Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/Part 2

Dialogue

Inside the Krusty Krab 2

(Mr. Krabs is changing the price of the Krabby Patty)

Squidward: A hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?

Mr. Krabs: With cheese, Mr. Squidward, with cheese.

(Neptune comes into the Krusty Krab)

Neptune: (To the customers) Greeting, subjects. I seek the one known as Eugene Krabs. May he present himself to me at once.

Mr. Krabs: I'm Eugene Krabs, Your Highness. Would you like to order something?

Neptune: Nay! I'm on to you, Krabs! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny. For, clever as you are, you left one ****ing piece of evidence at the scene of the crime. (Holds up a piece of paper and shows it to Krabs)

Mr. Krabs: I stole your crown. Signed, Eugene Krabs?! (Eyes widen)

Neptune: Relinquish the royal crown to me at once.

Mr. Krabs: But... But this is crazy! I didn't do it.

The Phone: (Mr. Krabs' voice) Ahoy, this is Eugene Krabs. Leave a message.

Clay: Hi, Mr. Krabs. This is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to. Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. I sold it to a guy in Shell City, and I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. Which is now in Shell City. Goodbye.

Mr. Krabs: Don't you just hate wrong numbers?

Neptune: My crown is in the forbidden Shell City?!

Plankton: Plan Z. I love Plan Z.

King Neptune: Prepare to burn, Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Wait, Neptune. Please, I'm begging you, I ain't a crook. Ask anyone, they'll vouch for me.

King Neptune:Very well, then. Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fishmeal,who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob looking all drunk) I've got something to say about Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy, you've come just in time. Please, tell King Neptune all about me.

SpongeBob: I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always though the was a great boss.

Mr. Krabs: You see? A great boss.

SpongeBob: I now realize that he's a great big jerk! I deserve that manager's job! But you didn't give it to me, because you say I'm a kid. Well, I am 100-percent man! And this man has got something to say to you. There, I think I made my point.

King Neptune:' Anyone else? No? Well, then. (Fires at Mr. Krabs)

Mr. Krabs: Me pants are on fire! Me underwear's on fire! I'm on fire!

King Neptune:' And now, Eugene Krabs, you will...

SpongeBob:Wait! I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth killing Mr. Krabs over.

King Neptune: Quiet, fool! Mr. Krabs stole my crown, and now it's in Shell City. That's why he must die.

SpongeBob: Does it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?

King Neptune: You don't understand. My crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And between you and me...my hair is thinning a bit.

SpongeBob: Oh, Your Highness, I'm sure it's not that notice...bald...bald...

(Everybody keeps on saying: bald...bald...bald)

Fred: My eyes!

King Neptune:All right, all right.

SpongeBob: King Neptune, sir? Would you spare Mr. Krabs' life if I went to get your crown back?

King Neptune: You, go to Shell City? No one who's gone to Shell City has ever returned. What makes you think you could? You're just a kid.

SpongeBob:But I'm not a kid. I can do it.

King Neptune: Run along, I have a crab to cook.

SpongeBob: No! I won't let you.

King Neptune: Very well, then. I'll have to fry you both!

Mindy: Daddy, stop it. Can't you get through one day without executing someone?

King Neptune: Mindy, I told you to stay in the carriage.

Mindy: Where's your love and compassion? (Holds SpongeBob) Look at this little guy. He's willing to risk his life to find your crown and save his boss.

King Neptune: But, daughter, I...

Mindy: Please, Father? At least let him try. What have you got to lose? Might I remind you of your special problem?

(Everybody keeps on saying: bald...bald...bald)

Fred:' My eyes!

King Neptune: All right. Very well, Mindy. I'll give him a chance. But when your little champion fails to return, I get to splatter this crab all over the walls. And as for you, be back here with my crown in exactly ten days. (Patrick pops up)

Patrick:He can do it in nine!

King Neptune: Eight!

Patrick: Seven!

King Neptune: Six!...(SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs stopped Patrick from talking) Six it is, then.

Patrick: Fi---ve...(quietly)

SpongeBob: Patrick, shhh...

King Neptune: Until then, the crab shall remain frozen where he now stands.

Mr. Krabs: No, wait. I'm begging you.

Squidward: Who turned on the AC? (gasps) Mr. Krabs! Oh, no, this is terrible. Who's gonna sign my paycheck?

King Neptune: Come along, Mindy.

Mindy: Listen, you guys, the road to Shell City is really dangerous.

Mindy: There's crooks, killers and monsters everywhere. And what's worse, there's a giant Cyclops (she imitates the Cyclops stomping) who guards the outskirts of the city and preys on innocent sea creatures. Don't let him catch you, because if he does, he'll take you back to his lair, and you'll never be seen again.

Patrick: She's purty, SpongeBob. (While Mindy is explaining, Patrick is staring at her)

Mindy:Here, take this.

SpongeBob: What's in here? (Opens bag and wind was released)

Mindy: It's a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my father.

Patrick: (To Mindy) You're hot.

Mindy: Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds and you'll be blown back home.

Neptune: Mindy!

Mindy: I'm coming. Good luck, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Wait. How did you know my name?

Mindy: Oh, I'm gonna be queen of the sea one day. I've learned the names of all the sea creatures.

Patrick: What's my name?

Mindy: That's easy. You're Patrick Star. (Patrick blushes from head to toe)

Neptune: Mindy! I gotta go. I believe in you guys.

SpongeBob: Thanks, Mindy. (Now to Mr. Krabs) Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. Patrick, Squidward and I...

Squidward: Pass. (He walks out the door, and leaves his hat behind)

SpongeBob: Patrick and I...

Patrick: Hi.

SpongeBob: ....are gonna get that crown back and save you from Neptune's wrath. You've got nothing to worry about. Your life is in our hands. (Mr. Krabs turns his eyes and looks at them. They are drooling, and look very stupid) Patrick, let's go get that crown.

---

Inside SpongeBob's House

SpongeBob: Feast your eyes, Patrick.

Patrick: What is it?

SpongeBob:The Patty Wagon. Mr. Krabs uses it for promotional reasons. Let me show you some of its features. Sesame-seed finish, steel-belted pickles, grilled-leather interior. And under the hood, a fuel-injected french-fryer with dual overhead grease traps.

Patrick: Wow!

SpongeBob: Yeah, wow!

Patrick: Hey, I thought you didn't have a driver's license.

SpongeBob: You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Shell City, here we come!

---

Inside the Krusty Krab 2

Plankton: Ding-a-ling. Hey there, old buddy. Freeze. One secret formula to go, please. No, no, don't trouble yourself. I'll get it. Well, I'd like to hang around, but I've got Krabby Patties to make...over at the Chum Bucket. Plan Z, I love you. (Mr. Krabs tear fell)

---

SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah
You're a Goofy Goober, yeah
We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah
Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah

SpongeBob: Fill her up, please.

Fish: What'll it be, fellas, mustard or ketchup?

Patrick: Are they laughing at us?

SpongeBob: No, Patrick, they're laughing next to us.

Fish: Where you two dumb kids headed, anyway?

SpongeBob: Kids? For your information, we are not kids, we are men. And we're off to get King Neptune's crown in Shell City.

Both: Shell City? Ain't that the place that's guarded by a killer Cyclops?

SpongeBobThat's right.

Fish: Lloyd, take off your hat in respect. Respect for the dead! You two dipsticks ain't gonna last ten seconds over the county line.

SpongeBob: Oh, yeah? We'll see about that. (car stops with a car stealer in front)

Car Stealer: Out of the car, fellas.

SpongeBob: How many seconds was that?

Fish: Twelve.

SpongeBob: In your face. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah! Who's the kid now?

Fish: They're dead.

---

At the Chumb Bucket:

Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here with an incredible news flash. Plankton is selling Krabby Patties at the Chum Bucket. How is this possible? Let's find out.

Plankton: Step right up. Plenty for everybody.

Perch Perkins: Excuse me, Plankton. Perch Perkins, Bikini Bottom News. Can I get a minute?

Plankton: Anything for you, Perch.

Perch Perkins: All of Bikini Bottom wants to know, how did you get the Krabby Patty?

Plankton: Well, Perch, before my dear friend Eugene Krabs was frozen by King Neptune...I'm sorry. He confided in me a secret wish. "Sell the Krabby Patty in my absence at the Chum Bucket," he said. "Don't let the flame die out. (he sobs) "By the way, act now and you get a free Chum Bucket bucket helmet with every purchase. Here you go, Perch.

Perch Perkins: Thanks.

Plankton: Bucket helmets for everyone!

Man: My helmet!

---

Plankton: Karen, baby, I haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife.

Karen: I never agreed.

Plankton: Evil Plan Z is working perfectly. Nothing can stop me now.

Karen: Nothing except SpongeBob and his pink friend. (displays SpongeBob and Patrick are on the road) My sensors indicate that they're going after the crown. If they make it back, Neptune might discover some fingerprints. Tiny fingerprints. Stubby, tiny fingerprints. (Plankton looks at his hands)

Plankton: Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. He's a vicious, cold-blooded predator!

Dennis: (takes off sunglasses in another one) Sesame seed.

Fish: Hey, mister. Does that hat take ten gallons? (both laugh)

---

Patrick: Going on.

SpongeBob: Yeah! Moving on. Just keep going.

Patrick: Yup.

SpongeBob: Gonna get that crown.

Patrick: Oh, yeah. All right.

SpongeBob: Yeah. Victory.

Patrick: Are we there yet?

SpongeBob: We must be close by now. Patrick, look. We're doing great! Shell City's only five days away.

Patrick: By car.

SpongeBob: I wish we still had our car.

Patrick: SpongeBob, look.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Our car!

SpongeBob: The key.

Patrick: Where do you think it is? (a man is thrown out of Thug Tug, groaning in pain)

SpongeBob: There it is, Pat. The key! Now, how are we gonna get it?

Patrick: I know. Walk in and ask him for it.

Thug:What are you looking at?

SpongeBob: Patrick, that's a terrible idea.

Patrick: Sorry.

SpongeBob: I know. I'll go in and create a distraction, and you get the key.

Patrick: Wait. I wanna do the distraction.

SpongeBob: Okay. I guess it really doesn't matter who does the distraction.

---

Inside the Thug Tug

Patrick: Can I have everybody's attention? (Everybody come closer to Patrick) I have to use the bathroom.

Thug Tug Owner: It's right over there. (Spots SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Stupid contacts. Oh, there it is. I better go wash it off.

---

Inside the Bathroom

SpongeBob: Patrick. You call that a distraction?

Patrick:Well, I had to go to the bathroom.

SpongeBob: Well, I got my hands dirty for nothing. (SpongeBob pushes the soap dispenser and bubbles came out.) Patrick, check it out.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! Bubble party!

---

Inside the Thug Tug

Thug Tug Owner: Hey! Who blew this bubble? You all know the rules!

Everybody in the Thug Tug: All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.

Thug Tug Owner: That's right! So who blew it? So nobody knows.

Tough Guy #1: Maybe it was...

Thug Tug Owner:Shut up! (throws a chair on him) Somebody in here ain't a real man. You! We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out. Now, everybody line up. DJ, time for the test. No baby can resist singing along to this.

Patrick:SpongeBob, it's the Goofy Goober theme song.

SpongeBob: I know. (SpongeBob and Patrick tries to resist to sing along)

Goofy Goober (On Record): Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah                 
You're a Goofy Goober, yeah                 
We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah
Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah

Thug Tug Owner: It was you! You're the baby!

Tough Guy #2:No, no! I only coughed, I swear.

Thug Tug Owner: DJ! Turn it up louder!

SpongeBob: Don't sing along, Patrick.

Patrick: I'm trying. Trying so hard.

Thug Tug Owner: I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah
You're a Goofy Goober, yeah                 
We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah

Double Headed Twins #1: Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah

Thug Tug Owner:Well, well, well. Which one of you babies was it?

Double Headed Twins #1 and #2:It was him. He did it. I've never even eaten at...Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah!

Thug Tug Owner: Well, looks like we got ourselves a double baby.

SpongeBob: Man, that was a close call.

Patrick: Guess what I got.

SpongeBob: The key!

---

Outside of Squidward's House

Squidward: (Sticks his head out the window) Too bad SpongeBob's not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here. (He sticks his head back in, gets his bicycle, and begins riding it around town)

---

Town

Fish: Morning. (Squidward notices he is wearing a Chum Bucket helmet)

Squidward: Some people have no taste in headgear. (Looks around more and sees everyone with a helmet, even a baby) Babies too? (Rides over to a female fish in a boat, waiting for the light to change) Excuse me, miss, but where is everybody getting that horrid headwear?

Female Fish: (She looks around) Who said that?

Squidward: Down here.

Female Fish: (After she finds Squidward) Well, I got it at the Chum Bucket. Plankton's giving them away free with every Krabby Patty.

Squidward: Chum Bucket? Free? Krabby Patty? Plankton? Giving? With?

Squidward: (After he bursts into The Chum Bucket and finds Plankton sitting on a stool, watching everyone. Karen is beside him) So you're selling Krabby Patties, eh, Plankton?

Plankton: That's right, Squidward. (Pulls out a helmet) And there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one?

Squidward: No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.

Plankton: And what's that supposed to mean?

Squidward: It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him and you could finally get your stubby little paws on the Krabby Patty formula. (Plankton looks at his hands) It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck. And I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune!

Plankton: We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips. (Presses a button on Karen)

Karen: Now activating helmet brain- control devices.

Squidward: Huh? What? (A satelite goes up, tightening up on the wearers of the helmets. First, two fish, then Mrs. Puff, then Larry the Lobster, then two rows of fish, and finally everyone else in Bikini Bottom)

Wearers of Helmets: All hail Plankton.

Squidward: (Eyes widened) What's going on here?

Plankton's Slaves (Wearers of Helmets): All hail Plankton.

Plankton: Seize him, slaves!

Slaves: All hail Plankton.

Squidward: I'm getting out of here! (Runs for the door, but more slaves burst in and corner him)

Slaves: All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton.

Squidward: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (Slaves reach for him)

Plankton: Who can stop me now? Who?

---

SpongeBob: Come on, Pat, one more time.

Patrick: Okay. (Imitates the guy who owns the Thug Tug) We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out. (SpongeBob and Patrick laughs)

SpongeBob:Weed them out. What a jerk. The road's getting kind of bumpy here.

Patrick: You know, SpongeBob, there's a lesson to be learned from all of this.

SpongeBob: What's that, Patrick?

Patrick: A bubble-blowing double baby doesn't belong out here in man's country.

SpongeBob: Yeah. (Then realizes something) Wait. We blew that bubble. Doesn't that make us a bubble-blowing double baby? Hey, look, free ice cream!

'Patrick: 'Oh, boy! (Talks to self) How you doing? Wait a minute. (Patrick looks at his surroundings and looked worried) Wait a minute. SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Yeah?

Patrick: Make mine a chocolate!

SpongeBob: Got you covered. (To the old woman) Two, please.

Old Woman: Certainly. You kids enjoy.

SpongeBob: Actually, we're men, lady, but thanks. (Gets bowl) Hey, Patrick, let's... (His hand is stuck on the bowl, which the old woman is still holding) You can let go now. I said, let go, please. What is this? What kind of old lady are you? (A huge frog fish comes out of the ground, revealing that the old woman was its tongue. When the frog fish is about to eat SpongeBob, he breaks lose and falls into the Patty Wagon)

Patrick: Did you get the ice cream? (frog fish roars)

SpongeBob: Step on it, Patrick! (Patrick begins driving the Patty Wagon extremely fast. The clam is in hot pursuit)

---

(Dennis has arrived at The Thug Tug, and is looking around. He finds SpongeBob and Patrick's bubble. Suddenly, all of the thugs appear)

Thug Tug Owner: Hey! (Dennis turns around) You may not know it, cowboy, but we got a rule around here about blowing bubbles.

All Thugs: All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied...In bar...bar...

Old Woman: Come on, kiddies, have some ice cream. I'll let you pet Mr. Whiskers. Jump for it, Patrick!

SpongeBob: Well, we lost our car again.

Patrick: Never mind the car, where's the road? Road, road, road, road, road, road, road, r... Sorry.

SpongeBob: There's the road. On the other side of this.....deep, dark.....dangerous...

Patrick: Hazardous.

SpongeBob: hazardous...

Patrick: Monster-infested.

SpongeBob: Yeah, monster-infested.....trench.

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, look! Here's the way down. Well, we're not gonna get the crown standing here. On to Shell City. (Patrick took the first step and monsters grawls) Hey, look, it's making noise. SpongeBob? (Sees him about to leave) Hey, where are you going?

SpongeBob: I'm going home, Patrick.

Patrick: But what about Mr. Krabs?

SpongeBob: What about us? We'll never survive in that trench. You said it yourself, this is man's country. And let's face it, Pat. We're just...kids.

Patrick: We're not kids.

SpongeBob: Open your eyes, Patrick! We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream. We worship a dancing peanut, for corn's sake! We don't belong out here!

Patrick: We do not worship him.

SpongeBob: (Pulls down his shorts) You've been wearing the same Goofy Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight. (We see Patrick's underwear with the Goofy Goober on it) What do you call that?

Patrick: Worship? (Gets tears in his eyes) You're right, SpongeBob. We are kids. (Runs around)

SpongeBob: Pull your pants up, Patrick. We're going home.

Mindy: But you can't go home.

(SpongeBob and Patrick see that the voice belongs to Mindy)

Patrick: Mindy! (Struggles to put his shorts on)

SpongeBob: Mindy? How much did you hear?

Mindy: I heard enough.

Patrick: Did you see my underwear?

Mindy: No, Patrick.

Patrick: Did you want to?

Mindy: Look, guys, you may be kids, but you're the only ones left who can get that crown.

SpongeBob: What do you mean, the only ones left?

Mindy: Things have gotten a lot worse since you left Bikini Bottom. (Pulls out a magical clam, which opens up revealing Bikini Bottom now) Or should I say Planktopolis.

Slaves: All hail Plankton.

Plankton: No resting! This monument celebrating my glory isn't gonna build itself. Move faster!

SpongeBob: Oh, my gosh! Patrick, look! Plankton's turned everyone we know into slaves. Squidward. (Squidward is now Plankton's fan-waving slave) Sandy. (Sandy is running in a hamster wheel. There is a sign beside it that says: DO NOT FEED THE SQUIRREL) Mrs. Puff. (I'm not sure what she is doing) (SpongeBob gasps) Even Gary. (He is helping build the monument)

Gary: Meow Plankton.

SpongeBob: Can't your father do something?

Mindy: My father's too distracted by his bald spot to do anything. (The magical clam shows Neptune's bald spot about to be sprayed by the Squire with hair growth spray)

Neptune: Squire, will you hurry? (The Squire is nervous. He closes his eyes and sprays. Well, he accidentally sprays Neptune's eyes, which grow hair)

Mindy: (She closes the clam) So you see, you can't quit. The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands.

SpongeBob: But... But we're just...

Mindy: Hey. It doesn't matter if you're kids. d what's so wrong with being a kid, anyway? Kids rule! You don't need to be a man to do this. You just gotta believe in yourself. You just gotta believe! (Swims up into the sky, then comes back down)

SpongeBob: I believe.

Mindy: That's the spirit.

SpongeBob: I believe that everybody we know is a goner! (He and Patrick begin crying)

Mindy: Come on, guys. (They don't stop) Guys. (They still don't stop) Guys? Guys? (No answer) Oh, boy. Think, Mindy, think. (Then she comes up with an idea) Yup, I guess you're right. A couple of kids could never survive this journey. That's why I guess I'll just have to turn you into men. (SpongeBob and Patrick stop crying)

SpongeBob: You can do that? How?

Mindy: With my mermaid magic.

SpongeBob: Did you hear that, Patrick? She'll use her mermaid magic to turn us into men!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men!

Mindy: Good. Now, let's get started. Close your eyes.

SpongeBob: Are we men yet?

Mindy: Not yet. Spin around three times.

SpongeBob: (Whispers) I think it's working. (Turned around like they are doing ballet)

Mindy: Good. Now, keep your eyes shut. (Grabs two sea weed and puts them onto SpongeBob and Patrick as mustache) With my mermaid's magic and my one tailfin, I command the two of you to turn into men! Open your eyes.

SpongeBob: I don't feel any... Oh, my gosh, Patrick, you have a mustache!

Patrick: So do you!

Mindy: So now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City? (SpongeBob and Patrick adores their mustaches) Guys!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah?

Mindy: I said, now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Heck, yeah!

Mindy: Are men afraid of anything?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Heck, no!

Mindy: And why?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Because we're invincible! (Jump off trench) Yeah!

Mindy: I never said that.

---

SpongeBob: Yeah. Patrick?

Patrick: Yeah, buddy?

SpongeBob: Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs?

Patrick: Bec...well...

SpongeBob: (A branch caught them and stopped them from falling and they landed safely on the ground) Patrick.

Patrick: Are we dead?

SpongeBob No, far from it, my friend. We're safe and sound at the bottom of this trench. The mustaches worked! Do you know what that means?

Patrick: We are invincible!

SpongeBob and Patrick: (Burst into song, the whole time dodging monsters) 
Now that we're men, we can do anything. Now that we're men, we are invincible. Now 
that we're men, we'll go to Shell City, get the crown, save the town, and Mr. Krabs. 
Now that we're men,

SpongeBob: We have facial hair.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Now that we're men,
            
Patrick: I change my underwear. (Does so)
                  
SpongeBob and Patrick: Now that we're men, we've got a manly flair. We've got the stuff.
We're tough enough to save the day. We never had a chance when we were kids. No! No! No! 
But take 
a look at what the mermaid did. (The two begin dancing) 
 

SpongeBob: Yeah, go, Pat. Oh yeah.

Patrick: Yeah, go, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray!

Monsters: Now that they're men, 
We can't bother them. 
Now that they're men, they have become our friends. 
Now that they're men, there'll be a happy end. 
They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown. 
They'll pass the test and finish the quest. 
They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown!

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie Transcript

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The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

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