Episode Transcript: Pressure

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy]]
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*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Patrick]]
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*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
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*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
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*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
 
*[[The Seagulls from Land]]
 
*[[The Seagulls from Land]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
Sandy: (looking at the clouds) You know, SpongeBob, sometimes it's nice to just get off my hang-glider and just relax.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' (looking at the clouds) You know, SpongeBob, sometimes it's nice to hang up my hang-glider and just watch the clouds roll by.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah. Just relax. (sighs) They're beautiful.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yup, and just relax.<br>
  
Sandy: Yeah.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Yeah. Relax.<br>
  
SpongeBob: That one looks like a flower.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! You know what that cloud looks like?<br>
  
Sandy: They all look like flowers, SpongeBob.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' What?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah. All dirty and all sweaty.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' A flower.<br>
  
Sandy: You know, normally I'd race you to the top of that mountain, but who would want to do that. <br>
+
'''Sandy:''' They all look like flowers, SpongeBob. All the time.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' They sure do.<br>
  
Sandy: And, we'd all know who would get to the top first.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' You know, normally, I'd offer to race you to the top of coral cliffs. But I don't want to miss out on a second of this beautiful beauty.
  
SpongeBob and Sandy: Yeah. Me.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Me either. Who wants to get all dirty anyway?
  
SpongeBob: Very funny, Sandy. I thought you said you could beat me at a climbing contest.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Yeah. And sweaty. Besides, I think we'd know who'd get to the top first.<br>
  
Sandy: Of course I can! I'm a squirrel. See? (points to her acorn badge)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah.<br>
  
SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts. <br>  
+
'''SpongeBob and Sandy:''' (laughing) Me.<br>
  
Sandy: Nope, that means I'm a natural climber from the upper world.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' That's funny, Sandy. It sounded like you said you could beat me in a climbing contest.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (laughs) Land-smash, it's all about fingers, baby, and what we have got plenty of down here are finger muscles! (his fingers do poses) What do you think about that, air breather? <br>
+
'''Sandy:''' 'Course I can! I'm a squirrel. See? (points to her acorn badge)<br>
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' I thought that meant you were nuts. <br>
 +
 
 +
'''Sandy:''' Nope, it means I'm a natural born climber. I'm from the surface world, and nothing prepares you for climbing like growing up on good ol' dry land. <br>
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Land-shmand, it's all about finger strength, baby, and if there's anything we've got plenty of down here, it's finger strength! (his fingers do poses) What do you say to that, "Miss Mittens"? <br>
 
   
 
   
Sandy: Well, I'd say I'm already halfway there. (SpongeBob begins to climb the mountain, unleashes rocks at him)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' I'd say I'm already halfway there!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Hey! You did that on purpose.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Ahh! (begins to climb the mountain) No fair, Sandy! You got a head start!<br>
  
Sandy: That was an accident! This was on purpose! (throws more rocks at him) I hope you didn't forget your umbrella.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Sorry, SpongeBob, that's the way the coral crumbles! (collapses the rock SpongeBob is climbing on)<br>
  
SpongeBob: (holds on to an umbrella and floats up). I DIDN'T...!!! <br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey! (gets back on another rock) You did that on purpose!<br>
  
Sandy: Well. It's about time you got here.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Yeah, but this is an accident! (unleashes more rocks at him. SpongeBob screams as he falls.) Too bad you forgot your umbrella!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Ooh. I bet you can't beat me to the Krusty Krab<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (holds on to an umbrella and floats up). I didn't! (laughing)<br>
  
Sandy: There is no way a sea creature is gonna beat me at running.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Well. It's about time you showed up.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Well I'd say I'm already halfway there...halfway there (zoom out to reveal a busted record repeating "halfway there")<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' But you were-I saw you-I-I-I want a rematch! First one to the Krusty Krab is the winner!<br>
  
SpongeBob: (laughing, hits a brick wall, Sandy jumps on his sponge body).<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Ain't no way a sea critter can run faster than a land critter.<br>
  
Sandy: See? I told you y'all can't...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I can underwater! I'm... HYDRODYNAMICALLY DESIGNED! Think you can win a fair race in that clunky tin tube?<br>
  
SpongeBob: (dressed as an old man) There you are! Lay on your land creature stuff to keep an old sea creature waiting! (rips off suit, laughing) <br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Why don't you ask my behind! That is, if you can catch it! What do you say to that, HydroPants?<br>
  
Sandy: I though y'all wanted a rematch.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I say I'm already halfway there!-halfway there! (zoom out to reveal a record player)-halfway there!-halfway there!.<br>
  
Patrick: (comes along)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' (gasps) Hey! (SpongeBob laughs but hits a brick wall. Jumps on SpongeBob) Thanks for the face lift! (laughs as she runs to the Krusty Krab) You see, I told you you didn't have a ch-
  
Squidward: What's all the laughing!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (dressed as an old man) There you are! Ain't just like a land creature to keep a sea creature waiting! (rips off suit, laughing) <br>
  
Patrick: She says land creatures are better.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' I though y'all wanted a rematch.<br>
  
Sandy: Ok, you sea creatures got the upper hand in swimming. But we land creatures are way better than y'all sea creatures.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I did! And I took a head start like you did!<br>
  
Patrick: At what?<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Well, I was just funning with you that time! But I guess all y'all underwater don't have to play fair!
  
Sandy: Oh, at darn everything I guess. Horse riding and cow roping and pie eating and...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I guess I don't, air breather!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: (comes along and Sandy finishes)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Water sucker!<br>
  
SpongeBob: I'll admit. You got some pretty good moves, for a squirrel.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Tree climber!<br>
  
Patrick: I bet they can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite. (gulps a patty down) Ah.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Gulf streamer!<br>
  
Sandy: Give me that. They don't call me Cheeks for nothing. (tries to eat it, but her air helmet blocks it. Everyone else begins to laugh)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Kite flier!<br>
  
Patrick: Thank you, thank you.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Chum chewer!<br>
  
Sandy: Well, there's just one thing.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Take that back! You... (nervously) not wet person!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Can you do this? (his eyeballs go into his head) Everyone in my family can do that.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Aha! You can't even come up with another name! That proves it!<br>
  
Sandy: Uh...uh...
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Proves what?<br>
  
Squidward: How about this? (balances six spinning plates on a stick with his tentacles) Huh?<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' That land critters are better than sea critters!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Can you reproduce by budding. (begins to do it) Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? Can ya?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (walks to the two) Better at what?<br>
  
Sandy: No!<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Oh, dern near everything, I guess. Cattle roping and pie eating and wood chopping and flying!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Most importantly...can you do this? (All except Sandy begin gasping three times without releasing any breath)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' (walks to the three) What's she blabbering about?<br>
  
Sandy: Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' She says land creatures are best.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything a sea creatures can do. In fact, if wasn't for that suit, you couldn't live down here!<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Only 'cause it's true! We're best at horse riding and fur styling and rowing. Y'all got us licked in swimming, but we've got corn chucking, (Mr. Krabs walks to the four) and hay bailing, and barn raising, and fishing! (SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs all gasp) And name calling, for sure!<br>
  
Sandy: Well, you know... (all continue laughing) I don't need to... (all laughing harder) Grr... I'll show ya all! I don't need this air suit! (takes off suit, and all gasp)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' And drowning, don't forget drowning!<br>
  
Sandy: And I don't need this helmet neither! (throws helmet to ground)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (laughing) Good one, Squidward! (jumps to hi-five Squidward) Woo!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve her!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Not on your life, sport. (SpongeBob falls)<br>
  
Squidward: How long can she stay like that?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I'll admit, you've got some pretty good moves. For a squirrel. (SpongeBob and the rest except Sandy start laughing) But you're still just a land creature.<br>
  
SpongeBob: I don't know!<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Squirrels can do anything they want to!<br>
  
Patrick: Sandy's a girl? <br>
+
'''Patrick:''' I bet you can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite. (gulps a patty down) Ah.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Wow Sandy. I guess I was wrong. Land creatures really are best. At least until they have to breathe... (Sandy winks) Feelin' light-headed yet? (Sandy shakes her head) Remember this? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath in and out)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Give me that. They don't call me Cheeks for nothing. (tries to eat it, but her air helmet blocks it. Everyone else begins to laugh)<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: It's free! (Krabs then takes a deep breath too)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Thank you, thank you.<br>
  
Sandy: (starts suffocating underwater, then she puts her head into a pickle jar.)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Well, that's just one thing.<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: I knew it! There was no way some "airhead" was gonna win anything against a water breather!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Can you do this? (his eyeballs go into his head) Everyone in my family can do that.<br>
  
Patrick: Airhead... (laughs. The top of his head deflates like a balloon) Huh? (puts thumb in mouth and blows. His head becomes round at the top.)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Uh...uh...<br>
  
Sandy: All right already! You've had your laugh. Now it's my turn! You sea creatures flopping around and swimming with your fancy fins and gills such. But there's no way you old wetheads could last even a minute in my turf.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' How about this? (balances six spinning plates on a stick with his tentacles) Huh?<br>
  
Squidward: Do we need pickle jars? (all begin to laugh)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Can you reproduce by budding? (begins to do it) Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? Can ya?<br>
  
Sandy: (leads them all to a hill) Well?
+
'''Sandy:''' No!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Well, um... we're late.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Most importantly...can you do this? (all except Sandy begin gasping three times without releasing any breath)<br>
  
Squidward: Ya, late. We're all late for...<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway?<br>
  
Patrick: A fitting!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything us sea creatures can do. In fact, if wasn't for that suit, you couldn't even live down here!<br>
  
Sandy: Fit what? Your chicken costumes!
+
'''Sandy:''' Well, you don't... (all continue laughing) I don't need to... (all laughing harder) Grr... I'll show y'all! I don't need this suit! (takes off suit, and all gasp) And I don't need this helmet neither! (throws helmet to ground)<br>
  
Patrick: (holding popcorn) We are not chickens! (drops popcorn) Huh! My popcorn! (begins pecking on it like a chicken)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Neptune preserve her!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah, we can do it. (looks at his reflection on the surface and puts his finger above the water) There. Mission acomplished.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' How long can she stay like that?<br>
  
Sandy: Tell you what. You stay underwater for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know!<br>
  
SpongeBob: No, way, San-day. We can take on your challenge! <br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Sandy's a girl?<br>
  
Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, Sandy. You sure proved us wrong. I guess land creatures are better. At least until they need to breathe... (all but Sandy laugh. Sandy winks) Yup, won't be long now. Feelin' light-headed yet? (Sandy shakes her head) Remember this? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath in and out)<br>
  
SpongeBob: We're not afraid of your dumb old land!
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' It's free! (Krabs then takes a deep breath too)<br>
  
Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!
+
'''Sandy:''' (starts suffocating underwater, then puts her head into a pickle jar. all others start laughing.) Stop laughing at me!<br>
  
SpongeBob: WE'RE SEA CREATURES!
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I knew it! There was no way some "airhead" was gonna win anything against a water breather!<br>
  
SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: YEAH!
+
'''Patrick:''' Airhead... (laughs. The top of his head deflates like a balloon) Huh? (puts thumb in mouth and blows. His head becomes round at the top.)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Well, here I go.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Sea creatures rule! (chanting) Water! Water! Water!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Wait, SpongeBob! (gives him a glass)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' All right, all right! You had your little laugh. But now it's my turn! Y'all think you're such hot stuff, don't ya! Swimming around with your fancy gills and such. But none of you wetheads would last a minute on my turf. Dry land!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr. Krabs (drinks from it) Here I go! Hey, it isn't so bad here.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Do we have to wear pickle jars? (all but Sandy begin to laugh)<br>
  
Patrick: Well, I'll do this quick. Cannonball!
+
'''Sandy:''' Nope, nothing but the clothes on your backs.<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: (goes up)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' One minute? No problem, Landy! (all but Sandy begin to laugh)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah, Mr. Krabs!
+
'''Sandy:''' (all but her are still laughing, as she leads them all to a hill. As they see land, they stop laughing) Well? So are you going or not? (the four of them stammer)<br>
  
SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Actually, you know, (stammers)<br>
  
Squidward: Well, ok. But I won't like it. (goes up. laughing stops.) What?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' We-we can't, uh... because...<br>
  
SpongeBob: Well, here we are.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' We're late for our...um...<br>
  
Squidward: This is pretty easy.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Our fitting!<br>
  
Patrick: I could keep a second rock up here.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Oh, you mean for your chicken costumes!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Once you get your land legs it's not so bad!<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (holding and eating popcorn) Hey! We are not chicken! (drops popcorn. He gasps.) My popcorn! (begins pecking on it like a chicken)<br>
  
SpongeBob: We are the masters of land and sea!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, we're not chicken, we'll do it. (looks at his reflection on the surface and puts his finger above the water) There. Mission accomplished.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (approaching birds) Hey, a local. Hi, we're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks?
+
'''Sandy:''' Look, unless you can stay above water for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures!<br>
  
Sandy: 5,4,3,2,1. Wow. They made it. Better congratulate them. (goes up, discovers the birds attacking them, attacks the birds) Hey! You can't eat my friends like that!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No, way, San-day. We can take on your challenge! <br>
  
(back underwater)
+
'''Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah!
  
SpongeBob: Wow, Sandy! Thanks for saving our butts back there.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We're not afraid of your dumb old land!
  
Mr. Krabs: Free cheers for land creatures and sea creatures! Hep hep!<br>
+
'''Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah!
  
SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We're sea creatures!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Hep hep!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah!
  
SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay! Well, this is it.<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Hep hep!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wait, boy! (gives him a glass) Make it last.<br>
  
Seagulls: Hooray.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks, Mr. Krabs. (drinks from it) Okay! Here I go! (gasps out of water) Hey, this isn't so bad. We can do this! Hey, Patrick, come on up! The air is fine!<br>
  
 +
'''Patrick:''' I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with. Cannonball! (goes up to shore) Hey, I lost my trunks! Hi, SpongeBob!<br>
  
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
+
'''SpongeBob:''' All right, Pat, you made it! Come on, Mr. Krabs! Up here!<br>
  
 +
'''Mr. Krabs:''' All ashore that's going ashore, Mr. Squidward! Land ho! (goes up)<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Looking good, Mr. Krabs!<br>
 +
 +
'''Patrick:''' Yeah! Yeah! Whoo-hoo!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, Squidward, you're missing all the dry. Come on, Squidward!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs:''' (chanting) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!<br>
 +
 +
'''Squidward:''' Well, I'll do it. But I won't like it. (goes up. Chanting stops) What?<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, here we are.<br>
 +
 +
'''Squidward:''' This is pretty easy.<br>
 +
 +
'''Patrick:''' I may keep a second rock up here.<br>
 +
 +
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Once you get your land legs it's not so bad!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' We're the masters of land and sea!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' (approaching birds) Hey, it's a local. Hi, we're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks?<br>
 +
 +
'''Sandy:''' 3, 2, 1. Well, tan my fur. They made it! Better go congratulate them. (cut to the [[island]] SpongeBob! Patrick? Hmm, where'd those critters get to? (goes up, discovers the birds attacking them. She gasps.) Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! (attacks the birds. All of them float back underwater)
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy.<br>
 +
 +
'''Sandy:''' You know, everyone's best at something.<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' But no one's best at everything. Sorry I made you take off your helmet, Sandy.<br>
 +
 +
'''Sandy:''' Sorry I made you go up on dry land, SpongeBob.<br>
 +
 +
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves! Hip hip!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Hooray!<br>
 +
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'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hip hip!<br>
 +
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'''SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Hooray!<br>
 +
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'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hip hip!<br>
 +
 +
(scene cut to live-action where the seagulls sitting on the island)<br>
 +
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'''Seagulls:''' Hooray.
 +
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{{Timeline}}
 +
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
 
{{Slogan}}
 

Latest revision as of 02:30, 28 November 2022

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Squirrel Jokes The Smoking Peanut

Episode Article: Pressure

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

Sandy: (looking at the clouds) You know, SpongeBob, sometimes it's nice to hang up my hang-glider and just watch the clouds roll by.

SpongeBob: Yup, and just relax.

Sandy: Yeah. Relax.

SpongeBob: Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! You know what that cloud looks like?

Sandy: What?

SpongeBob: A flower.

Sandy: They all look like flowers, SpongeBob. All the time.

SpongeBob: They sure do.

Sandy: You know, normally, I'd offer to race you to the top of coral cliffs. But I don't want to miss out on a second of this beautiful beauty.

SpongeBob: Me either. Who wants to get all dirty anyway?

Sandy: Yeah. And sweaty. Besides, I think we'd know who'd get to the top first.

SpongeBob: Yeah.

SpongeBob and Sandy: (laughing) Me.

SpongeBob: That's funny, Sandy. It sounded like you said you could beat me in a climbing contest.

Sandy: 'Course I can! I'm a squirrel. See? (points to her acorn badge)

SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts.

Sandy: Nope, it means I'm a natural born climber. I'm from the surface world, and nothing prepares you for climbing like growing up on good ol' dry land.

SpongeBob: (laughs) Land-shmand, it's all about finger strength, baby, and if there's anything we've got plenty of down here, it's finger strength! (his fingers do poses) What do you say to that, "Miss Mittens"?

Sandy: I'd say I'm already halfway there!

SpongeBob: Ahh! (begins to climb the mountain) No fair, Sandy! You got a head start!

Sandy: Sorry, SpongeBob, that's the way the coral crumbles! (collapses the rock SpongeBob is climbing on)

SpongeBob: Hey! (gets back on another rock) You did that on purpose!

Sandy: Yeah, but this is an accident! (unleashes more rocks at him. SpongeBob screams as he falls.) Too bad you forgot your umbrella!

SpongeBob: (holds on to an umbrella and floats up). I didn't! (laughing)

Sandy: Well. It's about time you showed up.

SpongeBob: But you were-I saw you-I-I-I want a rematch! First one to the Krusty Krab is the winner!

Sandy: Ain't no way a sea critter can run faster than a land critter.

SpongeBob: I can underwater! I'm... HYDRODYNAMICALLY DESIGNED! Think you can win a fair race in that clunky tin tube?

Sandy: Why don't you ask my behind! That is, if you can catch it! What do you say to that, HydroPants?

SpongeBob: I say I'm already halfway there!-halfway there! (zoom out to reveal a record player)-halfway there!-halfway there!.

Sandy: (gasps) Hey! (SpongeBob laughs but hits a brick wall. Jumps on SpongeBob) Thanks for the face lift! (laughs as she runs to the Krusty Krab) You see, I told you you didn't have a ch-

SpongeBob: (dressed as an old man) There you are! Ain't just like a land creature to keep a sea creature waiting! (rips off suit, laughing)

Sandy: I though y'all wanted a rematch.

SpongeBob: I did! And I took a head start like you did!

Sandy: Well, I was just funning with you that time! But I guess all y'all underwater don't have to play fair!

SpongeBob: I guess I don't, air breather!

Sandy: Water sucker!

SpongeBob: Tree climber!

Sandy: Gulf streamer!

SpongeBob: Kite flier!

Sandy: Chum chewer!

SpongeBob: (gasps) Take that back! You... (nervously) not wet person!

Sandy: Aha! You can't even come up with another name! That proves it!

SpongeBob: Proves what?

Sandy: That land critters are better than sea critters!

Patrick: (walks to the two) Better at what?

Sandy: Oh, dern near everything, I guess. Cattle roping and pie eating and wood chopping and flying!

Squidward: (walks to the three) What's she blabbering about?

Patrick: She says land creatures are best.

Sandy: Only 'cause it's true! We're best at horse riding and fur styling and rowing. Y'all got us licked in swimming, but we've got corn chucking, (Mr. Krabs walks to the four) and hay bailing, and barn raising, and fishing! (SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs all gasp) And name calling, for sure!

Squidward: And drowning, don't forget drowning!

SpongeBob: (laughing) Good one, Squidward! (jumps to hi-five Squidward) Woo!

Squidward: Not on your life, sport. (SpongeBob falls)

SpongeBob: I'll admit, you've got some pretty good moves. For a squirrel. (SpongeBob and the rest except Sandy start laughing) But you're still just a land creature.

Sandy: Squirrels can do anything they want to!

Patrick: I bet you can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite. (gulps a patty down) Ah.

Sandy: Give me that. They don't call me Cheeks for nothing. (tries to eat it, but her air helmet blocks it. Everyone else begins to laugh)

Patrick: Thank you, thank you.

Sandy: Well, that's just one thing.

Mr. Krabs: Can you do this? (his eyeballs go into his head) Everyone in my family can do that.

Sandy: Uh...uh...

Squidward: How about this? (balances six spinning plates on a stick with his tentacles) Huh?

SpongeBob: Can you reproduce by budding? (begins to do it) Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? Can ya?

Sandy: No!

SpongeBob: Most importantly...can you do this? (all except Sandy begin gasping three times without releasing any breath)

Sandy: Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway?

SpongeBob: Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything us sea creatures can do. In fact, if wasn't for that suit, you couldn't even live down here!

Sandy: Well, you don't... (all continue laughing) I don't need to... (all laughing harder) Grr... I'll show y'all! I don't need this suit! (takes off suit, and all gasp) And I don't need this helmet neither! (throws helmet to ground)

Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve her!

Squidward: How long can she stay like that?

SpongeBob: I don't know!

Patrick: Sandy's a girl?

SpongeBob: Wow, Sandy. You sure proved us wrong. I guess land creatures are better. At least until they need to breathe... (all but Sandy laugh. Sandy winks) Yup, won't be long now. Feelin' light-headed yet? (Sandy shakes her head) Remember this? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath in and out)

Mr. Krabs: It's free! (Krabs then takes a deep breath too)

Sandy: (starts suffocating underwater, then puts her head into a pickle jar. all others start laughing.) Stop laughing at me!

Mr. Krabs: I knew it! There was no way some "airhead" was gonna win anything against a water breather!

Patrick: Airhead... (laughs. The top of his head deflates like a balloon) Huh? (puts thumb in mouth and blows. His head becomes round at the top.)

SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Sea creatures rule! (chanting) Water! Water! Water!

Sandy: All right, all right! You had your little laugh. But now it's my turn! Y'all think you're such hot stuff, don't ya! Swimming around with your fancy gills and such. But none of you wetheads would last a minute on my turf. Dry land!

Squidward: Do we have to wear pickle jars? (all but Sandy begin to laugh)

Sandy: Nope, nothing but the clothes on your backs.

SpongeBob: One minute? No problem, Landy! (all but Sandy begin to laugh)

Sandy: (all but her are still laughing, as she leads them all to a hill. As they see land, they stop laughing) Well? So are you going or not? (the four of them stammer)

SpongeBob: Actually, you know, (stammers)

Squidward: We-we can't, uh... because...

Mr. Krabs: We're late for our...um...

Patrick: Our fitting!

Sandy: Oh, you mean for your chicken costumes!

Patrick: (holding and eating popcorn) Hey! We are not chicken! (drops popcorn. He gasps.) My popcorn! (begins pecking on it like a chicken)

SpongeBob: Yeah, we're not chicken, we'll do it. (looks at his reflection on the surface and puts his finger above the water) There. Mission accomplished.

Sandy: Look, unless you can stay above water for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures!

SpongeBob: No, way, San-day. We can take on your challenge!

Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!

SpongeBob: We're not afraid of your dumb old land!

Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!

SpongeBob: We're sea creatures!

SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!

SpongeBob: Okay! Well, this is it.

Mr. Krabs: Wait, boy! (gives him a glass) Make it last.

SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr. Krabs. (drinks from it) Okay! Here I go! (gasps out of water) Hey, this isn't so bad. We can do this! Hey, Patrick, come on up! The air is fine!

Patrick: I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with. Cannonball! (goes up to shore) Hey, I lost my trunks! Hi, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: All right, Pat, you made it! Come on, Mr. Krabs! Up here!

Mr. Krabs: All ashore that's going ashore, Mr. Squidward! Land ho! (goes up)

SpongeBob: Looking good, Mr. Krabs!

Patrick: Yeah! Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward, you're missing all the dry. Come on, Squidward!

SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs: (chanting) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!

Squidward: Well, I'll do it. But I won't like it. (goes up. Chanting stops) What?

SpongeBob: Well, here we are.

Squidward: This is pretty easy.

Patrick: I may keep a second rock up here.

Mr. Krabs: Once you get your land legs it's not so bad!

SpongeBob: We're the masters of land and sea!

SpongeBob: (approaching birds) Hey, it's a local. Hi, we're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks?

Sandy: 3, 2, 1. Well, tan my fur. They made it! Better go congratulate them. (cut to the island SpongeBob! Patrick? Hmm, where'd those critters get to? (goes up, discovers the birds attacking them. She gasps.) Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! (attacks the birds. All of them float back underwater)

SpongeBob: Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy.

Sandy: You know, everyone's best at something.

SpongeBob: But no one's best at everything. Sorry I made you take off your helmet, Sandy.

Sandy: Sorry I made you go up on dry land, SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves! Hip hip!

SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!

Mr. Krabs: Hip hip!

SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!

Mr. Krabs: Hip hip!

(scene cut to live-action where the seagulls sitting on the island)

Seagulls: Hooray.

Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
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