bubble Launcher!

Barnacle Boy: Right. (launches Dirty Bubble, who laughs. SpongeBob and Patrick are frightened by this) Hehehe, frightened boys?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Ye...ah...!

Barnacle Boy:' Don't afraid. (pops Dirty Bubble)

Mermaid Man: And 'til someone makes troubles, there is no thing for afraid! (cut to Barnacle Boy showing a Time Machine)

Barnacle Boy: This is our time machine. It transports us to future or past, according to time and location that we choose.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooo!

Barnacle Boy:' Unfortunately, the cosmoses who are all ordering the order of history are so dangerous, we chose to leave it alone, so you mustn't touch--

Patrick: (yells) Hey, the snack machine took my quarter. I want my crunchy munchinies.

Barnacle Boy: No!

Patrick: Stupid box! (presses the start button on the time machine and the alarm goes off) How do I get that thing fixed?

Barnacle Boy: You fool! Do you realize what you've done?

Patrick: Well, I lost a quarter. (Locker of Memories closes and shrinks, disappearing. The Locker is then shown going through space and time. Inside, SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy scream as they begin to become distorted, as does the Locker. Some clocks are shown, with one zooming in as it turns around and its hands begin to spin rapidly. All four characters are seen again and are quickly distorted. The Locker flies with clocks surrounding it and rotates as it descends and turns the screen black. The Locker is then shown at an earlier Bikini Bottom)

SpongeBob: Oh, where are we? (sees a sign reading "Bikini Bottom, population 38." Gasps) It can't be. Bikini Bottom has at least 39 people living here.

Barnacle Boy: Maybe if you hadn't touched the time machine like we told you, Patrick, we wouldn't be in this mess. Hopefully we hadn't changed anything with our presence.

SpongeBob: Oh! Everything looks so fashioned.

Man Ray: (laughs wickedly, destroys Bikini Bottom, and laughs wickedly again) I'm ready to rule the world and its riches. With this weapon, nothing can stop me.

Young Mermaid Man: That's what you do.

Man Ray: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!?

Young Mermaid Man: Sorry, Man Ray, but I, Mermaid Man, and my ever co-op, Barnacle Boy, will fight you.

Young Barnacle Boy: You tangled with the wrong fishhook with justice Man Ray.

Young Mermaid Man: Now prepare for a heavening help with quick dry tartar sauce.

Mermaid Man: Wow, our bodies are so tight.

Barnacle Boy: What went wrong? (young MM & BB prepare to dunk tartar sauce on a screaming Man Ray)

Young Barnacle Boy: (notices the tartar sauce can is empty) Jumpin' jellyfish, what happened to the tartar sauce?

Patrick: (burps) Good thing that was around. I was starving. (Man Ray shoots the tartar sauce can up while laughing) This is creeping me out.

SpongeBob: But Patrick, what about Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?

Patrick: Well, I don't got time for that.

Mermaid Man: Where are you going boys?

Patrick: (he and SpongeBob are in the Locker) I just want to go home!

Barnacle Boy: When are we going to have those two classified as villains? (the Locker shrinks and disappears)

Mermaid Man: They left us here. What are we going to do? I'm sure it'll all work out.

Young Mermaid Man: Don't worry, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are always here to help the elderly. There's something familiar about these two, Barnacle Boy... But I just can't remember. I just can't put my flipper on it.

Young Barnacle Boy: Hey, neat hat.

Barnacle Boy: Thanks I... uh... (Man Ray laughs wickedly)

Young Mermaid Man: Let's get these poor defenseless saviors out of harm's way. (carries modern-day MM away, with young BB doing the same with his own modern-day self. The time travel sequence plays again, only this time SpongeBob and Patrick distort several times)

Patrick: Well, that's more like it. Back in good old present day Bikini Bottom. (they enter the city, but it isn't the typical Bikini Bottom; its name is now "Man-rayo-polis" and it generally resembles a 1984-like dystopian city)

SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick. we were all born in our places of time. (notices a "citizen") Hello, fellow citizen. (the "citizen" has a camera head. Notices Squilliam, who is putting a poster up) Hello Squilliam.

Squilliam: Man Ray is great.

SpongeBob: Yeah. Must be taking care of his community service obligations.

Patrick: That'll teach him to jaywhat.

SpongeBob: I-- Uh, Patrick, do you notice anything different about our prison?

Patrick: Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the clatter of prison chains.

SpongeBob: I said "Is there something odd about Bikini Bottom since we got back?"

Patrick: No! But yes! Just look at the giant medicine billboard. It's missing a bolt on the bottom right corner.

SpongeBob: Even worse than that, Patrick. The police got new uniforms.

Patrick: Oh no! What did they do with those old ones?

SpongeBob: Ah ye. What happened to the Krusty Krab? (walks to the Krusty Krab with Patrick. There is a large sign outside. Reads the sign) "The designed area where you are permitted by Man Ray, your ruler, to obtain sandwiches using "Man Ray dollars"?" The city under life, tradity, and all this.

Patrick: I'm out of Man Ray dollars?

SpongeBob: No, Patrick. It means we somehow changed the course of history when we went to the past! Well, in this reality, Man Ray is our ruler! Oh, we got to do something!

Patrick: For what?

SpongeBob: One of these suspecting citizens of the 3-World that do in a time crisis. See if I still have a job. (they walk in)

Man Ray: (he is shown on a screen inside; to a customer) Hey, you're not even fast enough!

SpongeBob: (sees what he thinks is Squidward, reading a magazine) Excuse me, Squidw-- (it is Barnacle Boy)

Dystopian Barnacle Boy: Yes?

SpongeBob: Barnacle Boy? What are you doing here?

Dystopian Barnacle Boy: I'm just taking life in wasted stuff.

Dystopian Mermaid Man: (rings the bell) Order up.

SpongeBob: Mermaid Man...! He is wearing a hairnet...! What happened? Why are the two greatest heroes ever stuck in this greasy spoon not combating the evils of Man Ray?

Dystopian Mermaid Man: I lost a desire and enough physique to fight long ago, kid. Flipping patties is so much easier on the joints when you're my age.

'SpongeBob: What about the young "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy"? Surly, they refuse to surrender without a fight.

Dystopisan Mermaid Man: You spaghetti for brains, kids? We are the younger ones. The older ones... (begins to cry) ...lost our souls and buried in this very restaurant. (cries)

SpongeBob: I'm so sorry for your loss of yourself.

Dystopian Barnacle Boy: I hate to break up the memorial service, but we're out of tartar sauce out here.

Dystopian Mermaid Man: Tartar sauce? The topping that destroyed life as we knew it. If only my tartar sauce attack hadn't failed that day, we wouldn't be living in this wasteland. (they've indeed run out of tartar sauce) We're already out?

Patrick: Yep. (he's eaten the tartar sauce) It's chewy that's-- (burps)

Dystopian Mermaid Man: I knew I recognized you from somewhere and you ate that tartar sauce on that day. You realize what you've done?

SpongeBob: Sorry, Mermaid Man. We didn't mean to destroy your lives you held dear. What do we say to try to make things right? With your help, of course.

Dystopian Mermaid Man: I'm teaming up with you to do jack diddly squat! Besides, Man Ray had to buy the necks! O-E! Evil.

SpongeBob: Does that mean the defeat was so dramatic?

Dystopian Mermaid Man: Barnacle... No! It means he put the electoral collar on me. That won't allow me to leave the restaurant.

SpongeBob: Oh, let's get the nasty thing off of you. (tries to remove the collar)

Dystopian Mermaid Man: You two idiots have done enough damage already.

SpongeBob: I can't get a good rip on it. I must need a better angle. Sorry. Sorry. Patrick, can you give me a hand on here? (Patrick joins him)

Dystopian Mermaid Man: Keep away from me! (SpongeBob and Patrick grunt as they try to remove the collar, but they end up knocking MM into a shelf. Mermaid Man gets a bump on his head, but the collar is gone)

SpongeBob: Ta-da! You're free. Can we coax you and Barnacle Boy out of retirement to save the new universe?

Dystopian Mermaid Man: I suppose you've proven your medal, but I'll have my eye on you two. Now let's pop that Dirty Bubble.

SpongeBob: Actually, we're fighting Man Ray.

Dystopian Mermaid Man: Well, in that case, let the light house of justice shine on Ray Man.

SpongeBob: Okay, I suppose that's close enough. Back to the past, gents! (points at Patrick) To stop you from eating the tartar sauce again for the first time. Huh? (time travel montage plays again)

Man Ray: (destroys Bikini Bottom and laughs twice) I am ready to rule the world and its riches.

'Young Mermaid Man: Not so fast, Man Ray!

Young Barnacle Boy: We've got a little surprise for you.

Dystopian Mermaid Man: (he, along with SpongeBob, Patrick and Dystopian Barnacle Boy, come out of the Locker) Keep your tongue out of my tartar sauce!

Utopian Mermaid Man: Imposters!

Dystopian Mermaid Man: Who are you calling Imposters, Imposter? I must prevent our tartar sauce from being eaten by that... that fool!

Utopian Mermaid Man: If I want my tartar sauce, I have to go through me first!

Dystopian Mermaid Man: I'm gonna make you eat those words!

Utopian Mermaid Man: Bring it! (Dystopian MM punches his utopian self) Take this! (punches his dystopian self) I'll never let you win!

Dystopian Mermaid Man: Oh, yes, I will!

Young Mermaid Man: What do you make of this, Barnacle Boy?

Young Barnacle Boy: Tangled Timeline, Mermaid Man. I--

Man Ray: (laughs wickedly) You old coops provided me the perfect distraction. Now, prepare to be "disappeared"!

Young Mermaid Man: Sounds good on paper, you prefayer of pure evil. But fortunately, we all know what happens to paper underwater. (pulls out a piece of paper, which disintegrates) Barnacle Boy, the tartar sauce! (they shake the can to pour tartar sauce on Man Ray, but only 2 Patricks come out from it, falling to the ground).

Second Patrick: Wow... I've never eaten that much tartar sauce.

First Patrick: Yes, you have.

Second Patrick: Well, it sure ain't sittin' right.

Man Ray: (laughs wickedly) Foolish mools. Once again, your boffonery has given victory! (blows up the tartar sauce can. Laughs wickedly) Oh, I'm going to save for this. It's not every day I get to defeat Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, 3 times over! (he is about to shoot both SpongeBobs, Patricks and all three Mermaid Mans and Barnacle Boys but another Locker of Memories comes)

Third SpongeBob: (he, along with a third Patrick, comes out of the Locker) Patrick! Don't eat the tartar sauce!

Man Ray: Ha! You're too late. Your best friend beat you to it. Now, prepare to taste laser! (another Locker appears with a fourth SpongeBob and Patrick falling out of it, screaming; confused) So, how--?

Fifth SpongeBob: (yet another Locker appears. The door opens, revealing a fifth SpongeBob and Patrick) I told you, we had to go back further!

Man Ray: Uh...? (tries to think, but another Locker shows up, this time with a third modern-day Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy)

Third Mermaid Man: Up, up, and away! (they jump out and fall to the ground)

Sixth SpongeBob: (another Locker opens with a sixth SpongeBob and Patrick) Now, Patrick! (he, along with the sixth Patrick, pour tartar sauce on the third Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy and drops the can on them)

Man Ray: I can't get my head around this. Where are they all coming from? (another Locker shows up) Another machine? (a second Man Ray comes out)

Second Man Ray: (shoots his own whole Locker, including its time machine, and laughs wickedly) I took care of your blasted time machine! (laughs again and flies away)

First Man Ray: Oh... I've got to sit down and think this through. (sits on a random log placed on the ground)

Young Mermaid Man: (chains the first Man Ray) Gotcha! You'll have plenty of time for thinking in the Stony Lonesome.

First Man Ray: Uh... I'm sorry. Did you say something? I'm still trying to comprehend what just happened here.

Young Mermaid Man: It's pretty simple, really. You were defeated by a codry of continuum cruising crime stoppers. Thank you, SpongeBob and Patrick.

Four SpongeBobs and Two Patricks: You're welcome!

Seven SpongeBobs and Six Patricks: (another Locker, which holds seven SpongeBobs and six Patricks comes) Oh, hi there! Hello! Hello! Hello!

One of the SpongeBobs: We just wanted to come back and revisit the day that evil was defeated forever.

SpongeBobs: (another Locker appears) Hey, how you doing?

Patricks: We're here.

SpongeBobs and Patricks: (two Lockers appear) Oh, hi there! How you doing? Hello! Hello! (more Lockers appear) Oh, hi there! (even more Lockers appear as the camera zooms out and eventually zooms away from Earth. More Lockers appear in outer space) Hello! Hello!

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