Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/Part 5

Latest revision as of 19:11, 9 March 2023

[edit] Dialogue

[edit] Chapter 33: Alive

SpongeBob: Hey, we're alive! (the pirates cheer and we see SpongeBob and Patrick) Let's get that crown.

Patrick: Right. (he and SpongeBob rush over to the crown and get ready to pick it up)

SpongeBob: On three, Patrick. Ready? One, two, three. (scuba diver picks up crown) Hey, it's lighter than I thought. Huh? (he and Patrick scream)

Cyclops: ROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(the camera pulls up to reveal that the scuba diver is the one that picked it up. Suddenly, all of the sea creatures in the room begin to shake and come back to life because of the water sprinklers)

[edit] Chapter 34: The Bag of Winds

Patrick: What's happening?

SpongeBob: I don't know. Look! (1,007 sea creatures, including Mr. Puff, a Spanish band, the seahorses and three of Patrick's relatives reanimate. Three Lobsters that bear a strong resemblance to Mr. Krabs, squirt glue at the scuba diver and the other sea creatures attack the scuba diver and SpongeBob and Patrick escape) Come on, Patrick. Let's get this crown back to Bikini Bottom. (the two carry the crown outside to the beach)

SpongeBob: Do you still have that bag of winds?

Patrick: I sure do. (Patrick shows a lump on his butt) Here you go. (pulls out the bag. SpongeBob stares at him, wide-eyed) What?

SpongeBob: Nothing, nothing... Okay, let's go over the instructions. (reads the paper with the instructions on it) Let's see, it says here, "Step one: Point bag away from home. "

Patrick: OK. (points bag at Shell City)

SpongeBob: "Step two: Plant feet firmly on ground. "

Patrick: Right! (plants his feet in the sand)

SpongeBob: "Step three: Remove string from bag, releasing the winds. "

Patrick: Check. (pulls the string tied around the bag, and the bag flies out of his arm)

SpongeBob: Well, that seems simple enough. Point bag away from home, feet firmly on ground, pull string, releasing the winds. All right, let's do it for real.

Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: No, no, stop! (chases after the bag)

Patrick: I was bad, I'm sorry!

SpongeBob: Please, bag.

Patrick: I'm sorry, I just thought... It was a mistake!

SpongeBob: Oh, no. How will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?

[edit] Chapter 35: The S.S David

David Hasselhoff: (offscreen) I can take you there. (SpongeBob and Patrick spot David Hasselhoff running towards them)

SpongeBob: Who are you?

Hasselhoff: I'm David Hasselhoff.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray!

SpongeBob: So where's your boat?

Hasselhoff: Boat? (laughs heartily. The next scene depicts SpongeBob and Patrick riding toward Bikini Bottom)

SpongeBob: Go, Hasselhoff!

Patrick: Next stop, Bikini Bottom.

[edit] Chapter 36: The Day That Krabs Fries

(cut back to Bikini Bottom. Plankton's slaves are still under control)

Bikini Bottom Residents: All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton. (inside the Krusty Krab 2, Plankton is walking in)

Plankton: Well, Krabs, you know what today is? (looks at the calendar. The date is wrong) Sorry about this, calendar. (changes it) March 14th. Wait, that's not right. It should say "The day that Krabs fries!" (looks out the window and sees King Neptune and Princess Mindy arrive) Oooh! Guess who's here.

[edit] Chapter 37: Return of the Angry Assassin

(cut to above the ocean, with David Hasselhoff swimming with SpongeBob and Patrick. We see a guy on a boat and Hasselhoff swims past him)

Guy: Whoa. (falls down on the water. Hasselhoff continues swimming toward Bikini Bottom)

SpongeBob: Hooray for Hasselhoff! Nothing can stop us now.

Patrick: Unidentified object off the hindquarters.

SpongeBob: It looks like... (the diver's boot emerges from the ocean) Bigger boot. But how? (the boot stops behind Hasselhoff's foot. It lifts back to reveal a smudged, green blob, very similar to Plankton earlier when he got stepped on by SpongeBob. From it, Dennis reforms, his sunglasses smashed through, his teeth sharp and his clothes ripped. Then, he peels himself off and lands on Hasselhoff's foot) Ah! Dennis!

Dennis: (smiles in an evil manner) Did you miss me?

[edit] Chapter 38: Stalling

(at the Krusty Krab 2, Neptune and Mindy arrive)

Plankton: (he has popcorn and a drink with him. He is sitting on a small chair) This is the best seat in the house. All right, Neptune, let's get it on!

Neptune: Eugene Krabs, your six-day reprieve is up, and it is time for you to die.

Mr. Krabs: (he is rapidly sweating mounds of ice cubes) Please, I didn't do it!

Neptune: There is nothing else I can do.

Mindy: You can give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time.

Neptune: Except give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time... (muttering) What? (realizes what he just said. Turns to Mindy) Mindy!!! Will you butt out?! I won't have you stalling this execution.

Mindy: Stalling? I'm not stalling anything.

Neptune: Yes, you are.

Mindy: No, I'm not.

Neptune: Yes, you are. You're doing it right now.

Mindy: I'm stalling.

Neptune: Yes.

Mindy: Stalling?

Neptune: Stalling!

Mindy: Stalling.

Neptune: Stalling!

Plankton: Oh, boy.

[edit] Chapter 39: The REAL Boat Battle

(back above the ocean, Dennis has appeared. He takes off his smashed through shades and throws them in the sea.)

Dennis: Now, where were we?

SpongeBob: Patrick, run!

Patrick: No, I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never stop... (Dennis throws Patrick towards Hasselhoff's feet) Run, SpongeBob! (SpongeBob runs. Dennis pulls out a knife, which he accidentally stabs Hasselhoff in the butt with)

Hasselhoff: Ooh. Take it easy back there, fellas. (SpongeBob tries to run from Dennis, but he's coming closer and closer)

Patrick: SpongeBob, be careful.

Dennis: Come on, kid, give it up. Dennis always gets his man.

SpongeBob: Never! (jumps to Hasselhoff's other foot dramatically) Yeah! I did it!

Dennis: You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip them out of you.

SpongeBob: I don't know what Plankton's paying you, (takes out a pile of Goober Dollars) but if you let us go, I can make it worth your while. (Dennis swipes the dollars)

Dennis: It's gonna take a lot more than five... (looks at the dollars) What is this?

SpongeBob: Uh, that, sir, is five Goober Dollars. Legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober... (throws the dollars away and grabs SpongeBob) I got bubbles. Fun at parties. (sprays soapy bubbles into Dennis' eyes which causes them to swell up and go red)

Dennis: My eyes! (throws SpongeBob)

Patrick: I got you, SpongeBob! (catches him)

SpongeBob: Thanks, buddy. (Dennis threatens to squish them) Uh, thanks a lot.

Dennis: That's it! I'm through messing around! See you later, fools! (a catamaran sailboat honks right in front of them) Huh? (a blonde woman in a boat steers over Hasselhoff's body as he ducks his head down. Screams and we cut to black for a few seconds)

Patrick: (Hasselhoff re-emerges from under the boat. Dennis has disappeared, his fate being left unknown) See ya.

[edit] Chapter 40: Stalling Continues

(inside the Krusty Krab 2)

Mindy: So you think....I'm....stalling.

Neptune: Aaaaaagggghhhhh! Where am I, in crazy town? I have had enough of this nonsense! You are to wait in the carriage until the execution is done!

Mindy: But Daddy...

Neptune: Now!!! (gets on a strangely-existing elevator and presses the floor button. Neptune closes the elevator)

Mindy: No, no, no! Oh, SpongeBob, wherever you are, you better hurry.

[edit] Chapter 41: The Return to Bikini Bottom

(back above the ocean, Hasselhoff swims to Bikini Atoll)

Hasselhoff: (stands up) Okay, fellas, this is where you get off. Bikini Bottom's directly below.

SpongeBob: But we'll never be able to float down in time.

Hasselhoff: Who said anything about floating? (his pecs turn into launchers)

Announcer: Initiating launch sequence.

SpongeBob and Patrick: What the...? (all systems are green in the chest)

SpongeBob: Did you see that?

Patrick: The control.

Hasselhoff: All hands on deck.

Announcer: 10 seconds to liftoff, 9, 8...

(the sea starts to shake)

[edit] Chapter 42: Stalling Ends

Neptune: (lights his trident) Eugene Krabs, the time has come...

Mindy: (outside) No.

Plankton: (quietly) Yes!

Announcer: ...6, 5...

Neptune: ...For you...

Mindy: (outside) No.

Plankton: (normally) Yes!

Announcer: ...3, 2...

Neptune: ...To fry.

Mindy: (outside) No.

Plankton: (close up) YES!!!

Announcer: ...1. (explosion is heard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and the crown are launched in the ocean and back down to Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob and Patrick scream as they fall)

[edit] Chapter 43: SpongeBob and Patrick Save Mr. Krabs

Mr. Krabs: NO! (just then, SpongeBob and Patrick fall through the roof. Krabs is about to be fried, but the crown blocks the ray, and it is blasted up to land, where Hasselhoff is lying down)

Hasselhoff: You done good, Hasselhoff. You done... (he is blasted with Neptune's ray but survives) ow.

[edit] Chapter 44: Saved by the Sponge...Really!

SpongeBob: Hooray! We made it!

Patrick: We made it! (he and Patrick laugh and jump with excitement)

Mr. Krabs: Ha! Ha! Oh, I he ya! Yippee! Ho! Ho! We made it!

Neptune: My crown! My beautiful crown!

Mindy: (gets out of the elevator) SpongeBob, Patrick, I knew you could do it! (hugs them. Plankton then starts clapping slowly)

Plankton: (sarcastically) Oh, yes. Well done, SpongeBoob.

SpongeBob: (sarcastically) Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.

Plankton: Oh, don't worry about me. My parade shall be quite dry under my umbrella! (pulls a cord that is hanging above him)

SpongeBob, Mindy and Patrick: Umbrella? (they turn to Neptune, who is kissing his crown. The ceiling opens up and a helmet falls out. It lands on Neptune's head. He struggles to get it off)

[edit] Chapter 45: Goofy Goober ROCK!

Plankton: Cheated? (to Neptune) Hold on there, baldy. (activates the bucket helmet)

Neptune: All hail Plankton.

Plankton: (to SpongeBob) Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You'd never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?

SpongeBob: Because you cheated?

Plankton: No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid. A stupid kid!

SpongeBob: I guess you're right, Plankton. I am just a kid.

Plankton: Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kill.

SpongeBob: And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are.

Plankton: That's right. Okay, Neptune...

SpongeBob: And no amount of mermaid magic... (turns to Mindy) ...or managerial promotion... (turns to the still-frozen Mr. Krabs) ...or some other third thing...can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.

Plankton: That's great. Now, get back against the wall.

SpongeBob: (over microphone) But that's okay.

Plankton: What? What's going on?

SpongeBob: Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back.

Plankton: All right, we get the point.

SpongeBob: So, yeah, I'm a kid. (dry ice smoke surrounds Plankton, and a spotlight appears on SpongeBob) And I'm also a goofball. And a wing nut. And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!

Plankton: What? (coughs from the smoke) What's going on here?

SpongeBob: But most of all, I'm...

Plankton: Okay, settle down. Take it easy. Oh no?

SpongeBob: I'm... I'm...I'M!...I'M!

Plankton: What the scallop?!

SpongeBob: (song blast) I'm a goofy goober! (Rock!)
(Plankton is hurled into the wall)
You're a goofy goober! (Rock!)
We're all goofy goobers!(Rock!)
Goofy, goofy, goofy, goofy goober! (Rock!)

Put your toys away,
Well, all I gotta say when you tell me not to play, I say, "No way!" (No way!)
No, no, no, freaking way
"I'm a kid," you say
When you say I'm a kid 
I say, "Say it again!" and then I say "Thanks" (Thanks!)
"Thank you very much"

So, if you're thinking that you'd like to be like me
Go ahead and try, the kid inside will set you free!
(a hum a la bey ba la zeba la bob e la hum a la bey ba la zeba la bop)

I'm a goofy goober! (Rock!)
You're a goofy goober! (Rock!)
We're all goofy goobers! (Rock!)
Goofy, goofy, goofy, goofy goober, yeah!

Plankton: (recovering after he was hurled into the wall) What's happening? (sees SpongeBob dancing) His dance moves are impressive, but I'm in control. (to slaves) Seize him!

People: All hail Plankton. (people begin walking towards SpongeBob. SpongeBob sudenly explodes into a wizard outfit, using his guitar to blast the control buckets off of the controlled people)

Fish: I'm free. I've been freed!

Plankton: What? No! (helmets continue to be blasted off as the fish erupt in cheer) My precious helmets! (the main cast of characters all get their helmets blown off)

Sandy: (after being freed) Yee-haw!

Gary: (after being freed) Meow. (SpongeBob shoots a laser into the ceiling, destroying all helmets in Bikini Bottom)

Plankton: His chops are too righteous! The helmets can't handle this level of Rock and Roll! Karen, do something!

Karen: (crowd surfing) Wheeeeeee! Ahahaaa!!

Plankton: Argh! Alright, that's the last straw! Neptune, I command you to-- (gets cut off as a laser destroys Neptune's helmet)

Mindy: (holding the crown) Here you go, daddy.

Plankton: I better get out of here. (runs for the door when he is suddenly blocked by a mass of fish)

Random fish: Look! It's the wizard who saved us!

Plankton: Out of my way, fools! (the people trample over Plankton, storming the Krusty Krab as he cries out in pain. We fade to black, then back to Plankton)

[edit] Chapter 46: Bikini Bottom is Free

Plankton: (he is now squished into the texture of cookie dough, covered with shoe-prints. The policemen pick him up and put him in a cage) Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? With the helmets and the big monuments...Wasn't that hilarious, everybody? (his cage is put in a police car, which drives away; referring to everyone that was watching) I will destroy all of you!

Neptune: Well, Mindy, I have to admit, you were right. Your compassion for these sea creatures proved a most admirable trait. Without it, I would have never again seen my beloved crown. I think you're going to make a fine ruler of the sea one day. Now, let's go home. (turns to leave, but is stopped by Mindy)

Mindy: Daddy, haven't you forgotten something?

Neptune: Huh? Wha--? Oh, uh... Oh, yeah. Eugene Krabs, I forgot to unfreeze you. (does so, but Mr. Krabs is pink instead of red)

Mr. Krabs (pink): What the...?

Neptune: Oops. I guess I had it set to "real boy" ending. (sets it right. Mr. Krabs turns red)

Mr. Krabs: Yippee!

Neptune: Oh, I'm sorry for falsely freezing you, Krabs. And may I say, sir, you are a very lucky fellow to have in your employ such a brave, faithful, and heroic young lad. Where is he, anyway?

[edit] Chapter 47: Hooray for SpongeBob

SpongeBob: I'm up here. (we see him hanging from ropes)

Patrick: I'm on it. (gets SpongeBob down)

Neptune: Go to him now, Krabs. Embrace him. (Krabs walks over to SpongeBob)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy. I'm sorry I ever doubted ye. That's a mistake I won't make again.

SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, you old soft-serve. (they hug)

Mr. Krabs: And now, SpongeBob, I'm gonna do something that I should've done six days ago. Mr. Squidward! Front and center, please. (Squidward comes) I think we all know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin. (looks at SpongeBob)

Squidward: I couldn't agree more, sir.

Harold: Hooray for SpongeBob! (everyone starts cheering)

SpongeBob: Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.

Squidward: I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.

SpongeBob: Are you crazy? (grabs manager pin) I was just gonna tell you that your fly is down! (Squidward's eyes widen) Manager, this is the greatest day of my life! (jumps and the scene freeze-frames as Ocean Man starts playing. We fade to black and the credits begin rolling as "Ocean Man" continues to play, followed by SpongeBob and Patrick Confront the Psychic Wall of Energy, Just a Kid and The Best Day Ever. As "The Best Day Ever" ends and the credits finish rolling, the camera zooms out and a curtain closes)

[edit] Chapter 48: Back at the Theater (Post-credits scene)

Captain: You know. David Hasselhoff is a great artist.

Usher: Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave. (pirates groan)

Captain: What?! Say that again, if you dare. (points his sword at her)

Parrot: Squawk.

Usher: You folks have to leave.

Captain: Okay. (everyone leaves the theater)

Pirate: Sorry about that.

(the usher sweeps up the popcorn, humming. We fade to black and the Paramount Pictures logo fades in and out)