Club SpongeBob (Episode)

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Club SpongeBob
Titlecard Club SpongeBob.jpg

© Viacom

Episode No.: 27a
Season: 2/2000
Airdate: May 5, 2001
Previous Episode: SpongeGuard on Duty
Next Episode: My Pretty Seahorse
Characters Voice actors
SpongeBob SquarePants Tom Kenny
Patrick Star Bill Fagerbakke
Squidward Tentacles Rodger Bumpass
2001 Bikini Bottom Telephone





Squidward appears from his house to take a ride on his bike to work. SpongeBob and Patrick are in a beanstalk tree house speaking in code about Squidward going to work and can be heard giggling. Squidward rides over to them, and begins to mock their secret language, but SpongeBob says that they cannot tell him about the secret language because he is not a member of the club. Squidward asks, What does it take to be a member, besides being a moron? SpongeBob tells Squidward that he could not even get into the club if he tried. Squidward says that he happens to be a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom. Patrick says that Squidward will definitely not fit in. Squidward says that they should be begging him to join the club and as such begins to climb the beanstalk. He gets inside the club only to find that the room is very small, and that is the type of fitting in SpongeBob and Patrick was referring to. He is then told that they have been stuck in the club for three days. SpongeBob and Patrick decide to initiate Squidward anyhow, and sing him the welcome song.

Squidward gets annoyed and tries to get out of the club by pulling on a beanstalk branch, causing the whole tree house to go flying into the air, landing in a kelp forest, presumably in the middle of nowhere. As it is flying through the air, a couple has seen the club house, the male fish says to the female make a wish honey as the tree house flies overhead.

The boys emerge from the tree house. Patrick and SpongeBob are excited because of the ride, but Squidward is frantically pacing and screaming about the fact that he is lost with SpongeBob and Patrick. He states "Why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why?"

Squidward says that this is the end, but SpongeBob tries to reassure him by saying that they will be fine if they stick together and that they are fine because they have the magic conch shell. Patrick tells SpongeBob to ask it something, so he pulls the cord on the shell while asking if he will ever get married, to which the conch replies maybe someday.

Squidward thinks the idea is absurd, and that it is just a stupid toy. The boys are angered by Squidward’s comment, and SpongeBob asks the shell what they must do to be rescued. The response: Nothing. Due to this, Patrick and SpongeBob proceed to sit down with blank looks on their faces, literally doing nothing. Squidward abandons them after mocking them again…He finds himself lost in the forest, until he sees a light at the end of the kelp tunnel. After running towards it, he ends up right where he began, which means that if he had been running in a straight line as was alluded to, that he would have had to run all the way around the world.

This leads to Squidward setting up a semi-camp, starting a fire and trying to grill a bug on a frying pan. Where he got the pan is not specified. He continues to mock the two of them for listening to the conch, saying "As if the answers to all your problems will fall right out of the sky!" At the same time, a Picnic Supply Inc. plane falling out of the sky that must drop the load; a pre-assembled picnic table and umbrella, tent, and a very large supply of various foods. SpongeBob and Patrick immediately begin to dig into all the food. Just so he can have food Squidward apologizes for his selfishness but SpongeBob says that he should ask the Magic Conch what he should eat. The conch is apparently mad at Squidward for his prior remarks and tells him he cannot have anything to eat. After many tries, his head starts to morph, and grow red in anger.

Suddenly, a park ranger appears. He sees the boys’ conch and lets everyone know he is a club member. He asks the conch what they should do now, to which the reply is..... "Nothing." The three of them flop down into the blank look once again; Squidward weakly joins them and, closing the episode, says "All hail the magic conch!"


  • When Squidward is asking the conch shell if he can eat anything and in the last shot, when the conch shell says no, the conch shell is being held by SpongeBob's yellow hand, instead of Squidward's hand, but in the next shot, Squidward's holding the conch shell again.
  • When Squidward said "Why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery." This is a reference to approximately how long an average episode is. Squidward did the same thing in the episode Nature Pants: "I give him 11 minutes." Also, though not by Squidward, this reference also appears at the end of the later episode Missing Identity ("Well, you managed to kill 11 minutes.").
  • The Magic Conch is a reference to the Magic 8 Ball
  • In The First 100 SpongeBob Episodes (DVD) on one disc before you watch an episode the quote in this episode said Why must every 11 minutes of my like be filled with misery is changed to a higher voice for unknown reasons.


Transcript for Club SpongeBob

← Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 →
41a 41b 42a 42b 43a 43b 44a 44b 45a 45b 46a 46b 47a 47b 48a 48b 49a 49b 50a 50b
51 52a 52b 53a 53b 54 55a 55b 56a 56b 57a 57b 58a 58b 59 60a 60b
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