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Contents |
Plot of Band Geeks (Episode)
Day One
Squidward is practicing his clarinet peacefully, and a doctor comes in, thinking Squidward has a sick animal. Squidward slams the door, but receives a call. He picks up the telephone, and it's Squilliam Fancyson from band class! He claims to suppose to play at the "Bubble Bowl", but cannot make it, and asks Squidward and his "band" to perform. Squidward, determined to play well, tries to get a band. Various people read the advertisements.
At 8:35, Squidward is driving over to the band rehearsal building, angry that the music rental clerk made him late. He comes in and plays six notes on his clarinet. The brass and woodwind repeat, however, the percussion section blow on their drumsticks and they hit Squidward.
Day Two
Squidward's band is out marching on day two. Squidward orders the band almost perfectly, until he instructs the flag twirlers to "spin those flags". They spin the flags so quickly that they fly up like propellers into a blimp, causing their death. One of the trumpeters played "Taps", the rest of the band put their hands on their hearts, and Squidward curls up on the ground.
Day Three
Squidward asks to see Plankton's harmonica solo, but it doesn't work very well because Plankton is extremely tired half way!
Day Four
Squidward instructs the band to play as loudly as they can, but the great force of the sound waves blow Squidward's physical features back. He then instructs them to play softly, but a huge fight breaks out. Eventually, band class is over. Squidward appears at the doors as the players leave, telling them not to come to the Bubble Bowl. SpongeBob, horrified at how the band members crushed Squidward's dream, takes over conducting the band.
Concert
Squidward finds Squilliam Fancyson at the concert, which is in the Bubble Bowl in the center of a human football oval, who apparently only came to see Squidward fail, like always. However, the band plays Sweet Victory with lead singer SpongeBob (David Glen Eisley) and turns out to be a great success! Squilliam suffers a heart attack and is carried away. Squidward is shown jumping up in happiness, and the screen fades to end the episode.
Plot of Atlantis SquarePantis (Episode)
SpongeBob and Patrick are in Jellyfish Fields blowing bubbles. Patrick tries to take pictures of the bubbles, but cannot as the camera is too slow. Patrick blames the camera and stomps on it, but SpongeBob says it is not the camera's fault, then accidentally blows a bubble and gets them both stuck inside it. SpongeBob and Patrick start screaming for help, unaware that the bubble has carried them into a cave, miles from Bikini Bottom. The bubble bursts on what appears to be half of the Atlantean Amulet. SpongeBob notices the letters "ANTIS" on the side. Patrick concludes that the amulet probably belonged to SpongeBob's ancestors, thinking their last name may have been "SquarePantis." They travel to the museum to find out what it is.
Later, Squidward, who had been visiting the museum at the time, accuses SpongeBob and Patrick of stealing the Atlantian Amulet as he saw the half SpongeBob was holding. He then realizes, as he sees that the amulet is still on its platform, that SpongeBob must have found the missing half, which had been lost for eons. Sandy, who was at the museum as well, says that when the two pieces are joined together, the path to Atlantis is revealed. As Squidward discusses that history of Atlantis, Mr. Krabs joins them, after performing a failed scam earlier, thus bringing the group together. Squidward joins the two halves, as they are all very eager to see Atlantis.
A van then falls from the sky, which is the key to Atlantis. However, the automated computer aboard says that "song fuel" is required in order for them to move. As everyone sings to make the bus move, they do not realize Plankton is on the bus, wanting to use Atlantis's superior weapons to become emperor of the city. Everybody sings about what they want to see in Atlantis, but this is ruined by Patrick, when he interrupts Squidward's musical number. They crash land in Atlantis on a topiary garden, and the king, Lord Royal Highness, gives them a tour of the Atlantian Empire. As they pass the door to the weapons arsenal, Plankton sneaks in and marvels at the hundreds of weapons. As they travel into the treasure, science, and art rooms, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and Squidward respectively decide they want to stay in Atlantis as one room had more than anything they could ever get in Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob and Patrick, however, only wished to see the world's oldest bubble, which was kept safe in a glass container. Lord Royal Highness leaves them alone in the room so that he could prepare dinner for them. However, disaster strikes when Patrick takes a picture of the bubble and it pops. At dinner, SpongeBob and Patrick, terrified as to what will happen when Lord Royal Highness finds out, admit they popped the bubble, ready to receive their punishment.
Lord Royal Highness, on the other hand, is not mad and says that the bubble they popped was only a tourist attraction. He shows them the real deal, and Patrick takes a picture, thus popping the real bubble. The group is chased by the furious guards and LRH, when Plankton intervenes and tries to destroy them with a tank he found, which really only fires ice cream. LRH picks up Plankton, saying that a "talking spec" would make a much better replacement for the bubble. The group then goes back home and everyone except SpongeBob is crying; they want to stay in Atlantis.
The Camping Episode (Episode) Transcript
Squidward's House
Squidward: Ah, finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just any old weekend. This is the weekend that SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. (gestures at "Dance Quarterly" calendar at a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick on the calendar) Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back?
SpongeBob: (in Squidward's thought bubble) Patrick, I'm scared!
Squidward: Ho-ho, that would be great! (gets in bed) You've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no… (imitates SpongeBob's laugh. When he stops, he can hear SpongeBob's laughter) What the…?!
Conch Street
Squidward(goes outside and sees SpongeBob and Patrick in a tent in his backyard) SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping?
SpongeBob: We are camping.
Squidward: SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house.
SpongeBob: Aww, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here, pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature. You wanna join us?
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: Ok. Have fun inside. (Squidward leaves then comes back)
Squidward: What do you mean, "have fun inside"?
SpongeBob: Just…have fun inside. See you tomorrow.
Squidward: Oh. Bye. (leaves then comes back again) You little sneak! I see what you're doing!
SpongeBob: What?
Squidward: Don't think I can't see what you're doing!
SpongeBob: What?
Squidward: You're saying I can't take it!
SpongeBob: But all I…
Squidward: AH! You're saying I'm soft! You think your little "have fun inside" challenge is gonna make me come camping with you, but that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! There's no way I'm gonna sit out here all night with you two losers! So, get used to it! (leaves)
SpongeBob: Ok. Have fun inside. (Squidward comes back and yells at them)
Squidward: That's it! I'm in. I'll show you camping! (runs inside his house)
SpongeBob: (to Patrick) Squidward's gonna come camping with us! (both giggle while Squidward comes back with a big backpack on)
Squidward: Now you'll see how a real… (falls forward into the sand from the heavy backpack) ...outdoorsman does it! (crawls out from under the backpack and gets out a cylinder looking bag) Here we are-- my remote-controlled, self-assembling tent. Watch and learn. (SpongeBob takes out binoculars while Patrick gets out a notepad and a pair glasses. Squidward throws the bag in the air then gets out the remote and pushes the button. The bag explodes and the tent, sticks, and rope fall on the ground)
SpongeBob: That was great, Squidward! But how do you get inside?
Patrick: Yeah, it's all crushy-looking.
Squidward: It isn't put up yet, you idiots. (starts to mess with his tent but tears it) Huh?
SpongeBob: Customization.
Patrick: Genius!
Squidward (beating the tent with a wooden stake) bah! bah! bah!
SpongeBob: He's tenderizing the ground!
Patrick: Of course! (Squidward gets tangled in the rope)
SpongeBob: Write that down!! write that down!! (Patrick is playing tic-tac-toe instead of writing notes. Squidward kicks the pile of things and it magically becomes a tent)
Squidward: Huh? Voilá. (the tent collapses so Squidward rolls it up out of the way and brings back a sleeping bag) But what could compare to just lying out under the stars? (SpongeBob and Patrick applaud) Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are gonna stew up some twigs and rocks, right?
SpongeBob: Nope, we've got something even better-- Marshmallows. (takes out a bag of marshmallows and eats one) Mmm-mm. Just like the astronauts eat. (Patrick has a fishbowl over his head and he imitates static)
Patrick: Patrick to SpongeBob. Patrick to SpongeBob. Do you read me? Over. (SpongeBob has a fishbowl over his head and imitates static)
SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Patrick. I read you. Over.
Patrick: (imitates static) Patrick to SpongeBob. I like going (imitates static) Over.
SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick. (imitates static) Me too. (both imitate static back and forth for a bit)
SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick, help yourself. Over.
Patrick: (grabs a marshmallow) Yummy! (takes the marshmallow and jams it in his mouth, through the fishbowl, breaking it) Patrick to SpongeBob. The deliciousness has landed!
Squidward: Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows. I gonna have a can of Swedish Barnacle Balls.... (holds up the can in his hand) just as soon as I can get my can opener.
SpongeBob: But Squidward, didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here?
Squidward: Why would I bother? We're ten feet from my house.
SpongeBob: But this is the wilderness. It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit.
Patrick: Pretty weenie!
Squidward: All right. All right. Gimme a marshmallow. (Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face. Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face again. After 2 shots, Squidward ducks a third shot and laughs. The marshmallow flies back into Squidward's head) Ok. Besides spitting molten food stuffs at me, what else do you do for fun?
SpongeBob: Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song.
Music: "The Campfire Song Song"
I call this one "The Campfire Song Song".
Let's gather 'round the campfire And sing our campfire song Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong But it'll help if you just sing along..... Bum! bum! bum!
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong But it'll help if you just sing along....
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song Patrick! SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E… Squidward! (silence) Good!
It'll help…it'll help… If you just sing along! Oh yeah!
SpongeBob: Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing?
Squidward: No! This is relaxing. (holds up his clarinet and plays "Michael, Row The Board Ashore")
SpongeBob: Oh no! I'll save you, Squidward! (picks up a marshmallow and uses a slingshot to shoot in the clarinet and into Squidward's throat) Squidward, are you all right? That's it, chew, chew, and swallow. There, better?
Squidward: Better?! I was fine until you lodged that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!
SpongeBob: But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here in the wilderness! It might attract…(whispers)a sea bear.
Squidward: A sea bear? You mean like the ones that DON'T EXIST?!
SpongeBob: What are you saying?
Squidward: There's no such thing! That's just a myth!
SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward, sea bears are all too real! It says so in the Bikini Bottom Inquirer! (holds up the magazine)
Squidward: (reads cover) "I Married a Sea Bear?"
Patrick: Yeah, and Fake Science Monthly! (holds up the magazine)
Squidward: (reads cover) "Sea Bears and Fairy Tales Are Real?" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
Patrick: Well, maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb!
SpongeBob: Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin…
Squidward: You're right! I should be more careful. In fact, why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away?
SpongeBob: Ok, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet.
Squidward: Okay. Then what?
Spongebob: Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast.
Patrick: Flashlights are their natural prey.
Squidward: You're kidding.
SpongeBob: Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge.
Patrick: Yeah.
Squidward: Go on.
SpongeBob: Don't ever eat cheese.
Squidward: Sliced or cubed? (SpongeBob & Patrick whisper to each other)
SpongeBob: Cubed. Sliced is fine.
Squidward: Yeah, yeah, and?
SpongeBob: Never wear a sombrero…
Patrick: …in a goofy fashion!
SpongeBob: Or clown shoes.
Patrick: Or a hoop skirt.
SpongeBob: And never…
Patrick: Ever…
SpongeBob: Ever…
Patrick: Duh!
SpongeBob & Patrick: screech like a chimpanzee!
Squidward: Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off. (Spongebob and Patrick are holding each other in terror)
SpongeBob & Patrick: They're horrible!
Squidward: And… and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger!
SpongeBob & Patrick: Why?
Squidward: I don't know… (runs off and comes back wearing all the items mentioned from before) Just a feeling!
SpongeBob: No.
Squidward: Yes.
SpongeBob: No! (Squidward begins making monkey & chimp noises)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Squidward, please don't! (Squidward continues to do whatever it takes to get a sea bear's attention)
Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we gonna do? A sea bear's sure to come and eat us!
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an anti-sea-bear circle in the dirt. (grabs a stick and draws a circle around both of them)
Patrick: Good thinking! All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack.
Squidward: (laughs) You guys are so gullible! See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear and nothing happened! If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up?
SpongeBob: Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion.
Squidward: Oh, pfft, sorry! How silly of me! You mean like this? (Squidward tilts his sombrero to the right then laughs. As he is laughing, a hand turns the sombrero upside-down)
SpongeBob: No, like that. (camera zooms out to reveal a sea bear growling. Squidward screams and runs but the sea bear attacks him)
SpongeBob: Squidward, are you okay? (Squidward is bruised and beaten)
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle before he comes back.
Patrick: Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once.
Squidward: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life!
SpongeBob & Patrick: No! (sea bear mauls Squidward)
SpongeBob: Don't run! Sea bears hate that.
Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then.
SpongeBob & Patrick: No! (sea bear comes back and mauls Squidward again)
SpongeBob: They hate limping more than running!
Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have… (sea bear comes back and mauls Squidward again)
SpongeBob: I should have warned you about crawling. (sea bear comes back and mauls Squidward again)
Squidward: What happened that time?
SpongeBob: I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.
Patrick: Pretend to be somebody else.
SpongeBob: Here, draw a circle. (throws Squidward a stick)
Squidward: Ok. (sea bear comes back and mauls Squidward again)
SpongeBob: That was an oval! It has to be a circle! (Squidward runs and sits on top of SpongeBob, inside the circle)
Squidward: Move over! (sea bear sees the circle, points at Squidward, then leaves) Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life.
SpongeBob: Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea rhinoceros.
Squidward: What attracts them?
Patrick: The sound of a sea bear attack. (a sea rhinoceros is snorting beside them)
SpongeBob: Heh. Good thing we're all wearing our anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments. Right, Squidward?
Squidward: YEAH?
Plot of Sing a Song of Patrick
The Episode starts with Patrick, reading a comic book, then after reading it he ate it.
SpongeBob then comes, carrying tones of comic books. Patrick then burps one of the pages of the comic book he was reading. He asked SpongeBob to read it for him. The note tells the comic book readers, they'll make their poem into a hit song on the radio, just send in $100. Patrick does not have $100, and then suddenly SpongeBob's wallet fell out. Inside SpongeBob's wallet is a hundred dollars. Patrick took his money and SpongeBob could not pay for the comic books.
SpongeBob and Patrick were inside SpongeBob's house. Patrick tells SpongeBob to do not disturb him while he is working on his poem and then he left. SpongeBob then heard someone is on the door. Patrick opened the door with SpongeBob behind it. Patrick needs a place and things he need for his poem. Patrick unfortunately could not make a poem. Patrick needed to use his brain. Patrick used his brain to think, and he made a poem, and stink up the whole room and a smell so strong, Squidward can smell it from his house. Patrick then mailed his poem.
The next day at Bigshot Records, the band received his poem, and it smells so bad. The band played until it killed them. The fish gave Patrick’s song to Patrick. They listen to the song, titled "I Wrote This" and they loved it. SpongeBob and Patrick decided to put it on the radio. They tried to give the song to them but they refuse to air it on the radio. SpongeBob and Patrick think of other ways to get Patrick song on the radio. They decided to climb up the radio antenia and put the record on top of it. They then played the record and everyone heard it and Bikini Bottom gone crazy. The citizens started a riot and went straight to the radio tower. The angry mob asked who was responsible for the horrible song on the radio. The angry mob then chased SpongeBob and Patrick and stopped when they played a new song called "ughhhh". The angry mob then quotes: At least it got the song out of our head. Patrick remembered his song then played it again. Patrick’s coach then appeared and quotes: Looks like you need another lesson. They then threw dodge balls at SpongeBob and Patrick.
Songs in Episode:
- I Wrote This
- A Poem (Song)
- Ughhhh
Third SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Show) Movie
http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg82/beatlesnicole/Who-Bob-What-Pants-resized.jpg
SpongeBob loses his memory and leaves Bikini Bottom. After all of this, he ends up as the mayor of Kelp City. Sandy, Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs find him, but it is hard for him to choose whether to go back to Bikini Bottom with "strangers" or stay in Kelp City where he is a hero to the citizens.
==Plot of Driven to Tears (Episode)==
SpongeBob and Patrick are going to Mrs. Puff's Boating School. SpongeBob is once again going to take his driving test, but, despite encouragement from Patrick, he fails miserably. Then Patrick decides to take the driving test, believing that Mrs. Puff was actually manipulating SpongeBob’s tests. He comes up to SpongeBob and says that he passed and got a driver's license. SpongeBob gets disappointed, and gets super mad when people start treating Patrick like a celebrity. He even gets his own hot rod, something which makes SpongeBob envious. SpongeBob gets angrier because Patrick's, boat's engine keeps him up at night, Patrick has to drive SpongeBob to work, and Patrick is talking all the time about driving. Mr. Krabs sets up a drive-thru window for Patrick, and even SpongeBob's own parents are talking more about Patrick than himself. However, when Patrick starts breaking some traffic laws, SpongeBob finally bursts and rips up Patrick's license, the police chase Patrick and SpongeBob. Patrick has done some time in the slammer for not having his driver's license. However, SpongeBob begs to go in his place, and his request was granted. When he gets out of jail, SpongeBob and Patrick realize what Patrick's position did to their friendship, and make up. SpongeBob makes a plate for Patrick's car, but Patrick threw it out because the needle was on E, for end he thought (Patrick ran out of gas in his car).
Idiot Box (Episode) Transcript
SpongeBob: See anything yet, Patrick?
Patrick: I need my glasses. (puts 2 glasses of water on his eyes) Hmmm, it’s the mail truck!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Our package! (both start dancing & hopping)
Squidward: I didn’t realize it was Happy Hopping Moron Day.
MailMan: SpongeBob SquarePants?
SpongeBob: That’s me! (throws a very big box next to SpongeBob & Patrick)
Squidward: That’s a big box.
SpongeBob: Thank you. (still dancing & hopping)
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, when do we stop hopping?
SpongeBob: 30 more seconds, Patrick.
Squidward: He probably ordered a lifetime supply of bubble soap. (SpongeBob & Patrick pull out a big/screen TV) Huh? A brand-
new television?
SpongeBob: Easy…easy…(throw the TV onto a trash-can)
Squidward: Just when I thought they couldn’t get any stupider. Let me get this straight, you two ordered a giant screen
television just so you could play in the box?
SpongeBob: Pretty smart, huh?
Patrick: I thought it wouldn’t work.
Squidward: Uh-huh, that’s quite a plan there. Oh, but wait, there was something else I wanted to ask you two. What was it?
Oh, yeah, yeah. DON’T YOU TWO HAVE ANY BRAINS?!
SpongeBob: Squidward, we don’t need television. Not as long as we have our… (makes a rainbow with his hands) …
imagination.
Squidward: Wow, I never thought of it that way. That’s really something. Can I have your TV?
SpongeBob: With… (makes a rainbow with his hands) …imagination, I can be anything I want! A pirate! Arr! A football player! Hutt!
Patrick: A starfish!
Squidward: Patrick, you’re already a starfish.
Patrick: See, Squidward? It works! You try!
Squidward: Ok, let’s see. I’m imaging myself watching TV (points to the one on the trash-can) And there it is! Can I have
it, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Sure, Squidward.
Squidward: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! (Squidward pushes TV in his tiki)
SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward, but if you change your mind, we’ll be in this box!
Patrick: Let’s play Mountain Climbing Adventure!
SpongeBob: Let’s go for it! Gloves!
Patrick: Check.
SpongeBob: Hats!
Patrick: Check.
SpongeBob: Underwear!
Patrick: Uh… check!
SpongeBob: Ok, Patrick climb up there and secure this rope.
Patrick: You got it! (you can hear noises coming from the box)
SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, you’re going too high!
Squidward: I hope they put some air holes in that box.
SpongeBob: Take it easy, Patrick, you’ve got to acclimate!
Patrick: I’ll be easy when I’m dead! I’m shaking hands with Neptune! Woo! Excelsior!
Squidward: Now where’s that remote?
Patrick: I am the lizard king! Woo!
SpongeBob: Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! I think we should keep our voices down! We might start an avalanche!
Patrick: What?
SpongeBob: I said, I think we should keep our voices down in case of avalanches!
Patrick: What should we keep down?
Squidward: Morons.
SpongeBob: Our voices!!
Squidward: WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?! (Squidward kicks box causing an avalanche making SpongeBob & Patrick screaming
& falling) SpongeBob? (causes a second avalanche)
Patrick: Hold me.
SpongeBob: Hang in there buddy, the chopper is on the way!
Patrick: SpongeBob! My legs are frozen solid! You’re going to have to cut them off with a saw!
SpongeBob: No Patrick, I can’t do that!
Patrick: Why not?
SpongeBob: Because I already cut off my own arms!
Patrick: No!!
Squidward: What? How were you two making that noise?
SpongeBob: (laughs) What noise, Squidward?
Patrick: We could only hear the sound of our laughter.
Squidward: Yes! But those sound effects: the avalanche, the, the, the…
Patrick: Don’t forget the second avalanche.
Squidward: Forget it. I don’t know why I’m wasting my time out here when I could be watching my brand new television.
(helicopter sounds)
Man Inside Box: Attention climbers, please hold on! The saws are on the way! (Squidward opens box)
Squidward: How are you two doing that?
SpongeBob: First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet…
Squidward: The noises, how are you two making those noises?
Patrick: That’s easy. All you need is a box.
SpongeBob: And…(makes a rainbow with his hands)…imagination.
Squidward: Are you trying to say that I have no imagination? I have more imagination…(tries to make a rainbow with his
hands but fails)…in one tentacle than you two have in your whole bodies.
Patrick: That’s good. Now all you need is a box. (closes the box as Squidward walks back to his house)
Squidward: I’ll show them! (looks for another box) There’s got to be one in here! (finds a small, round green box) This hat
box should do nicely. (pulls out a sombrero) Why haven’t I worn this yet? (gets in the box he is too big for and just sits
there staring at his watch. Kicks box after he gets mad)
PoliceMan: Attention! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!
Squidward: What do they want with me? What did I do? I must have violated some new box kicking law! (walks out of house
with the green box) Look officers, everything’s ok. I won’t do it again!
SpongeBob: You’ll never take me alive, coppers!
Man: No, Johnny! Don’t do it! (Squidward kicks the green box so SpongeBob & Patrick take it into theirs)
Patrick: Whoopee! Another box!
Squidward: I got to try to relax. Perhaps I can drown out their childish games with a little TV. (turns on TV to see a box
conveyer belt channel)
Host: It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of assembly. (changes channel to see a professor talk about a box
equation)
Physicist: The equation is illustrated here by this box. (changes channel to a soap opera)
Man: I couldn’t afford a present this year, so I got you this box. (both hold up boxes)
Woman: That’s what I got you!
Squidward: Isn’t there anything on that isn’t about boxes? (changes channel)
Host: And welcome back to Championship Boxing.
Squidward: Heh-heh, I guess this is ok. I mean, it’s not really about boxes. (two cardboard boxes are going at each other)
I give up.
Man: 3…2…1…blast off!
Squidward: How are they doing that? That was the most realistic space launch I ever heard! There must be an explanation.
Think, Squidward, think! (imagines of a tape recorder they have and playing real effects)
SpongeBob: Squidward's such a jerk. (both laugh)
Squidward: Laugh at me, will they? (opens box) All right, where is it?
Patrick: (comes out of Squidward’s green box) Here I am!
SpongeBob: Where’s what, Squidward?
Squidward: Don’t "Where’s what, Squidward?" me! Where’s the tape recorder?
SpongeBob: We don’t have a tape recorder, Squidward!
Squidward: Don’t "We don’t have a tape recorder, Squidward" me!
SpongeBob: But we don’t!
Patrick: We have a tape recorder box.
Squidward: All right, make way you two, I’m coming in. (gets into box)
SpongeBob: Welcome aboard, Squidward! You’ve just set sail on the S.S…(makes a rainbow with his hands) …Imagination. Where our only destination is fantastic adventure! Where do you want to go first?
Squidward: Don’t mind me, I’m just here to observe.
SpongeBob: Squidward, don’t you see? Waiting and watching? That’s not what the box is all about! It’s all about…(makes a
rainbow with his hands)…imagination.
Squidward: All right, fine! Take me to Robot Pirate Island! I want to arm wrestle with cowboys on the moon! Just do it so I
can get back and watch TV!
SpongeBob: Ok, Squidward! Robot Pirate Island it is! (SpongeBob and Patrick close their eyes and make pirate and robot
noises)
Squidward: Why won’t this thing turn on? All right, fine. If you don’t want to show me, I don’t care! I’ve got better
things to do than pace the floor wondering how you two work this thing. How do those two work that thing? There’s got to be
a secret button or a switch or something! I mean, listen to that! (hears noises from box) That sounds like Robot Pirate
Island! Think, Squidward, think! I got it! When those two go to bed, I’ll sneak in there and find that button. I’ll wait
all night if I have to!
Patrick: (both come out of box) I need sleep to refuel my imagination tanks!
SpongeBob: I still can’t believe those pirates beat all those robots.
Patrick: See you in the morning.
SpongeBob: Good-night, Patrick. (Squidward sneaks out to get into the box)
Squidward: (sees a piece of paper on the wall) Hello, what’s this? ("This plaque is to commemorate the brave pirates who gave their lives to keep this box safe from the Robot Menace. Lest we forget…") (tears paper) I’ve got to find that button quick! (looks around box) It’s got to be around here somewhere. I don’t see anything! It’s just an empty box! Maybe it really was their imagination. Oh…get yourself together, Squidward! I mean, do I really believe that if I sit here and pretend to drive a race car that I’m suddenly going to start hearing noises? (steps on the imaginary gas pedal and hears the actual noise) What the…? (Squidward turns the imaginary key) It actually works! I can’t believe it! Oh boy! This beats
TV by a long shot! This is the most fun I’ve ever had!
SpongeBob: Listen to that, Gary. Squidward finally made the box work after all. That is so great.
Squidward: Vroom! Only two more laps to the finish line! (garbage truck dumps out the trash) I’m in the lead! Out of my
way! I’m almost there! Victory is mine! (box slides down a trash pile until it hits something sending Squidward into a
cherry pie)
The next morning…
SpongeBob: Hey, our box is gone!
Patrick: Oh well.
SpongeBob: I know! Let’s go see Squidward!
Patrick: I hope he’s not too down in the dumps today. (music is like a down noise)
Plot of Club SpongeBob (Episode)
Squidward appears from his house to take a ride on his bike to work. SpongeBob and Patrick are in a beanstalk tree house speaking in code about Squidward going to work and can be heard giggling. Squidward rides over to them, and begins to mock their secret language, but SpongeBob says that they cannot tell him about the secret language because he is not a member of the club. Squidward asks, What does it take to be a member, besides being a moron? SpongeBob tells Squidward that he could not even get into the club if he tried. Squidward says that he happens to be a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom. Patrick says that Squidward will definitely not fit in. Squidward says that they should be begging him to join the club and as such begins to climb the beanstalk. He gets inside the club only to find that the room is very small, and that is the type of fitting in SpongeBob and Patrick was referring to. He is then told that they have been stuck in the club for three days. SpongeBob and Patrick decide to initiate Squidward anyhow, and sing him the welcome song.
Squidward gets annoyed and tries to get out of the club by pulling on a beanstalk branch, causing the whole tree house to go flying into the air, landing in a kelp forest, presumably in the middle of nowhere. As it is flying through the air, a couple has seen the club house, the male fish says to the female make a wish honey as the tree house flies overhead.
The boys emerge from the tree house. Patrick and SpongeBob are excited because of the ride, but Squidward is frantically pacing and screaming about the fact that he is not lost with SpongeBob and Patrick. He states, Why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why?
Squidward says that this is the end, but SpongeBob tries to reassure him by saying that they will be fine if they stick together and that they are fine because they have the magic conch shell. Patrick tells SpongeBob to ask it something, so he pulls the cord on the shell while asking if he will ever get married, to which the conch replies maybe someday.
Squidward thinks the idea is absurd, and that it is just a stupid toy. The boys are angered by Squidward’s comment, and SpongeBob asks the shell what they must do to be rescued. Nothing. is the reply, after which Patrick and SpongeBob proceed to sit down with blank looks on their faces literally, doing nothing. Squidward abandons them after mocking them again…He finds himself lost in the forest, until he sees a light at the end of the kelp tunnel. After running towards it, he ends up right where he began, which means that if he had been running in a straight line as was alluded to, that he would have had to run all the way around the world.
This leads to Squidward setting up a semi-camp, starting a fire and trying to grill a bug on a frying pan. Where he got the pan is not specified. He continues to mock the two of them for listening to the conch by saying as if the answers to all your problems will fall right out of the sky.
Cue a Picnic Supply Inc. plane falling out of the sky that must drop the load; containing a pre-assembled picnic table and umbrella, tent, and a very large supply of various foods.
Praise the magic conch! SpongeBob and Patrick cry as they immediately begin to dig into all the food. Suddenly Squidward has a serious five o’clock shadow and looks like he is starving to death, unlike SpongeBob and Patrick, who look completely normal. He begs them for food, but SpongeBob says that he should ask the Magic Conch what he should eat. The conch is apparently mad at Squidward for his prior remarks and tells him he cannot have anything to eat. After many tries, his head starts to morph, and grow red in anger.
Suddenly, a park ranger appears. He sees the boys’ conch and lets everyone know he is a club member. He asks the conch what they should do now, to which the reply is Nothing… The three of them flop down into the blank look once again; Squidward weakly joins them and says O hail the magic conch!
