Transcript: Krusty Krab Commercial

This is a transcript of the Krusty Krab commercial from the episode As Seen on TV.

Cast

• Pearl Krabs as Amy
• Squidward Tentacles as Jen
• Eugene H. Krabs as Himself
• SpongeBob SquarePants as Himself

Dialogue

(Pearl, playing "Amy," and Squidward, playing "Jen," are standing in front of a purple curtain. An extended version of the music from the episode's title card, the APM track "Bad Tempi 1", plays throughout the commercial)

Amy: Oh, Jen. I've got a real problem.

Jen: What's your problem, Amy?

Amy: (pulls up a wad of cash and shakes it, with some of the money falling offscreen, then puts it down) I've got all this money and I don't know what to do with it and I'm hungry. (Mr. Krabs is laughing off-set. Amy and Jen look around) Who's there?

Jen: Where's that coming from? (purple smoke appears. It clears out to reveal Krabs)

Amy and Jen: (both gasp) Yippee, it's Mr. Krabs! (cut to Mr. Krabs)

Mr. Krabs: That's right, Amy. I heard all about your little problem and I'm here to help. (gives the "Come on!" gesture) Follow...me! (screen splits into two sections while a whooshing sound is heard. The sections slide offscreen to opposite directions, and we see Krabs, Amy and Jen at the Krusty Krab)

Amy and Jen: Where are we?

Mr. Krabs: Why, we're at none other than the Krusty Krab. (a shot of the Krusty Krab is shown when Mr. Krabs says "the Krusty Krab." We then see Amy with a boom microphone onscreen)

Amy: Did you say Krusty Krab? (we see the same shot of the Krusty Krab when "Krusty Krab" is said. Mr. Krabs appears, again with the boom mic onscreen)

Mr. Krabs: That's right, (the same shot of the Krusty Krab appears again) Krusty Krab. (cut back to Krabs) Home of the world famous: (the same shot of the Krusty Krab appears once more. Cut back to Krabs) Krabby Patty! (we see Jen)

Jen: What's a Krabby Patty? (cut to Mr. Krabs jaw-dropping on a yellow-ish background, with the camera zooming in and out 3 times. A "twang" sound is heard over this. Cut back to Krabs, Amy and Jen)

Mr. Krabs: Why it's only the most mouth-watering appetizing food in the seven seas. (part of SpongeBob's body is shown at the grill, with a patty grilling on it) We start with a fresh patty, grilled and juicy. (lettuce, tomatoes and cheese appear on the patty) Add some crisp undersea veggies and cheese. ("secret sauce" appears on the patty, with the buns appearing a few seconds later) Topped off with secret sauce and some buns. (cut back to Mr. Krabs, who holds up a Krabby Patty) Voila! A Krabby Patty. (cut to Amy and Jen. The boom microphone is once again onscreen)

Amy: I want a Krabby Patty. (boom mic moves over to Jen)

Jen: Me, too. (scene is wiped out to reveal Mr. Krabs wathing Amy and Jen eating Krabby Patties)

Mr. Krabs: How do you like them Krabby Patties, girls? (laughs. Amy and Jen both give a thumbs-up. Cut to Mr. Krabs, still laughing. SpongeBob's head can be seen in the order window) Two more satisfied customers. (points to the camera) So why don't you come on in, and have yourself a Krabby Patty today.

All: The Krusty Krab: Come Spend Your Money Here! (the slogan "Come Spend Your Money Here!" appears word-by-word as it is said)

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