Episode Transcript: Wishing You Well

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
+
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
+
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Sandy]]
+
 
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
 
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Plankton]]
+
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
 
*The person who eats Mr. Krabs  
 
*The person who eats Mr. Krabs  
 
*Other Bikini Bottomites  
 
*Other Bikini Bottomites  
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
 +
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (walks up to a pay phone to check if there is any money in it but there is none) Nothing. Oh well. (hears something in the distance) That sounds like a quarter crying for help. (a quarter rolls in front of Mr. Krabs) Come to papa!
  
Mr. Krabs: (walks up to a pay phone to check if there is any money in it but there is none) Nothing. Oh well. (hears something in the distance) That sounds like a quarter crying for help. (a quarter rolls in front of Mr Krabs) Come to papa!<br>
+
'''Mom Fish:''' Hold it right there, buddy. My son just dropped that quarter.
  
Mom Fish: Hold it right there, buddy. My son just dropped that quarter.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah? Well your boy looks pretty shifty to me. How do I know he didn't steal it? (woman hits him in the face with her purse) Hey! That little brat is throwing perfectly good money away! Oh, so if I can't have it, no one... (gets hit in  
 
+
Mr. Krabs: Yeah? Well that kid looks pretty shifty to me. How do I know he didn't steal it? (lady hits him in the face with  
+
her purse) Hey! That little brat is throwing perfectly good money away! Oh, so if I can't have it, no one... (gets hit in  
+
 
the face with the purse again) I hope he throws all your retirement money down a hole. (walks over to the well) Poor little  
 
the face with the purse again) I hope he throws all your retirement money down a hole. (walks over to the well) Poor little  
 
quarter. What the...? This well is full of money! Don't worry little fellas, I'll save ya! (tries to climb in the well but  
 
quarter. What the...? This well is full of money! Don't worry little fellas, I'll save ya! (tries to climb in the well but  
is too big) Oh, it's no use. Me poop deck's too big.<br>
+
is too big) Oh, it's no use. Me poop deck's too big.
  
Lady Fish: Make a wish, dear.<br>
+
'''Lady Fish:''' Make a wish, dear.
  
[[Harold]]: All my wishes have already come true.<br>
+
'''Harold:''' All my wishes have already come true.
  
Lady Fish: Oh you. (tosses the coin at the well)<br>
+
'''Lady Fish:''' Oh you. (tosses the coin at the well)
  
Mr. Krabs: Noo!! (jumps at the coin) I'll save ya, money! (grabs the coin) Gotcha. What do you heartless brutes think you're  
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Noo!! (jumps at the coin) I'll save ya, money! (grabs the coin) Gotcha. What do you heartless brutes think you're doing?
doing?<br>
+
  
Harold: Umm, using the wishing well.<br>
+
'''Harold:''' Umm, using the wishing well.
  
Lady Fish: You toss in a coin and make a wish.<br>
+
'''Lady Fish:''' You toss in a coin and make a wish.
  
Mr. Krabs: And then what?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' And then what?
  
Harold: And...that's it. Nothing else happens.<br>
+
'''Harold:''' And...that's it. Nothing else happens.
  
Lady Fish: It's fun!<br>
+
'''Lady Fish:''' It's fun!
  
Mr. Krabs: You mean suckers throw in money down a hole for fun? That's the greatest gag ever.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' You mean suckers throw in money down a hole for fun? That's the greatest scam ever.
  
Harold: Can we have our quarter back now? (scene cuts to Krusty Krab)<br>
+
'''Harold:''' Can we have our quarter back now? (bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab)
  
Squidward: SpongeBob, why aren't those patties ready?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, why aren't those patties ready?
  
SpongeBob: You can't rush perfection.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' You can't rush perfection.
  
Squidward: I'm not rushing perfection. I'm rushing you.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' I'm not rushing perfection. I'm rushing you.
  
SpongeBob: (laughs) Always the kidder, Squidward.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Always the kidder, Squidward.
  
Squidward: Oh, this job stinks! But at least I'm not digging ditches.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Oh, this job stinks! But at least I'm not digging ditches.
  
Mr. Krabs: (enters Krusty Krab) Squidward, SpongeBob, I got a new job for ya. (scene cuts to outside Krusty Krab where there  
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (enters Krusty Krab) Squidward, SpongeBob, I got a new job for ya. (bubble-wipe to outside the Krusty Krab where there is a red X on the ground) X marks the spot of the [[Wishing Well|Eugene Krabs Memorial Wishing Well]].
is a red X on the ground) X marks the spot of the 'Eugene Krabs Memorial Wishing Well'.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: A wishing well, here? Wow!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' A wishing well, here? Wow!
  
Squidward: Don't you have to be dead to have a memorial anyday?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Don't you have to be dead to have a memorial or anything?
  
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, don't you believe in magic?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, Squidward, don't you believe in magic?
  
SpongeBob: Yeah, Squidward, don't you believe in magic? (walks off)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, Squidward, don't you believe in magic? (walks off)
  
Squidward: No, I don't, and neither does Mr Krabs.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' No, I don't, and neither does Mr Krabs.
  
SpongeBob: Well, I do. This well's gonna make a lot of dreams come true. (starts digging) What's the first thing you're  
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, I do. This well's gonna make a lot of dreams come true. (starts digging) What's the first thing you're  
gonna wish for?<br>
+
gonna wish for?
  
Squidward: To be far away from you as possible. C'mon, SpongeBob, this hole's not gonna dig itself. I'm certainly not gonna  
+
'''Squidward:''' To be far away from you as possible. C'mon, SpongeBob, this hole's not gonna dig itself. I'm certainly not gonna do it.
do it.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Squidward, aren't you excited? This is really gonna help people.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward, aren't you excited? This is really gonna help people.
  
 
'''Music:''' "[[Down The Well]]"
 
'''Music:''' "[[Down The Well]]"
  
 
  Take a penny and some magic
 
  Take a penny and some magic
  Even though your life is tragic, (Squidward: Hey!)
+
  Even though your life is tragic,  
  You can throw all your dreams down the well.
+
'''Squidward:''' (spoken) HEY!
 +
  '''SpongeBob:''' You can throw all your dreams down the well.
  
  Although everyday the pain grows
+
  Although every day the pain grows
 
  You ride unicorns on rainbows,
 
  You ride unicorns on rainbows,
 
  If you throw all your dreams down the well.
 
  If you throw all your dreams down the well.
  
  When your life's come apart at the scenes
+
  When your life's come apart at the seams,
 
  And you've given up all your dreams,
 
  And you've given up all your dreams,
  Here is just the means to make those dreams come true.
+
  Here is just the means to make those dreams,
 +
Come true.
  
  No more suffering, no more sighin'
+
  No more suffering,
  No more pain and no more cryin',
+
No more sighin'
  When you throw all your dreams down the well
+
  No more pain 'n no more cryin',  
 +
  '''Squidward:''' (gets whacked with a shovel; spoken) Ow! I'm not crying! (gets whacked again) Ow, ow!
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' When you throw all your dreams down the well.
  
SpongeBob: (puts an "open" sign in front of the well) Well, Squidward, what do you think?<br>
+
(song ends)
  
Squidward: That was the worst song I ever heard. But at least this stupid well's finished.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (puts an "open" sign in front of the well) Well, Squidward, what do you think?
  
Mr. Krabs: It's beautiful. (takes a whiff of the air) You smell that boys? That's the smell of money.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' That was the worst song I ever heard. But at least this stupid well's finished.
  
SpongeBob: You mean magic, don't ya?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' It's beautiful. (takes a whiff of the air) You smell that boys? That's the smell of money.
  
Squidward: All I can smell is that dumpster. (scene pans over to a dumpster behind Squidward)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' You mean magic, don't ya?
  
Mr. Krabs: All right, Squidward, you can go back to the register.
+
'''Squidward:''' All I can smell is that dumpster. (camera pans over to a dumpster behind Squidward)
  
Squidward: As long as there's no singing.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' All right, Squidward, you can go back to the register.
  
SpongeBob: And I've got a date with a krabby patty.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' As long as there's no singing.
  
Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, SpongeBob. Let me show you your new station. It's kind of a promotion. Sorta.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' And I've got a date with a Krabby Patty.
  
SpongeBob: Promotion? (scene cuts to SpongeBob being lowered in the well in a bucket) Why do I have to go down in the well?
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hold on there, SpongeBob. Let me show you your new station. It's kind of a promotion. Sorta.
<br>
+
  
Mr. Krabs: To collect the money!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Promotion? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob being lowered in the well in a bucket) Why do I have to go down in the well?
  
SpongeBob: How long do I have to stay down here?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' To collect the money!
  
Mr. Krabs: See ya in 8 hours.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' How long do I have to stay down here?
  
SpongeBob: Thanks for the promotion. It sure is dark and scary down here. (a coin hits SpongeBob in the head)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' See ya in 8 hours.
  
Sandy: I sure wish I had a fancy telescope. One that works underwater. That'd make me happier than a junebug at a
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks for the promotion. It sure is dark and scary down here. (a coin hits SpongeBob in the head)
porch light sale.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Our very first wish! I can't wait till it comes... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' I sure wish I had a fancy telescope. One that works underwater. That'd make me happier than a junebug at a
 +
porch light sale.
  
Plankton: I have presented you with a monetary offering as custom dictates. My wish, nay my command, is to be taller. Just
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Our very first wish! I can't wait till it comes... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head)
a little? Just big enough to crush my enemies, like the vermin they are!<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Gosh... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head) Ow!<br>
+
'''Plankton:''' I have presented you with a monetary offering as custom dictates. My wish, nay my command, is to be taller. Just
 +
a little? Just big enough to crush my enemies, like the vermin they are!
  
Mrs. Puff: I wish I had a snazzy new boat. I wanna be a hot ridin' momma. (SpongeBob gasps. Patrick walks up to the well
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Gosh... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head) Ow!
drinking a soda and throws it down the well when he is finished)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Hey!<br>
+
'''Mrs. Puff:''' I wish I had a snazzy new boat. I wanna be a hot ridin' momma. (SpongeBob gasps. Patrick walks up to the well
 +
drinking a soda and throws it down the well when he is finished)
  
Patrick: Oh my gosh. Who said that?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey!
  
SpongeBob: Patrick!<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Oh my gosh. Who said that?
  
Patrick: How do you know my name?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick!
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is a wishing well. Just throw in a coin and make a wish.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' How do you know my name?
  
Patrick: Ok, magical talking trashcan. (takes out a coin from his pocket) I wish SpongeBob were here to see this. (throws
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, this is a wishing well. Just throw in a coin and make a wish.
himself and the coin down the well)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Patrick.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' OK, magical talking trashcan. (takes out a coin from his pocket) I wish SpongeBob were here to see this. (throws
 +
himself and the coin into, and down, the well)
  
Patrick: (lands on top of SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob! I got my wish.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, you're suppose to let go of the coin when you throw it.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (lands on top of SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob! I got my wish.
  
Patrick: But I got my wish.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, you're supposed to let go of the coin when you throw it.
  
SpongeBob: Well, we've got 6½ hours till the end of my shift. What do you want to do now?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' But I got my wish.
  
Patrick: (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, we've got 6½ hours till the end of my shift. What do you want to do now?
  
SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.
  
Patrick: (pokes Spongebob) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.
  
SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it. (day turns into night)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.
  
Patrick: (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it. (day turns to night)
  
SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.
  
Patrick: (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.
  
SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.
  
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what kind of haul did you get?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.
  
SpongeBob: I did great, Mr Krabs. I got a nickel from Sandy, 2 pennies from Mrs. Puff, a penny from Plankton... (Patrick
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, what kind of haul did you get?
smiles big) ...and this slightly used pair of dentures.<br>
+
  
Patrick: And they fell on my head.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I did great, Mr Krabs. I got a nickel from Sandy, 2 pennies from Mrs. Puff, a penny from Plankton... (Patrick
 +
smiles big) ...and this slightly used pair of dentures.
  
Mr. Krabs: Well, I could probably get a couple of bucks for Patrick. Nah. You better just hand up the money. (sends the
+
'''Patrick:''' And they fell on my head.
bucket down)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: This wishing well was a wonderful idea, Mr. Krabs. Has anyone's wish come true, yet? Mr. Krabs: Uhh, not yet. But
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I could probably get a couple of bucks for Patrick. Nah. You better just hand up the money. (sends the
I'm sure if you believe strong enough, and dug deep enough, everyone’s wishes will come true.<br>
+
bucket down)
  
SpongeBob: Really?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' This wishing well was a wonderful idea, Mr. Krabs. Has anyone's wish come true, yet?  
  
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, sure, whatever.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Uhh, not yet. But I'm sure if you believe strong enough, and dug deep enough, everyone’s wishes will come true.
  
SpongeBob: Can we come out now?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Really?
  
Mr. Krabs: Goodness, no. You gotta stay down there just in case any late-night wishers come by. I'll be back for ya at dawn.  
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, sure, whatever.
(leaves)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Aww, no one's wishes are coming true. What did we do wrong? I know I believe hard enough. Maybe I just didn't
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Can we come out now?
dig deep enough. What do you say, Patrick? Are you ready to dig for some magic?<br>
+
  
Patrick: Yeah.
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Goodness, no. You gotta stay down there just in case any late-night wishers come by. I'll be back for ya at dawn. (leaves)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Aww, no one's wishes are coming true. What did we do wrong? I know I believe hard enough. Maybe I just didn't
 +
dig deep enough. What do you say, Patrick? Are you ready to dig for some magic?
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Yeah.
  
 
'''Music:''' "[[Magic Is Missing]]"
 
'''Music:''' "[[Magic Is Missing]]"
  
  Oh, the magic has gone missin'
+
  '''SpongeBob:''' Oh, the magic has gone missing,
  And everyone's still wishin'
+
  And everyone's still wishin'.
 
  But their dreams have fallen flat upon the ground.
 
  But their dreams have fallen flat upon the ground.
  
  You'll find magic under rubble
+
  You'll find magic under rubble,
  So, Patrick, grab a shovel
+
  So Patrick, grab a shovel!
  And here is where the magic can be found.
+
  And here's where the magic can be found.
  
  We're at the bottom of a well
+
  We're at the bottom of a well,
 
  But man won't it be swell,
 
  But man won't it be swell,
  When we make everyone’s wishes all come true.
+
  When we make everyone's wishes all come true?
  
SpongeBob: (digs a hole and something yellow glows from the hole) Holy mackerel, look Patrick! We've struck magic.<br>
+
(song ends)
  
Patrick: Is that good?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (digs a hole and something yellow glows from the hole) Holy mackerel, look Patrick! We've struck magic.
  
SpongeBob: Next to being a fry cook, it's the most important thing I've ever done.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Is that good?
  
Patrick: It's the only thing I've ever done.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Next to being a fry cook, it's the most important thing I've ever done.
  
Squidward: Having fun down there, SpongeBob? (laughs)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' It's the only thing I've ever done.
  
Patrick: Hi, Squidward.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Having fun down there, SpongeBob? (laughs)
  
Squidward: Patrick's down there, too? It just gets better and better.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Hi, Squidward.
  
SpongeBob: Do you wanna make a wish?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Patrick's down there, too? It just gets better and better.
  
Squidward: (laughs) I got my wish. You two are stuck in a dark hole and away from me.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Do you wanna make a wish?
  
SpongeBob: Guess what, Squidward? We found the magic.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' (laughs) I got my wish. You two are stuck in a dark hole and away from me.
  
Squidward: (laughs) There's no magic, SpongeBob. Wishing well's are just a scam to fool saps like you.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Guess what, Squidward? We found the magic.
  
SpongeBob: No, it's true! We did find the magic. Oh, I wish you could see it. (Squidward falls down the well langing on
+
'''Squidward:''' (laughs) There's no magic, SpongeBob. Wishing wells are just a scam to fool saps like you.
SpongeBob and Patrick) Squidward! You decided to join the party.
+
  
Patrick: Party!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No, it's true! We did find the magic. Oh, I wish you could see it. (Squidward leans too close and falls into the well, landing on SpongeBob and Patrick) Squidward! You decided to join the party.
  
Squidward: Let me out of here.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Party!
  
SpongeBob: We were just gonna play some party games.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Let me out of here.
  
Patrick: (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We were just gonna play some party games.
  
SpongeBob: (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.
  
Patrick: (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.
  
Squidward: I gotta get out of here. (tries to climb out of the well)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.
  
SpongeBob & Patrick: Go Squidward! Go Squidward! (he falls)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' I gotta get out of here. (tries to climb out of the well)
  
Squidward: There's not way to climb out of here.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Go, Squidward! Go, Squidward! (Squidward falls)
  
SpongeBob: Maybe if you had more upper arm strength.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' There's no way to climb out of here.
  
Patrick: Yeah, you should work out more.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Maybe if you had more upper arm strength.
  
Squidward: Well, why don't I just start right now? After all, I got a couple of dumbbells right here. (laughs)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Yeah, you should work out more.
  
Patrick: I don't get it.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Well, why don't I just start right now? After all, I got a couple of dumbbells right here. (laughs)
  
Squidward: Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' I don't get it.
  
Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic.
  
SpongeBob: It means he's afraid of Santa Clause.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' What does claustrophobic mean?
  
Squidward: No, it doesn't!!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' It means he's afraid of Santa Clause.
  
Patrick: (Trying to scare Squidward) Ho, ho, ho! (giggles)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' No, it doesn't.
  
SpongeBob: Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (trying to scare Squidward) Ho, ho, ho! (giggles)
  
Patrick: Ho, ho, ho!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!
  
Squidward: It's not working, Patrick.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Ho, ho, ho!
  
Patrick: Darn.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' It's not working, Patrick.
  
SpongeBob: Umm, Squidward, you're standing on my foot.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Darn.
  
Squidward: Oh, sorry, SpongeBob.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Umm, Squidward, you're standing on my foot.
  
Patrick: (holding a plate of ribs) And you got your elbow in my ribs.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Oh, sorry, SpongeBob.
  
Squidward: Eww. Patrick!<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (holding a plate of ribs) And you got your elbow in my ribs.
  
Patrick: (shoves Squidward) And stop stepping in my potato salad.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Eww... Patrick!
  
SpongeBob: Hey, hey, hey, guys.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (shoves Squidward) And stop stepping in my potato salad.
  
Squidward: (shoves Patrick) Stop pushing me, Patrick.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, hey, hey, guys.
  
Patrick: Oh, you mean like this? (shoves Squidward)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' (shoves Patrick) Stop pushing me, Patrick.
  
Squidward: No, like this! (shoves Patrick)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Oh, you mean like this? (shoves Squidward)
  
SpongeBob: (both Patrick and Squidward are fighting) You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. (scene zooms to
+
'''Squidward:''' No, like this! (shoves Patrick)
outside the well)<br>
+
  
Squidward: Patrick, get off of me. (scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward) I told you I am
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (both Patrick and Squidward are fighting) You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. (cut to outside the well, then back inside)
claustrophobic.<br>
+
  
Patrick: Oh Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Clause here.
+
'''Squidward:''' Patrick, get off of me. (camera zooms out to reveal that Patrick is sitting on Squidward) I told you I am claustrophobic.
  
Squidward: PATRICK!! (scene cuts to daytime where Mr. Krabs returns to the well)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Clause here.
  
Mr. Krabs: Good morning, SpongeBob! Let's see what ya got. (raises the bucket) Boy, it's heavy. Must be a lot of money.
+
'''Squidward:''' Patrick! (bubble-wipe to daytime where Mr. Krabs returns to the well)
(Squidward comes out of the well)<br>
+
  
Squidward: Free. I'm free!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Good morning, SpongeBob! Let's see what ya got. (raises the bucket) Boy, it's heavy. Must be a lot of money.
 +
(Squidward comes out of the well)
  
Mr. Krabs: Squidward? What were you doing down there? I didn't approve of the overtime. Or where you sneaking here in the
+
'''Squidward:''' Free. I'm free!
dead of night for free wishes?<br>
+
  
Squidward: The only thing I wish for is to be far away from here. (gets hit by a bus that is traveling to 'very very far
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Squidward? What were you doing down there? I didn't approve of the overtime. Or where you sneaking here in the
away') Ow.<br>
+
dead of night for free wishes?
  
SpongeBob: Bye, Squidward. Enjoy your trip!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' The only thing I wish for is to be far away from here. (gets hit by a bus that is traveling to 'very very far
 +
away') Ow.
  
Patrick: Lucky. (walks off)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Bye, Squidward. Enjoy your trip!
  
Mr. Krabs: So how much money did you make last night?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Lucky. (walks off)
  
SpongeBob: We didn't get any money. But we found something better. We found the magic.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:'''' So how much money did you make last night?
  
Mr. Krabs: The what?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We didn't get any money. But we found something better. We found the magic.
  
SpongeBob: We dug down deeper in the well and found the magic. Now all the wishes will come true!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' The what?
  
Mr. Krabs: Listen closely, SpongeBob. You don't get what you want in life just by wishing for it. (a big telescope with an
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We dug down deeper in the well and found the magic. Now all the wishes will come true!
eye looking out of it appears. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob scream) What in the deep blue is that?<br>
+
  
Sandy: There's a full moon out tonight. Do you like my new telescope I wished for?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Listen closely, SpongeBob. You don't get what you want in life just by wishing for it. (a big telescope with an
 +
eye looking out of it appears. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob scream) What in the deep blue is that?
  
SpongeBob: That's great, Sandy!<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' There's a full moon out tonight. Do you like my new telescope I wished for?
  
Sandy: That wishing well sure does work.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' That's great, Sandy!
  
Mr. Krabs: Just a coincidence. (Mrs. Puff drives up in a new boat)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' That wishing well sure does work.
  
Mrs. Puff: What do you think of my new hot rod?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Just a coincidence. (Mrs. Puff drives up in a new boat)
  
SpongeBob: It's beautiful, Mrs. Puff. How's about letting me take it for a spin? (both laugh)<br>
+
'''Mrs. Puff:''' What do you think of my new hot rod?
  
Mrs. Puff: No. (drives off)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' It's beautiful, Mrs. Puff. How's about letting me take it for a spin? (both laugh)
  
SpongeBob: See, Mr. Krabs? She wished for that boat.<br>
+
'''Mrs. Puff:''' (calm, but annoyed) No. (drives off)
  
Mr. Krabs: You mean she stole that boat.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' See, Mr. Krabs? She wished for that boat.
  
Plankton: (walks up gigantically tall) Morning, SpongeBob, Krabs. Beautiful day. (laughs and runs over to the
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' You mean she stole that boat.
buildings and knocks them over)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Is that proof enough for ya?<br>
+
'''Plankton:''' (walks up gigantically tall) Morning, SpongeBob, Krabs. Beautiful day. (laughs and runs over to the
 +
buildings and knocks them over)
  
Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me to believe in magic, never! Just to prove it to ya. (walks over to the well) I'll
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Is that proof enough for ya?
demonstrate. I wish...I was steamed and served with a side of melted butter. (lets go of the penny and laughs)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! No!!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' You'll never get me to believe in magic, never! Just to prove it to ya, (walks over to the well) I'll
 +
demonstrate: I wish...I was steamed and served with a side of melted butter. (lets go of the penny and laughs)
  
Mr. Krabs: Well, where's your magic now? (vanishes in thin air and appears as a real crab on a plate) Oh, where am I? What's  
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs! '''NO!!!!!!!!!!!'''
going on here? (person sits down and puts on an eating bib that says "THE END" on it) Uh-oh. I do believe in magic. I do  
+
 
believe in magic. I do believe in magic. Oh-no!!
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, where's your magic now? (vanishes in thin air and appears as a real crab on a plate) Oh, where am I? What's going on here? (person sits down and puts on an eating bib that says "THE END" on it) Uh-oh. '''I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic! OH NO!!!!!!!!'''
  
 
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}
 
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}
 
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
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{{Slogan}}
 

Latest revision as of 14:31, 5 October 2024

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All That Glitters New Leaf

Episode Article: Wishing You Well

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

Mr. Krabs: (walks up to a pay phone to check if there is any money in it but there is none) Nothing. Oh well. (hears something in the distance) That sounds like a quarter crying for help. (a quarter rolls in front of Mr. Krabs) Come to papa!

Mom Fish: Hold it right there, buddy. My son just dropped that quarter.

Mr. Krabs: Yeah? Well your boy looks pretty shifty to me. How do I know he didn't steal it? (woman hits him in the face with her purse) Hey! That little brat is throwing perfectly good money away! Oh, so if I can't have it, no one... (gets hit in the face with the purse again) I hope he throws all your retirement money down a hole. (walks over to the well) Poor little quarter. What the...? This well is full of money! Don't worry little fellas, I'll save ya! (tries to climb in the well but is too big) Oh, it's no use. Me poop deck's too big.

Lady Fish: Make a wish, dear.

Harold: All my wishes have already come true.

Lady Fish: Oh you. (tosses the coin at the well)

Mr. Krabs: Noo!! (jumps at the coin) I'll save ya, money! (grabs the coin) Gotcha. What do you heartless brutes think you're doing?

Harold: Umm, using the wishing well.

Lady Fish: You toss in a coin and make a wish.

Mr. Krabs: And then what?

Harold: And...that's it. Nothing else happens.

Lady Fish: It's fun!

Mr. Krabs: You mean suckers throw in money down a hole for fun? That's the greatest scam ever.

Harold: Can we have our quarter back now? (bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab)

Squidward: SpongeBob, why aren't those patties ready?

SpongeBob: You can't rush perfection.

Squidward: I'm not rushing perfection. I'm rushing you.

SpongeBob: (laughs) Always the kidder, Squidward.

Squidward: Oh, this job stinks! But at least I'm not digging ditches.

Mr. Krabs: (enters Krusty Krab) Squidward, SpongeBob, I got a new job for ya. (bubble-wipe to outside the Krusty Krab where there is a red X on the ground) X marks the spot of the Eugene Krabs Memorial Wishing Well.

SpongeBob: A wishing well, here? Wow!

Squidward: Don't you have to be dead to have a memorial or anything?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, don't you believe in magic?

SpongeBob: Yeah, Squidward, don't you believe in magic? (walks off)

Squidward: No, I don't, and neither does Mr Krabs.

SpongeBob: Well, I do. This well's gonna make a lot of dreams come true. (starts digging) What's the first thing you're gonna wish for?

Squidward: To be far away from you as possible. C'mon, SpongeBob, this hole's not gonna dig itself. I'm certainly not gonna do it.

SpongeBob: Squidward, aren't you excited? This is really gonna help people.

Music: "Down The Well"

Take a penny and some magic
Even though your life is tragic, 
Squidward: (spoken) HEY!
SpongeBob: You can throw all your dreams down the well.
Although every day the pain grows
You ride unicorns on rainbows,
If you throw all your dreams down the well.
When your life's come apart at the seams,
And you've given up all your dreams,
Here is just the means to make those dreams,
Come true.
No more suffering,
No more sighin'
No more pain 'n no more cryin', 
Squidward: (gets whacked with a shovel; spoken) Ow! I'm not crying! (gets whacked again) Ow, ow!
SpongeBob: When you throw all your dreams down the well.

(song ends)

SpongeBob: (puts an "open" sign in front of the well) Well, Squidward, what do you think?

Squidward: That was the worst song I ever heard. But at least this stupid well's finished.

Mr. Krabs: It's beautiful. (takes a whiff of the air) You smell that boys? That's the smell of money.

SpongeBob: You mean magic, don't ya?

Squidward: All I can smell is that dumpster. (camera pans over to a dumpster behind Squidward)

Mr. Krabs: All right, Squidward, you can go back to the register.

Squidward: As long as there's no singing.

SpongeBob: And I've got a date with a Krabby Patty.

Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, SpongeBob. Let me show you your new station. It's kind of a promotion. Sorta.

SpongeBob: Promotion? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob being lowered in the well in a bucket) Why do I have to go down in the well?

Mr. Krabs: To collect the money!

SpongeBob: How long do I have to stay down here?

Mr. Krabs: See ya in 8 hours.

SpongeBob: Thanks for the promotion. It sure is dark and scary down here. (a coin hits SpongeBob in the head)

Sandy: I sure wish I had a fancy telescope. One that works underwater. That'd make me happier than a junebug at a porch light sale.

SpongeBob: Our very first wish! I can't wait till it comes... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head)

Plankton: I have presented you with a monetary offering as custom dictates. My wish, nay my command, is to be taller. Just a little? Just big enough to crush my enemies, like the vermin they are!

SpongeBob: Gosh... (another coin hits SpongeBob in the head) Ow!

Mrs. Puff: I wish I had a snazzy new boat. I wanna be a hot ridin' momma. (SpongeBob gasps. Patrick walks up to the well drinking a soda and throws it down the well when he is finished)

SpongeBob: Hey!

Patrick: Oh my gosh. Who said that?

SpongeBob: Patrick!

Patrick: How do you know my name?

SpongeBob: Patrick, this is a wishing well. Just throw in a coin and make a wish.

Patrick: OK, magical talking trashcan. (takes out a coin from his pocket) I wish SpongeBob were here to see this. (throws himself and the coin into, and down, the well)

SpongeBob: Patrick.

Patrick: (lands on top of SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob! I got my wish.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you're supposed to let go of the coin when you throw it.

Patrick: But I got my wish.

SpongeBob: Well, we've got 6½ hours till the end of my shift. What do you want to do now?

Patrick: (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.

Patrick: (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it. (day turns to night)

Patrick: (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.

Patrick: (pokes SpongeBob) Tag, you're it.

SpongeBob: (pokes Patrick) Tag, you're it.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what kind of haul did you get?

SpongeBob: I did great, Mr Krabs. I got a nickel from Sandy, 2 pennies from Mrs. Puff, a penny from Plankton... (Patrick smiles big) ...and this slightly used pair of dentures.

Patrick: And they fell on my head.

Mr. Krabs: Well, I could probably get a couple of bucks for Patrick. Nah. You better just hand up the money. (sends the bucket down)

SpongeBob: This wishing well was a wonderful idea, Mr. Krabs. Has anyone's wish come true, yet?

Mr. Krabs: Uhh, not yet. But I'm sure if you believe strong enough, and dug deep enough, everyone’s wishes will come true.

SpongeBob: Really?

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, sure, whatever.

SpongeBob: Can we come out now?

Mr. Krabs: Goodness, no. You gotta stay down there just in case any late-night wishers come by. I'll be back for ya at dawn. (leaves)

SpongeBob: Aww, no one's wishes are coming true. What did we do wrong? I know I believe hard enough. Maybe I just didn't dig deep enough. What do you say, Patrick? Are you ready to dig for some magic?

Patrick: Yeah.

Music: "Magic Is Missing"

SpongeBob: Oh, the magic has gone missing,
And everyone's still wishin'.
But their dreams have fallen flat upon the ground.
You'll find magic under rubble,
So Patrick, grab a shovel!
And here's where the magic can be found.
We're at the bottom of a well,
But man won't it be swell,
When we make everyone's wishes all come true?

(song ends)

SpongeBob: (digs a hole and something yellow glows from the hole) Holy mackerel, look Patrick! We've struck magic.

Patrick: Is that good?

SpongeBob: Next to being a fry cook, it's the most important thing I've ever done.

Patrick: It's the only thing I've ever done.

Squidward: Having fun down there, SpongeBob? (laughs)

Patrick: Hi, Squidward.

Squidward: Patrick's down there, too? It just gets better and better.

SpongeBob: Do you wanna make a wish?

Squidward: (laughs) I got my wish. You two are stuck in a dark hole and away from me.

SpongeBob: Guess what, Squidward? We found the magic.

Squidward: (laughs) There's no magic, SpongeBob. Wishing wells are just a scam to fool saps like you.

SpongeBob: No, it's true! We did find the magic. Oh, I wish you could see it. (Squidward leans too close and falls into the well, landing on SpongeBob and Patrick) Squidward! You decided to join the party.

Patrick: Party!

Squidward: Let me out of here.

SpongeBob: We were just gonna play some party games.

Patrick: (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.

SpongeBob: (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.

Patrick: (pokes Squidward) Tag, you're it.

Squidward: I gotta get out of here. (tries to climb out of the well)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Go, Squidward! Go, Squidward! (Squidward falls)

Squidward: There's no way to climb out of here.

SpongeBob: Maybe if you had more upper arm strength.

Patrick: Yeah, you should work out more.

Squidward: Well, why don't I just start right now? After all, I got a couple of dumbbells right here. (laughs)

Patrick: I don't get it.

Squidward: Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic.

Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean?

SpongeBob: It means he's afraid of Santa Clause.

Squidward: No, it doesn't.

Patrick: (trying to scare Squidward) Ho, ho, ho! (giggles)

SpongeBob: Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!

Patrick: Ho, ho, ho!

Squidward: It's not working, Patrick.

Patrick: Darn.

SpongeBob: Umm, Squidward, you're standing on my foot.

Squidward: Oh, sorry, SpongeBob.

Patrick: (holding a plate of ribs) And you got your elbow in my ribs.

Squidward: Eww... Patrick!

Patrick: (shoves Squidward) And stop stepping in my potato salad.

SpongeBob: Hey, hey, hey, guys.

Squidward: (shoves Patrick) Stop pushing me, Patrick.

Patrick: Oh, you mean like this? (shoves Squidward)

Squidward: No, like this! (shoves Patrick)

SpongeBob: (both Patrick and Squidward are fighting) You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. (cut to outside the well, then back inside)

Squidward: Patrick, get off of me. (camera zooms out to reveal that Patrick is sitting on Squidward) I told you I am claustrophobic.

Patrick: Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Clause here.

Squidward: Patrick! (bubble-wipe to daytime where Mr. Krabs returns to the well)

Mr. Krabs: Good morning, SpongeBob! Let's see what ya got. (raises the bucket) Boy, it's heavy. Must be a lot of money. (Squidward comes out of the well)

Squidward: Free. I'm free!

Mr. Krabs: Squidward? What were you doing down there? I didn't approve of the overtime. Or where you sneaking here in the dead of night for free wishes?

Squidward: The only thing I wish for is to be far away from here. (gets hit by a bus that is traveling to 'very very far away') Ow.

SpongeBob: Bye, Squidward. Enjoy your trip!

Patrick: Lucky. (walks off)

Mr. Krabs:' So how much money did you make last night?

SpongeBob: We didn't get any money. But we found something better. We found the magic.

Mr. Krabs: The what?

SpongeBob: We dug down deeper in the well and found the magic. Now all the wishes will come true!

Mr. Krabs: Listen closely, SpongeBob. You don't get what you want in life just by wishing for it. (a big telescope with an eye looking out of it appears. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob scream) What in the deep blue is that?

Sandy: There's a full moon out tonight. Do you like my new telescope I wished for?

SpongeBob: That's great, Sandy!

Sandy: That wishing well sure does work.

Mr. Krabs: Just a coincidence. (Mrs. Puff drives up in a new boat)

Mrs. Puff: What do you think of my new hot rod?

SpongeBob: It's beautiful, Mrs. Puff. How's about letting me take it for a spin? (both laugh)

Mrs. Puff: (calm, but annoyed) No. (drives off)

SpongeBob: See, Mr. Krabs? She wished for that boat.

Mr. Krabs: You mean she stole that boat.

Plankton: (walks up gigantically tall) Morning, SpongeBob, Krabs. Beautiful day. (laughs and runs over to the buildings and knocks them over)

SpongeBob: Is that proof enough for ya?

Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me to believe in magic, never! Just to prove it to ya, (walks over to the well) I'll demonstrate: I wish...I was steamed and served with a side of melted butter. (lets go of the penny and laughs)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! NO!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Krabs: Well, where's your magic now? (vanishes in thin air and appears as a real crab on a plate) Oh, where am I? What's going on here? (person sits down and puts on an eating bib that says "THE END" on it) Uh-oh. I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic! OH NO!!!!!!!!


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
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