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Episode Transcript: Pressure
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Squirrel Jokes | The Smoking Peanut |
Episode Article: Pressure
Characters
Dialogue
Sandy: (looking at the clouds) You know, SpongeBob, sometimes it's nice to just get off my hang-glider and just relax.
SpongeBob: Yeah. Just relax. (sighs) They're beautiful.
Sandy: Yeah.
SpongeBob: That one looks like a flower.
Sandy: They all look like flowers, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Yeah. All dirty and all sweaty.
Sandy: You know, normally I'd race you to the top of that mountain, but who would want to do that.
SpongeBob: Yeah!
Sandy: And, we'd all know who would get to the top first.
SpongeBob and Sandy: Yeah. Me.
SpongeBob: Very funny, Sandy. I thought you said you could beat me at the top of that mountain.
Sandy: Of course I can! I'm a squirrel. See? (points to her acorn badge)
SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts. (laughs) What do you think of that, air breather?
Sandy: Well, I'd say I'm already halfway there. (SpongeBob begins to climb the mountain, unleashes rocks at him)
SpongeBob: Hey! You did that on purpose.
Sandy: That was on purpose. This is an accident! (throws more rocks at him) I hope you didn't forget your umbrella.
SpongeBob: (holds on to an umbrella and floats up).
SpongeBob: Sentence enhancers?
Sandy: Well. It's about time you got here.
SpongeBob: Ooh. I bet you can't beat me to the Krusty Krab
Sandy: There is no way a sea creature is gonna beat me at running.
SpongeBob: Well I'd say I'm already halfway there...halfway there (zoom out to reveal a busted record repeating "halfway there")
SpongeBob: (laughing, hits a brick wall, Sandy jumps on his sponge body).
Sandy: See? I told you y'all can't...
SpongeBob: (dressed as an old man) There you are! Lay on your land creature stuff to keep an old sea creature waiting! (rips off suit, laughing)
Sandy: I though y'all wanted a rematch.
Patrick: (comes along)
Squidward: What's all the laughing!
Patrick: She says land creatures are better.
Sandy: Ok, you sea creatures got the upper hand in swimming. But we land creatures are way better than y'all sea creatures.
Patrick: At what?
Sandy: Oh, at darn everything I guess. Horse riding and cow roping and...
Mr. Krabs: (comes along and Sandy finishes)
SpongeBob: I'll admit. You got some pretty good moves, for a squirrel.
Patrick: I bet they can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite. (gulps a patty down) Ah.
Sandy: Give me that. They don't call me Cheeks for nothing. (tries to eat it, but her air helmet blocks it. Everyone else begins to laugh)
Patrick: Thank you, thank you.
Sandy: Well, there's just one thing.
Mr. Krabs: Can you do this? (his eyeballs go into his head) Everyone in my family can do that.
Sandy: Uh...uh...
Squidward: How about this? (balances six spinning plates on a stick with his tentacles) Huh?
SpongeBob: Can you reproduce by budding. (begins to do it) Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? Can ya?
Sandy: No!
SpongeBob: Most importantly...can you do this? (All except Sandy begin gasping three times without releasing any breath)
Sandy: Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway?
SpongeBob: Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything a sea creatures can do. In fact, if wasn't for that suit, you couldn't live down here!
Sandy: Well, you know... (all continue laughing) I don't need to... (all laughing harder) Grr... I'll show ya all! I don't need this air suit! (takes off suit, and all gasp)
Sandy: And I don't need this helmet neither! (throws helmet to ground)
Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve her!
Squidward: How long can she stay like that?
SpongeBob: I don't know!
Patrick: Sandy's a girl?
SpongeBob: Wow Sandy. I guess I was wrong. Land creatures really are best. At least until they have to breathe... (Sandy winks) Feelin' light-headed yet? (Sandy shakes her head) Remember this? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath in and out)
Mr. Krabs: It's free! (Mr. Krabs takes a deep breath too)
Sandy: (starts suffocating underwater, then she puts her head into a pickle jar.)
Mr. Krabs: I knew it! There was no way some "airhead" was gonna win anything against a water breather!
Patrick: Airhead... (laughs. The top of his head deflates like a balloon) Huh? (puts thumb in mouth and blows. His head becomes round at the top.)
Sandy: All right already! You've had your laugh. Now it's my turn! You sea creatures flopping around and swimming with your fancy fins and gills such. But there's no way you old wetheads could last even a minute in my turf.
Squidward: Do we need pickle jars? (all begin to laugh)
Sandy: (leads them all to a hill) Well?
Mr. Krabs: Well, um... we're late.
Squidward: Ya, late. We're all late for...
Patrick: A fitting!
Sandy: Fit what? Your chicken costumes!
Patrick: (holding popcorn) We are not chickens! (drops popcorn) Huh! My popcorn! (begins pecking on it like a chicken)
SpongeBob: Yeah, we can do it. (looks at his reflection on the surface and puts his finger above the water) There. Mission acomplished.
Sandy: Tell you what. You stay one minute there. And I forfeit the contest.
SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: We're ready! (Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Squidward go at the back of SpongeBob, making him the first.)
SpongeBob: Well, here I go.
Mr. Krabs: Wait, SpongeBob! (gives him a glass)
SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr. Krabs (drinks from it) Here I go! Hey, it isn't so bad here.
Patrick: Well, I'll do this quick. Cannonball!
Mr. Krabs: (goes up)
SpongeBob: Yeah, Mr. Krabs!
SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
Squidward: Well, ok. But I won't like it. (goes up. laughing stops.) What?
SpongeBob: Well, here we are.
Squidward: This is pretty easy.
Patrick: I could keep a second rock up here.
Mr. Krabs: Once you get your land legs it's not so bad!
SpongeBob: We are the masters of land and sea!
SpongeBob: (approaching birds) Hey, a local. Hi, we're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks?
Sandy: 5,4,3,2,1. Wow. They made it. Better congratulate them. (goes up, discovers the birds attacking them, attacks the birds) Hey! You can't eat my friends like that!
(back underwater)
SpongeBob: Wow, Sandy! Thanks for saving our butts back there.
Mr. Krabs: Free cheers for land creatures and sea creatures! Hep hep!
SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!
Mr. Krabs: Hep hep!
SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!
Mr. Krabs: Hep hep!
Seagulls: Hooray.
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