Episode Transcript: Clams

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(Dialogue)
Line 30: Line 30:
 
Scooter: Well, uhh, what’s your vote on the kelp...<br>
 
Scooter: Well, uhh, what’s your vote on the kelp...<br>
  
Squidward: Sir, let’s just get this out of the way, I hate everything on the menu! Now what do you want?<br>
+
Squidward: Sir, let’s just get this out of the way. I hate everything on the menu! Now what do you want?<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': (pokes his head out from behind the kitchen window) Psst, try the coral bits.<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': (pokes his head out from behind the kitchen window) Psst, try the coral bits.<br>
Line 54: Line 54:
  
 
Mr. Krabs: No, this is my one millionth dollar earned! Every crab’s goal in life is to make a million dollars, and now I  
 
Mr. Krabs: No, this is my one millionth dollar earned! Every crab’s goal in life is to make a million dollars, and now I  
got mine! Congratulations, sir! You have just given me my one millionth dollar!<br>
+
got mine. Congratulations, sir, you have just given me my one millionth dollar!<br>
  
Scooter: Ha, great! Uhh, what do I win?<br>
+
Scooter: Ha, great. Uhh, what do I win?<br>
  
 
Mr. Krabs: Nothing, now get out!<br>
 
Mr. Krabs: Nothing, now get out!<br>
Line 62: Line 62:
 
Scooter: Uhh, what?<br>
 
Scooter: Uhh, what?<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Get out! Everybody get out, you’re spoiling me moment! (pushes everyone out the door) Me millionth dollar!<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Get out! Everybody get out, you’re spoiling me moment! (pushes everyone out the door) Me millionth dollar.<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': Congratulations, Mr. Krabs!<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': Congratulations, Mr. Krabs!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Congratulate yourselves, lad! A captain’s nothing without his loyal crew! I mean, a crew like you comes around  
+
Mr. Krabs: Congratulate yourselves, lad! A captain’s nothing without his loyal crew. I mean, a crew like you comes around  
maybe once in a lifetime! And to reward you for making me millionth dollar, I’m taking you on a trip.<br>
+
maybe once in a lifetime. And to reward you for making me millionth dollar, I’m taking you on a trip.<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': Wow, a trip!<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': Wow, a trip!<br>
  
Squidward: I can’t believe it, Mr. Krabs! Where we going, [[Fancy Springs]]? (scene cuts to the three of them in a pool)<br>
+
Squidward: I can’t believe it, Mr. Krabs. Where we going, [[Fancy Springs]]? (scene cuts to the three of them in a pool)<br>
  
 
Mr. Krabs: No.<br>
 
Mr. Krabs: No.<br>
Line 81: Line 81:
 
Squidward: Ooh, ooh, ooh, [[Bikini Bottom Folk Village]]? (scene cuts to the three of them in 18th century clothing)<br>
 
Squidward: Ooh, ooh, ooh, [[Bikini Bottom Folk Village]]? (scene cuts to the three of them in 18th century clothing)<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: No much better than that! (scene cuts to them wearing raincoats on a boat as Squidward's smile turns to a glare)<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Better than that! (scene cuts to them wearing raincoats on a boat as Squidward's smile turns to a glare)<br>
  
 
Squidward: Clam fishing? This is the reward we get for all our hard work? Fishing for stinky clams on a smelly old boat on  
 
Squidward: Clam fishing? This is the reward we get for all our hard work? Fishing for stinky clams on a smelly old boat on  
Line 106: Line 106:
 
bring anything on a boat that you ain’t prepared to lose! (laughs. SpongeBob casts Mr. Krabs millionth dollar into the  
 
bring anything on a boat that you ain’t prepared to lose! (laughs. SpongeBob casts Mr. Krabs millionth dollar into the  
 
lagoon) Me millionth dollar! SpongeBob, wait! SpongeBob, you hooked me millionth dollar on the back swing! Reel it in  
 
lagoon) Me millionth dollar! SpongeBob, wait! SpongeBob, you hooked me millionth dollar on the back swing! Reel it in  
before I keelhaul you! (music plays) Oh no. SpongeBob, quick, reel it in! Can’t you hear the music? That’s a 4/4 string  
+
before I keelhaul ya. (music plays) Oh no. SpongeBob, quick, reel it in! Can’t you hear the music? That’s a 4/4 string  
ostinato in D minor! Every sailor knows that means death! Reel it in before it’s too late! Hurry, SpongeBob. The music’s  
+
ostinato in D minor. Every sailor knows that means death! Reel it in before it’s too late! Hurry, SpongeBob, the music’s  
 
getting faster! (SpongeBob reels it in as fast as he can. Mr. Krabs opens the doors to the orchestra) There you are ya  
 
getting faster! (SpongeBob reels it in as fast as he can. Mr. Krabs opens the doors to the orchestra) There you are ya  
stinkin' bilge rats. Stop playing that music! Stop it, please! I'm begging ya! Come on, honey, you can make it. Swim  
+
stinkin' bilge rats. Stop playing that music! Stop it, please! I'm begging ya! Come on, honey, you can make it! Swim  
 
faster! Come to me, baby! Come on back! Hurry, SpongeBob.<br>
 
faster! Come to me, baby! Come on back! Hurry, SpongeBob.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Here she comes...She made it!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Here she comes. (Mr. Krabs begs, SpongeBob reels the dollar in) She made it!<br>
  
 
Mr. Krabs: (holds up the dollar and cheers) For a second or two, I thought she was a goner! (ominous orchestra music plays  
 
Mr. Krabs: (holds up the dollar and cheers) For a second or two, I thought she was a goner! (ominous orchestra music plays  
Line 120: Line 120:
  
 
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, you’re never gonna believe it! A giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollar! (bawling) I lost  
 
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, you’re never gonna believe it! A giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollar! (bawling) I lost  
me dollar and I’ll never get it back! Never, never, never, never, never...<br>
+
me dollar and I’ll never get it back. Never, never, never, never, never...<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': I’ve never seen Mr. Krabs so broken up. (Mr. Krabs is in pieces, crying)<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': I’ve never seen Mr. Krabs so broken up. (Mr. Krabs is in pieces, crying)<br>
  
 
Squidward: Oh, please, he's such a drama queen. C'mon, Mr. Krabs, drop the act. (Mr. Krabs is blubbering) Mr. Krabs, it's  
 
Squidward: Oh, please, he's such a drama queen. C'mon, Mr. Krabs, drop the act. (Mr. Krabs is blubbering) Mr. Krabs, it's  
just a stupid dollar. (continues blubbering. Mr. Krabs pours tears into his mouth) For Pete's sake, Mr. Krabs, suck it up!
+
just a stupid dollar. (continues blubbering. Mr. Krabs pours tears into his mouth) For Pete's sake, Mr. Krabs, suck it up.
(Mr. Krabs’ eyes fill up then leak out tears like water faucets) Mr. Krabs... (Mr. Krabs is stil wailing) Ok, ok, Mr. Krabs,
+
(Mr. Krabs’ eyes fill up then leak out tears like water faucets) Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs is stil wailing) Ok, ok, Mr. Krabs!
we’ll help you get your dollar back! (Mr. Krabs throws his thumb away that he was sucking on)<br>
+
We’ll help you get your dollar back. (Mr. Krabs throws his thumb away that he was sucking on)<br>
  
 
Mr. Krabs: You will? Great! Wait right here. (runs off to get some items. Comes back with a bunch of fishing gear on)  
 
Mr. Krabs: You will? Great! Wait right here. (runs off to get some items. Comes back with a bunch of fishing gear on)  
Here’s where clam fishing gets serious! (scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is on top of the boat and SpongeBob  
+
Here’s where clam fishing gets serious. (scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is on top of the boat and SpongeBob  
 
and Squidward are on the lower deck) Ok, you boys man the fishing poles and I’ll keep me eyes peeled for Old Blue Lip.<br>
 
and Squidward are on the lower deck) Ok, you boys man the fishing poles and I’ll keep me eyes peeled for Old Blue Lip.<br>
  
Line 145: Line 145:
 
Well, if he wants his dollar back, I say we give it to him. Know what I mean? Huh? Huh? Huh?<br>
 
Well, if he wants his dollar back, I say we give it to him. Know what I mean? Huh? Huh? Huh?<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I get you. (jabbers. Scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is still scouting the area)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I get ya. (jabbers. Scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is still scouting the area)
  
 
SpongeBob & Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (Mr. Krabs steers his eyes toward the other two to see them waving a dollar)  
 
SpongeBob & Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (Mr. Krabs steers his eyes toward the other two to see them waving a dollar)  
Line 151: Line 151:
  
 
Mr. Krabs: (jumps down and gasps) Could it be? (takes the dollar) Me millionth dollar? (starts cheering again as well as  
 
Mr. Krabs: (jumps down and gasps) Could it be? (takes the dollar) Me millionth dollar? (starts cheering again as well as  
SpongeBob and Squidward) Whoo-hoo! (stops dancing) Wait a minute... (rubs the dollar back and forth) This isn't me  
+
SpongeBob and Squidward) Whoo-hoo! (stops dancing) Wait a minute. (rubs the dollar back and forth) This isn't me  
 
millionth dollar. (SpongeBob and Squidward look at each other) This is an ordinary dollar that’s been crumpled up, torn  
 
millionth dollar. (SpongeBob and Squidward look at each other) This is an ordinary dollar that’s been crumpled up, torn  
 
slightly, soaked in the lagoon, and kissed with Coral Blue #2 Semi-Gloss Lipstick. (shows dollar bill just like described)<br>
 
slightly, soaked in the lagoon, and kissed with Coral Blue #2 Semi-Gloss Lipstick. (shows dollar bill just like described)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Actually, it’s Coral Blue number t-- (Squidward hits him with a fishing rod)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Actually, it’s Coral Blue number t... (Squidward hits him with a fishing rod)<br>
  
 
Mr. Krabs: I trusted you, and you gave me this? I can’t believe me own crew would betray me like this. (cries)
 
Mr. Krabs: I trusted you, and you gave me this? I can’t believe me own crew would betray me like this. (cries)
Line 177: Line 177:
 
Mr. Krabs: Now, I think we understand each other. Nobody eats until I get my millionth dollar back.<br>
 
Mr. Krabs: Now, I think we understand each other. Nobody eats until I get my millionth dollar back.<br>
  
Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob, can I have a word with you? Have you noticed that Mr. Krabs has gone completely insane?!<br>
+
Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob, can I have a word with you? Have you noticed that Mr. Krabs has gone (yelling) COMPLETELY INSANE?!<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': What do you mean?<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': What do you mean?<br>
Line 196: Line 196:
 
Mr. Krabs: So, you thought you’d skip out on old Krabs, did ya? Even after you promised to help me. I know what you’re  
 
Mr. Krabs: So, you thought you’d skip out on old Krabs, did ya? Even after you promised to help me. I know what you’re  
 
thinking. "It’s just a dump old dollar. Let’s just leave the old man. He won’t notice." (cries) Well, it’s not going down  
 
thinking. "It’s just a dump old dollar. Let’s just leave the old man. He won’t notice." (cries) Well, it’s not going down  
like that. There’s only one use for a backstabbing crew like you: (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs hanging his line over the boat.  
+
like that. There’s only one use for a backstabbing crew like you. (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs hanging his line over the boat.  
SpongeBob and Squidward are attached to the line) live bait.<br>
+
SpongeBob and Squidward are attached to the line) Live bait.<br>
  
 
Squidward: You’re crazy. If that clam didn’t come before, what makes you think he’ll come now?<br>
 
Squidward: You’re crazy. If that clam didn’t come before, what makes you think he’ll come now?<br>
Line 212: Line 212:
 
Closer. Almost there. (giant clam shows the dollar on its tongue) That’s it! (closes the doors to cause the music to stop.  
 
Closer. Almost there. (giant clam shows the dollar on its tongue) That’s it! (closes the doors to cause the music to stop.  
 
The giant clam stops in mid-air and Mr. Krabs jumps inside it to take the dollar) Aha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look, boys, I  
 
The giant clam stops in mid-air and Mr. Krabs jumps inside it to take the dollar) Aha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look, boys, I  
finally got it! (rubs his dollar on himself) I finally got me millionth dollar. (cabin doors open to play the ominous  
+
finally got it! (rubs his dollar on himself) I finally got me millionth dollar! (cabin doors open to play the ominous  
 
music again. The giant clam closes its mouth, with Mr. Krabs inside, and goes underwater. Cabin doors close as the  
 
music again. The giant clam closes its mouth, with Mr. Krabs inside, and goes underwater. Cabin doors close as the  
 
conductor takes a bow)<br>
 
conductor takes a bow)<br>
Line 218: Line 218:
 
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, poor Mr. Krabs. Gone forever out of our lives. Why couldn’t it have been me?!<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, poor Mr. Krabs. Gone forever out of our lives. Why couldn’t it have been me?!<br>
  
Squidward: Yes, why couldn’t it have been you?! (both cry)<br>
+
Squidward: Yes, why couldn’t it have been you? (both cry)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Why did he have to go like this?! Why?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Why did he have to go like this, why?<br>
  
Squidward: Why did he have to go like this and leave me tied to this idiot?! (both cry loudly)<br>
+
Squidward: Why did he have to go like this and leave me tied to this idiot? (both cry loudly)<br>
  
 
Mr. Krabs: Hello, boys!<br>
 
Mr. Krabs: Hello, boys!<br>
Line 228: Line 228:
 
SpongeBob & Squidward: Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs' head is above the water)<br>
 
SpongeBob & Squidward: Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs' head is above the water)<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Have you boys met... (holds his millionth dollar up) ...me millionth dollar  (chuckles)<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Have you boys met... (holds his millionth dollar up) ...me millionth dollar? (chuckles)<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': Wow, how did you get it back?<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': Wow, how did you get it back?<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: It wasn’t easy. Old Blue Lips is quite the fighter. So, eventually, we settled on a trade.<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: It wasn’t easy. Old Blue Lips is quite the fighter, so, eventually, we settled on a trade.<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': What did you give him? (Mr. Krabs jumps up on the boat, revealing himself as only having a head and an arm)<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': What did you give him? (Mr. Krabs jumps up on the boat, revealing himself as only having a head and an arm)<br>

Revision as of 01:48, 2 December 2012

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New Student Starfish UGH

Episode Article: Clams

Characters

Dialogue

Scooter: Uhh, what do you like better? The coral bits or the nacho oyster skins?

Squidward: I like neither. Can I take your order?

Scooter: What about the barnacle rings, are they any good?

Squidward: No. What will you have?

Scooter: Well, uhh, what’s your vote on the kelp...

Squidward: Sir, let’s just get this out of the way. I hate everything on the menu! Now what do you want?

SpongeBob: (pokes his head out from behind the kitchen window) Psst, try the coral bits.

Scooter: Uhh, I’ll try the coral bits.

Squidward: That will be one dollar. (rings up one dollar then a siren goes off)

Scooter: What’s going on?

Squidward: Something stupid, I’m sure. (alarm stops as a curtain opens up to show a real band in the background playing music. Mr. Krabs comes out from his office)

Mr. Krabs: Yippee! (kisses the customer and Squidward. Takes the dollar and rubs it all over himself) Whoo-ha! Whoo-ha!

Squidward: See? I told you.

SpongeBob: What’s wrong with Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: (runs over to the counter) Nothing, lad! Do you know what this is?

Squidward: A very dirty dollar?

Mr. Krabs: No, this is my one millionth dollar earned! Every crab’s goal in life is to make a million dollars, and now I got mine. Congratulations, sir, you have just given me my one millionth dollar!

Scooter: Ha, great. Uhh, what do I win?

Mr. Krabs: Nothing, now get out!

Scooter: Uhh, what?

Mr. Krabs: Get out! Everybody get out, you’re spoiling me moment! (pushes everyone out the door) Me millionth dollar.

SpongeBob: Congratulations, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Congratulate yourselves, lad! A captain’s nothing without his loyal crew. I mean, a crew like you comes around maybe once in a lifetime. And to reward you for making me millionth dollar, I’m taking you on a trip.

SpongeBob: Wow, a trip!

Squidward: I can’t believe it, Mr. Krabs. Where we going, Fancy Springs? (scene cuts to the three of them in a pool)

Mr. Krabs: No.

Squidward: Pamper Island? (scene cuts to the three of them laying on towels at a beach)

Mr. Krabs: Try again.

Squidward: Ooh, ooh, ooh, Bikini Bottom Folk Village? (scene cuts to the three of them in 18th century clothing)

Mr. Krabs: Better than that! (scene cuts to them wearing raincoats on a boat as Squidward's smile turns to a glare)

Squidward: Clam fishing? This is the reward we get for all our hard work? Fishing for stinky clams on a smelly old boat on a filthy lagoon? You call this fun?

Mr. Krabs: Aww, come on now, Squidward. Three fellas at sea with nothing to do but throw their lines in the water, catch a few clams then throw them back. Don’t you think that’s fun?

Squidward: No. (takes off his raincoat and sits on his chair) And to think I could be wearing a powdered wig right now.

SpongeBob: Hey Squidward, you want me to cast out over here so you can watch me?

Squidward: How about you cast out over there so I can ignore you?

SpongeBob: Ok! (SpongeBob casts his line behind him which catches on Squidward’s magazine. SpongeBob brins his line forward and casts it in the lagoon. SpongeBob casts Squidward's chair)

Squidward: Hey, watch where you're swinging that... (SpongeBob casts Squidward's shirt out in the lagoon) SpongeBob, be careful with... (SpongeBob casts Squidward's nose into the lagoon. Squidward screams then walks up to Mr. Krabs) Ok, I’ve had enough.

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Oh Squidward, you got to lighten up. (SpongeBob is still casting out items while Mr. Krabs talks to Squidward) Sure the lad’s a bit over eager, but you've got to learn to roll with the punches, go with the flow. And don’t bring anything on a boat that you ain’t prepared to lose! (laughs. SpongeBob casts Mr. Krabs millionth dollar into the lagoon) Me millionth dollar! SpongeBob, wait! SpongeBob, you hooked me millionth dollar on the back swing! Reel it in before I keelhaul ya. (music plays) Oh no. SpongeBob, quick, reel it in! Can’t you hear the music? That’s a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor. Every sailor knows that means death! Reel it in before it’s too late! Hurry, SpongeBob, the music’s getting faster! (SpongeBob reels it in as fast as he can. Mr. Krabs opens the doors to the orchestra) There you are ya stinkin' bilge rats. Stop playing that music! Stop it, please! I'm begging ya! Come on, honey, you can make it! Swim faster! Come to me, baby! Come on back! Hurry, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Here she comes. (Mr. Krabs begs, SpongeBob reels the dollar in) She made it!

Mr. Krabs: (holds up the dollar and cheers) For a second or two, I thought she was a goner! (ominous orchestra music plays again. A giant clam jumps up and takes Mr. Krabs dollar)

Squidward: So, some trip, eh, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, you’re never gonna believe it! A giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollar! (bawling) I lost me dollar and I’ll never get it back. Never, never, never, never, never...

SpongeBob: I’ve never seen Mr. Krabs so broken up. (Mr. Krabs is in pieces, crying)

Squidward: Oh, please, he's such a drama queen. C'mon, Mr. Krabs, drop the act. (Mr. Krabs is blubbering) Mr. Krabs, it's just a stupid dollar. (continues blubbering. Mr. Krabs pours tears into his mouth) For Pete's sake, Mr. Krabs, suck it up. (Mr. Krabs’ eyes fill up then leak out tears like water faucets) Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs is stil wailing) Ok, ok, Mr. Krabs! We’ll help you get your dollar back. (Mr. Krabs throws his thumb away that he was sucking on)

Mr. Krabs: You will? Great! Wait right here. (runs off to get some items. Comes back with a bunch of fishing gear on) Here’s where clam fishing gets serious. (scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is on top of the boat and SpongeBob and Squidward are on the lower deck) Ok, you boys man the fishing poles and I’ll keep me eyes peeled for Old Blue Lip.

SpongeBob: (salutes) Aye aye, captain!

Mr. Krabs: And remember, we don’t leave until we catch that clam and rescue me dollar. (Mr. Krabs scouts the area. Scene cuts to later where Mr. Krabs has a beard on from scouting for too long. Squidward and SpongeBob looks the same as Mr. Krabs)

Squidward: That’s it, I’m finished! We’ve been here for three days and haven’t gotten a nibble. This is hopeless!

SpongeBob: Yeah, and I’ve got to get home to feed Gary. (scene cuts to Gary chewing the couch at home)

Squidward: We’re gonna die out here just because a clam ate Mr. Krabs' stupid dollar. (takes a dollar out of his wallet) Well, if he wants his dollar back, I say we give it to him. Know what I mean? Huh? Huh? Huh?

SpongeBob: Oh, I get ya. (jabbers. Scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is still scouting the area)

SpongeBob & Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (Mr. Krabs steers his eyes toward the other two to see them waving a dollar) Look what we’ve got!

Mr. Krabs: (jumps down and gasps) Could it be? (takes the dollar) Me millionth dollar? (starts cheering again as well as SpongeBob and Squidward) Whoo-hoo! (stops dancing) Wait a minute. (rubs the dollar back and forth) This isn't me millionth dollar. (SpongeBob and Squidward look at each other) This is an ordinary dollar that’s been crumpled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon, and kissed with Coral Blue #2 Semi-Gloss Lipstick. (shows dollar bill just like described)

SpongeBob: Actually, it’s Coral Blue number t... (Squidward hits him with a fishing rod)

Mr. Krabs: I trusted you, and you gave me this? I can’t believe me own crew would betray me like this. (cries)

Squidward: No. Uh-uh. No, we will not be swayed by tears anymore.

Mr. Krabs: I see. Then I guess I have no choice but to offer a reward.

Squidward: You’re kidding?

SpongeBob: Woo! Is it another fishing trip?

Mr. Krabs: No, it’s this sandwich. (nails the sandwich to a pole)

Squidward: A sandwich? You expect me to break my back over a sandwich?

Mr. Krabs: Not a sandwich. (throws the other sandwiches into the water) The sandwich.

Squidward: Whatever. We’ve got plenty more to... (Mr. Krabs throws the refrigerator into the water) ...eat.

Mr. Krabs: Now, I think we understand each other. Nobody eats until I get my millionth dollar back.

Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob, can I have a word with you? Have you noticed that Mr. Krabs has gone (yelling) COMPLETELY INSANE?!

SpongeBob: What do you mean?

Squidward: Just look at him. (pointing to Mr. Krabs, who is dressed like he is at a funeral crying at a tombstone with the words 'R.I.P. Me Millionth Dollar' on it. He then hugs it)

SpongeBob: Squidward, he’s lost something near and dear to him. Haven’t you...

Squidward: Look again. (Mr. Krabs uses his eyes as a jump rope while giggling)

SpongeBob: You’re right. How do we get out of here?

Squidward: If we’re real quiet, we can sneak over to the lifeboat.

SpongeBob: Ok. (both scream over to the boat. They jump into it but then come back onto the boat tied up)

Mr. Krabs: So, you thought you’d skip out on old Krabs, did ya? Even after you promised to help me. I know what you’re thinking. "It’s just a dump old dollar. Let’s just leave the old man. He won’t notice." (cries) Well, it’s not going down like that. There’s only one use for a backstabbing crew like you. (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs hanging his line over the boat. SpongeBob and Squidward are attached to the line) Live bait.

Squidward: You’re crazy. If that clam didn’t come before, what makes you think he’ll come now?

Mr. Krabs: (dressed up as a conductor) Oh, he’ll come. (opens up the doors to the orchestra and begins to play the ominous music)

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, listen, I work with SpongeBob all day long, so I know what I’m talking about when I say...you are completely out of your mind! (Mr. Krabs cackles. The giant clam emerges above water coming closer to the two on the line) Get us out of here!

Mr. Krabs: Come on, fresh meat! (SpongeBob and Squidward scream as they try to wiggle back and forth to avoid the giant clam) Keep thrashing! He likes it! (both continue to scream and bounce up and down really fast) Come on, boy! Closer. Closer. Almost there. (giant clam shows the dollar on its tongue) That’s it! (closes the doors to cause the music to stop. The giant clam stops in mid-air and Mr. Krabs jumps inside it to take the dollar) Aha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look, boys, I finally got it! (rubs his dollar on himself) I finally got me millionth dollar! (cabin doors open to play the ominous music again. The giant clam closes its mouth, with Mr. Krabs inside, and goes underwater. Cabin doors close as the conductor takes a bow)

SpongeBob: Oh, poor Mr. Krabs. Gone forever out of our lives. Why couldn’t it have been me?!

Squidward: Yes, why couldn’t it have been you? (both cry)

SpongeBob: Why did he have to go like this, why?

Squidward: Why did he have to go like this and leave me tied to this idiot? (both cry loudly)

Mr. Krabs: Hello, boys!

SpongeBob & Squidward: Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs' head is above the water)

Mr. Krabs: Have you boys met... (holds his millionth dollar up) ...me millionth dollar? (chuckles)

SpongeBob: Wow, how did you get it back?

Mr. Krabs: It wasn’t easy. Old Blue Lips is quite the fighter, so, eventually, we settled on a trade.

SpongeBob: What did you give him? (Mr. Krabs jumps up on the boat, revealing himself as only having a head and an arm)

Mr. Krabs: Nothing important. (laughs)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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