Episode Transcript: I'm Your Biggest Fanatic

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
 
*Guard
 
*Guard
 
*[[Kevin the Sea Cucumber]]
 
*[[Kevin the Sea Cucumber]]
Line 19: Line 19:
 
*[[Big Lenny]] (in a picture)
 
*[[Big Lenny]] (in a picture)
 
*[[Dr. Manowar]]
 
*[[Dr. Manowar]]
 +
*[[Jeffrey Jellyfish]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
 +
(SpongeBob and Patrick are at the Jellyfish Convention, where everything is about jellyfish. SpongeBob is wearing a jellyfish hat, Patrick is wearing a net on his head)
  
(SpongeBob and Patrick are at the Jellyfish Convention, where everything is about jellyfish. Sponge is wearing a jellyfish hat, Pat is wearing a net on his head)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow! I can't believe it! We're actually here at the biannual Jellyfish Convention!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow! I can't believe it! We're actually here at the biannual Jellyfish Convention!<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Jellyfish are awesome!
  
'''Patrick:''' Jellyfish are awesome!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Cool! State-of-the-art jellyfish nets! (Patrick touches one)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Cool! State-of-the-art jellyfish nets! (Pat touches one)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Touch.
  
'''Patrick:''' Touch.<br>
+
'''Guard:''' Don't touch. (they walk up to a giant harpoon with gobs of jelly on it)
  
'''Guard:''' Don't touch. (they walk up to a giant harpoon with gobs of jelly on it)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow! The harpoon from ''Jellyfish: The Movie''! (Patrick touches it)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow! The harpoon from "Jellyfish: The Movie"! (Pat touches it)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Touch.
  
'''Patrick:''' Touch.<br>
+
'''Guard:''' Don't touch. (they walk up to a crowd, watching a fish with a giant sore on his cheek pointing to a board with a mean jellyfish picture on it)
  
'''Guard:''' Don't touch. (they walk up to a crowd, watching a fish with a giant sore on his cheek pointing to a board with a mean
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Look! Dr. Manowar! They guy who got stung by Big Lenny and lived!
jellyfish picture on it)<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Look! Dr. Manowar! They guy who got stung by Big Lenny and lived!<br>
+
'''Dr. Manowar:''' And now it only hurts when you touch it. (Patrick goes up and touches the bump on his head. Screams in pain)
  
'''Dr. Manowar:''' And now it only hurts when you touch it. (Pat goes up and touches it. screams in pain OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Touch.
  
'''Patrick:''' Touch.<br>
+
'''Guard:''' Do I have to follow you all day?
  
'''Guard:''' Do I have to follow you all day?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Patrick, look! Can it be?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Patrick, look! Can it be?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Ice cream?
 
+
'''Patrick:''' Ice cream?<br>
+
  
 
'''SpongeBob:''' No, it's the Jellyspotters! (we see a crowd of people around a group of fish and a sea cucumber, obviously the  
 
'''SpongeBob:''' No, it's the Jellyspotters! (we see a crowd of people around a group of fish and a sea cucumber, obviously the  
 
leader. He has glasses and a crown thing coming from his head) Bikini Bottom's premier jellyfish enthusiast club! Aah! And  
 
leader. He has glasses and a crown thing coming from his head) Bikini Bottom's premier jellyfish enthusiast club! Aah! And  
their leader! The coolest jellyfish enthusiast ever? (close up on the cucumber) Kevin the Sea Cucumber!<br>
+
their leader! The coolest jellyfish enthusiast ever... (close up on the cucumber) Kevin the Sea Cucumber!
  
'''Patrick:''' What's so great about a nerdy pickle?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' What's so great about a nerdy pickle?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' If I could just touch the hem of his pocket protector, then maybe some of his greatness would rub off on me.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' If I could just touch the hem of his pocket protector, then maybe some of his greatness would rub off on me.
  
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, as a friend, I must say that's really geeky. (a guy in a giant jellyfish costume walks by. Pat gasps) Oh  
+
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, as a friend, I must say that's really geeky. (a guy in a giant jellyfish costume walks by. Patrick gasps) Oh my gosh! [[Jeffrey Jellyfish]]! Wait, Jeffrey! I have to touch you! (runs after him, followed by the guard. Cut back to the Jellyspotters)
my gosh! Jeffrey Jellyfish! Wait, Jeffrey! I have to touch you! (runs after him, followed by the guard yelling. Cut back to  
+
the Jellyspotters)<br>
+
  
'''Kevin:''' Bamboo? I only use composite materials in my net handle. (the crowd furiously writes notes)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Bamboo? I only use composite materials in my net handle. (the crowd furiously writes notes)
  
'''Crowd:''' (all muttering as they write) Composite materials?<br>
+
'''Crowd:''' (all muttering as they write) Composite materials?
  
'''Kevin:''' Next question. (the crowd furiously writes notes again)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Next question. (the crowd furiously writes notes again)
  
'''Crowd:''' (all muttering again) Next question?<br>
+
'''Crowd:''' (all muttering again) Next question?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (pops out in front of the crowd, his pupils are huge and he speaks as if in a trance) Hi Kevin.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (pops out in front of the crowd, his pupils are huge and he speaks as if in a trance) Hi Kevin.
  
'''Kevin:''' Hi. What is your question?<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Hi. What is your question?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin.
  
'''Kevin:''' Whatever. Next question, please. (he points to the other side of the crowd, Sponge pops up there too)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Whatever. Next question, please. (points to the other side of the crowd. SpongeBob pops up there too)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin.
  
'''Kevin:''' Hello loser. All right, you, waaaay in the back. <br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Hello loser. All right, you, waaaay in the back.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (pops up in the back) Hi Kevin.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (pops up in the back) Hi Kevin.
  
'''Kevin:''' Does anyone here have an actual? (we hear Sponge heavily breathing from the left. Kevin and the rest turn to see him)
+
'''Kevin:''' Does anyone here have an actual? (we hear SpongeBob heavily breathing from the left. Kevin and the rest turn to see him)
<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin. I'm your biggest fan.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi Kevin. I'm your biggest fan.
  
'''Kevin:''' You're too kind. (yells) Security!<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' You're too kind. Security!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' No, wait! I would do anything for you!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No, wait! I would do anything for you!
  
'''Kevin:''' Why don't you go jump off a building? (we hear Sponge's screams and see him fall from the view through the window.  
+
'''Kevin:''' Why don't you go jump off a building? (we hear SpongeBob's screams and see him fall from the view through the window. Then SpongeBob appears back in the building)
Then Sponge appears back in the building)<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Anything?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Anything?
  
'''Kevin:''' Punch yourself in the face. (Sponge does so with a boxing glove. His face is pushed in a bit.) Doesn't that hurt you?  
+
'''Kevin:''' Punch yourself in the face. (SpongeBob does so with a boxing glove. His face is pushed in a bit) Doesn't that hurt you?
<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up a metal glove with spiked knuckles) Do you? want it to hurt me, Kevin? (the Jellyspotters all laugh)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (holds up a metal glove with spiked knuckles) Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin? (the Jellyspotters all laugh)
  
'''Kevin:''' That was the best! This guy's great! We have got to bring this guy jellyfishing with us!<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' That was the best! This guy's great! We have got to bring this guy jellyfishing with us!
  
'''Fish:''' No, Kevin, no. He's a geek.<br>
+
'''Fish:''' No, Kevin, no. He's a geek.
  
 
'''Kevin:''' (whispering) Look, I won't let the guy join the club. I just want to see how many times he can get stung before he  
 
'''Kevin:''' (whispering) Look, I won't let the guy join the club. I just want to see how many times he can get stung before he  
goes running home like a baby.<br>
+
goes running home like a baby.
  
'''Fish:''' Meep-meep, Kevin's a genius. (the other fish join in repeatedly saying so)<br>
+
'''Fish:''' Meep-meep, Kevin's a genius. (the other fish join in repeatedly saying so)
  
'''Kevin:''' Hey kid, how would you like to try out for the Jellyspotters? <br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Hey kid, how would you like to try out for the Jellyspotters?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (on a hospital bed. The doctor fish zaps him with the defibrillator and Sponge jumps up) I'd love it! (cut to  
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (on a hospital bed. The doctor fish zaps him with the defibrillator and SpongeBob jumps up) I'd love it! (bubble-wipe to Kevin and the fish supposedly walking through Jellyfish Fields (we can't see their legs)
Kevin and the fish supposedly walking through Jellyfish Fields (we can't see their legs)<br>
+
  
'''Kevin:''' Ah? nothing like driving through Jellyfish Fields with the top down, eh, Jellyspotters? (the fish meep in agreement.  
+
'''Kevin:''' Ah, nothing like driving through Jellyfish Fields with the top down, eh, Jellyspotters? (the fish meep in agreement. Pan down to see that SpongeBob is carrying them. He stops)
Pan down to see that Sponge is carrying them. He stops)
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, here we are, Jellyfish Fields. (he collapses. The Jellyspotters get off)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, here we are, Jellyfish Fields. (collapses. The Jellyspotters get off)
  
'''Kevin:''' I hope you didn't forget our nets.<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' I hope you didn't forget our nets.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I didn't forget them, Kevin. They're in the trunk. (Sponge turns around, and the back of his pants opens like a  
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I didn't forget them, Kevin. They're in the trunk. (turns around, and the back of his pants opens like a trunk. The group takes the nets and jars out, revealing SpongeBob's buttocks. SpongeBob now has all the nets and jars in his arms) I can't believe I'm actually out here with the Jellyspotters! I mean all my life I wanted to be a Jellyspotter? (starts to vibrate and jump around) and now I'm out here with you guys with the nets and the jars and the jellyfish and I'm with Kevin and Kevin's with me and we're all with each other and we're all jellyfishing and it's fun and...
trunk. The group takes the nets and jars out, revealing Sponge's behind. Sponge now has all the nets and jars in his arms) I  
+
can't believe I'm actually out here with the Jellyspotters! I mean all my life I wanted to be a Jellyspotter? (Sponge starts  
+
to vibrate and jump around) and now I'm out here with you guys with the nets and the jars and the jellyfish and I'm with  
+
Kevin and Kevin's with me and we're all with each other and we're all jellyfishing and it's fun and?<br>
+
  
'''Kevin:''' Hold it! (Sponge freezes, literally) Before you become a Jellyspotter, you have to pass a rigorous test. (the fish  
+
'''Kevin:''' Hold it! (SpongeBob freezes, literally) Before you become a Jellyspotter, you have to pass a rigorous test. (the fish repeat "meep, rigorous test") Quiet, shh! Your first test: catch a jellyfish. (a jellyfish flies into SpongeBob's net)
repeat "meep, rigorous test") Quiet, shh! Your first test: catch a jellyfish. (a jellyfish flies into Sponge's net)<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, I caught one! Am I a Jellyspotter now?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, I caught one! Am I a Jellyspotter now?
  
'''Fish:''' One jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep-meep?etc?<br>
+
'''Fish:''' One jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep-meep.
  
'''Kevin:''' Uh, that doesn't count. (he slaps the net and the jellyfish stings him, it flies away. Kevin grows a giant red sore  
+
'''Kevin:''' Uh, that doesn't count. (slaps the net and the jellyfish stings him; it flies away. Kevin grows a giant red sore  
where he got stung)<br>
+
where he got stung)
  
'''Fish:''' (off-screen in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!<br>
+
'''Fish:''' (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!
  
'''Kevin:''' I meant two jellyfish! (two jellyfish fly in Sponge's net)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' I meant two jellyfish! (two jellyfish fly in SpongeBob's net)
  
'''Fish:''' Two jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep?etc?<br>
+
'''Fish:''' Two jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep.
  
'''Kevin:''' That's not what I meant. I meant 20 jellyfish! (a whole load of jellyfish fly into Sponge's net)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' That's not what I meant. I meant 20 jellyfish! (a whole load of jellyfish fly into SpongeBob's net)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (counting) Let's see, one, two, three? (Kevin kicks the net, causing all the jellyfish to sting him. He now has a  
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (counting) Let's see, one, two, three? (Kevin kicks the net, causing all the jellyfish to sting him. He now has a bunch of sores)
bunch of sores)<br>
+
  
'''Fish:''' (off-screen in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha! (cut to the fields, where Kevin has a jar of jelly)<br>
+
'''Fish:''' (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha! (bubble-wipe to the fields, where Kevin has a jar of jelly)
  
'''Kevin:''' Jellyspotters allow jellyfish to eat jelly off their face. (Kevin smears some jelly on Sponge)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Jellyspotters allow jellyfish to eat jelly off their face. (smears some jelly on SpongeBob)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Who wants to lick my cheeks? (some jellyfish swim by) I see I have some takers?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Who wants to lick my cheeks? (some jellyfish swim by) I see I have some takers.
  
'''Kevin:''' How does it feel? (Sponge now has jellyfish on his face, put together in the form of a mustache and beard. He laughs)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' How does it feel? (SpongeBob now has jellyfish on his face, put together in the form of a mustache and beard. He laughs)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' It tickles my nose!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' It tickles my nose!
  
'''Kevin:''' Not for long. (he and the Jellyspotters snicker. Sponge sneezes and all of the jellyfish fly onto Kevin's eyes. They  
+
'''Kevin:''' Not for long. (he and the Jellyspotters snicker. SpongeBob sneezes and all of the jellyfish fly onto Kevin's eyes. They sting them and now he has big red swollen eyes)
sting them and now he has big red swollen eyes)<br>
+
  
'''Fish:''' (off-screen in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!<br>
+
'''Fish:''' (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!
  
'''Kevin:''' (turns to the fish making that taunting noise) Will you cut that out?<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' (turns to the fish making that taunting noise) Will you cut that out?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now?
  
'''Kevin:''' No! I have many more tests for you to take! (cut to Sponge walking upside-down, with a net and a jellyfish)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' No! I have many more tests for you to take! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking upside-down, with a net and a jellyfish)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's nose, making it big and swollen)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's nose, making it big and swollen)
  
'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to Sponge having caught a jellyfish blindfolded)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' No. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob having caught a jellyfish blindfolded)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's crown and it becomes swollen)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's crown and it becomes swollen)
  
'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to just Sponge)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to just SpongeBob)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (we hear zapping sounds. Now Kevin's ears are big and swollen)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (we hear zapping sounds. Now Kevin's ears are big and swollen)
  
'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to just Sponge again)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to just SpongeBob again)
  
 
'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (more zapping noises. Kevin's lips are now huge and swollen)<br>
 
'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (more zapping noises. Kevin's lips are now huge and swollen)<br>
  
'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to Sponge once more)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' No. (cut to SpongeBob once more)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (ZAP. Kevin's behind is now huge and swollen)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (zapping noises are heard. Kevin's behind is now huge and swollen)
  
'''Kevin:''' (yelling) NO!<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' NO!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (ZAP) Now? (ZAP) Now? (now, Kevin is just a big swollen sea cucumber thing)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Now? (zapping noises are heard) Now? (more zapping noises are heard) Now? (more zapping noises are heard. Now, Kevin is just a big swollen sea cucumber thing)
  
'''Kevin:''' All right, Squarepants, it is your turn to get zapped! I mean, are you ready for your final test?<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' All right, SquarePants, it is your turn to get zapped! I mean, are you ready for your final test?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I'm ready!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I'm ready!
  
'''Kevin:''' You'd better be, because we're going to catch a queen jellyfish.<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' You'd better be, because we're going to catch a queen jellyfish.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' A queen? Ooh, can I help?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' A queen? Ooh, can I help?
  
'''Kevin:''' Oh, don't worry. We can't do it without you! (cut to Sponge being tied by arms and legs, hanging from two sticks)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Oh, don't worry. We can't do it without you! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob being tied by arms and legs, hanging from two sticks)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' This is fantastic! I've never been bait before! I don't think I've ever seen a queen jellyfish either.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' This is fantastic! I've never been bait before! I don't think I've ever seen a queen jellyfish either.
  
'''Kevin:''' Well, then you've probably never used a queen jellyfish call. Why don't you try it out? (he hands him a blower thing.  
+
'''Kevin:''' Well, then you've probably never used a queen jellyfish call. Why don't you try it out? (hands him a blower thing. SpongeBob blows and it makes a weird groaning sound that sort of sounds like "Loser")
Sponge blows and it makes a weird groaning sound that sort of sounds like, "Loser.")<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, I've heard this call before.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, I've heard this call before.
  
'''Kevin:''' I'll bet you have. (the Jellyspotters walk off)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' I'll bet you have. (the Jellyspotters walk off)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, where are you going?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, where are you going?
  
'''Kevin:''' Oh, don't worry, we'll be right behind this bush. (they kneel down behind it. Kevin gets zapped again. He stands up covered in sores, a jellyfish flies off) Who's got my sting ointment? (he kneels down again)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Oh, don't worry, we'll be right behind this bush. (they kneel down behind it. Gets zapped again. Stands up covered in sores while a jellyfish flies off) Who's got my sting ointment? (kneels down again)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' This is great! When I pass this test, I'll be an official jellyfish spotter! (he continues to blow that horn  
+
'''SpongeBob:''' This is great! When I pass this test, I'll be an official jellyfish spotter! (continues to blow that horn  
thing, which keeps saying, "Loser." Soon, it becomes dark and he's tired of blowing) Hey Kevin, I don't think it's working.  
+
thing, which keeps saying "Loser." Soon, it becomes dark and he's tired of blowing) Hey Kevin, I don't think it's working.  
Nothing? (a giant shadow looms over Sponge. He looks up, to find a giant jellyfish with a tiara. It's The Mechanic
+
Nothing? (a giant shadow looms over SpongeBob. Looks up to find a giant jellyfish with a tiara. It's the mechanic
[[Jellyfish Queen]]!) Hey, hey Kevin! She's here! Look, she's here! She's here, Kevin! She's here? (the bush blows away,  
+
[[Jellyfish Queen]]) Hey, hey Kevin! She's here! Look, she's here! She's here, Kevin! She's here? (the bush blows away, revealing nothing except Kevin's ointment. Screams and the jellyfish zaps the poles off. Runs up and down hills, dodging the jellyfish's stingers. Comes upon a cliff and can't go any further. Begs on his hands and knees) Please don't be angry, your highness! I would have let you go! (cries. Just then, a screen on the jellyfish opens, revealing Kevin and the Jellyspotters. They laugh. SpongeBob gasps) Kevin!
revealing nothing? except Kevin's ointment. Sponge screams and the jellyfish zaps the poles off. Sponge runs up and down  
+
hills, dodging the jellyfish's stingers. He comes upon a cliff and can't go any further. He begs on his hands and knees)  
+
Please don't be angry, your highness! I would have let you go! (he cries. Just then, a screen on the jellyfish opens,  
+
revealing Kevin and the Jellyspotters. They laugh. Sponge gasps) Kevin!<br>
+
  
'''Kevin:''' That's right! You should have seen the look on your face when we zapped you!<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' That's right! You should have seen the look on your face when we zapped you!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' But? what about my final test? (they all laugh)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' But, what about my final test? (they all laugh)
  
'''Kevin:''' Did you think we'd actually let you into the Jellyspotters?<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Did you think we'd actually let you into the Jellyspotters?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!
  
'''Kevin:''' So were they. (he points to the bottom of the cliff, where a bunch of people are by a fire. One looks up)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' So were they. (points to the bottom of the cliff, where a bunch of people are by a fire. One looks up)
  
'''Guy:''' Look everybody, Kevin's back! (they all yell up at him in praise)<br>
+
'''Guy:''' Look everybody, Kevin's back! (they all yell up at him in praise)
  
'''Kevin:''' You looked so dumb with your dorky jellyfish call! (imitating) Loser, loser, loser loser loser!<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' You looked so dumb with your dorky jellyfish call! (imitating) Loser, loser, loser loser loser!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I am not a loser!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I am not a loser!
  
'''Kevin:''' Loooooser! (as Kevin continues, a giant, even bigger than the queen, jellyfish comes from the cliff. It is wearing a  
+
'''Kevin:''' Loooooser! (as Kevin continues, a giant, even bigger than the queen, jellyfish comes from the cliff. It is wearing a robe and a crown. The Jellyspotters finally notice) Nideria Rex!
robe and a crown. The Jellyspotters finally notice) Nideria Rex!<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' King Jellyfish! (the king sees the queen and is instantly smitten. It grows lips and puckers up)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' King Jellyfish! (the king sees the queen and is instantly smitten. He grows lips and puckers up)
  
'''Kevin:''' Kissyface! (the queen and Sponge run off. The king gives chase. The queen eventually crashes into a billboard for  
+
'''Kevin:''' Kissyface! (the queen flies off and SpongeBob runs. The king gives chase. The queen eventually crashes into a billboard for Kevin's Ointment and breaks apart. The king sees Kevin, the Jellyspotters, and SpongeBob)
Kevin's Ointment and breaks apart. The king sees Kevin, the Jellyspotters, and Sponge)<br>
+
  
'''Jellyfish King:''' (angrily) Keeeee-viiiiin! (it zaps the ground and they all run off. They find refuge in a cave. The king
+
'''King Jellyfish:''' (angrily) Keeeee-viiiiin! (zaps the ground and they all run off. They find refuge in a cave. Comes back with a helmet and American Football uniform and attempts to bash in the cave. Inside, the Jellyspotters and SpongeBob are pretty scared. The bashing stops)
jellyfish comes back with a helmet and football uniform and attempts to bash in the cave. Inside, the Jellyspotters and  
+
Sponge are pretty scared. The bashing stops)<br>
+
  
 
'''Kevin:''' I think he's gone. One of you go out and check. (the Jellyspotters push one fish out of the cave to see. The fish  
 
'''Kevin:''' I think he's gone. One of you go out and check. (the Jellyspotters push one fish out of the cave to see. The fish  
looks around and "meep-meep"s happily, giving the all-clear. But he's zapped and "meep-meep"s not to come out. All the fish  
+
looks around and "meep-meep"s happily, giving the all-clear. Soon, however, he's zapped and "meep-meep"s not to come out. All the fish go around Kevin asking what to do) Don't look at me! I was only in this for the fashion! (close up on Kevin's pants, with patches, stickers and a toy jellyfish coming out of his pocket) It's hopeless! We're trapped! We're trapped! (sits down and curls to a ball) Help me mommy, help me! I want my blankie! I want my blankie!
go around Kevin asking what to do) Don't look at me! I was only in this for the fashion! (close up on Kevin's pants, with  
+
patches, stickers and a toy jellyfish coming out of his pocket) It's hopeless! We're trapped! We're trapped! (he sits down  
+
and curls to a ball) Help me mommy, help me! I want my blankie! I want my blankie!<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (to fishes) Now what do we do? (the fish get down and imitate Kevin. Sponge decides enough is enough and goes out  
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (to fishes) Now what do we do? (the fish get down and imitate Kevin. Goes out to face the king. The king growls and buzzes. Takes out some bubbles)
to face the king. The king growls and buzzes. Sponge takes out some bubbles and blows out one in the shape of a giant cherry
+
pie. The king, satisfied, leaves to eat his snack. The fishes come out and gather around Sponge. Kevin follows)<br>
+
  
'''Kevin:''' I can't believe it! How did you know?<br>
+
'''King Jellyfish:''' What the...? (SpongeBob blows out one in the shape of a giant cherry pie) Mmmmmm. Yummy! (The king, satisfied, leaves to eat his snack. The fishes come out and gather around SpongeBob. Kevin follows)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Everybody loves pie!<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' I can't believe it! How did you know?
  
'''Fish:''' (ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Everybody loves pie!
  
'''Kevin:''' Well, SquarePants, that was impressive, but you're still not in the club because you didn't catch a queen jellyfish.
+
'''Fish:''' (ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!
(the other Jellyspotters narrow their eyes and run over to Kevin, off-screen) Wait, what are you doing? (rip) AAAH! (the fish
+
run back with Kevin's crown and place it on SpongeBob. He laughed)<br>
+
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, I didn't know this was a hat! (Kevin stands in agony, both for emotional and physical reasons)<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' Well, SquarePants, that was impressive, but you're still not in the club because you didn't catch a queen jellyfish. (the other Jellyspotters narrow their eyes and run over to Kevin, off-screen) Wait, what are you doing? (a ripping soun is heard and Kevin screams. The fish run back with Kevin's crown and place it on SpongeBob. He laughs)
  
'''Kevin:''' (teary-eyed) It? wasn't? (cut to back at the convention. Sponge talks to Patrick)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, I didn't know this was a hat! (Kevin stands in agony, both for emotional and physical reasons)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi, Patrick!<br>
+
'''Kevin:''' (teary-eyed) It wasn't... (cross-fade to back at the convention. SpongeBob talks to Patrick)
  
'''Patrick:''' Hi, SpongeBob! Did you get into that club?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi, Patrick!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, but I turned them down. It's not about Kevin, it's about jellyfish!<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Hi, SpongeBob! Did you get into that club?
  
'''Patrick:''' Well, SpongeBob, I'm glad you learned your lesson. (pan out to see that Pat has Jeffrey Jellyfish tied up in a wagon he's towing) Hero worship is unhealthy. (the two walk off) C'mon, Jeffrey.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, but I turned them down. It's not about Kevin, it's about jellyfish!
  
 +
'''Patrick:''' Well, SpongeBob, I'm glad you learned your lesson. (zoom out to see that Patrick has Jeffrey Jellyfish tied up in a wagon he's towing) Hero worship is unhealthy. (the two walk off) C'mon, Jeffrey.
 +
 +
{{Timeline}}
 
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
 
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Latest revision as of 02:29, 28 November 2022

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No Free Rides Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III

Episode Article: I'm Your Biggest Fanatic

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(SpongeBob and Patrick are at the Jellyfish Convention, where everything is about jellyfish. SpongeBob is wearing a jellyfish hat, Patrick is wearing a net on his head)

SpongeBob: Wow! I can't believe it! We're actually here at the biannual Jellyfish Convention!

Patrick: Jellyfish are awesome!

SpongeBob: Cool! State-of-the-art jellyfish nets! (Patrick touches one)

Patrick: Touch.

Guard: Don't touch. (they walk up to a giant harpoon with gobs of jelly on it)

SpongeBob: Wow! The harpoon from Jellyfish: The Movie! (Patrick touches it)

Patrick: Touch.

Guard: Don't touch. (they walk up to a crowd, watching a fish with a giant sore on his cheek pointing to a board with a mean jellyfish picture on it)

SpongeBob: Look! Dr. Manowar! They guy who got stung by Big Lenny and lived!

Dr. Manowar: And now it only hurts when you touch it. (Patrick goes up and touches the bump on his head. Screams in pain)

Patrick: Touch.

Guard: Do I have to follow you all day?

SpongeBob: (gasps) Patrick, look! Can it be?

Patrick: Ice cream?

SpongeBob: No, it's the Jellyspotters! (we see a crowd of people around a group of fish and a sea cucumber, obviously the leader. He has glasses and a crown thing coming from his head) Bikini Bottom's premier jellyfish enthusiast club! Aah! And their leader! The coolest jellyfish enthusiast ever... (close up on the cucumber) Kevin the Sea Cucumber!

Patrick: What's so great about a nerdy pickle?

SpongeBob: If I could just touch the hem of his pocket protector, then maybe some of his greatness would rub off on me.

Patrick: SpongeBob, as a friend, I must say that's really geeky. (a guy in a giant jellyfish costume walks by. Patrick gasps) Oh my gosh! Jeffrey Jellyfish! Wait, Jeffrey! I have to touch you! (runs after him, followed by the guard. Cut back to the Jellyspotters)

Kevin: Bamboo? I only use composite materials in my net handle. (the crowd furiously writes notes)

Crowd: (all muttering as they write) Composite materials?

Kevin: Next question. (the crowd furiously writes notes again)

Crowd: (all muttering again) Next question?

SpongeBob: (pops out in front of the crowd, his pupils are huge and he speaks as if in a trance) Hi Kevin.

Kevin: Hi. What is your question?

SpongeBob: Hi Kevin.

Kevin: Whatever. Next question, please. (points to the other side of the crowd. SpongeBob pops up there too)

SpongeBob: Hi Kevin.

Kevin: Hello loser. All right, you, waaaay in the back.

SpongeBob: (pops up in the back) Hi Kevin.

Kevin: Does anyone here have an actual? (we hear SpongeBob heavily breathing from the left. Kevin and the rest turn to see him)

SpongeBob: Hi Kevin. I'm your biggest fan.

Kevin: You're too kind. Security!

SpongeBob: No, wait! I would do anything for you!

Kevin: Why don't you go jump off a building? (we hear SpongeBob's screams and see him fall from the view through the window. Then SpongeBob appears back in the building)

SpongeBob: Anything?

Kevin: Punch yourself in the face. (SpongeBob does so with a boxing glove. His face is pushed in a bit) Doesn't that hurt you?

SpongeBob: (holds up a metal glove with spiked knuckles) Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin? (the Jellyspotters all laugh)

Kevin: That was the best! This guy's great! We have got to bring this guy jellyfishing with us!

Fish: No, Kevin, no. He's a geek.

Kevin: (whispering) Look, I won't let the guy join the club. I just want to see how many times he can get stung before he goes running home like a baby.

Fish: Meep-meep, Kevin's a genius. (the other fish join in repeatedly saying so)

Kevin: Hey kid, how would you like to try out for the Jellyspotters?

SpongeBob: (on a hospital bed. The doctor fish zaps him with the defibrillator and SpongeBob jumps up) I'd love it! (bubble-wipe to Kevin and the fish supposedly walking through Jellyfish Fields (we can't see their legs)

Kevin: Ah, nothing like driving through Jellyfish Fields with the top down, eh, Jellyspotters? (the fish meep in agreement. Pan down to see that SpongeBob is carrying them. He stops)

SpongeBob: Okay, here we are, Jellyfish Fields. (collapses. The Jellyspotters get off)

Kevin: I hope you didn't forget our nets.

SpongeBob: I didn't forget them, Kevin. They're in the trunk. (turns around, and the back of his pants opens like a trunk. The group takes the nets and jars out, revealing SpongeBob's buttocks. SpongeBob now has all the nets and jars in his arms) I can't believe I'm actually out here with the Jellyspotters! I mean all my life I wanted to be a Jellyspotter? (starts to vibrate and jump around) and now I'm out here with you guys with the nets and the jars and the jellyfish and I'm with Kevin and Kevin's with me and we're all with each other and we're all jellyfishing and it's fun and...

Kevin: Hold it! (SpongeBob freezes, literally) Before you become a Jellyspotter, you have to pass a rigorous test. (the fish repeat "meep, rigorous test") Quiet, shh! Your first test: catch a jellyfish. (a jellyfish flies into SpongeBob's net)

SpongeBob: Hey, I caught one! Am I a Jellyspotter now?

Fish: One jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep-meep.

Kevin: Uh, that doesn't count. (slaps the net and the jellyfish stings him; it flies away. Kevin grows a giant red sore where he got stung)

Fish: (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!

Kevin: I meant two jellyfish! (two jellyfish fly in SpongeBob's net)

Fish: Two jellyfish, meep, in the net, meep.

Kevin: That's not what I meant. I meant 20 jellyfish! (a whole load of jellyfish fly into SpongeBob's net)

SpongeBob: (counting) Let's see, one, two, three? (Kevin kicks the net, causing all the jellyfish to sting him. He now has a bunch of sores)

Fish: (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha! (bubble-wipe to the fields, where Kevin has a jar of jelly)

Kevin: Jellyspotters allow jellyfish to eat jelly off their face. (smears some jelly on SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Who wants to lick my cheeks? (some jellyfish swim by) I see I have some takers.

Kevin: How does it feel? (SpongeBob now has jellyfish on his face, put together in the form of a mustache and beard. He laughs)

SpongeBob: It tickles my nose!

Kevin: Not for long. (he and the Jellyspotters snicker. SpongeBob sneezes and all of the jellyfish fly onto Kevin's eyes. They sting them and now he has big red swollen eyes)

Fish: (in ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!

Kevin: (turns to the fish making that taunting noise) Will you cut that out?

SpongeBob: Am I in the Jellyspotters now?

Kevin: No! I have many more tests for you to take! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking upside-down, with a net and a jellyfish)

SpongeBob: Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's nose, making it big and swollen)

Kevin: No. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob having caught a jellyfish blindfolded)

SpongeBob: Am I in the Jellyspotters now? (the jellyfish stings Kevin's crown and it becomes swollen)

Kevin: No. (cut to just SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Now? (we hear zapping sounds. Now Kevin's ears are big and swollen)

Kevin: No. (cut to just SpongeBob again)

SpongeBob: Now? (more zapping noises. Kevin's lips are now huge and swollen)

Kevin: No. (cut to SpongeBob once more)

SpongeBob: Now? (zapping noises are heard. Kevin's behind is now huge and swollen)

Kevin: NO!

SpongeBob: Now? (zapping noises are heard) Now? (more zapping noises are heard) Now? (more zapping noises are heard. Now, Kevin is just a big swollen sea cucumber thing)

Kevin: All right, SquarePants, it is your turn to get zapped! I mean, are you ready for your final test?

SpongeBob: I'm ready!

Kevin: You'd better be, because we're going to catch a queen jellyfish.

SpongeBob: A queen? Ooh, can I help?

Kevin: Oh, don't worry. We can't do it without you! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob being tied by arms and legs, hanging from two sticks)

SpongeBob: This is fantastic! I've never been bait before! I don't think I've ever seen a queen jellyfish either.

Kevin: Well, then you've probably never used a queen jellyfish call. Why don't you try it out? (hands him a blower thing. SpongeBob blows and it makes a weird groaning sound that sort of sounds like "Loser")

SpongeBob: Hey, I've heard this call before.

Kevin: I'll bet you have. (the Jellyspotters walk off)

SpongeBob: Hey, where are you going?

Kevin: Oh, don't worry, we'll be right behind this bush. (they kneel down behind it. Gets zapped again. Stands up covered in sores while a jellyfish flies off) Who's got my sting ointment? (kneels down again)

SpongeBob: This is great! When I pass this test, I'll be an official jellyfish spotter! (continues to blow that horn thing, which keeps saying "Loser." Soon, it becomes dark and he's tired of blowing) Hey Kevin, I don't think it's working. Nothing? (a giant shadow looms over SpongeBob. Looks up to find a giant jellyfish with a tiara. It's the mechanic Jellyfish Queen) Hey, hey Kevin! She's here! Look, she's here! She's here, Kevin! She's here? (the bush blows away, revealing nothing except Kevin's ointment. Screams and the jellyfish zaps the poles off. Runs up and down hills, dodging the jellyfish's stingers. Comes upon a cliff and can't go any further. Begs on his hands and knees) Please don't be angry, your highness! I would have let you go! (cries. Just then, a screen on the jellyfish opens, revealing Kevin and the Jellyspotters. They laugh. SpongeBob gasps) Kevin!

Kevin: That's right! You should have seen the look on your face when we zapped you!

SpongeBob: But, what about my final test? (they all laugh)

Kevin: Did you think we'd actually let you into the Jellyspotters?

SpongeBob: But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!

Kevin: So were they. (points to the bottom of the cliff, where a bunch of people are by a fire. One looks up)

Guy: Look everybody, Kevin's back! (they all yell up at him in praise)

Kevin: You looked so dumb with your dorky jellyfish call! (imitating) Loser, loser, loser loser loser!

SpongeBob: I am not a loser!

Kevin: Loooooser! (as Kevin continues, a giant, even bigger than the queen, jellyfish comes from the cliff. It is wearing a robe and a crown. The Jellyspotters finally notice) Nideria Rex!

SpongeBob: King Jellyfish! (the king sees the queen and is instantly smitten. He grows lips and puckers up)

Kevin: Kissyface! (the queen flies off and SpongeBob runs. The king gives chase. The queen eventually crashes into a billboard for Kevin's Ointment and breaks apart. The king sees Kevin, the Jellyspotters, and SpongeBob)

King Jellyfish: (angrily) Keeeee-viiiiin! (zaps the ground and they all run off. They find refuge in a cave. Comes back with a helmet and American Football uniform and attempts to bash in the cave. Inside, the Jellyspotters and SpongeBob are pretty scared. The bashing stops)

Kevin: I think he's gone. One of you go out and check. (the Jellyspotters push one fish out of the cave to see. The fish looks around and "meep-meep"s happily, giving the all-clear. Soon, however, he's zapped and "meep-meep"s not to come out. All the fish go around Kevin asking what to do) Don't look at me! I was only in this for the fashion! (close up on Kevin's pants, with patches, stickers and a toy jellyfish coming out of his pocket) It's hopeless! We're trapped! We're trapped! (sits down and curls to a ball) Help me mommy, help me! I want my blankie! I want my blankie!

SpongeBob: (to fishes) Now what do we do? (the fish get down and imitate Kevin. Goes out to face the king. The king growls and buzzes. Takes out some bubbles)

King Jellyfish: What the...? (SpongeBob blows out one in the shape of a giant cherry pie) Mmmmmm. Yummy! (The king, satisfied, leaves to eat his snack. The fishes come out and gather around SpongeBob. Kevin follows)

Kevin: I can't believe it! How did you know?

SpongeBob: (laughs) Everybody loves pie!

Fish: (ominous voice) Wha-wha-wha!

Kevin: Well, SquarePants, that was impressive, but you're still not in the club because you didn't catch a queen jellyfish. (the other Jellyspotters narrow their eyes and run over to Kevin, off-screen) Wait, what are you doing? (a ripping soun is heard and Kevin screams. The fish run back with Kevin's crown and place it on SpongeBob. He laughs)

SpongeBob: Wow, I didn't know this was a hat! (Kevin stands in agony, both for emotional and physical reasons)

Kevin: (teary-eyed) It wasn't... (cross-fade to back at the convention. SpongeBob talks to Patrick)

SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick!

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob! Did you get into that club?

SpongeBob: Yeah, but I turned them down. It's not about Kevin, it's about jellyfish!

Patrick: Well, SpongeBob, I'm glad you learned your lesson. (zoom out to see that Patrick has Jeffrey Jellyfish tied up in a wagon he's towing) Hero worship is unhealthy. (the two walk off) C'mon, Jeffrey.

Transcripts Episodes
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Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
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