Episode Transcript: Squidtastic Voyage

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
+
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
 
*[[Gary]]
 
*[[Gary]]
*[[Sandy]]
+
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
+
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
  
Narrator: Today we study the gentle rhythm of the sea. (music blasting from SpongeBob’s house) Gentle rhythm! Oh, never mind.<br>
+
'''French Narrator''': ''Ah... today we study the gentle rhythm of the sea.'' (music is blasting from SpongeBob's house, so the narrator gets angry) ''Gentle rhythm!'' (in his normal voice) ''Oh, never mind.''
  
Gary: Meow. (hides in shell)<br>
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'''Gary''': Meow. (hides in shell)
  
SpongeBob: (moon walking) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! (makes armpit noises with Patrick) Ocean waves. (wiggles arms) Tropical waves.  
+
'''SpongeBob''': (moon walking) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! (makes armpit noises with Patrick) Ocean wave. (wiggles arms) Tropical breeze.  
(wiggles more)<br>
+
(wiggles more)
  
Patrick: Whirlpool. (spins around on his behind)<br>
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'''Patrick''': Whirlpool. (spins around on his behind)
  
SpongeBob: Reverse whirlpool. (does a reverse spin. Him and Patrick spin into each other causing them to bounce all over  
+
'''SpongeBob''': Reverse whirlpool. (does a reverse spin. He and Patrick spin into each other causing them to bounce all over  
the house. The vibrations are so great that one of Squidward's pictures falls onto the ground)<br>
+
the house. The vibrations are so great that one of Squidward's pictures falls onto the ground)
  
Squidward: Huh? (turns around) Grr! SpongeBob! Turn that noise off! This will get his attention. (plays his clarinet.  
+
'''Squidward''': Huh? (turns around) Grr! SpongeBob! Turn that noise off! This will get his attention. (plays his clarinet. SpongeBob comes out of the top of his pineapple, spinning his legs, and flies into Squidward causing the clarinet to get stuck in his throat)
SpongeBob comes out of the top of his pineapple, spinning his legs, and flies into Squidward causing the clarinet to get  
+
stuck in his throat)<br>
+
  
Squidward: Sponge... (note plays. Chokes)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Sponge... (note plays. Chokes)
  
SpongeBob: (gasps) Oh, Squidward, you swallowed your clarinet again! I’ll get it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) Oh, Squidward, you swallowed your clarinet again! I'll get it.
  
Squidward: (tries to get away from SpongeBob) No! No! Don't... (note plays) touch... (note plays) me! (note plays)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (tries to get away from SpongeBob) No! No! Don't... (note plays) touch... (note plays) me! (note plays)
  
SpongeBob: (grabs Squidward's mouth and opens it) I'll get a better look. Hmm... It’s too dark! This calls for extreme  
+
'''SpongeBob''': (grabs Squidward's mouth and opens it) I'll get a better look. Hmm... It's too dark! This calls for extreme measures. (tries to put Squidward's mouth over his body but he's too big. Outside, a mother and child are walking by as they hear strange noises. The mother puts her hands over her kid's ears and walks away with an angry look on her face, pulls out the clarinet) Got it! Hey, the pointy thing on the end is missing!
measures. (tries to put Squidward's mouth over his body but he's too big. Outside, a mother and child are walking by as  
+
they hear strange noises. The mother puts her hands over her kid's ears and walks away with an angry look on her face,  
+
pulls out the clarinet) Got it! Hey, the pointy thing on the end is missing!<br>
+
  
Squidward: It’s called a reed...eee!<br>
+
'''Squidward''': It's called a reed...eee!
  
SpongeBob: What’s a reed...eee?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': What's a reed...eee?
  
Squidward: Great! (high note) My reed... (note) is still... (note) stuck in my... (note) throat! (note) And it’s all your  
+
'''Squidward''': Great! (high note) My reed... (note) is still... (note) stuck in my... (note) throat! (note) And it's all your fault! (notes)
fault! (notes)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: There’s only one thing to do. We gotta see Sandy. (scene cuts to an x-ray of Squidward's throat)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': There's only one thing to do. We gotta see Sandy. (bubble-wipe to an x-ray of Squidward's throat)
  
Sandy: Hmm. Just as I thought. You’ve got that pointy thing from the end of your clarinet stuck in your throat. That was  
+
'''Sandy''': Hmm. Just as I thought. You've got that pointy bit from the end of your clarinet stuck in your throat. ''That'' was clumsy of you.
clumsy of you.<br>
+
  
Squidward: I didn’t. It was SpongeBob that... (note)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': I didn't. It was SpongeBob that... (note)
  
Sandy: Well, there’s nothing to do for it but surgery. (runs off with Squidward)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Well, there's nothing to do for it but surgery. (runs off with Squidward)
  
SpongeBob: Ooh... (follows them to a submarine-like machine)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Ooh... (follows them to a submarine-like machine)
  
Sandy: Now’s my chance to try out my new invention -- the solution to your problem.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Now's my chance to try out my new invention -- the solution to your problem.
  
Squidward: A submarine? (note)<br>
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'''Squidward''': A submarine? (note)
  
Sandy: That’s right, Squidward. Let me show you. (walks into a lab where Squidward's body is on screen) This entire room is  
+
'''Sandy''': That's right, Squidward. Let me show you. (walks into a lab where Squidward's body is on screen) This whole lab is called the Chamber of Shrinkage. I'll shrink the sub and myself down to microscopic size... (simulation does so) ...then navigate through your brain, down into your throat and extract the reed from inside. Simple!
called the Chamber of Shrinkage. I’ll shrink the sub and myself down to microscopic size... (simulation does so) ...then  
+
navigate through your brain, down into your throat and extract the reed from inside. Simple!<br>
+
  
Squidward: Why don’t you just shrink the reed?<br>
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'''Squidward''': Why don't you just shrink the reed?
  
Sandy: (laughs) Oh, Squidward, always wanting to do it the hard way! (cut to Squidward sitting in a chair with a white gown  
+
'''Sandy''': (laughs) Oh, Squidward, always wanting to do it the hard way! (bubble-wipe to Squidward sitting in a chair with a white gown on) We're all set, Squidward! Are you ready for the sedative?
on) We’re all set, Squidward! Are you ready for the sedative?<br>
+
  
Squidward: Are you sure this is safe?<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Are you sure this is safe?
  
Sandy: Completely! As long as someone competent is behind the wheel. Hey, what’s that? (Squidward looks then Sandy knocks
+
'''Sandy''': Completely! As long as someone competent is behind the wheel. Hey, what's that? (Squidward looks. Knocks him out with a karate chop) Sweet dreams, partner! Oops! I forgot to pack food for the trip. I've got to get some supplies from my treedome, and I need you to guard the submarine while I'm gone. (SpongeBob smiles) Do you think you can handle it, SpongeBob?
him out with a karate chop) Sweet dreams, partner! Oops! I forgot to pack food for the trip. I've got to get some supplies  
+
from my treedome, and I need you to guard the submarine while I’m gone. (SpongeBob smiles) Do you think you can handle it,  
+
SpongeBob?<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Can do, Sandy! (cut to SpongeBob walking back and forth, guarding the submarine) Hut-hut-hut, hut-hut-hut! Hut-
+
'''SpongeBob''': Can do, Sandy! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking back and forth, guarding the submarine) Hut-hut-hut, hut-hut-hut! Hut-hut-hut, huppity-hup-hut!
hut-hut, hut-hut-hut!<br>
+
  
Patrick: (walks up to SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob.<br>
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'''Patrick''': (walks up to SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob.
  
SpongeBob: Hello, citizen.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Hello, citizen.
  
Patrick: What are you doing?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': What are you doing?
  
SpongeBob: Guarding Sandy’s submarine.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Guarding Sandy's submarine.
  
Patrick: Wow! I’ve never been in a submarine. Let’s look inside.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Wow! I've never been in a submarine. Let's look inside.
  
SpongeBob: Can’t. I’m guarding it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Can't. I'm guarding it.
  
Patrick: Oh, man! Could you guard it from the inside?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Oh, man! Can't you guard it from the inside?
  
SpongeBob: (stops) You’re right! (bows to Patrick) Patrick, you’re a genius! (presses the 'OPEN' button to open the  
+
'''SpongeBob''': (stops) You're right! (bows to Patrick) Patrick, you're a genius! (presses the "OPEN" button to open the submarine)
submarine)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! (both salute)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Ooh! (both salute)
  
SpongeBob: SpongeBob and Patrick reporting for guard duty. (both laugh and go inside. They push buttons and pretend to  
+
'''SpongeBob''': SpongeBob and Patrick reporting for guard duty. (both he and Patrick laugh and fly inside, landing in the seats. They push buttons and pretend to actually be using the submarine)
actually be using the submarine)<br>
+
  
Patrick: Hmmm..."Shrink". I do have a lot of issues. (presses button and an alarm blares. SpongeBob and Patrick look at the  
+
'''Patrick''': Hmmm..."Shrink". I do have a lot of issues. (presses button and an alarm blares. SpongeBob and Patrick look at the flashing light)
flashing light)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Pretty. (submarine shrinks a little)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Pretty. (submarine shrinks a little)
  
Sandy: I'm back, SpongeBob. (drops box of nuts) Uh-oh. (SpongeBob shrinks)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': I'm back, SpongeBob. (drops box of nuts) Uh-oh. (SpongeBob shrinks)
  
Patrick: (laughs) You’re so tiny. (shrinks) Aah, a giant SpongeBob! (submarine shrinks completely. A robot hand grabs the  
+
'''Patrick''': (laughs) You're so tiny. (shrinks) Aah, a giant SpongeBob! (submarine shrinks completely. A robot hand grabs the submarine)
submarine)<br>
+
  
Sandy: Patrick! SpongeBob!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Patrick! SpongeBob!
  
Patrick: Ahh, Sandy’s grown to gigantic size!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Ahh, Sandy's grown to gigantic size!
  
SpongeBob: I don’t think Sandy grew, Patrick! I think we shrunk.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': I don't think Sandy grew, Patrick! I think we shrunk.
  
Patrick: Pfft, that’s silly! Don't you think it's more likely that the entire world grew? (robot hand takes the submarine  
+
'''Patrick''': Pfft, that's silly! Don't you think it's more likely that the entire world grew? (robot hand takes the submarine and sticks it in Squidward's nose)
and sticks it in Squidward's nose)<br>
+
  
Sandy: Hi, Squidward. Well, the submarine is safely inside you.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Hi, Squidward. Well, the submarine is safely inside you.
  
Squidward: Wonderful! Wait! If you're out here, then who's in here? (holds head)<br>
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'''Squidward''': Wonderful! Wait! If you're out here, then who's in ''here''? (holds head)
  
Sandy: Well, why don’t you take a look for yourself? (pulls down a monitor showing SpongeBob and Patrick in the submarine  
+
'''Sandy''': Well, why don't you take a look for yourself? (pulls down a monitor showing SpongeBob and Patrick in the submarine inside of Squidward)
inside of Squidward)<br>
+
  
Squidward: (screams) SpongeBob and Patrick are piloting a miniature submarine inside my head. SpongeBob and Patrick...  
+
'''Squidward''': (screams) SpongeBob and Patrick are piloting a miniature submarine inside my head. SpongeBob and Patrick... SpongeBob and... (chuckles nervously then screams)
SpongeBob and... (chuckles nervously then screams)<br>
+
  
Sandy: You gotta calm down, Squidward. With them little critters inside you, I wouldn’t be moving around too much. You  
+
'''Sandy''': You better calm down, Squidward. With them little critters inside you, I wouldn't be moving around too much. You could knock them into something important. (cut to inside Squidward’s nose)
could knock them into something important. (cut to inside Squidward’s nose)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Where are we, Patrick?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Where are we, Patrick?
  
Patrick: I don’t know. But it’s a real dump.<br>
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'''Patrick''': I don't know. But it's a real dump.
  
Sandy: (over speaker) SpongeBob, Patrick, can you hear me?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': (over speaker) SpongeBob, Patrick, can you hear me?
  
SpongeBob: It's Sandy.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': It's Sandy.
  
Patrick: She’s in there? (pulls out an axe) I’ll save you, Sandy! (chops away at the control panel)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': She's in ''there''? (pulls out an axe) I'll save you, Sandy! (chops away at the control panel)
  
Sandy: Stop it, you itty-bitty idiot! (engine sputters and dies)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Stop it, you idi-idi-idiot! (engine sputters and dies)
  
SpongeBob: Sandy, where are you? Where are we?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, where ''are'' you? Where are ''we''?
  
Sandy: You’re trespassing, SpongeBob -- in my lab, in my submarine -- and you’re trespassing inside of Squidward!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': You're trespassing, SpongeBob -- in my lab, in my submarine -- and you're trespassing inside of Squidward!
  
Patrick: I thought this place was in bad shape.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I ''thought'' this place was in bad shape.
  
Squidward: (over speaker) I heard that!<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (over speaker) I heard that!
  
Sandy: Let’s get you out of there, SpongeBob. All you need to do is locate the auto-pilot. It’ll safely take you through  
+
'''Sandy''': Let's get you ''out'' of there, SpongeBob. All you need to do is locate the auto-pilot. It'll safely take you through your mission, and then out the extraction point. (points to Squidward's rear-end on the computer screen. The submarine controls explode)
your mission, and then out the extraction point. (points to Squidward’s rear-end on the computer screen. The submarine  
+
controls explode)
+
  
SpongeBob: Um...we broke it! (Patrick chops at it again with the axe)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Um...we ''broke'' it! (Patrick chops at it again with the axe)
  
Sandy: Stop it! What are you trying to do? Kill him?
+
'''Sandy''': Stop it! What are you trying to do?! Kill him?! (Squidward starts sweating nervously. Inside the submarine, SpongeBob and Patrick are seated again) This is approximately 17 times harder to drive than a boat mobile, which you're never successfully done. (laughs nervously) So, just take it nice and easy.
  
Squidward:(starts sweating nervously)
+
'''SpongeBob''': No problemo. Nice and...EASY!!! (pushes the gas pedal to the floor making the submarine go as fast as it can. Both Patrick and SpongeBob are screaming at the top their lungs as they head towards the brain)
  
Sandy: This is approximately 17 times harder to drive than a boat mobile, which you’ve never successfully done. So, just take it nice and easy.
+
'''Squidward''': So, how's it going? (tires screech, metal crashes, and Squidward makes a hissing sound as SpongeBob and Patrick drive into the brain. They get unstuck but crash a lot into the brain making Squidward go insane and causing his eyes to roll rapidly) I can't control my eyeballs!
  
SpongeBob: No problemo. Nice and...easy! (pushes the gas pedal to the floor making the submarine go as fast as it can. Both
+
'''Sandy''': Don't worry, it's temporary. Now, just sign this! (holds out a waiver)
Patrick and SpongeBob are screaming as they head towards the brain)<br>
+
  
Squidward: So, how’s it going? (tires screech, metal crashes, and Squidward makes a hissing sound as SpongeBob and Patrick
+
'''Squidward''': (signs) OK, now what is ''this''?
drove into the brain. They get unstuck but crash a lot into the brain making Squidward go insane) I can’t control my
+
eyeballs!<br>
+
  
Sandy: Don’t worry, it’s temporary. Now, just sign this! (holds out a waiver)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Oh, just your autograph, uh, for when you’re, uhh, famous.
  
Squidward: (signs) Ok, now what is this?<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Oh, of course. I've got head shots, you know. (shows pictures of himself then drops them and hits himself) What the...?
  
Sandy: Oh, just your autograph for when you’re, uhh, famous.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Squidward! (Squidward chokes himself then punches Sandy)
  
Squidward: Oh, of course. I’ve got head shots, you know. (shows pictures of himself then drops them and hits himself) What
+
'''Squidward''': What's happening?! (SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting over the controls which causes them to keep crashing into Squidward's nervous system)
the...<br>
+
  
Sandy: Squidward! (Squidward chokes himself then punches Sandy)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob & Patrick''': (talking among themselves) Give me that! Give it back! No! Give it! Give it back!
  
Squidward: What’s happening? (SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting over the controls which causes them to keep crashing into
+
'''Sandy''': They're hitting your central nervous system. (Squidward punches himself) You're not in control of your actions! (Squidward kicks Sandy in the rear) Hey...
  
Squidward's nervous system)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not in control of my actions. (Sandy gets mad because she knew it was on purpose. SoongeBob and Patrick bounce off Squidward's nervous system)
  
SpongeBob: Give it back!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': They've gone off course! (Squidward is spinning in his chair then is tossed into the back where he is doing more crazy twitches) Oh my gosh! They're out of control! (SpongeBob and Patrick land in some green acid)
  
Patrick: No, you give it back!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Ew! Where the hell are we? (Squidward's stomach rumbles. The submarine is getting dissolved in the green acid) Mayday! Mayday! We're sinking! And Patrick won't stop screaming!
  
Sandy: They’re hitting your central nervous system!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Those stomach acid levels are way too high!
  
Squidward: (punches self) You think?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': The reserve tanks are almost empty. (Patrick grunts) Patrick! (Patrick is using the axe to chop at the tanks)
  
Sandy: You’re not in control of your actions! (Squidward kicks Sandy in the rear) Hey...<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Finished.
  
Squidward: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m not in control of my actions.
+
'''Sandy''': SpongeBob, you gotta get out of there! It's a straight shot up the stomach to the esophagus where the reed is! (note plays) You can complete your mission if we can just access an alternative fuel. Like natural gas.
  
Sandy:(gets mad(because she knew it was on purpose))
+
'''SpongeBob''': Natural gas?
  
SpongeBob and Patrick:(bounce off Squidward’s nervous system)
+
'''Patrick''': Like this! (drinks a soda and burps loudly)
<br>
+
  
Sandy: They’re headed off course! (Squidward is spinning in his chair then is tossed into the back where he is doing more
+
'''Squidward''': Stop burping inside me! That's disgusting!
crazy twitches)<br>
+
  
Sandy: Oh my gosh! You're out of control! (SpongeBob and Patrick land in some green goo)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': ''Wait'' a minute, Squidward. They might be on to something.
  
SpongeBob: Ew! Where are we? (Squidward’s stomach rumbles. The submarine is getting dissolved in the green acid)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': What?
  
SpongeBob: Mayday! Mayday! We’re sinking! And Patrick won’t stop screaming!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': If you can make a big enough burp...
  
Sandy: The stomach acid levels are way too high!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': We can filter the CO2 through our ballast tanks, refire the engines, and ride the shockwave out of here.
  
SpongeBob: The reverse tanks are almost empty. (Patrick grunts) Patrick! (Patrick is using the axe to chop at the tanks)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Wow.
  
Patrick: Finished.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': He's right.
  
Sandy: SpongeBob, you gotta get out of there! It’s a straight shot up the stomach to the esophagus where the reed is! (note
+
'''Squidward''': What?
plays) You can complete your mission if we can just access an alternative fuel. Like natural, gas.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Natural gas?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': We're going through with your plan, Patrick!
  
Patrick: Like this! (drinks a soda and burps loudly)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yay!
  
Squidward: Stop burping inside me! That’s disgusting!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': What plan? (Squidward drinks a bunch of soda)
  
Sandy: Wait a minute, Squidward. He might be on to something.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Now ''burp'', Squidward! Lives are on the line! (Squidward tries to burp)
  
Squidward: What?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': I never thought it would end this way. (Squidward burps loudly sending the submarine up and out of the stomach)
 +
It's working! (natural gas readings are full)
  
Sandy: If you can make a big enough burp...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Whee!
  
Patrick: We can filter the CO2 through out ballast tanks, refire the engines, and ride the shockwave out of here.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': They're heading for the esophagus. (smells Squidward's burp) Phew, what have you been ''eating''?
  
SpongeBob: Wow.<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Morons. (the submarine crashes into Squidward's throat where the reed is at)
  
Sandy: He’s right.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': SpongeBob to Sandy. We've reached the foreign obstruction. (swims out with a bathing suit on)
  
Squidward: What?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': OK, you're going to have to go out and dislodge it somehow.
  
Sandy: We’re going through with your plan, Patrick!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': I'm already on it. (takes out a hammer and hits the reed with it. Time card appears)
  
SpongeBob: Yay!<br>
+
'''French Narrator''': ''Two hours later...''
  
Patrick: What plan? (Squidward drinks a bunch of soda)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': This stupid hammer won't break anything. (throws it at the reed. The hammer bounces back and cuts SpongeBob’s water arm floatation, making him bounce everywhere)
  
Sandy: Now burp, Squidward! Lives are on the line! (Squidward tries to burp)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (peers out of the sub) SpongeBob, do what you were born to do! Dance!
  
SpongeBob: I never thought it would end this way. (Squidward burps loudly sending the submarine up and out of the stomach)
+
'''SpongeBob''': You're right Patrick. Whirlpool Spin! (cuts the reed in half with the spin causing Squidward to spit it out)
It's working! (natural gas readings are full)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Whee!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Good work, guys! Mission accomplished. Now all you have to do is...
  
Sandy: They’re headed for the esophagus. (smells Squidward’s burp) Phew, what have you been eating?<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (pushes Sandy out of the way) Get the heck out of my body! GO!
  
Squidward: Morons. (the submarine crashes into Squidward's throat where the reed is at)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Grow? (presses the "GROW" button which sounds an alarm)
  
SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Sandy. We've reached the foreign obstruction. (swims out with a bathing suit on)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob, Squidward and Sandy''': '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!''' (scene cuts to black. Cut to the Krusty Krab)
  
Sandy: Ok, you're going to have to go out and dislodge it somehow.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Almost ready to open. (cleans his "NO REFUNDS" sign) There.
  
SpongeBob: I’m already on it. (takes out a hammer and hits the reed with it)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (walks in) Good morning, Mr. Krabs.
  
Narrator: Two hours later...<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Hello, Squidward. Neptune's trousers! What's gotten into you? (camera zooms out to show Squidward with a submarine-shaped body)
  
SpongeBob: This stupid hammer won’t break anything. (throws it at the reed. The hammer bounces back and cuts SpongeBob’s
+
'''SpongeBob''': (inside Squidward) Reporting for duty, Mr. Krabs. (toilet flushes)
water arm floatation, making him bounce everywhere)<br>
+
  
Patrick: SpongeBob, do what you were born to do! Dance!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Squidward, the toilet's backed up again. (Squidward growls in anger)
 
+
SpongeBob: You’re right Patrick. Whirlpool Spin! (cuts the reed in half with the spin causing Squidward to spit it out)<br>
+
 
+
Sandy: Good work, guys! Mission accomplished. Now all you have to do is...<br>
+
 
+
Squidward: (pushes Sandy out of the way) Get out of my body! Go!<br>
+
 
+
Patrick: Grow? (pushes the 'GROW' button which sounds an alarm. Everyone screams. Cut to the Krusty Krab)<br>
+
 
+
Mr. Krabs: Almost ready to open. (cleans his 'NO REFUNDS' sign) There.<br>
+
 
+
Squidward: (walks in) Good morning, Mr. Krabs.<br>
+
 
+
Mr. Krabs: Hello, Squidward. Neptune's trousers! What’s gotten into you? (zoom out to show Squidward with a submarine-shaped
+
body)<br>
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SpongeBob: (inside Squidward) Reporting for duty, Mr. Krabs. (toilet flushes)<br>
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Patrick: Squidward, the toilet’s backed up again.
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Latest revision as of 16:29, 7 October 2024

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Wigstruck That's No Lady

Episode Article: Squidtastic Voyage

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

French Narrator: Ah... today we study the gentle rhythm of the sea. (music is blasting from SpongeBob's house, so the narrator gets angry) Gentle rhythm! (in his normal voice) Oh, never mind.

Gary: Meow. (hides in shell)

SpongeBob: (moon walking) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! (makes armpit noises with Patrick) Ocean wave. (wiggles arms) Tropical breeze. (wiggles more)

Patrick: Whirlpool. (spins around on his behind)

SpongeBob: Reverse whirlpool. (does a reverse spin. He and Patrick spin into each other causing them to bounce all over the house. The vibrations are so great that one of Squidward's pictures falls onto the ground)

Squidward: Huh? (turns around) Grr! SpongeBob! Turn that noise off! This will get his attention. (plays his clarinet. SpongeBob comes out of the top of his pineapple, spinning his legs, and flies into Squidward causing the clarinet to get stuck in his throat)

Squidward: Sponge... (note plays. Chokes)

SpongeBob: (gasps) Oh, Squidward, you swallowed your clarinet again! I'll get it.

Squidward: (tries to get away from SpongeBob) No! No! Don't... (note plays) touch... (note plays) me! (note plays)

SpongeBob: (grabs Squidward's mouth and opens it) I'll get a better look. Hmm... It's too dark! This calls for extreme measures. (tries to put Squidward's mouth over his body but he's too big. Outside, a mother and child are walking by as they hear strange noises. The mother puts her hands over her kid's ears and walks away with an angry look on her face, pulls out the clarinet) Got it! Hey, the pointy thing on the end is missing!

Squidward: It's called a reed...eee!

SpongeBob: What's a reed...eee?

Squidward: Great! (high note) My reed... (note) is still... (note) stuck in my... (note) throat! (note) And it's all your fault! (notes)

SpongeBob: There's only one thing to do. We gotta see Sandy. (bubble-wipe to an x-ray of Squidward's throat)

Sandy: Hmm. Just as I thought. You've got that pointy bit from the end of your clarinet stuck in your throat. That was clumsy of you.

Squidward: I didn't. It was SpongeBob that... (note)

Sandy: Well, there's nothing to do for it but surgery. (runs off with Squidward)

SpongeBob: Ooh... (follows them to a submarine-like machine)

Sandy: Now's my chance to try out my new invention -- the solution to your problem.

Squidward: A submarine? (note)

Sandy: That's right, Squidward. Let me show you. (walks into a lab where Squidward's body is on screen) This whole lab is called the Chamber of Shrinkage. I'll shrink the sub and myself down to microscopic size... (simulation does so) ...then navigate through your brain, down into your throat and extract the reed from inside. Simple!

Squidward: Why don't you just shrink the reed?

Sandy: (laughs) Oh, Squidward, always wanting to do it the hard way! (bubble-wipe to Squidward sitting in a chair with a white gown on) We're all set, Squidward! Are you ready for the sedative?

Squidward: Are you sure this is safe?

Sandy: Completely! As long as someone competent is behind the wheel. Hey, what's that? (Squidward looks. Knocks him out with a karate chop) Sweet dreams, partner! Oops! I forgot to pack food for the trip. I've got to get some supplies from my treedome, and I need you to guard the submarine while I'm gone. (SpongeBob smiles) Do you think you can handle it, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Can do, Sandy! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking back and forth, guarding the submarine) Hut-hut-hut, hut-hut-hut! Hut-hut-hut, huppity-hup-hut!

Patrick: (walks up to SpongeBob) Hi, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hello, citizen.

Patrick: What are you doing?

SpongeBob: Guarding Sandy's submarine.

Patrick: Wow! I've never been in a submarine. Let's look inside.

SpongeBob: Can't. I'm guarding it.

Patrick: Oh, man! Can't you guard it from the inside?

SpongeBob: (stops) You're right! (bows to Patrick) Patrick, you're a genius! (presses the "OPEN" button to open the submarine)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! (both salute)

SpongeBob: SpongeBob and Patrick reporting for guard duty. (both he and Patrick laugh and fly inside, landing in the seats. They push buttons and pretend to actually be using the submarine)

Patrick: Hmmm..."Shrink". I do have a lot of issues. (presses button and an alarm blares. SpongeBob and Patrick look at the flashing light)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Pretty. (submarine shrinks a little)

Sandy: I'm back, SpongeBob. (drops box of nuts) Uh-oh. (SpongeBob shrinks)

Patrick: (laughs) You're so tiny. (shrinks) Aah, a giant SpongeBob! (submarine shrinks completely. A robot hand grabs the submarine)

Sandy: Patrick! SpongeBob!

Patrick: Ahh, Sandy's grown to gigantic size!

SpongeBob: I don't think Sandy grew, Patrick! I think we shrunk.

Patrick: Pfft, that's silly! Don't you think it's more likely that the entire world grew? (robot hand takes the submarine and sticks it in Squidward's nose)

Sandy: Hi, Squidward. Well, the submarine is safely inside you.

Squidward: Wonderful! Wait! If you're out here, then who's in here? (holds head)

Sandy: Well, why don't you take a look for yourself? (pulls down a monitor showing SpongeBob and Patrick in the submarine inside of Squidward)

Squidward: (screams) SpongeBob and Patrick are piloting a miniature submarine inside my head. SpongeBob and Patrick... SpongeBob and... (chuckles nervously then screams)

Sandy: You better calm down, Squidward. With them little critters inside you, I wouldn't be moving around too much. You could knock them into something important. (cut to inside Squidward’s nose)

SpongeBob: Where are we, Patrick?

Patrick: I don't know. But it's a real dump.

Sandy: (over speaker) SpongeBob, Patrick, can you hear me?

SpongeBob: It's Sandy.

Patrick: She's in there? (pulls out an axe) I'll save you, Sandy! (chops away at the control panel)

Sandy: Stop it, you idi-idi-idiot! (engine sputters and dies)

SpongeBob: Sandy, where are you? Where are we?

Sandy: You're trespassing, SpongeBob -- in my lab, in my submarine -- and you're trespassing inside of Squidward!

Patrick: I thought this place was in bad shape.

Squidward: (over speaker) I heard that!

Sandy: Let's get you out of there, SpongeBob. All you need to do is locate the auto-pilot. It'll safely take you through your mission, and then out the extraction point. (points to Squidward's rear-end on the computer screen. The submarine controls explode)

SpongeBob: Um...we broke it! (Patrick chops at it again with the axe)

Sandy: Stop it! What are you trying to do?! Kill him?! (Squidward starts sweating nervously. Inside the submarine, SpongeBob and Patrick are seated again) This is approximately 17 times harder to drive than a boat mobile, which you're never successfully done. (laughs nervously) So, just take it nice and easy.

SpongeBob: No problemo. Nice and...EASY!!! (pushes the gas pedal to the floor making the submarine go as fast as it can. Both Patrick and SpongeBob are screaming at the top their lungs as they head towards the brain)

Squidward: So, how's it going? (tires screech, metal crashes, and Squidward makes a hissing sound as SpongeBob and Patrick drive into the brain. They get unstuck but crash a lot into the brain making Squidward go insane and causing his eyes to roll rapidly) I can't control my eyeballs!

Sandy: Don't worry, it's temporary. Now, just sign this! (holds out a waiver)

Squidward: (signs) OK, now what is this?

Sandy: Oh, just your autograph, uh, for when you’re, uhh, famous.

Squidward: Oh, of course. I've got head shots, you know. (shows pictures of himself then drops them and hits himself) What the...?

Sandy: Squidward! (Squidward chokes himself then punches Sandy)

Squidward: What's happening?! (SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting over the controls which causes them to keep crashing into Squidward's nervous system)

SpongeBob & Patrick: (talking among themselves) Give me that! Give it back! No! Give it! Give it back!

Sandy: They're hitting your central nervous system. (Squidward punches himself) You're not in control of your actions! (Squidward kicks Sandy in the rear) Hey...

Squidward: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not in control of my actions. (Sandy gets mad because she knew it was on purpose. SoongeBob and Patrick bounce off Squidward's nervous system)

Sandy: They've gone off course! (Squidward is spinning in his chair then is tossed into the back where he is doing more crazy twitches) Oh my gosh! They're out of control! (SpongeBob and Patrick land in some green acid)

SpongeBob: Ew! Where the hell are we? (Squidward's stomach rumbles. The submarine is getting dissolved in the green acid) Mayday! Mayday! We're sinking! And Patrick won't stop screaming!

Sandy: Those stomach acid levels are way too high!

SpongeBob: The reserve tanks are almost empty. (Patrick grunts) Patrick! (Patrick is using the axe to chop at the tanks)

Patrick: Finished.

Sandy: SpongeBob, you gotta get out of there! It's a straight shot up the stomach to the esophagus where the reed is! (note plays) You can complete your mission if we can just access an alternative fuel. Like natural gas.

SpongeBob: Natural gas?

Patrick: Like this! (drinks a soda and burps loudly)

Squidward: Stop burping inside me! That's disgusting!

Sandy: Wait a minute, Squidward. They might be on to something.

Squidward: What?

Sandy: If you can make a big enough burp...

Patrick: We can filter the CO2 through our ballast tanks, refire the engines, and ride the shockwave out of here.

SpongeBob: Wow.

Sandy: He's right.

Squidward: What?

Sandy: We're going through with your plan, Patrick!

SpongeBob: Yay!

Patrick: What plan? (Squidward drinks a bunch of soda)

Sandy: Now burp, Squidward! Lives are on the line! (Squidward tries to burp)

SpongeBob: I never thought it would end this way. (Squidward burps loudly sending the submarine up and out of the stomach) It's working! (natural gas readings are full)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Whee!

Sandy: They're heading for the esophagus. (smells Squidward's burp) Phew, what have you been eating?

Squidward: Morons. (the submarine crashes into Squidward's throat where the reed is at)

SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Sandy. We've reached the foreign obstruction. (swims out with a bathing suit on)

Sandy: OK, you're going to have to go out and dislodge it somehow.

SpongeBob: I'm already on it. (takes out a hammer and hits the reed with it. Time card appears)

French Narrator: Two hours later...

SpongeBob: This stupid hammer won't break anything. (throws it at the reed. The hammer bounces back and cuts SpongeBob’s water arm floatation, making him bounce everywhere)

Patrick: (peers out of the sub) SpongeBob, do what you were born to do! Dance!

SpongeBob: You're right Patrick. Whirlpool Spin! (cuts the reed in half with the spin causing Squidward to spit it out)

Sandy: Good work, guys! Mission accomplished. Now all you have to do is...

Squidward: (pushes Sandy out of the way) Get the heck out of my body! GO!

Patrick: Grow? (presses the "GROW" button which sounds an alarm)

SpongeBob, Squidward and Sandy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (scene cuts to black. Cut to the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: Almost ready to open. (cleans his "NO REFUNDS" sign) There.

Squidward: (walks in) Good morning, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Hello, Squidward. Neptune's trousers! What's gotten into you? (camera zooms out to show Squidward with a submarine-shaped body)

SpongeBob: (inside Squidward) Reporting for duty, Mr. Krabs. (toilet flushes)

Patrick: Squidward, the toilet's backed up again. (Squidward growls in anger)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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