Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III
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Episode Article: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III
Johnny: The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacleboy! We join Bikini Bottom's noblest, boldest, oldest superheroes as they bravely prepare for vacation. (both pack their clothes into their bags while "FOLD" and "PACK" come up as they put them in). But wait! While our heroes relax at Leisure Village, who will watch the Mermalair? (Barnacleboy opens the doors, and SpongeBob and Patrick jump in).
Patrick: ...and BoyPatrick
SpongeBob & Patrick: Reporting for duty.
Barnacle Boy: Yeah, yeah, follow me.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Up, up, and away!
Mermaid Man: Evil!
Barnacle Boy: Now, we want you boys to keep an eye on the place. Water the plants, and make sure that...
SpongeBob: Oh, my gosh, Patrick. This is the greatest wall of superhero super gadgetry ever! I'm going to play with the cosmic-ray!
Patrick: I'll get the aqua-glove.
Mermaid Man: Hold on there, boys! You cannot play with this stuff.
SpongeBob: What about the Orb of Confusion? (turns the orb on and and he and Patrick make confused faces).
Mermaid Man: (turns it off) No, no! Prolonged exposure from the Orb of Confusion will give you...uh...confusion!
Patrick: (opens, then closes the boat's door). What about the invisible boat mobile?
Barnacle BBoy: Especially not the invisible boat mobile. When we say don't touch anything, we mean don't touch anything. Do you understand?
SpongeBob & Patrick: Loud and clear, trusted boy companion!
Barnacle Boy: Well, great. Here are the keys. (drops key into SpongeBob's hand). We'll see you in a week.
Mermaid Man: (both run out the door) Up, up, and away.
SpongeBob: Come, boy Patrick. While our heroes are away, we will keep evil at bay. (both flip into the other room while yelling karate sounds).
Patrick: Huh? M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m...
SpongeBob: What is it, trusted sidekick?
Patrick: M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.
SpongeBob & Patrick: M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m! M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m! Man-Ray! Ahh! (both hide).
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how come he's not chasing us?
SpongeBob: Looks like he's frozen or something.
SpongeBob: It appears to be some sort of prison chamber... (licks the chamber) ...made out of frozen tartar sauce. This is incredible. Next to the Dirty Bubble, the evil Man-Ray is the all-time greatest arch nemesis of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. I have so many questions to ask him. (Patrick pulls the lever down to UNFREEZE). Pat, what are you doing? We're not supposed to touch anything!
Patrick: But you said you had a question.
SpongeBob: We could get in trouble.
Patrick: Well that's not a question. (both argue).
SpongeBob: He said not to touch anything and that includes unfreezing a super-villain! (pulls level up back to FREEZE).
Man-Ray: I'm free! Hahaha!
SpongeBob: Uh, actually, Mr. Man-Ray, sir, only your head is free.
Man-Ray: I, the supreme authority of wickedness, I, the evil Man-Ray, command you to release me from this frozen prison at once.
SpongeBob: Well, uhh, Mr. evil Man-Ray sir, we can't do that.
Man-Ray: Why not?!!
SpongeBob: Because you're evil!
Man-Ray: You mean, if I was good then you'd let me go?
SpongeBob: Yeah, sure, why not?
Man-Ray: Then, uh, in that case...I am good.
Man-Ray: Yes, really.
SpongeBob: Really, really?
Man-Ray: Yes, yes, really, really.
SpongeBob: Really, really, really?
Man-Ray: Yes, yes already. I'm good; I'm good!! Now let me out of here or you'll suffer dire consequences.
SpongeBob: Well, that's good enough for me. (unfreezes Man-Ray).
Man-Ray: You fools! Prepare to be eradicated. (tries to jump at SpongeBob and Patrick but stops in mid-air and falls to the ground, then laughs). What's wrong with me? Hahaha. What is this... Hahaha... infernal contraption?!
SpongeBob: Don't play dumb, Man-Ray! You know that's the tickle belt Mermaid Man used on you in episode #17.
Narrator: (showing a picture of the belt) As seen on episode 17!
Patrick: Oh, I love that episode.
SpongeBob: Oh, me too, me too.
Man-Ray: I'll never get out of here wearing this belt. I...I need an evil plan that will trick them to take it off me. (chuckles) Those acting lessons can pay off.
SpongeBob: Remember that part where Mermaid Man and Barnacle...
Man-Ray: Oh, sob. Oh, cry. (opens and closes his eyes) Oh, woe is me. You don't know what it's like being evil for so long. Oh, how I wish to be...good. If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency. (SpongeBob & Patrick gasp).
SpongeBob: We could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go.
Man-Ray: (turns around) Ahh, that would be fantastic! (chuckles) I'll fake my way through this just like I did in high school. (laughs).
SpongeBob: Okay, Man-Ray. Are you ready for your first day at goodness school? (Man-Ray puts an apple on his desk). Pat, get your wallet out. (Patrick gets his wallet out of his pocket). Okay, goodness lesson number one. You see someone drop their wallet. Patrick, drop the wallet. (Patrick tosses it on the ground). Now, what would you do?
Man-Ray: Excuse me, sir, but I do believe you've dropped your wallet.
Patrick: Doesn't look familiar to me.
Man-Ray: What? I just saw you drop it. Here.
Patrick: Nope, it's not mine.
Man-Ray: It is yours. I am trying to be a good person and return it to you.
Patrick: Return what to who?
Man-Ray: (slaps his face, then shows Patrick his ID). Aren't you Patrick Star?
Man-Ray: And this is your ID.
Man-Ray: I found this ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, this must be your wallet.
Patrick: That makes sense to me.
Man-Ray: Then take it.
Patrick: It's not my wallet.
Man-Ray: You dim bulb! Take back your wallet, or I'll rip your arms off! (SpongeBob pushes tickle button and Man-Ray laughs).
SpongeBob: Nuh. Wrong. (SpongeBob pushes button) Good people don't rip each others' arms off. (Man-Ray chuckles) Okay, goodness lesson number two. You see someone struggle with a heavy package. What do you do?
Man-Ray: Hello, friend. I noticed you were struggling with that package. Would you like some help? (Patrick drops package on Man-Ray's foot). Ow!
Patrick: Oops, sorry. Can I start over?
Man-Ray: I noticed that... (Patrick drops package again). Ow!
Patrick: Oops. Gotta start again. (Patrick drops package again).
Man-Ray: Eh, you butter-fingered pink thing! What's in that box anyhow?!
Patrick: My wallets.
Man-Ray: Ahh!!!!! (grabs Patrick's head and throws him on the ground a lot).
Patrick: No! SpongeBob, tickle him! (SpongeBob pushes the tickle button as Man-Ray starts laughing, but he keeps throwing Patrick around).
Man-Ray: It tickles but it's worth it.
SpongeBob: Alright, goodness lesson number three. Uhh, let's see. (Patrick, in bandages and a wheelchair, grabs the remote glaring in anger).
Patrick: I've got one. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it?
Man-Ray: Umm... 62?
Patrick: Wrong! (pushes button).
Man-Ray: Haha. Stop. (Patrick presses the button rapidly in genuine anger against Man Ray)
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, that's got nothing to do with being good. (He and Patrick play tug-of-war over it)
Patrick: (Angrily) Let go of it, SpongeBob!!
SpongeBob: Pat, we've got to use it only when he's bad.
Patrick: Let go!
SpongeBob: No, you let go!
SpongeBob & Patrick: Let go!! (remote breaks and the belt goes haywire).
Man-Ray: Frequency rising. Hahaha. Belt out of control. It's tickling my DNA. Make it stop! (tears come out as he laughs). Haha. Please!!
SpongeBob: Did you hear that, Patrick? He said the P word.
SpongeBob: No. Please.
Patrick: Well, that's good enough for me. I guess he's re-constituted.
Patrick: Same thing.
SpongeBob: It's graduation day, Man-Ray. This is the key to your future. (unlocks belt) Just look at him, Patrick. The picture of goodness. (Man-Ray grabs the aqua-glove off the wall of weapons). Umm, we're not supposed to touch that stuff. We're not supposed to touch that, either. (Man-Ray grabs a bomb and attaches it on the aqua-glove). We are really not supposed to touch those, sir. Good people have no use for weapons like... (Man-Ray zaps them into dust with the aqua glove and bomb).
Man-Ray: (laughs) The only thing I'm good at is being evil. (door opens and he runs). So long, suckers!
Patrick: What's that smell, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: That, Patrick, is the smell of defeat.
Patrick: Good, I thought it was my skin.
SpongeBob: Forget about your skin, Patrick. Man-Ray is still bad, and someone has to stop him. This is a job for Mermaid Man...
Patrick: and Barnacle Boy! (both slide down pole and get their costumes on).
SpongeBob: To the Invisible Boat Mobile. (both stop in the invisible boat).
Patrick: Ignition, on!
SpongeBob: Wait! I don't have a license.
Patrick: Well, this is an invisible boat, right? So, you need an invisible license. (shapes hand into a rectangle).
SpongeBob: You're the best sidekick ever, Barnacle Boy. (boats drives through the wall and into a street light).
Patrick: Thank goodness for invisible seatbelts.
Man-Ray: Out of my way, fools. You no longer have control of me. And now this town belongs to: Man-Ray!
SpongeBob: Not so fast, arch-villain. We still have the Orb of Confusion. (Patrick takes out the Orb of Confusion). Take this! (turns it on and they get all confused.) Doy. Duh.
Man-Ray: (The confusion orb waves miss him) Well, that was easy. (Heads to the bank where he kicks in the door). Hahaha. All right, people! Everybody stand right where you are!!
Man-Ray: I want to, uh... (chuckles, so everyone else chuckles, too). No! No! Stop giggling or I'll have to... (chuckles again as all the citizens laugh). STOP LAUGHING YOU FOOLS!!!! (Walks up to clerk)
Bank Lady: What can I do for you, sir?
Man-Ray: What? I'll tell you what you can do. (points glove at the lady) Gimme all of your... (chuckles again) G-g-gimme all of your... (chuckles again) Give me... (chuckles too much) Ahh! The belt is gone, but I still feel its tickle. The urge to do bad is gone. (Sighs) I guess I'll just open a checking account. (Man-Ray returns to turn the Orb of Confusion off).
SpongeBob: Duh. Doy. (gasps) Man-Ray!
Man-Ray: No need to be alarmed, SpongeBob. Your teachings have transformed me. Besides, I have checks...with little poodles on them! (Man-Ray shows a check-book with drawings of poodles. He takes his head off and gives it to SpongeBob) I won't be needing this anymore. Farewell, fellow do-gooder. (walks off).
SpongeBob: Bye, Man-Ray! Wow. We did it! Just like the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. We saved the day. Isn't it incredible, Patrick? Patrick?
Patrick: Uhh... (still has a confused look on his face).
SpongeBob: Patrick, you know that thing's turned off, right? Patrick? Yoo-hoo? Patrick?!