Episode Transcript: Snowball Effect

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{{Transcript|Snowball Effect|Doing Time|One Krab's Trash}}
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Episode Article: [[Snowball Effect]]
+
  
 
==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]  
*[[Squidward]]
+
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]  
*[[Plankton]]
+
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] (cameo)
*[[Fred]]
+
*[[Johnny]] (reporter)
*Realistic Fish head
+
*[[Mrs. Puff]] (cameo)
 +
*[[Fred]] (cameo)
 +
*[[Tom]] (cameo)
 +
*[[Frank (cameo character)|Frank]]
 +
*[[Billy]] (cameo)
 +
*[[Timmy]] (cameo)
 +
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
 +
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
 +
Narrator: Ah, observe the majesty of the mighty iceberg. (scene cuts to a block of ice falling into the water) This frozen giant, normally found floating in polar regions, can sometimes stray into warmer waters causing dramatic changes in climate for tropical undersea life. (a giant block of ice floats over Bikini Bottom and it starts to snow underwater)
  
(footage of real glaciers)<br>
+
Realistic Fish Head: Yes, it seems Old Man Winter paid us a visit late last night, and he brought with him not a pillow or a sheet, but a blanket.... a blanket of snow! (view of Jellyfish Fields) Yes, from Jellyfish Fields... (view of Mr. Krabs' house) to residential abodes... (view of a traffic light changing from 'go' to 'stop' then back to 'go') to bustling downtown... (view of SpongeBob’s house) it’s nothing but the white stuff. (SpongeBob opens the front door)
  
Narrator: Ah, observe the majesty of the mighty iceberg. (scene cuts to a block of ice falling into the water) This frozen
+
SpongeBob: Whoopee!
giant, normally found floating in polar regions, can sometimes stray into warmer waters causing dramatic changes in climate
+
to undersea life. (a giant block of ice floats over Bikini Bottom and it starts to snow underwater)<br>
+
  
Realistic Fish Head: Yes, it seems Old Man Winter paid us a visit late last night, and he brought not with him a pillow or
 
a sheet, but a blanket.... a blanket of snow! (view of Jellyfish Fields) Yes, from Jellyfish Fields... (view of Mr. Krabs'
 
house) to residential abodes... (view of a traffic light changing from 'go' to 'stop' then back to 'go') to bustling
 
downtown... (view of SpongeBob’s house) it’s nothing but the white stuff. (SpongeBob opens the front door)<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: Whoopee!<br>
+
Realistic Fish Head: And local residents are taking notice! (SpongeBob and Gary put on their Santa hats. Scene scrolls over to kids making ice sculptures, even Mr. Krabs making a sculpture of a dollar. Mrs. Puff walks over to her boat, covered in snow. She takes a deep breath and blows it all away then drives off, driving pass a guy covered in the snow she blew off)
  
Realistic Fish Head: And local residents are taking notice! (SpongeBob and Gary put on their Santa hats. Scene scrolls over
 
to kids making ice sculptures, even Mr. Krabs making a sculpture of a dollar. Mrs. Puff walks over to her boat, covered in
 
snow. She take a deep breath and blows it all away then drives off, driving pass a guy covered in the snow she blew off)<br>
 
  
Fred: Hey!<br>
+
Fred: Hey!
  
Plankton: (walks outside the Chum Bucket) What’s this? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy
 
and rule the world! (laughs evilly but a bunch of snow falls on top of him) Ahh...oh, stop! I wish to rule you...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (he's now
 
buried in snow. Scene cuts to Patrick)<br>
 
  
Patrick: Snow angel! (laughs while on the ground flapping his hands and arms. He stands up but he only made a circle) Oh...  
+
Plankton: (walks outside the Chum Bucket) What’s this? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy and rule the world! (laughs evilly but a bunch of snow falls on top of him) Ahh...oh, stop! I wish to rule you...! (he's now buried in snow. Scene cuts to Patrick)
(a snowball hits him in the side of the head) Hey! (SpongeBob whistles) Thanks a lot, SpongeBob! While you were just
+
standing there, whistling, someone threw a snowball at me!<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Oh really, Patrick? (giggles) Did the snowball look like this? (throws another snowball, this one hitting
 
Patrick's eyes)<br>
 
  
Patrick: Yeah. (SpongeBob laughs. Patrick runs over to SpongeBob) This is serious SpongeBob. Someone’s after me. I think
+
Patrick: Snow angel! (laughs while on the ground flapping his hands and arms. He stands up but he only made a circle) Oh... (a snowball hits him in the side of the head) Hey! (SpongeBob whistles) Thanks a lot, SpongeBob! While you were just standing there, whistling, someone threw a snowball at me!
I’d better leave town.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, I threw it. We’re having a snowball fight. Don’t you get it?<br>
 
  
Patrick: Snowball fight? I want to play! I want to play!<br>
+
SpongeBob: Oh really, Patrick? (giggles) Did the snowball look like this? (Throws another snowball. This one hitting Patrick's eyes)
  
SpongeBob: Well first, you have to make a snowball.<br>
 
  
Patrick: Oh yeah, snowball. (bends down and starts making a snowball) Oh, this is gonna be great! (shows his snowball but
+
Patrick: Yeah. (SpongeBob laughs. Patrick runs over to SpongeBob) This is serious SpongeBob. Someone’s after me. I think I’d better leave town.
its a cube) Huh? (tries making another snowball but its a triangle) Wha...? (tries making another snowball but its a double-
+
helix) Aw...! SpongeBob, could you help me make a snowball?<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. (makes a snowball and hands it to Patrick)<br>
 
  
Patrick: Thanks buddy. (throws it at SpongeBob)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Patrick, I threw it. We’re having a snowball fight. Don’t you get it?
  
SpongeBob: Patrick! How could you?<br>
 
  
Patrick: It’s a snowball fight, remember?<br>
+
Patrick: Snowball fight? I want to play! I want to play!
  
SpongeBob: Oh yeah. (two stare at each other then run back to their forts they made out of snow. They start to throw lots
 
of snowballs at each other. Scene cuts to inside Squidward's house where Squidward is sitting by the fire with his
 
slippers on each tentacle)<br>
 
  
Squidward: Ah, yes... Warm fire, cozy slippers, and a piping hot cup of tea with a lemon wedge. (squirts lemon juice in his
+
SpongeBob: Well first, you have to make a snowball.
eye) Why do I even bother? (a banging is heard outside. He looks outside to see SpongeBob and Patrick building snow forts)
+
Would you two please keep it down?!<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Squidward! You’re just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we’ll defeat the Pink Menace!<br>
 
  
Patrick: That’s me!<br>
+
Patrick: Oh yeah, snowball. (bends down and starts making a snowball) Oh, this is gonna be great! (shows his snowball but it's a cube) Huh? (tries making another snowball but it's a triangle) Wha...? (tries making another snowball but it's a double-helix) Aw...! SpongeBob, could you help me make a snowball?
  
SpongeBob: I can start you off as a buck private, but with hard work, perhaps you’ll rise through the ranks and become a
 
regular private!<br>
 
  
Squidward: Thanks, but no thanks, Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me.
+
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. (makes a snowball and hands it to Patrick)
(snickers) Got 'em both. (notices a snowball flying at him, so he ducks. The snowball puts out his fire. Squidward closes
+
his window)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, you fool! This was over before it started! I will now consider your unconditional surren... (a snowball
 
hits him in the face, sending him into the snow) ...der. (Patrick guffawls) So that’s how he wants it to go down. (takes
 
off his Santa hat, revealing a funnel under it. Scoops up snow in the funnel and puts it on his head. He jumps up on his
 
fort and starts shooting snowballs at Patrick very fast)<br>
 
  
Patrick: (stands up, revealing a bunch of snowballs lined up on his forehead) Ha! You missed me! (SpongeBob shoots more
+
Patrick: Thanks, buddy. (throws it at SpongeBob)
snow into Patrick's mouth. Slow motion occurs then resumes to normal speed after Patrick swallows the snowballs. SpongeBob
+
fires more snowballs and this time the snowballs get stuck)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Score one for the boys back home! (Patrick walks up to Squidward's house and knocks on his door)<br>
 
  
Squidward: Yes? Oh, Patrick. (Patrick is still choking) What an unpleasant surprise. Oh boy, nothing like a game of
+
SpongeBob: Patrick! How could you?
charades. (Patrick swallows the snowballs)<br>
+
  
Patrick: I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow, but the snow melted and turned into water, and I drank all
 
the water and now I’m better.<br>
 
  
Squidward: Fascinating. (closes door) Now where was I? (another knock on the door) What?<br>
+
Patrick: It’s a snowball fight, remember?
  
Patrick: Can I use your bathroom?<br>
 
  
Squidward: Patrick, go use your own bathroom.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Oh yeah. (two stare at each other then run back to their forts they made out of snow. They start to throw lots of snowballs at each other. Scene pans then cuts to inside Squidward's house where Squidward is sitting by the fire with his slippers on each tentacle)
  
Patrick: I don’t think I can make it! Please?<br>
 
  
Squidward: No.<br>
+
Squidward: Ah, yes... Warm fire, cozy slippers, and a piping hot cup of tea with a lemon wedge. (squirts lemon juice in his eye) Why do I even bother? (Banging is heard outside. He looks outside to see SpongeBob and Patrick building snow forts) Would you two please keep it down?!
  
Patrick: Please?<br>
 
  
Squidward: No.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Squidward! You’re just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we’ll defeat the Pink Menace!
  
Patrick: Please?<br>
 
  
Squidward: No.<br>
+
Patrick: That’s me!
  
Patrick: Please?<br>
 
  
Squidward: Ok, make it quick.<br>
+
SpongeBob: I can start you off as a buck private, but with hard work, perhaps you’ll rise through the ranks and become a regular private!
  
Patrick: That’s ok.<br>
 
SpongeBob: Aha! Aiding the enemy! Caught you red-handed, Squidward!<br>
 
  
Squidward: Look, SpongeBob, I was just... (SpongeBob throws a snowball at Squidward but it lands in his fire again, putting
+
Squidward: Thanks, but no thanks, Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me. (snickers) Got 'em both. (notices a snowball flying at him, so he ducks. The snowball puts out his fire.) Grrrrrrrr!! (Squidward closes his window)
it out) SpongeBob! Oh... (picks up a snowball. SpongeBob shrieks)<br>
+
  
Patrick: Yay, Squidward’s on my side!<br>
 
  
Squidward: I most certainly am not!<br>
+
SpongeBob: Patrick, you fool! This was over before it started! I will now consider your unconditional surren... (a snowball hits him in the face, sending him into the snow) ...der. (Patrick guffawls) So that’s how he wants it to go down. (takes off his Santa hat, revealing a funnel under it. Scoops up snow in the funnel and puts it on his head. He jumps up on his fort and starts shooting snowballs at Patrick very fast)
  
SpongeBob: Then that means he’s on my side!<br>
 
  
Squidward: No SpongeBob, I’m not on your side either. I’m on nobody’s side. Snowball fights are for immature children and I
+
Patrick: (stands up, revealing a bunch of snowballs lined up on his forehead) Ha! You missed me! (SpongeBob shoots more snow into Patrick's mouth. Slow motion occurs then resumes to normal speed after Patrick swallows the snowballs. SpongeBob fires more snowballs and this time the snowballs get stuck)
will not stoop to your level. (drops the snowball) If you two want to knock each others brains out with snowballs, kindly
+
leave me out of it. (walks back inside)<br>
+
  
Patrick: Come on SpongeBob, let’s go knock each other brains out!<br>
 
SpongeBob: I’m ready!<br>
 
  
Squidward: Hmmm... (imagines Patrick throwing a snowball at SpongeBob, knocking his brain out)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Score one for the boys back home! (Patrick walks up to Squidward's house and knocks on his door)
SpongeBob: Ok, Patrick, it’s out.<br>
+
  
Squidward: (chuckles) Now there’s something I’d actually like to see! (takes a chair up to one of his windows) Nothing
 
wrong with getting a front row seat I suppose. (snickers) Ah. What’s this? (SpongeBob and Patrick are shaking hands)
 
Wha...I...no! (walks back outside) What are you doing? You’re supposed to be knocking each other’s brains out!<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: We signed a peace treaty, Squidward. (Patrick shows treaty) You were right, fighting is for children.<br>
+
Squidward: Yes? Oh, Patrick. (Patrick is still choking) What an unpleasant surprise. Oh boy, nothing like a game of charades. (Patrick swallows the snowballs)
  
Squidward: No, no, no, I misled you, it’s for adults too! Give me that peace treaty! (rips the treaty into pieces) There!
 
Let the war continue!<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: Squidward, that wasn’t the peace treaty. That was a copy of the peace treaty.<br>
+
Patrick: I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow, but the snow melted and turned into water, and I drank all the water and now I’m better.
  
Squidward: Look, you two are giving up too easily. Now Patrick, pretend I’m SpongeBob.<br>
 
  
Patrick: Then who am I?<br>
+
Squidward: Fascinating. (closes door) Now where was I? (another knock on the door) What?
  
Squidward: You’re Patrick.<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: Can I be Mr. Krabs?<br>
+
Patrick: Can I use your bathroom?
  
Squidward: No! Wait, why?<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: He’s a good leader.<br>
+
Squidward: Patrick, go use your own bathroom.
  
Squidward: Would you butt out?<br>
 
  
Patrick: Hey, you can’t talk to Mr. Krabs like that, Squidward!<br>
+
Patrick: I don’t think I can make it! Please?
  
Squidward: I’m SpongeBob, you’re Patrick! (Squidward throws a snowball at Patrick) Now, what are you going to do? (Patrick
 
throws it back at Squidward) Patrick, why didn’t you hit SpongeBob?<br>
 
  
Patrick: You said you were SpongeBob, SpongeBob.<br>
+
Squidward: No.
  
SpongeBob: (imitating Mr. Krabs) Arrgh it’s true, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work! (laughs)<br>
 
  
Squidward: Oh boy. Alright, I can see where this is going. Let’s just say for all intents and purposes that I, Squidward,
+
Patrick: Please?
am now part in this war. Now...<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: If you're in this war then where’s your fort?<br>
 
  
Squidward: I don’t have one, ok? Now...<br>
+
Squidward: No.
  
Patrick: You gotta have a fort, Squidward.<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: Forts win wars, Squidward.<br>
+
Patrick: Please?
  
Squidward: (growls) Ok, fine? You want a fort? (makes a small snow fort) There, there’s your fort. Now...<br>
 
  
Patrick: That fort’s too small, Squidward.<br>
+
Squidward: No.
  
Squidward: It’s ok, Patrick. It’s just a demonstration. Now...<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: He’s right, Squidward. That thing would never protect you, it’s downright puny.<br>
+
Patrick: Please?
  
Squidward: Trust me, it’s fine. (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward)<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: See, it is too small.<br>
+
Squidward: Ok, make it quick.
  
Squidward: Not if I crouch down. I mean, you didn’t even give me a chance to crouch down. (crouches down) See? Down here, I
 
am perfectly... (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward)<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: Exposed.<br>
+
Patrick: That’s ok.
  
Squidward: Would you two please... (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward) ...stop throwing... (Patrick throws another
+
SpongeBob: Aha! Aiding the enemy! Caught you red-handed, Squidward!
snowball at Squidward) ...snowballs?! (Patrick throws another snowball at Squidward. Squidward growls and retaliates with a snowball of his own but it puts out his fireplace again)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Squidward returned fire!<br>
 
  
Patrick: Then it’s war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br>
+
Squidward: Look, SpongeBob, I was just... (SpongeBob throws a snowball at Squidward but it lands in his fire again, putting it out) SpongeBob! Oh... (picks up a snowball. SpongeBob shrieks)
  
Squidward: No, no...no, wait, wait, wait! (crouches down behind his snow fort) I was just giving a demonstration! (SpongeBob and Patrick throw lots of snowballs at Squidward. Squidward ends up looking like a snowman from all the snowballs that
 
hit him) Alright, that’s it! You guys asked for it! (throws a snowball at SpongeBob) I got him! Ha! I got him! (laughs) In
 
your face, SpongeBob! (laughs) This is actually kind of...exciting! Why I’ve never felt so alive!<br>
 
  
Patrick: (laughs) He got you good, SpongeBob! (Squidward throws lots of snowballs at SpongeBob and Patrick) Take cover!
+
Patrick: Yay, Squidward’s on my side!
(Squidward continues to throw snowballs)<br>
+
  
Squidward: Oh yeah...<br>
 
  
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?<br>
+
Squidward: I most certainly am not!
  
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?<br>
 
  
Patrick: I think Squidward’s taking this really seriously. (Squidward's clarinet is wedged in Patrick's forehead) That last
+
SpongeBob: Then that means he’s on my side!
one had his clarinet in it.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: It’s time for Plan B. (both tiptoe away while Squidward stops throwing snowballs)<br>
 
Squidward: What’s going on? The snowballs have stopped falling. I’d better take advantage of this momentary cease-fire.
 
(notices his fort is a little lopsided and gasps) What? My left flank is exposed? That bloated starfish is gonna run right
 
through me! (pats it down with more snow) I’ll just fix that right now. (laughs) Wait, that makes my north wall a weak
 
spot! (pats some more snow on the north side) But if they attack from the rear, I’m a goner! (gasps) But what about the possibility of an aerial attack! (starts digging more snow on his fort. Scene cuts to a few seconds later where Squidward
 
has a gigantic fort, near the top of the tree) Fort Squidward is now all but impenetrable! (laughs more) Now, where are
 
those fools? (snow falls on Squidward’s head) The first shot has been fired! (throws a snowball while more snow falls on
 
his head) Take this, Patrick! (throws another snowball as more snow falls on Squidward) Taste my frozen fury! (throws two
 
snowballs. Zoom out to show the snow from the tree is falling on Squidward's head) Victory is mine! (laughs wildly) Well, I
 
got you now! (Squidward keeps throwing snowballs while SpongeBob and Patrick are watching TV and sipping some cocoa)<br>
 
  
SpongeBob: Did you hear something, Patrick?<br>
+
Squidward: No SpongeBob, I’m not on your side either. I’m on nobody’s side. Snowball fights are for immature children and I will not stoop to your level. (drops the snowball) If you two want to knock each others brains out with snowballs, kindly leave me out of it. (walks back inside)
  
Patrick: Nope.<br>
 
  
TV: Let out the snowshoes and the shovels.
+
Patrick: Come on SpongeBob, let’s go knock each other brains out! SpongeBob: I’m ready!
  
{{Transcripts/Season 3}}
 
  
[[Category:Transcript]]
+
Squidward: Hmmm... (imagines Patrick throwing a snowball at SpongeBob, knocking his brain out) SpongeBob: Ok, Patrick, it’s out.
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
+
  
{{Slogan}}
+
 
 +
Squidward: (chuckles) Now there’s something I’d actually like to see! (takes a chair up to one of his windows) Nothing wrong with getting a front-row seat I suppose. (snickers) Ah. What’s this? (SpongeBob and Patrick are shaking hands) Wha...I...no! (walks back outside) What are you doing? You’re supposed to be knocking each other’s brains out!
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: We signed a peace treaty, Squidward. (Patrick shows treaty) You were right, playing is for children.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: No, no, no, I misled you, it’s for adults too! Give me that peace treaty! (rips the treaty into pieces) There! Let the war continue!
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: Squidward, that wasn’t the peace treaty. That was a copy of the peace treaty.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: Look, you two are giving up too easily. Now Patrick, pretend I’m SpongeBob.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Patrick: Then who am I?
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: You’re Patrick.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: Can I be Mr. Krabs?
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: No! Wait, why?
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: He’s a good leader.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: Would you butt out?
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Patrick: Hey, you can’t talk to Mr. Krabs like that, Squidward!
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: I’m SpongeBob, you’re Patrick! (Squidward throws a snowball at Patrick) Now, what are you going to do? (Patrick throws it back at Squidward) Patrick, why didn’t you hit SpongeBob?
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Patrick: You said you were SpongeBob, SpongeBob.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: (imitating Mr. Krabs) Arrgh it’s true, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work! (laughs)
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: Oh boy. Alright, I can see where this is going. Let’s just say for all intents and purposes that I, Squidward, am now part in this war. Now...
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: If you're in this war then where’s your fort?
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: I don’t have one, ok? Now...
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Patrick: You gotta have a fort, Squidward.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: Forts win wars, Squidward.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: (growls) Ok, fine? You want a fort? (makes a small snow fort) There, there’s your fort. Now...
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Patrick: That fort’s too small, Squidward.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: It’s ok, Patrick. It’s just a demonstration. Now...
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: He’s right, Squidward. That thing would never protect you, it’s downright puny.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: Trust me, it’s fine. (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward)
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: See, it is too small.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: Not if I crouch down. I mean, you didn’t even give me a chance to crouch down. (crouches down) See? Down here, I am perfectly... (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward)
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: Exposed.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: Would you two please... (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward) ...stop throwing... (Patrick throws another snowball at Squidward) ...snowballs?! (Patrick throws another snowball at Squidward. Squidward growls and retaliates with a snowball of his own but it puts out his fireplace again)
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: Squidward returned fire!
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Patrick: Then it’s war!
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: No, no...no, wait, wait, wait! (crouches down behind his snow fort) I was just giving a demonstration! (SpongeBob and Patrick throw lots of snowballs at Squidward. Squidward ends up looking like a snowman from all the snowballs that hit him) Alright, that’s it! You guys asked for it! (throws a snowball at SpongeBob) I got him! Ha! I got him! (laughs) In your face, SpongeBob! (laughs) This is actually kind of...exciting! Why I’ve never felt so alive!
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Patrick: (laughs) He got you good, SpongeBob! (Squidward throws lots of snowballs at SpongeBob and Patrick) Take cover! (Squidward continues to throw snowballs)
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: Oh yeah...
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Patrick: I think Squidward’s taking this really seriously. (Squidward's clarinet is wedged in Patrick's forehead) That last one had his clarinet in it.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
SpongeBob: It’s time for Plan B. (both tiptoe away while Squidward stops throwing snowballs)
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Squidward: What’s going on? The snowballs have stopped falling. I’d better take advantage of this momentary cease-fire. (notices his fort is a little lopsided and gasps) What? My left flank is exposed? That bloated starfish is gonna run right through me! (pats it down with more snow) I’ll just fix that right now. (laughs) Wait, that makes my north wall a weak spot! (pats some more snow on the north side) But if they attack from the rear, I’m a goner! (gasps) But what about the possibility of an aerial attack! (starts digging more snow on his fort. The scene cuts to a few seconds later where Squidward has a gigantic fort, near the top of the tree) Fort Squidward is now all but impenetrable! (laughs more) Now, where are those fools? (snow falls on Squidward’s head) The first shot has been fired! (throws a snowball while more snow falls on his head) Take this, Patrick! (throws another snowball as more snow falls on Squidward) Taste my frozen fury! (throws two snowballs. Zoom out to show the snow from the tree is falling on Squidward's head) Victory is mine! (laughs wildly) Well, I got you now! (Squidward keeps throwing snowballs while SpongeBob and Patrick are watching TV and sipping some cocoa)
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SpongeBob: Did you hear something, Patrick?
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Patrick: Nope.
 +
 
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TV: Let out the snowshoes and the shovels.
 +
 
 +
{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

Latest revision as of 05:22, 1 September 2022

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Doing Time
One Krab's Trash

Episode Article: Snowball Effect

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

Narrator: Ah, observe the majesty of the mighty iceberg. (scene cuts to a block of ice falling into the water) This frozen giant, normally found floating in polar regions, can sometimes stray into warmer waters causing dramatic changes in climate for tropical undersea life. (a giant block of ice floats over Bikini Bottom and it starts to snow underwater)

Realistic Fish Head: Yes, it seems Old Man Winter paid us a visit late last night, and he brought with him not a pillow or a sheet, but a blanket.... a blanket of snow! (view of Jellyfish Fields) Yes, from Jellyfish Fields... (view of Mr. Krabs' house) to residential abodes... (view of a traffic light changing from 'go' to 'stop' then back to 'go') to bustling downtown... (view of SpongeBob’s house) it’s nothing but the white stuff. (SpongeBob opens the front door)

SpongeBob: Whoopee!


Realistic Fish Head: And local residents are taking notice! (SpongeBob and Gary put on their Santa hats. Scene scrolls over to kids making ice sculptures, even Mr. Krabs making a sculpture of a dollar. Mrs. Puff walks over to her boat, covered in snow. She takes a deep breath and blows it all away then drives off, driving pass a guy covered in the snow she blew off)


Fred: Hey!


Plankton: (walks outside the Chum Bucket) What’s this? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy and rule the world! (laughs evilly but a bunch of snow falls on top of him) Ahh...oh, stop! I wish to rule you...! (he's now buried in snow. Scene cuts to Patrick)


Patrick: Snow angel! (laughs while on the ground flapping his hands and arms. He stands up but he only made a circle) Oh... (a snowball hits him in the side of the head) Hey! (SpongeBob whistles) Thanks a lot, SpongeBob! While you were just standing there, whistling, someone threw a snowball at me!


SpongeBob: Oh really, Patrick? (giggles) Did the snowball look like this? (Throws another snowball. This one hitting Patrick's eyes)


Patrick: Yeah. (SpongeBob laughs. Patrick runs over to SpongeBob) This is serious SpongeBob. Someone’s after me. I think I’d better leave town.


SpongeBob: Patrick, I threw it. We’re having a snowball fight. Don’t you get it?


Patrick: Snowball fight? I want to play! I want to play!


SpongeBob: Well first, you have to make a snowball.


Patrick: Oh yeah, snowball. (bends down and starts making a snowball) Oh, this is gonna be great! (shows his snowball but it's a cube) Huh? (tries making another snowball but it's a triangle) Wha...? (tries making another snowball but it's a double-helix) Aw...! SpongeBob, could you help me make a snowball?


SpongeBob: Sure, pal. (makes a snowball and hands it to Patrick)


Patrick: Thanks, buddy. (throws it at SpongeBob)


SpongeBob: Patrick! How could you?


Patrick: It’s a snowball fight, remember?


SpongeBob: Oh yeah. (two stare at each other then run back to their forts they made out of snow. They start to throw lots of snowballs at each other. Scene pans then cuts to inside Squidward's house where Squidward is sitting by the fire with his slippers on each tentacle)


Squidward: Ah, yes... Warm fire, cozy slippers, and a piping hot cup of tea with a lemon wedge. (squirts lemon juice in his eye) Why do I even bother? (Banging is heard outside. He looks outside to see SpongeBob and Patrick building snow forts) Would you two please keep it down?!


SpongeBob: Squidward! You’re just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we’ll defeat the Pink Menace!


Patrick: That’s me!


SpongeBob: I can start you off as a buck private, but with hard work, perhaps you’ll rise through the ranks and become a regular private!


Squidward: Thanks, but no thanks, Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me. (snickers) Got 'em both. (notices a snowball flying at him, so he ducks. The snowball puts out his fire.) Grrrrrrrr!! (Squidward closes his window)


SpongeBob: Patrick, you fool! This was over before it started! I will now consider your unconditional surren... (a snowball hits him in the face, sending him into the snow) ...der. (Patrick guffawls) So that’s how he wants it to go down. (takes off his Santa hat, revealing a funnel under it. Scoops up snow in the funnel and puts it on his head. He jumps up on his fort and starts shooting snowballs at Patrick very fast)


Patrick: (stands up, revealing a bunch of snowballs lined up on his forehead) Ha! You missed me! (SpongeBob shoots more snow into Patrick's mouth. Slow motion occurs then resumes to normal speed after Patrick swallows the snowballs. SpongeBob fires more snowballs and this time the snowballs get stuck)


SpongeBob: Score one for the boys back home! (Patrick walks up to Squidward's house and knocks on his door)


Squidward: Yes? Oh, Patrick. (Patrick is still choking) What an unpleasant surprise. Oh boy, nothing like a game of charades. (Patrick swallows the snowballs)


Patrick: I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow, but the snow melted and turned into water, and I drank all the water and now I’m better.


Squidward: Fascinating. (closes door) Now where was I? (another knock on the door) What?


Patrick: Can I use your bathroom?


Squidward: Patrick, go use your own bathroom.


Patrick: I don’t think I can make it! Please?


Squidward: No.


Patrick: Please?


Squidward: No.


Patrick: Please?


Squidward: No.


Patrick: Please?


Squidward: Ok, make it quick.


Patrick: That’s ok.

SpongeBob: Aha! Aiding the enemy! Caught you red-handed, Squidward!


Squidward: Look, SpongeBob, I was just... (SpongeBob throws a snowball at Squidward but it lands in his fire again, putting it out) SpongeBob! Oh... (picks up a snowball. SpongeBob shrieks)


Patrick: Yay, Squidward’s on my side!


Squidward: I most certainly am not!


SpongeBob: Then that means he’s on my side!


Squidward: No SpongeBob, I’m not on your side either. I’m on nobody’s side. Snowball fights are for immature children and I will not stoop to your level. (drops the snowball) If you two want to knock each others brains out with snowballs, kindly leave me out of it. (walks back inside)


Patrick: Come on SpongeBob, let’s go knock each other brains out! SpongeBob: I’m ready!


Squidward: Hmmm... (imagines Patrick throwing a snowball at SpongeBob, knocking his brain out) SpongeBob: Ok, Patrick, it’s out.


Squidward: (chuckles) Now there’s something I’d actually like to see! (takes a chair up to one of his windows) Nothing wrong with getting a front-row seat I suppose. (snickers) Ah. What’s this? (SpongeBob and Patrick are shaking hands) Wha...I...no! (walks back outside) What are you doing? You’re supposed to be knocking each other’s brains out!


SpongeBob: We signed a peace treaty, Squidward. (Patrick shows treaty) You were right, playing is for children.


Squidward: No, no, no, I misled you, it’s for adults too! Give me that peace treaty! (rips the treaty into pieces) There! Let the war continue!


SpongeBob: Squidward, that wasn’t the peace treaty. That was a copy of the peace treaty.


Squidward: Look, you two are giving up too easily. Now Patrick, pretend I’m SpongeBob.


Patrick: Then who am I?


Squidward: You’re Patrick.


SpongeBob: Can I be Mr. Krabs?


Squidward: No! Wait, why?


SpongeBob: He’s a good leader.


Squidward: Would you butt out?


Patrick: Hey, you can’t talk to Mr. Krabs like that, Squidward!


Squidward: I’m SpongeBob, you’re Patrick! (Squidward throws a snowball at Patrick) Now, what are you going to do? (Patrick throws it back at Squidward) Patrick, why didn’t you hit SpongeBob?


Patrick: You said you were SpongeBob, SpongeBob.


SpongeBob: (imitating Mr. Krabs) Arrgh it’s true, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work! (laughs)


Squidward: Oh boy. Alright, I can see where this is going. Let’s just say for all intents and purposes that I, Squidward, am now part in this war. Now...


SpongeBob: If you're in this war then where’s your fort?


Squidward: I don’t have one, ok? Now...


Patrick: You gotta have a fort, Squidward.


SpongeBob: Forts win wars, Squidward.


Squidward: (growls) Ok, fine? You want a fort? (makes a small snow fort) There, there’s your fort. Now...


Patrick: That fort’s too small, Squidward.


Squidward: It’s ok, Patrick. It’s just a demonstration. Now...


SpongeBob: He’s right, Squidward. That thing would never protect you, it’s downright puny.


Squidward: Trust me, it’s fine. (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward)


SpongeBob: See, it is too small.


Squidward: Not if I crouch down. I mean, you didn’t even give me a chance to crouch down. (crouches down) See? Down here, I am perfectly... (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward)


SpongeBob: Exposed.


Squidward: Would you two please... (Patrick throws a snowball at Squidward) ...stop throwing... (Patrick throws another snowball at Squidward) ...snowballs?! (Patrick throws another snowball at Squidward. Squidward growls and retaliates with a snowball of his own but it puts out his fireplace again)


SpongeBob: Squidward returned fire!


Patrick: Then it’s war!


Squidward: No, no...no, wait, wait, wait! (crouches down behind his snow fort) I was just giving a demonstration! (SpongeBob and Patrick throw lots of snowballs at Squidward. Squidward ends up looking like a snowman from all the snowballs that hit him) Alright, that’s it! You guys asked for it! (throws a snowball at SpongeBob) I got him! Ha! I got him! (laughs) In your face, SpongeBob! (laughs) This is actually kind of...exciting! Why I’ve never felt so alive!


Patrick: (laughs) He got you good, SpongeBob! (Squidward throws lots of snowballs at SpongeBob and Patrick) Take cover! (Squidward continues to throw snowballs)


Squidward: Oh yeah...


Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?


SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?


Patrick: I think Squidward’s taking this really seriously. (Squidward's clarinet is wedged in Patrick's forehead) That last one had his clarinet in it.


SpongeBob: It’s time for Plan B. (both tiptoe away while Squidward stops throwing snowballs)


Squidward: What’s going on? The snowballs have stopped falling. I’d better take advantage of this momentary cease-fire. (notices his fort is a little lopsided and gasps) What? My left flank is exposed? That bloated starfish is gonna run right through me! (pats it down with more snow) I’ll just fix that right now. (laughs) Wait, that makes my north wall a weak spot! (pats some more snow on the north side) But if they attack from the rear, I’m a goner! (gasps) But what about the possibility of an aerial attack! (starts digging more snow on his fort. The scene cuts to a few seconds later where Squidward has a gigantic fort, near the top of the tree) Fort Squidward is now all but impenetrable! (laughs more) Now, where are those fools? (snow falls on Squidward’s head) The first shot has been fired! (throws a snowball while more snow falls on his head) Take this, Patrick! (throws another snowball as more snow falls on Squidward) Taste my frozen fury! (throws two snowballs. Zoom out to show the snow from the tree is falling on Squidward's head) Victory is mine! (laughs wildly) Well, I got you now! (Squidward keeps throwing snowballs while SpongeBob and Patrick are watching TV and sipping some cocoa)


SpongeBob: Did you hear something, Patrick?


Patrick: Nope.


TV: Let out the snowshoes and the shovels.


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
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Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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