Episode Transcript: Nature Pants
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Episode Article: Nature Pants
(SpongeBob is grilling patties until one of them turns into a jellyfish and floats out the window. The rest of the patties turn into jellyfish and buzz out the window. SpongeBob flies out the window and turns into a jellyfish. Buzzes around jellyfish fields when he hears Mr. Krabs voice)
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? SpongeBob! (the grill is on fire) Wake up, boy! You’re burning me money! (SpongeBob wakes up from his dream and screams. Then runs behind Mr. Krabs)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, what do we do?
Mr. Krabs: Here, use this! (Hands SpongeBob a fire extinguisher. SpongeBob throws the F.E. at the grill and sets the fire larger than before. SpongeBob tries to blow on the fire to put it out until a fireman comes into the kitchen with a hose and sprays SpongeBob with the water. SpongeBob enlarges and falls backwards, which puts out the fire)
Mr. Krabs & Fireman: Hooray! (SpongeBob shrinks and burns into a black sponge while Mr. Krabs scrapes him off the grill and onto a spatula)
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, come into me office. (in Mr. Krabs office) What’s wrong, boy?
SpongeBob: Well, I...
Mr. Krabs: This is the fourth time this week I’ve had to scrape you off of something.
SpongeBob: Well, I’ve been thinking.
Mr. Krabs: We need to get you thinking about work. (stretches his eyes out)
SpongeBob: No offense, Mr.. Krabs, but I’ve been thinking about giving up my cold industrial life in favor of a more natural and free life among the jellyfish. (Mr. Krabs laughs)
Mr. Krabs: Ah, SpongeBob, you wouldn’t last even one day in the wild. This is your natural habitat. (shows kitchen) This is your wide-open range. (shows grill) These are your amber waves. (shows greasy fryers) And this... (picks up a spatula from the sink) ...ohh, this is your golden scepter, with which you rule! That’s better than nasty old jellyfish, right, SpongeBob? (SpongeBob is gone) SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: (walks out the krusty krab) I can too last more than one day. I’ll show him. Aww, barnacles! (throws his hat on the ground)
Mr. Krabs: (opens doors) SpongeBob, wait! (sees SpongeBob's hat on the ground and screams) Oh, he’ll be back, alright. He’ll be back. (SpongeBob is now giving his stuff away to his friends)
SpongeBob: And Squidward, I want you to have my can opener. (gives it to him)
Squidward: And I thought this friendship would never pay off. (walks away)
Patrick: (teary-eyed) Are...are...are...are you sure you want to give me this mayonnaise?
SpongeBob: It’s all yours. (Patrick holds up a bunch of phonebooks)
Patrick: A-a-and these old phone books?
SpongeBob: All yours, old friend. (walks off) Patrick, there is one more thing I want you to have. (opens up a rectangluar box that has the words "OL' RELIABLE" on the front. A glowing jellyfish net is inside. SpongeBob throws the phonebooks away and picks up ol' reliable)
Patrick: Ol’ Reliable?! (cries as Sandy walks up)
Sandy: Howdy, y’all. Hey SpongeBob, you having a garage sale?
SpongeBob: No Sandy, I’m giving up my material possessions to live in the wild with the jellyfish.
Sandy: SpongeBob, of all the crazy schemes. Why would you want to live among the jellyfish? They’re cold and mean and none too bright. (Sponge pats Sandy's helmett)
SpongeBob: Oh, oh, Sandy. That’s exactly the response I would expect from someone who lives the sham of a life I once lived. I’m going to prove I don’t need all this stuff to be happy. (walks away) Maybe someday you’ll wise up and join me. Good-bye. (walks behind a bush and takes his pants off) I won’t be needing these. (drops pants and runs away) Buzz, buzz, buzz.
Squidward: He took off his pants.
Sandy: I’ll give him a week. (walks away)
Squidward: I’ll give him eleven minutes. (walks away)
Patrick: Patrick sad! (at Jellyfish Fields)
SpongeBob: (touches 'Jellyfish Fields' sign) I’m home. I’m home! I’m home! I’m home, I’m home, I’m home, I’m home, I’m home, I’m home, I’m home, I’m home, I'm home! (jellyfish knock SpongeBob down as they fly by) Brothers and sisters, wait for me! (jellyfish fly into a hive) Buzz-buzz. Buzz-buzz. Ok, I’m here! (jellyfish fly out of hive) Wait, I just got here. My jellyfish instincts tell me to go... (sticks his finger in his mouth and then in his head) ...that way. (points to where the jellyfish went) Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. (running after jellyfish all over the fields. Jellyfish devour a bunch of kelp. SpongeBob decides to try it but is disgusted and spits it out) This is the life. (jellyfish are floating in the middle of the fields as SpongeBob walks into the middle of the group) Hey everybody, buzz-buzz. Buzz to you. Buzz, buzz, nice current today. Hey, what’s the buzz? (wants to shake a jellyfish's hand) Hello, I’m Jellybob, and you are? (jellyfish stings him and his arm goes numb) Uhh...nice to meet you. (hand gets huge. SpongeBob smells some aroma and goes to check and see that Patrick and Sandy are having a picnic with krabby patties)
Sandy: Here, Patrick, have a Krabby Patty! (whispers into Patricks ear) There he is, Patrick. Say your line!
Patrick: (reading off paper)Why thank you, Sandy, I would love one. Take patty. Too bad SpongeBob isn’t here. These are his favorites. I sure wish he’d come home. Take bite. (tries to but throws the patty away and turns to SpongeBob) I can’t do it! SpongeBob! Come back!
SpongeBob: Patrick, I’m not coming home.
Patrick: I miss you. Sandy misses you. Even Squidward misses you! (Squidward is throwing himself a party at home)
SpongeBob: I’m happy here. This is my home now. (Sandy drags Patrick away)
Patrick: No!! SpongeBob!! (later, SpongeBob comes in wiggling his arms and legs like the jellyfish)
SpongeBob: Hey everybody! I’m back! I think I’m getting the hang of this. (jellyfish float away as the net is swung at SpongeBob, which knocks him down. Patrick is ready to capture SpongeBob with Ol' Reliable) Patrick! What are you doing?
Patrick: If I can’t have you as a friend, I’m going to make you a trophy! I even picked out this nice jar for you! (shows a jar with a label on the front that says 'SPONGEBOB - FRIEND')
SpongeBob: Patrick! Go home! I’m a jellyfish now! (Patrick swings the net at SpongeBob but SpongeBob runs away. Patrick goes after him. SpongeBob hides behind a snail's shell but the snail slithers off. SpongeBob goes to hide behind a rock)
Patrick: I can see you there! (SpongeBob hides behind a bush) I still see you! (SpongeBob hides behind another rock) You’re going to look good on my mantel! (SpongeBob runs under neath an 'n' shaped rock and peeks around. Patrick is underneath the rock on the top) Friends forever, SpongeBob! I got you now, SpongeBob! (falls on the ground and misses SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Patrick! No! (Patrick runs after SpongeBob again as SpongeBob jumps into the jellyfish hive. Patrick tries to get the hive down with the net but is unsuccessful multiple times)
Patrick: Ok! So this is the way it’s going to be. I hope you’re happy. (breaks net in half)
SpongeBob: Well, that’s over. Back to jellyfish matters. (a drop of jelly lands on SpongeBob nose. He samples it) Mmm...jelly. (eats a lot of jelly as the jellyfish come back toward the hive) Ah, my jellyfish brethren are returning. (jellyfish buzz into the hive) Greetings, comrades! (jellyfish sting SpongeBob a lot and he screams. SpongeBob climbs out of the hive and runs as the jellyfish keep stinging him. Later, SpongeBob is in a cave) Being a jellyfish sure is fun. Buzz. (rips off a bushel of grass) Buzz. (pushes rock over as he uses it for his pillow) Buzz. (pushes the rock aside and gets cold. The 'blanket' scrunches up but SpongeBob pushes it back down. Blanket scrunches up again and SpongeBob gets cold.) Hey! Eww, I’m itchy! Itchy, why am I so itchy! (takes off the blanket and reveals 9 poison sea urchins) Poison sea urchins! (screams and scratches the urchins off of him and runs out of the cave) Ow, ow, oh, itches. Ow, ow, itches. (crawls on the ground to stop the itching. Later, SpongeBob is walking towards his house) Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. (buzzes 14 more times as he walks up to the Krusty Krab door and sees a plate full of krabby patties on a table) Krabby Patties. (walks past Sandy's treedome) Sandy. (still buzzing, walks up to his pineapple) What have I done? I had a great life and friends, and I gave all of that up. (opens door and turns the light on. Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Squidward, Patrick, and Gary are there to welcome him home)
All: Welcome home, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: You guys are the best! I made a huge mistake. Please forgive me!
Mr. Krabs: Ah, quit your blubbering and have a Krabby Patty. (hands him a krabby patty)
SpongeBob: Don’t mind if I do. (eats it as Mr. Krabs places his krusty krew hat on his head)
Mr. Krabs: And I’ll see you at work first thing tomorrow morning.
SpongeBob: (salutes) Aye, aye, captain!
Squidward: SpongeBob, do us all a favor. (hands SpongeBob his pants)
SpongeBob: Don’t mind if I do. (puts on his pants) Ta-da! (hugs Squidward) Aww...
Squidward: Ok, that’s enough. (everyone else hugs SpongeBob and Squidward)
Squidward: Can we please stop this? (everyone stops hugging)
Patrick: Patrick itchy! (everyone but SpongeBob starts to scratch themselves and crawl on the floor)
SpongeBob: It is great to be home!