Episode Transcript: Eek, an Urchin!

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Squid Defense

Episode Article: Eek, an Urchin!

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(episode begins at the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: (whistles and flips a Krabby Patty onto a bun. Walks over and squirts ketchup on it but also accidentally spills some on the floor) Oh, I've made a mess. And that means... (takes out a spray and rag) ...cleaning time! (sprays himself in the face) MY EYES! (the spray bounces away) My spray... (watches it roll toward the grill) Oh no, it rolled... (the spray rolls under the grill) ...beneath the grill! (runs near the grill) I can do this. (reaches hand slowly under the dirty grill and pulls out a skull) Nope! (throws it away then grabs something) A-ha! Gotcha! (opens hand to reveal a sea urchin and it starts to walk on his arm. Screams) An urchin! (the urchin crawls around on his face)

Squidward: Nothing ever happens in this dump...

SpongeBob: (jumps up) Squid!

Squidward: Why did I say that?

SpongeBob: (jumps up again) Ward!

Squidward: (pulls down curtain on window but then hears the phone ring and answers it) Krusty Krab!


Squidward: (comes into the kitchen) WHAT?! (SpongeBob is screaming and running around the place. Grabs SpongeBob) What are you screaming about?!

SpongeBob: (jumps onto Squidward's head) The urchin! Geh... (Squidward notices the urchin on his foot. He and SpongeBob jump onto the grill with the urchin crawling around on the walls)

SpongeBob and Squidward: MR. KRABS!

Mr. Krabs: (enters) What's all the ruckus?!

SpongeBob: There's an urchin in the kitchen!

Mr. Krabs: What're talking about? The Krusty Krab is a standard in fast food cleaniness. An urchin wouldn't dare step hide into this establishment! (holds up claw and notices the urchin on him. Screams. The urchin jumps off his tongue and then he jumps onto the grill with SpongeBob and Squidward. The urchin continues to crawl around making strange noises. The grill starts to smoke) The grill is still on...isn't it? (all three scream and jump into bathroom stalls. They sigh in relief. They enter the kitchen again to find the urchin running around)

SpongeBob: There it is! (picks up a bucket) I'll get it! (smashes the bucket on top of the urchin) I got it! (the urchin pulls him toward a wall and he ends up in the bucket instead. Spits out the urchin)

Mr. Krabs: (holding a broom) Hold it right there! (smashes the broom on the urchin) Gotcha you prickly pest! (the urchin picks him up and starts to spin him around) WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! (the urchin smashes him around then onto the ground, knocking him out)

SpongeBob: Squidward! Don't let it into the dining room! You're our last line of defense!

Squidward: I'm on it. (steps to the side allowing the urchin to get into the dining room. The urchin then ends up on a customer's Krabby Patty and he pours ketchup on it)

SpongeBob: THIS IS TERRIBLE! You should never put that much ketchup on a Krabby Patty. (the urchin flies out as the customer takes a bit into the patty)

SpongeBob, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Phew... (the urchin crawls to a soda machine where Frank pours the drink and the urchin ends up in it. Frank sucks up the urchin and starts to choke on it but eventually coughs it out. The urchin goes flying around into a lady's fries and she takes one of the urchin's quills and starts to chew on it)

Squidward: I think I'm gonna be sick! (the urchin leaves the fries and starts moving again)

SpongeBob: Phew! That was close! Thank goodness none noticed the urchin...

Customers: THE URCHIN?! (they scream)

Plankton: (walks up to the front door) Heh! Heh! Finally! I have a fool-proof plan to steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula! Krabs will never recognize me wearing... (takes out glasses) ...these glasses! (gets trampled by the screaming customers. Gets up then walks into the Krusty Krab) What in the seahorse is going on around here?!

Mr. Krabs: Plankton?! Ah, that's all we need. Beat it, ya crook! We have enough pests already!

Plankton: Pests?! What are you talking about? (looks over at the urchin beside him. Screams) AN URCHIN! (jumps onto SpongeBob's face) I HATE those things! This won't do at all. I can't steal the secret formula with that vermin running around! (holds out arm) I propose a truce, Krabs: I'll help you get rid of that creature and I'll promise not to steal the secret formula until it's gone! Crook's honor!

Mr. Krabs: Hmm...it may take a pest to catch a pest. (shakes Plankton's arm) You've got a deal but no tricks, or you'll be the chef's special!

Plankton: Don't worry. (takes out cell phone and calls someone) Karen? (Karen talks on the phone) No, I don't have it. Why do you even bother asking?! (Karen talks) Yeah, yeah...Look! Send over my killer-death robot, would you? (Karen talks) No, the other one. (Karen talks. Stops talking suddenly) I love you too, snookums... Help's on it's way! (his robot wheels into the Krusty Krab) Behold! Your champion!

Mr. Krabs: That piece of junk?!

Plankton: Hold on! You haven't seen it in action yet! (walks over to the robot) I'll just set it for our quarry. (presses button and a image of a seahorse shows up) No... (presses it again and an image of Mr. Krabs who is also saying "Money" over and over shows up) Ignore that one... (presses it again and an image of a sea urchin shows up) Ah ha! Bingo! You have your orders, ATTACK! (the robot spots the urchin and starts to go after it, also running over Plankton in the process. It starts to smash at the urchin using a mallet wrecking the floor. The urchin lands on the table and the robot tears it apart. The robot follows the urchin into the kitchen, where the urchin tries to hide in an barrel. The robot rips it apart and tries to smash the urchin with the mallet again. The urchin blows a raspberry before jumping into the cash register. The robot smashes through the wall and is about to smash the register but is stopped by Mr. Krabs)

Mr. Krabs: Oh no, you don't! (the robot rips off his shell) Grrrrr... (the robot puts him back together) Mallet please! (the robot gives him the mallet and he starts to smash the robot, destroying it and turning it into a lunchbox)

Plankton: OK. Maybe the Death Robot wasn't the best idea...

Mr. Krabs: You think? SPONGEBOB!

SpongeBob: Here, sir!

Mr. Krabs: That little monster's still in there. You open the register, and I'll catch him in here (opens the lunchbox

SpongeBob: Aye-aye, captain! Here goes nothing... (opens the lunchbox to find the urchin eating Mr. Krabs' money)

Mr. Krabs: (screams) ME MONEY! (takes out the mallet again and starts smashing the cash register) Did I get it?!

SpongeBob: (scared) Uh...Mr. Krabs... (Mr. Krabs notices the urchin on his mallet and screams. The urchin spits out a coin and heads back into the kitchen)

Squidward: Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! (takes out a small prickly plant with a bow on top) Yes! Oh, my prized spiny sucklent! Thank Neptune you're safe!

SpongeBob: (gets an idea after seeing Plankton walk beside the plant) Mr. Krabs! Look! (puts the plant behind Plankton with them looking similar in height) Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Plankton: I'm not sure I like where this is heading... (bubble-wipe to Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob working on something)

Mr. Krabs: Cactus!

SpongeBob: (gives Mr. Krabs the cactus) Cactus!

Mr. Krabs: (grabs the cactus) Spoon!

SpongeBob: (takes out a spoon) Spoon!

Mr. Krabs: (uses the spoon to remove the stuff inside of the cactus) Plankton!

SpongeBob: (grabs Plankton) Plankton! (Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton and is about to put him in the cactus, now made into a "cactus suit")

Plankton: Oh, come on! There's gotta be a better way!

Mr. Krabs: (puts Plankton in the cactus suit) Spray can!

SpongeBob: (grabs a spray can) Spray can!

Mr. Krabs: (sprays Plankton and his cactus suit blue causing Plankton to cough) Hmm... I think our darling little decoy still needs something...

Plankton: (SpongeBob puts a bow on top of his head) Oh brother...

Mr. Krabs: [walks near the kitchen holding Plankton) Now get in there, "Planktonella," and lure that little rotten health hazard out of me livelyhood! (throws Plankton into the kitchen)

Plankton: I'm only helping you out so I can get back to robbing you blind!

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Plankton! We're behind you 100%!

Plankton: (walks) This get-up is 100% humiliating. Here, urchin, urchin, urchin! (walks near the grill] Here, you dirty filth-spreading porcupine. I'm wearing lipstick here! (the urchin runs past him under the grill) Huh? What was that? Look sharp, Planktonella...I think we're being watched. (the urchin is on top of the cabinet but it goes away. It's suddenly next to him) Ah! (the urchin makes noises) Uh...hello!

Mr. Krabs: Psst! Go on, Plankton! Make with the romance!

Plankton: Fine. (sticks out arms out of cactus costume and poses) H-h-hey there, handsome! You're cute! For a parasite...(the urchin pants happily and tries to move closer to him) Whoa there, buddy! Why don't we start with a nice romantic stroll? Outside, far away from the Krusty Krab! And the secret formula... (tries to walk off but the urchin stops him) OK! OUCH! (the urchin tries to kiss him) Hey! What kind of urchin do you think I am?! (the urchin touches him. Screams and leaps away. Runs under a table) What could be worse than being romantically pursued by a ravage sea urchin?! (notices a bunch more sea urchins willing to kiss him) A HUNDRED URCHINS! (screams and starts to run away from the urchins)

Mr. Krabs: (has his mallet ready along with SpongeBob who is holding a barrel) Get ready! Here they come! (Plankton is still screaming and running from the horde of sea urchins) Holy mother of Pearl! Batten down the hatches! (he and SpongeBob cover the hole in the wall with the register boat) It's a stampede!

Plankton: (banging on the boat) Come on! Let me out! (turns around and notices the urchins getting closer) MOMMY! (runs to the door and tries to push on it) Come on! Open up! (Mr. Krabs is seen boarding up the door. Gets attacked by the urchins) HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

SpongeBob: Poor Plankton...

Mr. Krabs: Ah, who cares about Plankton? What about me restaurant?

Plankton: I heard that!

Squidward: Enough's enough! (walks toward a thermostat) Time to end this madness! Let's put this freak show on ice! (sets the thermostat to 25 degrees causing the urchins and Plankton to freeze in the kitchen)

Mr. Krabs: Hey! What do you know! That seems to be slowing them down! Better crank it all the way down to be on the safe side! (Squidward turns the thermostat down to -100 degrees) That outta do it! (enters the kitchen with SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: (gasps) It's beautiful! (notices Plankton and the sea urchins frozen solid. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob wearing a outfit and holding a trash can) OK, I'm ready!

Mr. Krabs: Here goes nothing! (turns the thermostat back up causing the urchins to defrost and land into Spongebob's trash can)

SpongeBob: Hurry, Squidward! (Squidward quickly closes the lid on the trash can) We got them! Whoa! Got it!

Squidward: Phew...

SpongeBob: (he and Mr. Krabs go outside) So where do we release them?

Mr. Krabs: I don't care. As long it is far away from the Krusty Krab.

SpongeBob: (stops halfway further up) How's this, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Keep going!

SpongeBob: (walks further) How about now?!

Mr. Krabs: Farther! (sees SpongeBob walks out of sight then gets a phone call and answers it)

SpongeBob: Is this far enough?

Mr. Krabs: (uses a telescope and sees SpongeBob on top of a mountain) No! Father! (SpongeBob walks off) Well, that takes care of that particular problem! (bubble-wipe to Mr. Krabs' office. Answers the phone) Krusty Krab!

SpongeBob: (in Kelp Forest) Is this far enough?

Mr. Krabs: Not far enough! Keep going!

SpongeBob: (stops walking) Well, I guess this is far enough. Here you go, little fellas! This will be your new home! (takes off the lid) Run! Be free! (the urchins runs back into the Krusty Krab) Uh oh...

Mr. Krabs: (screams) SPONGEBOB! (SpongeBob walks backwards while whistling)

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