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Episode Transcript: Bubblestand

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==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
  
−
SpongeBob!” Squidward yelled as he poked his head out of his window. “How can I watch my porno tapes with all that racket?”
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Ah, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful.<br>
 +
(SpongeBob grabs wood, hammer, and nails, then starts building a bubblestand.)
  
−
“Sorry Squid, I’ll be quieter,” SpongeBob said.
+
'''Squidward:''' Can we lower the volume, please? I can't work with all that racket going on!
  
−
“Finally, some peace and quiet, now I can fuck my clarinet!” Squidward said.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, sure thing, Squidward.  
  
−
“Hey Squidward, come here!” SpongeBob yelled.
+
'''Squidward:''' Ha, yeah right.  
  
−
“What the hellin’ shit do you want?” Squidward hollered.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay.<br>
 +
(SpongeBob taps on the nail lightly, then looks up at Squidward's window, and repeats this 5 times.)
  
−
“Wanna blow my penis? Give me a blow job for only 25 cents!” SpongeBob asked.
+
'''Squidward:''' And now, some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you.<br>
 +
(Squidward starts to play. SpongeBob looks up and sees that Squidward is playing his clarinet, so he decides to finish building the stand quickly. Squidward looks out at SpongeBob.)
  
−
“SpongeBob, you’re a retard! Who in their fucking mind would pay to fucking suck your dick?” Squidward hollered.
+
'''Squidward:''' I thought I... wha?
  
−
Suddenly, Patrick crawled out of his rock. “Did someone say the words ‘suck’ and ‘dick’ in the same sentence?” Patrick asked.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents.  
  
−
“Oh god damn it!” Squidward angrily said.
+
'''Squidward:''' Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles.  
  
−
“Suck my dick, only 25 cents,” SpongeBob said.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Uh huh!
  
−
“Wait, the only thing I have in my pants is my penis, I aint got no money,” Patrick depressingly said.
+
'''Squidward:''' Oh please! I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles?<br>
 +
(Patrick's rock opens.)
  
−
“Here you go,” SpongeBob said as he gave Patrick a quarter.
+
'''Patrick:''' Good morning!<br>
 +
(Patrick falls off his rock.)
  
−
“Uh, SpongeBob, I don’t know how to suck on cock! I don’t even know how to eat pussy!” Patrick said.
+
'''Squidward:''' Oh, boy.<br>
 +
(Patrick walks over to SpongeBob.)
  
−
“How about some lessons?” SpongeBob offered. “Only one quarter.”
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Good morning to you sir. Would you care to blow a bubble?
  
−
“Can I borrow another quarter?” Patrick asked as SpongeBob gave him another quarter.
+
'''Patrick:''' Hmmm, how much is it?
  
−
“Lessons on how to choke on a dick? How morbid, now this I gotta see!” Squidward said to his penis.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Only a quarter.  
  
−
“Okay Patrick, it’s all in the sexy technique,” SpongeBob said. “First you spin around, get down on your knees, open your mouth.” SpongeBob then got out a Popsicle. “Now you suck on it like a popsicle,” SpongeBob demonstrated as he took the frozen dairy product and sucked on it as he moaned in pleasure and rubbed his nipples.
+
'''Patrick:''' Sounds reasonable. Um, I'm going to need to borrow a quarter.  
  
−
“Let me try,” Patrick said as SpongeBob pulled down his pants. But Patrick was actually blowing air into Sponge Bob’s cock!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Sure thing, Patrick.<br>
 +
(SpongeBob pulls out a quarter and gives it to Patrick.)
  
−
“Ha! Ha! He! Ha! Ha!” Squidward laughed as he jumped out of his house and watched Patrick inflate SpongeBob’s penis. “You guys are
+
'''Patrick:''' Ah, one quarter. <br>
 +
(Patrick hands SpongeBob the quarter. SpongeBob bites it to see if it's real, and it bends.)
  
−
such retards!”
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Thank you.
  
−
“You’re just jealous because you can’t suck dick!” SpongeBob challenged as Patrick passed out from blowing too hard.
+
'''Squidward:''' Ha, business is booming. How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Heh.  
  
−
“What! I’ll show you how to suck dick!” Squidward said as he threw a quarter at SpongeBob’s nuts. “Now keep my stupid quarter.”
+
'''SpongeBob:''' One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go.<br>
 +
(Patrick grabs the wand from SpongeBob, inhales deeply and begins to blow, but nothing happens. After a while, SpongeBob puts up a lessons sign.)
  
−
“Oh! My balls! God, it hurts!” SpongeBob cried as he bent down on his knees and clutched his little testicles in his hands.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents.  
  
−
“Now, I’ll show you how it’s done; now pull your pants down, Patrick!” Squidward said.
+
'''Patrick:''' Uh, very well then. Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter?<br>
 +
(SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter.)
  
−
“Fine, I’m warning you, my penis doesn’t like guys who don’t know how to take it in the mouth,” Patrick said as he took off his pants. Squidward was about to put his mouth on Patrick’s erect dick when suddenly Patrick’s dick made a farting sound as it fell down and became soft again.
+
'''Patrick:''' Thanks.  
  
−
“What, why’d you lose your boner?” Squidward asked.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique! First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two three. Then pelvic thrust. Whooooooo, whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then...<br>
 +
(SpongeBob blows three bubbles; one big duck and two small ducks.)
  
−
“My prick doesn’t like you,” Patrick said.
+
'''Patrick:''' Oooooh.<br>
 +
(SpongeBob pops out of nowhere and blows a box. Patrick giggles as SpongeBob blows a caterpillar.)
  
−
“It will when I’m through with it!” Squidward said. “Now think of naked ladies so you’ll get a boner again.” Patrick did as he was told and his dick became erect again. “Now, take this!” Squidward said when Patrick’s dick became soft again.
+
'''Patrick:''' Ahahaha.<br>
 +
(SpongeBob blows a boat bubble. It floats off, then pops and makes a foghorn noise.)
  
−
“Try the sexy technique, Squid,” SpongeBob suggested.
+
'''Squidward:''' Huh?<br>
 +
(Squidward looks at his clarinet.)
  
−
“Technique?” Squidward asked as he folded his arms.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' And now... with two hands!<br>
 +
(SpongeBob inhales deeply, and blows an elephant bubble while circus music starts playing. Patrick starts laughing.)
  
−
“Sexy Technique,” SpongeBob corrected.
+
'''Patrick:''' It's a giraffe!<br>
 +
(The elephant floats into Squidward's house and explodes. Squidward angrily walks outside and goes toward the bubblestand.)
  
−
“I don’t need your ludicrous technique! Now go fuck your mom’s or something you little shits! There are better things to do than suck each other’s dicks all day!” Squidward hollered. “If you’re getting your dick sucked by another male all day, then you’re gay!” Squidward roared. Suddenly, Squidward got so stressed out, a giant bubble of semen shot out of his dick.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Excuse me sir, but we are cl...  
  
−
“WOW! How did you do that?” SpongeBob yelped in ecstasy.
+
'''Squidward:''' Don't give me any of that! How can you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?  
  
−
“Do what? What the fuck did I god damn shitting fucking fuck shit damn fuckity fucky fuckus do?” Squidward asked confusingly.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We're not just blowing bubbles, we're making bubble art! Watch carefully. First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two three. Then pelvic thrust. Whooooooo, whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then...<br>
 +
(SpongeBob blows a butterfly which flies over to Squidward, lands on his head, and finally pops.)
  
−
“That,” Patrick said as he pointed at the giant bubble of semen.
+
'''Squidward:''' That's not art! That's just annoying! Blowing bubbles, that's the lamest idea I have ever heard!<br>
 +
(SpongeBob and Patrick put their head down as they walk to Sponge's house.)
  
−
“I did that?” Squidward asked.
+
'''Squidward:''' You should be ashamed of yourselves! Bubbles. Ha. Art.<br>
 +
(Squidward mumbles, then picks up bubble wand, sniffs it, and inhales to blow a bubble. SpongeBob pops up out of nowhere.)
  
−
“Yeah! Go Squid! You fucking rock! You’re the master of the cock!” SpongeBob and Patrick yelled with glee.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' That'll be 25 cents, sir.  
  
−
“Yes, thank you, thank you everyone,” Squidward smugly said until he got caught in the semen bubble. The bubble started floating up as Squidward gagged and choked in his own semen. He couldn’t breathe and he was suffocating. Then Squidward’s head exploded due to suffocation and his brain and blood splattered all over the bubble. The bubble then slowly turned red.
+
'''Squidward:''' Ah, whoa, what? Oh, who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles?
  
−
“What happened?” Patrick asked as his head popped out of SpongeBob’s pants
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We also offer lessons for beginners.
  
−
“Shut up and keep sucking!” SpongeBob said yelled as he shoved Patrick back down his pants.
+
'''Squidward:''' Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? Here's your 25 cents!<br>
 +
(Squidward hands SpongeBob a quarter. SpongeBob bites it to see if it's real, and it bends.)
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' Watch and learn.<br>
 +
(Squidward inhales deeply and begins to blow, but nothing happens.)
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' Uhh, wait, wait, wait. One more time. Wait.<br>
 +
Squidward inhales and blows again. A small bubble comes out and quickly falls to the ground and pops. Squidward looks over ant SpongeBob and Patrick. They gulp then whistle. Squidward places another quarter on the stand.
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' Just a mere warm-up.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey Squidward, remember the technique.<br>
 +
(Squidward keeps trying while SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to show him the technique.)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Technique, technique, tech-<br>
 +
(Squidward looks at them annoyed.)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' You're not doing the technique.
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' Technique? Technique? Technique, technique, technique, technique, technique! First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take three times. And here we go... pelvic thrust. Whooooooo, whooooooo. Oh, stop on your right foot, don't forget it. Then bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, a little of that, this, that, and this. And that and this. this that this that. Then ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!!
 +
Squidward blows huge bubble that lifts him off of the ground.)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Wow!
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' All right Squid! That was so good!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Squid is number one!
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' I really did it, didn't I? You guys didn't blow anything like that!
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' No.
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' Now that's a bubble!
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' You said it, Squidward. See, it is all in the technique!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Yeah, technique.
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' Technique? Ha! SpongeBob, you don’t think I created that... (Squidward kisses one of his tentacle.)
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' ...beautiful work of art with your help? Come on, it's in my genes.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Squid's got genes! Squid's got genes!
 +
 
 +
S'''quidward:''' Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.<br>
 +
(Squidward goes back in his house.)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward...
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' I rock!<br>
 +
Squidward's bubble flies over them, covers Squidward's house, and pulls it out of the ground and up towards the surface of the ocean. SpongeBob notices then stops Patrick.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward!
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' Hello my friends, you are looking at a...<br>
 +
(Squidward looks down and sees Bikini Bottom getting farther and farther away.)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Squidward!
 +
 
 +
'''Squidward:''' ...genius.<br>
 +
(The bubble explodes.)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Wow!<br>
 +
(As house falls to the ground, SpongeBob and Patrick run towards their own houses. Squidward's house lands in its old spot, and he plays his clarinet.)
 +
 
 +
{{Transcripts/Season 1}}
 +
[[Category:Transcript]]
 +
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 1]]
 +
 
 +
{{Slogan}}

Revision as of 23:12, 19 December 2008

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Tea at the Treedome Ripped Pants

Episode Article: Bubblestand

Characters

Dialogue

SpongeBob: Ah, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful.
(SpongeBob grabs wood, hammer, and nails, then starts building a bubblestand.)

Squidward: Can we lower the volume, please? I can't work with all that racket going on!

SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Squidward.

Squidward: Ha, yeah right.

SpongeBob: Okay.
(SpongeBob taps on the nail lightly, then looks up at Squidward's window, and repeats this 5 times.)

Squidward: And now, some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you.
(Squidward starts to play. SpongeBob looks up and sees that Squidward is playing his clarinet, so he decides to finish building the stand quickly. Squidward looks out at SpongeBob.)

Squidward: I thought I... wha?

SpongeBob: Hey Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents.

Squidward: Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles.

SpongeBob: Uh huh!

Squidward: Oh please! I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles?
(Patrick's rock opens.)

Patrick: Good morning!
(Patrick falls off his rock.)

Squidward: Oh, boy.
(Patrick walks over to SpongeBob.)

SpongeBob: Good morning to you sir. Would you care to blow a bubble?

Patrick: Hmmm, how much is it?

SpongeBob: Only a quarter.

Patrick: Sounds reasonable. Um, I'm going to need to borrow a quarter.

SpongeBob: Sure thing, Patrick.
(SpongeBob pulls out a quarter and gives it to Patrick.)

Patrick: Ah, one quarter.
(Patrick hands SpongeBob the quarter. SpongeBob bites it to see if it's real, and it bends.)

SpongeBob: Thank you.

Squidward: Ha, business is booming. How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Heh.

SpongeBob: One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go.
(Patrick grabs the wand from SpongeBob, inhales deeply and begins to blow, but nothing happens. After a while, SpongeBob puts up a lessons sign.)

SpongeBob: Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents.

Patrick: Uh, very well then. Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter?
(SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter.)

Patrick: Thanks.

SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique! First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two three. Then pelvic thrust. Whooooooo, whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then...
(SpongeBob blows three bubbles; one big duck and two small ducks.)

Patrick: Oooooh.
(SpongeBob pops out of nowhere and blows a box. Patrick giggles as SpongeBob blows a caterpillar.)

Patrick: Ahahaha.
(SpongeBob blows a boat bubble. It floats off, then pops and makes a foghorn noise.)

Squidward: Huh?
(Squidward looks at his clarinet.)

SpongeBob: And now... with two hands!
(SpongeBob inhales deeply, and blows an elephant bubble while circus music starts playing. Patrick starts laughing.)

Patrick: It's a giraffe!
(The elephant floats into Squidward's house and explodes. Squidward angrily walks outside and goes toward the bubblestand.)

SpongeBob: Excuse me sir, but we are cl...

Squidward: Don't give me any of that! How can you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?

SpongeBob: We're not just blowing bubbles, we're making bubble art! Watch carefully. First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two three. Then pelvic thrust. Whooooooo, whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then...
(SpongeBob blows a butterfly which flies over to Squidward, lands on his head, and finally pops.)

Squidward: That's not art! That's just annoying! Blowing bubbles, that's the lamest idea I have ever heard!
(SpongeBob and Patrick put their head down as they walk to Sponge's house.)

Squidward: You should be ashamed of yourselves! Bubbles. Ha. Art.
(Squidward mumbles, then picks up bubble wand, sniffs it, and inhales to blow a bubble. SpongeBob pops up out of nowhere.)

SpongeBob: That'll be 25 cents, sir.

Squidward: Ah, whoa, what? Oh, who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles?

SpongeBob: We also offer lessons for beginners.

Squidward: Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? Here's your 25 cents!
(Squidward hands SpongeBob a quarter. SpongeBob bites it to see if it's real, and it bends.)

Squidward: Watch and learn.
(Squidward inhales deeply and begins to blow, but nothing happens.)

Squidward: Uhh, wait, wait, wait. One more time. Wait.
Squidward inhales and blows again. A small bubble comes out and quickly falls to the ground and pops. Squidward looks over ant SpongeBob and Patrick. They gulp then whistle. Squidward places another quarter on the stand.

Squidward: Just a mere warm-up.

SpongeBob: Hey Squidward, remember the technique.
(Squidward keeps trying while SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to show him the technique.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Technique, technique, tech-
(Squidward looks at them annoyed.)

SpongeBob: You're not doing the technique.

Squidward: Technique? Technique? Technique, technique, technique, technique, technique! First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take three times. And here we go... pelvic thrust. Whooooooo, whooooooo. Oh, stop on your right foot, don't forget it. Then bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, a little of that, this, that, and this. And that and this. this that this that. Then ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!! Squidward blows huge bubble that lifts him off of the ground.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow!

SpongeBob: All right Squid! That was so good!

Patrick: Squid is number one!

Squidward: I really did it, didn't I? You guys didn't blow anything like that!

SpongeBob: No.

Squidward: Now that's a bubble!

SpongeBob: You said it, Squidward. See, it is all in the technique!

Patrick: Yeah, technique.

Squidward: Technique? Ha! SpongeBob, you don’t think I created that... (Squidward kisses one of his tentacle.)

Squidward: ...beautiful work of art with your help? Come on, it's in my genes.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Squid's got genes! Squid's got genes!

Squidward: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
(Squidward goes back in his house.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward...

Squidward: I rock!
Squidward's bubble flies over them, covers Squidward's house, and pulls it out of the ground and up towards the surface of the ocean. SpongeBob notices then stops Patrick.

SpongeBob: Squidward!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!

Squidward: Hello my friends, you are looking at a...
(Squidward looks down and sees Bikini Bottom getting farther and farther away.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward!

Squidward: ...genius.
(The bubble explodes.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow!
(As house falls to the ground, SpongeBob and Patrick run towards their own houses. Squidward's house lands in its old spot, and he plays his clarinet.)


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