Episode Transcript: Earworm

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Episode Article: Earworm

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(episode begins at the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo-doo!
Doo doo doo-doo!
Trying to stop it is futile. 
So just listen now to my Musical Doodle. (continues doo-ing. Squidward growls) Doo-doo--

Squidward: (grabbing SpongeBob's lips) Would you stop that incessant babbling?! (lets go of his lips)

SpongeBob: (lips throbbing) Thowwy Thquidward. (Squidward growls once more)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What are you doing? It's closin' time! (hands SpongeBob a mop and bucket) Now get out there and swab the poop deck.

SpongeBob: (wearing mop like hair) Aye-aye, Captain. (starts doo-ing and slides out the room. Squidward cleans the register. Doo-ing continues and SpongeBob starts cleaning to the music) I'm mopping and I'm singing my musical doodle. (Squidward walks over to SpongeBob and gets hit with the mop. Stops singing)

Squidward: Would you quit it with that tune already?

SpongeBob: Sorry, its just so catchy.

Squidward: I don't care. Just can it! (walks back to the register)

Squidward: I'll cleanse myself by listening to a little public radio.(turns on radio and plays "Musical Doodle")

SpongeBob: Ooh, it's "Musical Doodle," Squidward! (sings with the radio)

'Round and 'round the record spins all day.
Listen again. 
It takes you far away. 
Trying to stop it is futile. 
So just listen now to my Musical Doodle! (starts doo-ing)

Squidward: (turns off radio) Figures you would be into that hideous pop fodder.

SpongeBob: It's a sign!

Squidward: A sign that you're a true boob?

SpongeBob: Yes-No! That this song and I were meant to be together.

Squidward: Great, now I hate two things.

Mr. Krabs: All right boys, time to go ho-

Squidward: (bursts out the door yelling) FREEDOM!

Mr. Krabs: Okay, SpongeBob time to hit the road. SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Doo-doo DOO DOO DOO THE MUSICAL DOODLE! LISTEN AGAIN TO THE MUSICAL DOODLE!

Announcer: And that's the new song by The Sonars called "Musical Doodle."

SpongeBob: (sighs happily) "Musical Doodle."

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Oh. Goodnight, sir. (floats out the door still singing "Musical Doodle")

Mr. Krabs: What am I running here, a nuthouse? (SpongeBob flies through the streets singing when a record version of "Musical Doodle" is heard and he falls down. Getting up, he sees a record shop playing "Musical Doodle." SpongeBob happily takes out a dollar. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob's house. Gary is eating his dinner when SpongeBob arrives)

SpongeBob: Oh, Gary! (Gary slithers away. SpongeBob grabs him) Just the pal I'm looking for. Want to hear my new record? (Gary shakes his head "No." Chuckles) I knew you would! (puts him down and opens his shell revealing a record player. Places the record on the turntable. "Musical Doodle" plays)

Record: 'Round and 'round the record spins all day.
Listen again.
It takes you... (SpongeBob joins in with the song)

Record and SpongeBob: ...far away.
Trying to stop it is futile.
So just listen now to my Musical Doodle! (continues singing until late into the night) 
Listen again to the Musical Doodle!

(SpongeBob looks up to see Gary is already asleep)

SpongeBob: WHOO! Let's spin that record one more time! (just then, he looks at the clock reading 9: 00) Wow. It's late. I have to get to sleep. (takes the record off the turntable and puts it back in the sleeve) Come to bed when you're ready, Gary. (walks upstairs to his bed humming. Climbs into bed and sighs happily. Suddenly, he hears himself whistling the song. Covers his mouth, but he still continues whistling it. Thinking quickly, he takes a cork and plugs up his mouth. His holes make a hollow whistling to the tune. Wakes up) Oh, fine. I'll just listen to it one more time to get it out of my system. (bubble-wipe to him downstairs listening to the song)

Record and SpongeBob: 'Round and 'round the record spins all day. 
Listen again.
It takes you far away.
Trying to stop it is futile.
So just listen now to my Musical Doodle!
Listen again to the Musical Doodle! (SpongeBob giggles)

SpongeBob: Let's listen to it one more time. (puts the needle on the record again)

Record and SpongeBob: 'Round and 'round the record spins all day.

SpongeBob: One more time!

Record and SpongeBob: 'Round and 'round the record...

(bubble-wipe to the next morning at the Krusty Krab. A sleepy SpongeBob is standing at the grill in the kitchen)

Mr. Krabs: Pushin' your luck a bit, aren't you, kid? (SpongeBob looks up to see him standing in the doorway to the kitchen) You were nearly late this morning. You got to be more concientierous or I'll have to start dockin' your pay. Oh, yeah. That's what I'll do. (whips out a tambourine and starts dancing) Doo dee doo, doo dee doo, doo doo doo! (SpongeBob cowers in fear as he shakes the tambourine at him) Musical Doodle! SpongeBob! Wake up, boy-o! Don't you need some patties to get started there?

SpongeBob: Of course. Yes, boss! (dumps a bucket of Krabby Patties onto the grill)

Mr. Krabs: Just focus on makin' them patties, boy-o.

SpongeBob: Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo... (gasps, giggles nervously. Mr. Krabs walks back to his office and closes the door watching SpongeBob. As soon as he leaves, SpongeBob's legs start bobbing up and down)

Think you control it, but it's way too hard. 
Every time it plays, there's an electric charge.

(SpongeBob covers his mouth)

SpongeBob: Hang on. Hang on. Play that last part back for me. (presses his tooth like a rewind button which rewinds the song. Presses the play button which plays the verse that goes "Think you control it, but it's way too hard.") That's it! I shouldn't try to control it. I should stop fighting the Doodle's infectious groove. (comes into the restaurant with a Krabby Patty on a plate)

Trying to stop it is futile. 
So just listen now to my Musical Doodle! (lands at a table and gives the Krabby Patty to the customer. Cartwheels to the next 
table and gives an elderly fish a Krabby Patty) 
Think you control it, but it's way too hard. 
Doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo!

Elderly Fish: Young man? (SpongeBob is still singing and dancing) Excuse me, young man. (SpongeBob keeps singing) I asked for no onions!

SpongeBob: Gonna listen again to the Musical Doodle!

Elderly Fish: What is wrong with the youth of the ocean today? (SpongeBob slides up to another customer. As he gives him his Krabby Patty, he splashes soda in his face)

SpongeBob: Every time it plays, it's an electric charge! (dances over to another table) 
The sound in your head is brutal. 
Now you're infected by the Musical Doodle. (the customer reaches for his patty, but SpongeBob keeps taking it away) 
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo-doo. (places the customer's patty on top of the other customer's patty and walks off) 
You're gonna listen again to the Musical Doodle! (at a table, a customer is eating his Krabby Patty. He turns around and sees 
SpongeBob still singing)
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo-doo! Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo-doo!

Fish #2: (groans in disgust) I can't eat like this. (gets up and leaves the table)

Fish #3: Me neither! (leaves his table as well as everybody else. In his office, Mr. Krabs is sleeping on a stack of coins when he wakes up)

Mr. Krabs: That door squeak sounded decidingly disgruntled. (opens the door and notices the customers leaving) Me customers! (pushes the floorboard up causing the customers to fall back and on top of each other) Why are you running off?

Female Fish: I never got my fries!

Male Fish: I never got my patty!

Male Fish #2: I got drenched in soda! And it was all because that yellow idiot keeps singing that annoying song! (Mr. Krabs looks up and growls as he looks at SpongeBob humming "Musical Doodle" while washing a table)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! You gotta cut out that singin', boy! It's repellin' me profits.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I've tried and I've tried, but it keeps playing over and over in my mind.

Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh. Stop singin' that song! One more outburst like that out of me and I'm sendin' ye home for the day! (SpongeBob gasps. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, as he stands at the grill, he tries hard not to sing, but while straining, he closes his eyes, but they sing "The Musical Doodle!" SpongeBob keeps them shut)

SpongeBob: Keep your trap shut! But it wasn't my trap! (hears his holes on his back singing. Takes a bunch of corks and plugs them up) One more outburst and Mr. Krabs will send you home for the day! Okay! Okay! But I feel it building up inside of me! [covers his face, still trying not to sing. Bubble-wipe to the kitchen all trashed. The walls have the word "Doodle" written all over them, the grill is tipped over, ropes of buns hang from the ceiling, ketchup and mustard bottles are stacked up, and most of the floorboards are torn up. SpongeBob stands hugging himself and humming goofily. Mr. Krabs walks into the kitchen)

Mr. Krabs: (gasps) What in blazes are you doing? (SpongeBob is still humming) That's it! You're done for the day!

SpongeBob: Trying to escape is futile! (runs out on all fours and runs)

Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo! Doo doo doo doo-doo! The Musical Doodle!

(SpongeBob runs past Sandy who walks into the restaurant. He giggles maniacally)

Sandy: What's his deal?

Squidward: Oh, he's obsessed with this artless pop tune.

Sandy: We gotta help him quick. He could be in great danger. (SpongeBob runs crazy through the town)

SpongeBob: The song that you ran from is back again. 
You wonder if the madness will ever end. (runs by Patrick standing)

Patrick: Hey, buddy! (Sandy, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs run after him)

Sandy: Come on, Pat! We need your help! (SpongeBob, still humming, dances to his house. He crawls up the side like a spider and into the porthole window. Sandy kicks the door down as she, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and Squidward enter) SpongeBob!

Patrick: SpongeBob! Where are you? (looks up to see SpongeBob on the ceiling)

SpongeBob: (insanely) Doo doo doo-doo! The Musical Doodle!

Patrick: SpongeBob! Hold still. This won't hurt a bit.

SpongeBob: Huh?

Sandy: Get him! (she and Mr. Krabs grab him and pin him to the floor. Patrick pounces on them. SpongeBob is taped to a chair. He has veiny eyes and Sandy looks at him through a magnifying glass) Just as I thought. You're suffering from a condition known as "Earworm." You see, when your brain becomes stuck on a catchy tune, you're spectable with earworm infection and you've got a nasty one there. (in SpongeBob's head, a little green worm sits in a rocking chair listening to "Musical Doodle" and laughs)

Mr. Krabs: Let's just rip the little sucker out! (opens SpongeBob)

Sandy: Hold it! We can't do that. It might damage his brain. The only way to drive the earworm out is with another catchy tune.

Mr. Krabs: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I got one! It's an old sea shanty me and me mates used to sing on the high seas. (puts a sailor's hat on his eye and starts singing)

It be drowsy and wet on the mighty high seas, for I need a boat for rapid disease. 
Oh, mateys. Oh, mateys. Don't ever weep! If I so ever sleep, cast me into the deep!

(Mr. Krabs glares at the earworm in SpongeBob's head. It is still listening to the "Musical Doodle")

Mr. Krabs: He ain't budgin'.

Sandy: I'll be darned if anyone can resist a Western song while wearing a Western hat. Come here, you! (pulls out a guitar and places a miniature cowboy hat on the earworm)

Oh, life on the prairie is lonesome indeed. Not a friend in sight among the rustling weeds. 
So, when I get lonesome, I don't have a conniption, I just fire up my friend, Generator Contraption!

(the earworm throws the cowboy hat away)

Sandy: That only seems to have made him madder. We need somebody with really musical talent to get rid of this thing.

Squidward: Alright. I'll do it. But only because you required an artist of such high talent.

Sandy: Oh, right. Squidward. You play that little doohickey.

Squidward: It's called a clarinet. (takes his clarinet and walks over to SpongeBob. Begins playing his clarinet. The earworm falls out of his chair and hisses. As Squidward keeps playing, the earworm, wearing a fedora and carrying a briefcase, slips out of SpongeBob's head and slithers away)

Sandy: You did it! Drove the little critter out!

Patrick: Hold still, buddy! (rips the tape off SpongeBob, as well as most of his skin and flesh. SpongeBob runs to Squidward and gives him a hug)

SpongeBob: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Squidward!

Squidward: Alright. You're grateful. Now leave me alone. (pushes SpongeBob away and hugs him again. At night, Squidward climbs into bed) That was a near little tune I came up with today, if I do say so myself. (as he closes his eyes, the earworm laughs evilly and slithers across his head, slips under his eyelid, and into his head and Squidward begins humming. The song he played earlier begins playing in his head) Oh, yeah. That's catchy stuff, Squiddy. Catchy stuff. Mmm-hmm. (screams)

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