Episode Transcript: Sailor Mouth

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
+
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward]]
+
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
 
*[[Krusty Krab]] customers
 
*[[Krusty Krab]] customers
 
*[[Mama Krabs]]
 
*[[Mama Krabs]]
 
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
 
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
 +
*[[Tom]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
  
Mr. Krabs: Well, it's the worst time of the day once again(cringes as he changes the sign to "Closed") Closing time!
+
Mr. Krabs: Well, it's the worst time of the day once again (cringes as he changes the sign to "Closed") Closing time!
  
 
SpongeBob: Well, see you in the AM, Mr. Krabs.
 
SpongeBob: Well, see you in the AM, Mr. Krabs.
  
Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, boy!(pulls Spongebob back) Take that pile of filth out with you.(Squidward holds up a trash bag)
+
Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, SpongeBob! (pulls SpongeBob back) Take that pile of filth out with you.(Squidward holds up a trash bag)
  
SpongeBob:(gasps) Mr. Krabs, you shouldn't talk about Squidward like that!
+
SpongeBob: (gasps) Mr. Krabs, you shouldn't talk about Squidward like that!
  
 
Squidward: He means this filth, you loon.
 
Squidward: He means this filth, you loon.
  
SpongeBob: Takin' out the trash, takin' out the trash. Hmm...dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with bubbles, down with air!" (laughs) "Neematoads are people too!" (laughs) Neematoads... Here's one someone didn't finish! Squidward smells. (writes the word "good" after "smells") Good.(laughs) Hmm, what's this one?  Krabs is a... hmm? Krabs is a <dolphin censor>
+
SpongeBob: Takin' out the trash, takin' out the trash. Hmm...dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with bubbles, down with air!" (laughs) "Nematodes are people too!" (laughs) Nematodes... Here's one someone didn't finish! Squidward smells. (writes the word "good" after "smells") Good. (laughs) Hmm, what's this one?  Krabs is a... hmm? Krabs is a (Dolphin chirp then turns into a rabbit then back into himself).
  
 
Garbage Man: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!
 
Garbage Man: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!
  
Spongebob: Well, sometimes,but not recently.
+
SpongeBob: Well, sometimes,but not recently.
  
Patrick: Hi, garbage man. Hi, Spongebob.
+
Patrick: Hi, garbage man. Hi, SpongeBob.
  
 
SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick! Patrick, do you know what this word means?
 
SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick! Patrick, do you know what this word means?
Line 43: Line 44:
 
Patrick: Krabs... Uh, isn't that the red sweaty guy you work for?
 
Patrick: Krabs... Uh, isn't that the red sweaty guy you work for?
  
SpongeBob: No, not that word,THAT word.
+
SpongeBob: No, not that word, THAT word.
  
Patrick: Hmm...(dolphin)! Uh, hey! I think I know what that word means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.<br>
+
Patrick: (Scratches neck) ([[Media:Underwater restore down.wav|Dolphin chirp]]). Uh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.
  
SpongeBob: Sentence enhancers?<br>
+
SpongeBob: Sentence enhancers?
  
Patrick: You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it on anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!<br>
+
Patrick: You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it on anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!
  
SpongeBob: Oh, I get it! Here, let me try.(coughs)(fancy tone) Hello, Patrick. Lovely(dolphin censor) day it is, isn't it?
+
SpongeBob: Oh, I get it! Here, let me try.(coughs)(fancy tone) Hello, Patrick. Lovely ([[Media:Underwater restore up.wav|Dolphin chirp]]) day it is, isn't it?
  
Patrick: Why yes it is, SpongeBob. This (dolphin censor) day is particulary (dolphin) lovely!<br>
+
Patrick: Why yes it is, SpongeBob. This (Dolphin chirp) day is particularly (Dolphin chirp) lovely!
  
SpongeBob: How (dolphin censor) right you are, Patrick! (Both start saying the word multiple times)
+
SpongeBob: How (Dolphin chirp) right you are, Patrick! (Dolphin chirp x3)
  
SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.<br>
+
SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.
  
Patrick: Oh, me too! (both laugh)<br>
+
Patrick: Oh, me too! (both laugh)
  
SpongeBob: It tickles when I laugh!<br>
+
SpongeBob: It tickles when I laugh!
  
 
(SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab next day)
 
(SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab next day)
  
SpongeBob: Hello, customers, what a (dolphin) day we're having!<br>
+
SpongeBob: Hello,customers, nice (Dolphin chirp) day we're having!
  
Fish #1: Did he just say?<br>
+
Fish: Did he just say?
  
Fish #2: Aye, he did.<br>
+
Pirate Fish: Aye, he did.
  
SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick, how the (dolphin ) are you?<br>
+
SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick, how the (Dolphin chirp) are you?
  
Patrick: (walks into the Krusty Krab) Pretty (dolphin) good, SpongeBob.<br>
+
Patrick: (walks into the Krusty Krab) Pretty (Turns into a frog then Dolphin chirp) good, SpongeBob.
  
Old man jenkens: I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention.<br>
+
Old Man Jenkins: I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention.
  
SpongeBob: (taps on the microphone) Attention, customers, today's special is a (dolphin ) Krabby Patty served with in a greasy (dolphin ) sauce and grilled to (dolphin ) perfection. And don't forget to ask us to (dolphin ) the (dolphin ) fries. It'll be our (dolphin ) pleasure. Hi Squidward, how the (dolphin) are ya?<br>
+
SpongeBob: (taps on the microphone) Attention, customers, today's special is a (Turns into a rabbit again Dolphin chirp) Krabby Patty served with in a greasy sauce and grilled to (Turns into a pig Dolphin chirp) perfection. And don't forget to ask us to (turns into a buffalo then Dolphin chirp) the (Turns into an orangutan then Dolphin chirp) fries. It'll be our (Turns into an ostrich then Dolphin chirp) pleasure. Hi Squidward, how the (Turns into a hamster then Dolphin chirp) are ya?
  
Patrick: Nice (dolphin ) day we're having, isn't it Squidward?<br>
+
Patrick: Nice (Dolphin chirp) day we're having, isn't it Squidward?
  
Fish #3: I don't understand. The guy's talented, but he doesn't have to work blue.<br>
+
Tom: I don't understand. The guy's talented, but he doesn't have to work blue.
  
Fish #4: Let's go somewhere more family oriented.<br>
+
Evelyn: Let's go somewhere more family oriented.
  
(Everyone leaves the Krusty Krab with dissapointed shouts, a fish says in the background: "I'm eating at the Chum Bucket!")<br>
+
(Everyone leaves the Krusty Krab with disappointing shouts, a fish says in the background: "I'm eating at the Chum Bucket!")
 
(Sirens wail)
 
(Sirens wail)
  
Mr. Krabs: Ah!! The Krusty Krab! She's empty! All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Squidward, where have all my money paying customers gone?<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Ah!! The Krusty Krab! She's empty! All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Squidward, where have all my money paying customers gone?
  
Squidward: Apparently the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word, and SpongeBob just said it over the intercom.<br>
+
Squidward: Apparently the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word, and SpongeBob just said it over the intercom.
  
Mr. Krabs: Well, what was it? What'd he say?<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Well, what was it? What'd he say?
  
Squidward:(wisperes)chubby bath buzzsaw. <br>
+
Squidward:(whispers. He's saying "bad word 11 then animalizing himself")
  
Mr. Krabs: gasp!!! SpongeBob and Friend!!!!! Front and center! I think I should make you paint the Krusty Krab for using such language!<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Huh?
  
SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, we were only using our sentence enhancers.<br>
+
Squidward:(whispers. same as last whisper.)
  
Patrick: Yeah,it's fancy talk.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Gasp!!! SpongeBob and Patrick !!!!! Front and center! Why am I making the two of you paint the Krusty Krab for using such language?
  
Mr. Krabs: There ain't nothing fancy about that word!<br>
+
SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, we were only using our sentence enhancers.
  
SpongeBob: You mean (dolphin)?<br>
+
Patrick: Yeah, it's fancy talk.
  
Mr. Krabs: Yes, that one. Now quit saying it! It's a bad word.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: There ain't nothing fancy about that word!
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Bad word??????????!!!!!!<br>
+
SpongeBob: You mean (Dolphin chirp) and our animalizing?
  
Mr. Krabs: Yesirree, that's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Yes, that one. Now quit saying it! It's a bad word.
  
Squidward: Don't you mean there are only 7?<br>
+
SpongeBob and Patrick: Bad word?! (Tongue Play; Scraping Their Tongue with their hands)
  
Mr. Krabs: Not if you're a sailor! (laughs)<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Yes sirree, that's bad  word  number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.
  
SpongeBob: Wow, 13!<br>
+
Squidward: Don't you mean there are only 7?
  
Patrick: That's a lot of (dolphin censor) bad words!
+
Mr. Krabs: Not if you're a sailor! (laughs)
  
Mr. Krabs: Ok, boys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Wow, 13!
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: We promise.<br>
+
Patrick: That's a lot of (Dolphin chirp) bad words!
  
(back at SpongeBob's house, playing [[Eels and Escolators|Eels and Escalators]])
+
Mr. Krabs: OK, boys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again.
  
SpongeBob: Gee, I'm glad Mr. Krabs told us that word we were using was a bad word!<br>
+
SpongeBob and Patrick: We promise.
  
Patrick: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.<br>
+
(back at SpongeBob's house, playing [[Eels and Escalators]])
  
SpongeBob: Yay,varily!  Now, let's play a nice,  wholesome game of Eels and Escalators.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Gee, I'm glad Mr. Krabs told us that word we were using was a bad word!
  
Patrick: Hooray, my favorite!<br>
+
Patrick: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.
  
SpongeBob: Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes! (rolls the dice)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Yea ,verily!  Now, let's play a nice,  wholesome game of Eels and Escalators.
 +
 
 +
Patrick: Oh, Boy, my favorite!
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes! (rolls the dice)
  
 
Patrick: Oh, eels. Too bad, SpongeBob, you gotta rent an eel.
 
Patrick: Oh, eels. Too bad, SpongeBob, you gotta rent an eel.
  
SpongeBob: Darn. (moves game piece to eel)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Darn. (moves game piece to eel)
  
Patrick:  My turn! (rolls dice) Horray! escalators! Yay! Up,up,up!
+
Patrick:  My turn! (rolls dice) Hooray! escalators! (Whoops) Up,up,up!
  
 
SpongeBob: Come on, escalators, escalators! (rolls dice) Uh, eels again.
 
SpongeBob: Come on, escalators, escalators! (rolls dice) Uh, eels again.
  
Patrick: My turn! (rolls dice)Esclators!  
+
Patrick: My turn! (rolls dice)Escalators!  
  
 
SpongeBob: Escalators, escalators, escalators!(throws dice) Eels?
 
SpongeBob: Escalators, escalators, escalators!(throws dice) Eels?
  
Patrick:(rolls dice)Es-skee-lators!! (moves to escalators) Well, this is your last chance, Spongebob, for if you get eels again, you lose!
+
Patrick:(rolls dice) Es-skee-lators!! (moves to escalators) Well, this is your last chance, SpongeBob, (Shows an eel head saying "You Lose!") or if you get eels again, you lose!
  
 
SpongeBob: (gets frustrated while rolling the dice) Escalators, escalators, escalators!!! (dice is thrown and lands on escalators) Ha! Escalators! (dice turns to eels)
 
SpongeBob: (gets frustrated while rolling the dice) Escalators, escalators, escalators!!! (dice is thrown and lands on escalators) Ha! Escalators! (dice turns to eels)
Line 154: Line 159:
 
Patrick: Eels!
 
Patrick: Eels!
  
SpongeBob: Ah, (censor)! (closes mouth)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Ah, (Dolphin chirp)!(closes mouth)
  
Patrick: Oh! you said number 11!<br>
+
Patrick: Oh! you said number 11!
  
 
SpongeBob: Ah! It just slipped out, you know. You understand, right, Patrick! You gotta understand!
 
SpongeBob: Ah! It just slipped out, you know. You understand, right, Patrick! You gotta understand!
  
Patrick: Don't worry,Spongebob,I understand.  Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (starts running to the Krusty Krab)<br>
+
Patrick: Don't worry, SpongeBob, I understand.  Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (starts running to the Krusty Krab)
  
SpongeBob: Please Pat, please don't tell!<br>
+
SpongeBob: No! Wait, Patrick! Patrick, no, please don't tell!
  
Patrick: But you said (dolphin )!<br>
+
Patrick: But you said (Turns into a tiger then roars)!  
  
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm telling Mr. Krabs on you!<br>
+
SpongeBob: Aha! Now I'm Gonna tell Mr. Krabs on you!
  
Patrick: Not if I tell him first!<br>
+
Patrick: Not if I tell first (transfroms SpongeBob into a cow)!
  
 
SpongeBob: I can run faster than you!(laughs)
 
SpongeBob: I can run faster than you!(laughs)
  
Patrick: (riding in an ice cream truck) See ya at the Krusty Krab! Ha, ha, ha! (the truck goes the wrong way)oh no!!<br>
+
Patrick: (riding in an ice cream truck, transforming SpongeBob into a walrus) See ya at the Krusty Krab! Ha, ha, ha! (The truck goes the wrong way, Then transforms SpongeBob into a penguin)Oh no!!
  
SpongeBob: Ha! Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!<br>
+
SpongeBob: Ha! Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!
  
Mr. Krabs: What, what, what?<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: What, what, what?
  
 
SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!!
 
SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!!
Line 182: Line 187:
 
Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?!!
 
Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?!!
  
Spongebob: He said, he said, he said!
+
SpongeBob: He said, he said, he said!
  
 
Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy!
 
Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy!
  
SpongeBob: Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escalators,and Patrick was going up,up,up,and I rent an eel and then we ran and Patrick,he said some things!
+
SpongeBob: (Fast) Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escalators,and Patrick was going up,up,up,and I rode the eel and then we ran and Patrick, he said some things!
  
Mr.Krabs: What kind of things?Spongebob:Well, he said..ah.. Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes?!
+
Mr.Krabs: What kind of things?
  
Spongebob: Well, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in the 13 words you said shouldn't be said.
+
SpongeBob: Well, he said.
  
Mr. Krabs: Uh... right,uh, you said what...? Who now?
+
Mr. Krabs: Yes?
  
Patrick:(eats an ice cream): Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr.Krabs!! (Mr. Krabs sighs)
+
SpongeBob: Well, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in A list of 13 words you said shouldn't be said.
  
(both babble on about the word, but Mr. Krabs grabs their lips)
+
Mr. Krabs: Uh... right, uh, What was the part about the...? Who now?
 +
 
 +
Patrick:(eats an ice cream): Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!! (Mr. Krabs sighs)
 +
 
 +
(both protest and running around on turing into a camel, vulture, snake and whale about the word, but Mr. Krabs grabs their lips)
  
 
Mr. Krabs: Now I'm gonna let go of your lips, and when I do, I want you boys to calmly tell me what you need to tell me,understand?
 
Mr. Krabs: Now I'm gonna let go of your lips, and when I do, I want you boys to calmly tell me what you need to tell me,understand?
  
Both: MMm-hmm(Mr. Krabs lets go of their lips) He said(dolphin censor)!
+
Both: Mmm-hmm(Mr. Krabs lets go of their lips) HE SAID (Dolphin chirp)!!
  
Mr. Krabs: Ah! Do my ears decieve me? You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash. I thought I made it clear. Never, and I mean,never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of you wait right here. I'll be back.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: (GASP!) Do my ears deceive me? You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash. (Carries them by their pants to the front)
 +
You two need to be tarder lesson. I thought I made it clear. Never, and I mean, never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of you just wait right here. I'll be back.
  
Patrick: What's going to happen to us?<br>
+
Patrick: (as a beaver) What's going to happen to us?
  
SpongeBob: We'll probably get 40 lashes!<br>
+
SpongeBob: (as a dinosaur) We'll probably get 40 lashes!
  
Patrick: (imagines himself with 40 eyelashes)<br>
+
Patrick: (as a bear) Oh, No! (Imagines himself with 40 eyelashes)
  
Spongebob: I'm sorry, Patrick. Mr. Krabs was right. There's no use for words like that.
+
SpongeBob: (as a chicken) I'm sorry, Patrick. Mr. Krabs was right. There's no use for words like that.
  
Patrick: I'm sorry,too,Spongebob.
+
Patrick: (as a goat) I'm sorry too, SpongeBob.
  
Spongebob: From now on, we shall not let cursing stain our lips! We will be good citizens,just like good ol'Mr.Krabs.
+
SpongeBob: (as a hippopotamus) From now on, we shall not let a foul word stain our lips! We will be good citizens,just like good ol' Mr.Krabs.
  
Patrick:(shakes hands with Spongebob)Agreed!
+
Patrick:(shakes hands with SpongeBob) Agreed!
  
Mr. Krabs: All right, you two foul mouths. As punishment for poisoning the air in my restaurant with your foul words, you're going to give the Krusty Krab a fresh coat of paint from top to... (trips on rock) Ow, ooh! Ow! My (censor)!!!!!!!!! foot! What kind of (censor)!!!!!! hir genious put a rock under my foot? Now I've got (censor) under there! Oh (censor)!!!!! (censor)!!!!!!!!! Oh (censor)!!!!!!!!! with a side of (censor)!!!!!!!!!
+
Mr. Krabs: All right, you two foul mouths. As punishment for poisoning the air in my restaurant with your foul words, you're going to give the Krusty Krab a fresh coat of paint from top to... (Trips on rock) Bottom. Ow, ooh! Ow! My (Dolphin chirp)!!!!!!!!! Foot! What kind of.. (Dolphin chirp)!!!!! genius put a (Dolphin chirp) rock In A (Dolphin chirp) Path? Can't You See (Octopus) I've Got A (Horn Honks) Foot Here?(Eagle) Oh (Seal)! Side Of (Dolphin chirp) And(Panther) A Heaping (Elephant) Helping Of (Foghorn) Da (Monkey) Bololo (Crab)! Awww, (Seal) (Various Noises) it grabbin' (Horn)!!!!!!!!!
<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: 7,8,9,10,11,12,13! That's all 13, Patrick! (cut to SpongeBob with 13 fingers) We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs.<br>
+
Patrick: (as a turtle) 9?
  
Mr. Krabs: No, not me mommy! That would break her poor old heart!<br>
+
SpongeBob: (as a snail) 5,6,7... That's all 13, Patrick! (cut to SpongeBob with 13 fingers) We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs.
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Mama Krabs, Mama Krabs! Mr. Krabs said (censor)!!!!!!!! then he said (censor)!!!!!!1 and (censor)!!!!!!!!!!! (censor)!!!!!!!!! with a side of (censor)!!<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: No, not my mommy! Wait! Please don't tell my mother! I don't think a little old heart can't take it!
  
Mama Krabs: Oh, dear! My poor old heart.<br>
+
SpongeBob and Patrick: Mama Krabs, Mama Krabs!
  
Mr. Krabs:(gasps) Oh, dear mother! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you? (takes a coin out of her pocket) You two should be ashamed! Making an old lady faint with your sailor talk!<br>
+
Ms. Krabs: Well, Hello There. (Mouth becomes an O)
  
Mama Krabs: You should all be ashamed! If you're gonna talk like sailors, you're gonna work like sailors!<br>
+
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs tranform randomly into animals and protest)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob''': I have never heard in my days!
 +
 
 +
Mama Krabs: Oh, dear! My poor old heart.
 +
 
 +
Mr. Krabs:(gasps) Oh, dear mother! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you? (takes a coin out of her pocket) You two should be ashamed! Making an old lady faint with your sailor talk!
 +
 
 +
Mama Krabs: You should all be ashamed! And if you're gonna talk like sailors, then you're gonna work like sailors!
  
 
(the three are painting her house, Patrick is painting the sand)
 
(the three are painting her house, Patrick is painting the sand)
  
Mama Krabs: I guess you three scallywags have earned yourselves a glass of lemonade! (laughs, trips on a rock) Ow! my (horn honks)!!!!!!!! foot!<br>
+
Mama Krabs: I guess you three scalawags have earned yourselves a glass of lemonade! (laughs, trips on a rock) Yeow! My (AWOOGA)!!!!!!!! foot!
  
Mr. Krabs: Mother!<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Mother!
  
Mama Krabs: What? It's Old Man Jenkins in his jalopy.<br>
+
Mama Krabs: What? It's Old Man Jenkins in his jalopy.
  
Old Man Jenkins: Howdy, Mrs. K!<br>
+
Old Man Jenkins: Howdy, Mrs. K!
  
 
SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Mama Krabs: (laughing)
 
SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Mama Krabs: (laughing)
Line 249: Line 266:
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
 
{{Slogan}}
 

Latest revision as of 23:40, 6 November 2012

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
I'm with Stupid Artist Unknown

Episode Article: Sailor Mouth

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

Mr. Krabs: Well, it's the worst time of the day once again (cringes as he changes the sign to "Closed") Closing time!

SpongeBob: Well, see you in the AM, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, SpongeBob! (pulls SpongeBob back) Take that pile of filth out with you.(Squidward holds up a trash bag)

SpongeBob: (gasps) Mr. Krabs, you shouldn't talk about Squidward like that!

Squidward: He means this filth, you loon.

SpongeBob: Takin' out the trash, takin' out the trash. Hmm...dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with bubbles, down with air!" (laughs) "Nematodes are people too!" (laughs) Nematodes... Here's one someone didn't finish! Squidward smells. (writes the word "good" after "smells") Good. (laughs) Hmm, what's this one? Krabs is a... hmm? Krabs is a (Dolphin chirp then turns into a rabbit then back into himself).

Garbage Man: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!

SpongeBob: Well, sometimes,but not recently.

Patrick: Hi, garbage man. Hi, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick! Patrick, do you know what this word means?

Patrick: Krabs... Uh, isn't that the red sweaty guy you work for?

SpongeBob: No, not that word, THAT word.

Patrick: (Scratches neck) (Dolphin chirp). Uh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.

SpongeBob: Sentence enhancers?

Patrick: You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it on anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!

SpongeBob: Oh, I get it! Here, let me try.(coughs)(fancy tone) Hello, Patrick. Lovely (Dolphin chirp) day it is, isn't it?

Patrick: Why yes it is, SpongeBob. This (Dolphin chirp) day is particularly (Dolphin chirp) lovely!

SpongeBob: How (Dolphin chirp) right you are, Patrick! (Dolphin chirp x3)

SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.

Patrick: Oh, me too! (both laugh)

SpongeBob: It tickles when I laugh!

(SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab next day)

SpongeBob: Hello,customers, nice (Dolphin chirp) day we're having!

Fish: Did he just say?

Pirate Fish: Aye, he did.

SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick, how the (Dolphin chirp) are you?

Patrick: (walks into the Krusty Krab) Pretty (Turns into a frog then Dolphin chirp) good, SpongeBob.

Old Man Jenkins: I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention.

SpongeBob: (taps on the microphone) Attention, customers, today's special is a (Turns into a rabbit again Dolphin chirp) Krabby Patty served with in a greasy sauce and grilled to (Turns into a pig Dolphin chirp) perfection. And don't forget to ask us to (turns into a buffalo then Dolphin chirp) the (Turns into an orangutan then Dolphin chirp) fries. It'll be our (Turns into an ostrich then Dolphin chirp) pleasure. Hi Squidward, how the (Turns into a hamster then Dolphin chirp) are ya?

Patrick: Nice (Dolphin chirp) day we're having, isn't it Squidward?

Tom: I don't understand. The guy's talented, but he doesn't have to work blue.

Evelyn: Let's go somewhere more family oriented.

(Everyone leaves the Krusty Krab with disappointing shouts, a fish says in the background: "I'm eating at the Chum Bucket!") (Sirens wail)

Mr. Krabs: Ah!! The Krusty Krab! She's empty! All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Squidward, where have all my money paying customers gone?

Squidward: Apparently the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word, and SpongeBob just said it over the intercom.

Mr. Krabs: Well, what was it? What'd he say?

Squidward:(whispers. He's saying "bad word 11 then animalizing himself")

Mr. Krabs: Huh?

Squidward:(whispers. same as last whisper.)

Mr. Krabs: Gasp!!! SpongeBob and Patrick !!!!! Front and center! Why am I making the two of you paint the Krusty Krab for using such language?

SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, we were only using our sentence enhancers.

Patrick: Yeah, it's fancy talk.

Mr. Krabs: There ain't nothing fancy about that word!

SpongeBob: You mean (Dolphin chirp) and our animalizing?

Mr. Krabs: Yes, that one. Now quit saying it! It's a bad word.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Bad word?! (Tongue Play; Scraping Their Tongue with their hands)

Mr. Krabs: Yes sirree, that's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.

Squidward: Don't you mean there are only 7?

Mr. Krabs: Not if you're a sailor! (laughs)

SpongeBob: Wow, 13!

Patrick: That's a lot of (Dolphin chirp) bad words!

Mr. Krabs: OK, boys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again.

SpongeBob and Patrick: We promise.

(back at SpongeBob's house, playing Eels and Escalators)

SpongeBob: Gee, I'm glad Mr. Krabs told us that word we were using was a bad word!

Patrick: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.

SpongeBob: Yea ,verily! Now, let's play a nice, wholesome game of Eels and Escalators.

Patrick: Oh, Boy, my favorite!

SpongeBob: Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes! (rolls the dice)

Patrick: Oh, eels. Too bad, SpongeBob, you gotta rent an eel.

SpongeBob: Darn. (moves game piece to eel)

Patrick: My turn! (rolls dice) Hooray! escalators! (Whoops) Up,up,up!

SpongeBob: Come on, escalators, escalators! (rolls dice) Uh, eels again.

Patrick: My turn! (rolls dice)Escalators!

SpongeBob: Escalators, escalators, escalators!(throws dice) Eels?

Patrick:(rolls dice) Es-skee-lators!! (moves to escalators) Well, this is your last chance, SpongeBob, (Shows an eel head saying "You Lose!") or if you get eels again, you lose!

SpongeBob: (gets frustrated while rolling the dice) Escalators, escalators, escalators!!! (dice is thrown and lands on escalators) Ha! Escalators! (dice turns to eels)

Patrick: Eels!

SpongeBob: Ah, (Dolphin chirp)!(closes mouth)

Patrick: Oh! you said number 11!

SpongeBob: Ah! It just slipped out, you know. You understand, right, Patrick! You gotta understand!

Patrick: Don't worry, SpongeBob, I understand. Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (starts running to the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: No! Wait, Patrick! Patrick, no, please don't tell!

Patrick: But you said (Turns into a tiger then roars)!

SpongeBob: Aha! Now I'm Gonna tell Mr. Krabs on you!

Patrick: Not if I tell first (transfroms SpongeBob into a cow)!

SpongeBob: I can run faster than you!(laughs)

Patrick: (riding in an ice cream truck, transforming SpongeBob into a walrus) See ya at the Krusty Krab! Ha, ha, ha! (The truck goes the wrong way, Then transforms SpongeBob into a penguin)Oh no!!

SpongeBob: Ha! Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: What, what, what?

SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!!

Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?!!

SpongeBob: He said, he said, he said!

Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy!

SpongeBob: (Fast) Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escalators,and Patrick was going up,up,up,and I rode the eel and then we ran and Patrick, he said some things!

Mr.Krabs: What kind of things?

SpongeBob: Well, he said.

Mr. Krabs: Yes?

SpongeBob: Well, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in A list of 13 words you said shouldn't be said.

Mr. Krabs: Uh... right, uh, What was the part about the...? Who now?

Patrick:(eats an ice cream): Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!! (Mr. Krabs sighs)

(both protest and running around on turing into a camel, vulture, snake and whale about the word, but Mr. Krabs grabs their lips)

Mr. Krabs: Now I'm gonna let go of your lips, and when I do, I want you boys to calmly tell me what you need to tell me,understand?

Both: Mmm-hmm(Mr. Krabs lets go of their lips) HE SAID (Dolphin chirp)!!

Mr. Krabs: (GASP!) Do my ears deceive me? You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash. (Carries them by their pants to the front) You two need to be tarder lesson. I thought I made it clear. Never, and I mean, never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of you just wait right here. I'll be back.

Patrick: (as a beaver) What's going to happen to us?

SpongeBob: (as a dinosaur) We'll probably get 40 lashes!

Patrick: (as a bear) Oh, No! (Imagines himself with 40 eyelashes)

SpongeBob: (as a chicken) I'm sorry, Patrick. Mr. Krabs was right. There's no use for words like that.

Patrick: (as a goat) I'm sorry too, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: (as a hippopotamus) From now on, we shall not let a foul word stain our lips! We will be good citizens,just like good ol' Mr.Krabs.

Patrick:(shakes hands with SpongeBob) Agreed!

Mr. Krabs: All right, you two foul mouths. As punishment for poisoning the air in my restaurant with your foul words, you're going to give the Krusty Krab a fresh coat of paint from top to... (Trips on rock) Bottom. Ow, ooh! Ow! My (Dolphin chirp)!!!!!!!!! Foot! What kind of.. (Dolphin chirp)!!!!! genius put a (Dolphin chirp) rock In A (Dolphin chirp) Path? Can't You See (Octopus) I've Got A (Horn Honks) Foot Here?(Eagle) Oh (Seal)! Side Of (Dolphin chirp) And(Panther) A Heaping (Elephant) Helping Of (Foghorn) Da (Monkey) Bololo (Crab)! Awww, (Seal) (Various Noises) it grabbin' (Horn)!!!!!!!!!

Patrick: (as a turtle) 9?

SpongeBob: (as a snail) 5,6,7... That's all 13, Patrick! (cut to SpongeBob with 13 fingers) We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: No, not my mommy! Wait! Please don't tell my mother! I don't think a little old heart can't take it!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Mama Krabs, Mama Krabs!

Ms. Krabs: Well, Hello There. (Mouth becomes an O)

(SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs tranform randomly into animals and protest)

SpongeBob: I have never heard in my days!

Mama Krabs: Oh, dear! My poor old heart.

Mr. Krabs:(gasps) Oh, dear mother! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you? (takes a coin out of her pocket) You two should be ashamed! Making an old lady faint with your sailor talk!

Mama Krabs: You should all be ashamed! And if you're gonna talk like sailors, then you're gonna work like sailors!

(the three are painting her house, Patrick is painting the sand)

Mama Krabs: I guess you three scalawags have earned yourselves a glass of lemonade! (laughs, trips on a rock) Yeow! My (AWOOGA)!!!!!!!! foot!

Mr. Krabs: Mother!

Mama Krabs: What? It's Old Man Jenkins in his jalopy.

Old Man Jenkins: Howdy, Mrs. K!

SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Mama Krabs: (laughing)

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