Episode Transcript: Bubble Buddy

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Episode Article: Bubble Buddy

Characters

Dialogue

Narrator: Every day is a holiday for SpongeBob, even if he has to make one up.

SpongeBob: (jumps out of bed) Hey everybody! It’s Leif Ericcson Day! Hinga-dinga-durgin! (pretends his bed is a boat and rows out of his pineapple over to Patrick's rock) Ahoy, Patrick! It’s Leif Ericcson Day! (knocks on Patrick's rock. It opens to show a giant piece of paper taped to it) There’s a note.

Patrick (as note): SpongeBob, went to get more giant paper. Uhhhh...Patrick. P.S. Happy Leif Ericcson Day! Yingin-hinga- dinga!

SpongeBob: Aww... so much for that. (throws his costume away) Maybe Sandy will play with me. (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking up to Sandy's treedome. Notices a note on the door) Another note.

Sandy (as note): SpongeBob, went south for the winter. Love, Sandy.

SpongeBob: I don’t get it. The water’s fine. scene shows the treedome is snowing inside. (Scene cuts to SpongeBob going up to Squidward front door) Hey Squidward! Want to play? (notices a note taped to the door)

Squidward (as note): No.

SpongeBob: Are you sure? (rips off the note to find another note)

Squidward (as note): Yes.

SpongeBob: Darn. I wish I had a buddy to play with. I know! I’ll make one! (scene cuts to SpongeBob holding a stick) Stick buddy! (lets go of the stick which falls to the ground) Nah... (scene cuts to SpongeBob standing next to a pile of rocks) Rock buddy! Nope... (scene cuts to SpongeBob standing next to a sink) Sink buddy! Almost... (scene cuts to SpongeBob again) I’ve got it! (dips his bubble wand into bubble soap and blows a human shape-like bubble) Bubble buddy! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and his bubble pal on the Viking boat) This...is...great! (scene cuts to SpongeBob going up to the Krusty Krab with his bubble) I can’t wait for you to meet Squidward and Mr. Krabs. (SpongeBob walks in the Krusty Krab but his bubble just floats at the door) Don’t be shy, come on! (SpongeBob squeezes the bubble through the doors)

Squidward: Please come again. (customer walks off) When I’m not working.

SpongeBob: Hi Squidward!

Squidward: How am I supposed to enjoy your day off if you come to work anyway?

SpongeBob: I want you to meet my new friend, Bubble Buddy! (Squidward's looks at it and sees his reflection)

Squidward: This bubble is your friend? (giggles) Well, he’s handsome, I’ll give him that. (laughs then takes out a notepad) What’ll it be?

SpongeBob: Oh, I’m not hungry.

Squidward: Well, thanks for stopping by. (starts to walk off)

SpongeBob: Wait! You haven’t taken Bubble Buddy’s order yet!

Squidward: Why would I do that?

SpongeBob: He’s hungry.

Squidward: He's an inanimate object, his money’s no good here! (Mr. Krabs pops out of the cash register drawer)

Mr. Krabs: What are you saying, Mr. Squidward? Everyone’s money is good here. (scene cuts to a man with a prison uniform attached to a ball & chain) At the Krusty Krab, we serves all kinds.

Squidward: I’m not taking an order for a bubble.

Mr. Krabs: Sure you are! Or I’ll fill your life with misery and woe. (goes back into the cash register then peeks his head out again) Even if you quit. (goes back into the cash register)

Squidward: May I take your order?

SpongeBob: Wait, Bubble Buddy. Let me decide for you. reads the menu Hmmm. Krabby Patty, Double Patty Patty, Krabby Junior Junior, Jumbo Small Patty, Junior Senior Sophomore Patty, Quarter Ouncer Double Pounder...ohh, it’s all so good! He’ll just take one of everything. (Mr. Krabs explodes through the cash register)

Mr. Krabs: One of everything?! Whoopee! (applies a tattoo on himself that has a heart and the words "Bubble Buddy" through it) I love Bubble Buddy! Squidward, show our best customer to his table. (points his eyes to a table in the opposite direction)

SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy’s thirsty.

Squidward: How about a glass of our finest shampoo? (laughs)

SpongeBob: Sounds great! (Squidward walks off and returns with a shampoo bottle with a straw in it)

Squidward: Here’s your hair care product, sir.

SpongeBob: Uhh, Bubble Buddy likes bendy straws. (Squidward bends the straw) Huh, what’s that? Bubble Buddy says it tastes funny. What do you think?

Squidward: Mr. Krabs! (scene cuts to showing Mr. Krabs chewing patty meat for a customer and spitting it back on their plate)

Mr. Krabs: Think of the customer. (Squidward drinks a sample of the shampoo)

Squidward: Oh, silly me. I got the diet shampoo. (Squidward comes out later with a cart of krabby patties) Here we go, one of everything for Bubble Buddy. (puts a krabby patty on Bubble Buddy's plate. SpongeBob gasps)

SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward, wait! There’s cheese on these patties!

Squidward: And?

SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy’s lactose-intolerant, he can’t eat cheese! What should we do?

Squidward: We? How about (you take) these patties and sho...

Mr. Krabs: Squidward! (walks off with the cart)

SpongeBob: Don’t worry, Bubble Buddy. Squidward will make a fresh batch. (Squidward comes back with a new cart and puts a new patty on Bubble Buddy's plate)

Squidward: What, is he allergic to bread, too?

SpongeBob: Actually he doesn’t like the crust. (scene cuts to Squidward cutting off the bread crusts) And Squidward, the ketchup should be under the patty. (scene cuts to Squidward squirting ketchup on the patties) And Squidward, the pickles should be on the left side. And Squidward, you should... And Squidward... And Squidward... And Squidward... And Squidward... (Squidward goes through many steps to get the order right. He finally brings a plate of patties to Bubble Buddy)

Squidward: Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non- dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes carnival-style! (sets a bigger ferris wheel on the table) And if there’s anything else I can do, please hesitate to ask. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Bubble Buddy walking out of the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: That was delicious! Money’s on the table, Mr. Krabs! (Mr. Krabs waves)

Mr. Krabs: So long, boys! You see Squidward, the restaurant game is all about service. The customer is always right. Remember that, lad, and you’ll be as successful as me one day.

Squidward: Oh, you’re right, Mr. Krabs. I learned my lesson. And by the way, Bubble Buddy picked up the tab. (hands Mr. Krabs a $100 bill made of bubbles)

Mr. Krabs: What’s this?

Squidward: Bubble money. ($100 bill pops. Squidward shows his hand full of bubble change) At least he left a tip! (all the bubbles pop as Mr. Krabs and Squidward get angry. Scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)

SpongeBob: Here we are buddy, Goo Lagoon. There are lots of ways to have fun here. (Scooter runs up to SpongeBob)

Scooter: Dudes, bury me! laughs

SpongeBob: See what I mean? (scene cuts to SpongeBob burying Scooter in sand All done.)

Scooter: All right!

SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy, you dig him out while I get us some cotton candy. (walks off as the tide gets closer around Scooter)

Scooter: Don’t just stand there dude, the tide’s coming in. (laughs) Dude? (scene cuts to SpongeBob putting Bubble Buddy in a port-o-potty as two other guys walk up)

SpongeBob: My friend’s in there.

Fish: Congratulations. (scene cuts to a bunch of strong fish dancing to some music.SpongeBob walks up and starts dancing)

SpongeBob: Woo! Shake it! Shake it! Yeah! Shake that bubble butt! Yeah! (everyone stops dancing and looks at their butts then walk off mumbling. (Scene cuts back to the port-o-potty where the guy behind SpongeBob checks his watch. Scene cuts to a big fish driving a boat and Pearl and her friends run up to him)

Pearl: It’s the world-famous surfer, Grubby Grouper!

Grubby Grouper: Later, groupies! (shakes Pearl’s hand) Grubby’s got to go catch some gnarly pounders. Ahoo!!(drives off)

Pearl: (looks at her fin which is dirty now) Oh, I’ll never wash this flipper again. SpongeBob walks up with Bubble Buddy

SpongeBob: Hey Pearl! Shake hands with Bubble Buddy! (Bubble Buddy shakes Pearls hand which is now clean. She cries.) Scene cuts to the port-o-potty It’s his first time on his own.

Fish: Once again, congratulations. (later, the line is longer. Picture scrolls over to where we see a sign that reads '45 minutes from this point') Two hours is long enough! That’s it! (opens the port-o-potty door to see a bubble)

SpongeBob: Hey Bubble Buddy, you’re finished! (takes Bubble Buddy away)

Fish: He kept up waiting for a bubble?

Larry: That’s nothing! (Larry is with the group of people who were dancing earlier He called us fat! group eats celery sticks)

Pearl: (crying as she shows her clean flipper) He washed my flipper!

Mr. Krabs: He owes me money!

Squidward: He made me provide excellent service!

Scooter: (appears with a halo and angel clothing on) Dudes! He made me experience high tide! (floats up towards the surface)

Tom: He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague upon our houses!

Protesters: He did?

Tom: No, but are we just going to wait around until he does?

Mr. Krabs: I say we tip something over! (everyone pushes the lifeguard stand over)

Protester: Now what?

Protesters: Get the lifeguard! (Squidward stops them)

Squidward: Wait! Don’t waste this senseless violence on him! It’s that stupid bubble of SpongeBob's that’s causing all the problems! (takes out a push pin) Who’s with me!

Protesters: Pop the bubble! (everyone else takes out a sewing pin. The group walks up to SpongeBob and Bubble Buddy relaxing on the beach)

SpongeBob: Hey everyone! Have you met my friend, Bubble Buddy?

Protesters: Yes... (show their sewing pins)

SpongeBob: Hey, is this one of those sewing circles?

Protesters: No... (group steps in closer)

SpongeBob: Would you mind not getting so close with those pins? Pointy objects make Bubble Buddy uncomfortable.

Larry: SpongeBob, that bubble’s got to go.

SpongeBob: Oh no, he already took care of that, but thanks for your concern.

Pearl: No. “Go” as in… (she blows a bubble from her gum and pops it. SpongeBob screams and grabs the bubble)

SpongeBob: Why?

Mr. Krabs: You and that bubble have been nothing but trouble! It’s time to end it!

SpongeBob: No! I won’t let you! (blows in Bubble Buddy to make him bigger and floats into the air) Here we go! You’ll never catch us now! Never! Ha! Never! both start to get lower to the ground and the group surrounds them (both again) Never...

Squidward: Enough sea-horsing around, SpongeBob! Give us that bubble!

Protesters: Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble!

SpongeBob: No! You can’t! He’s not just a bubble, he’s a Bubble Buddy! He’s my friend and I love him! (hugs Bubble Buddy) Haven’t you ever had a very special friend? (tears up. Mr. Krabs takes out a nickle)

Mr. Krabs: Oh,Nickle Buddy, I’ll never spend you!

Fish #2: Funny Muffler...

Larry: Jerky Pal...

Fish #3: Boo-boo Keys...

Fish #4: Snake Eyes... (together with Fish #3) We love you! (cries)

SpongeBob: So, what do you say? (Everyone pauses for a while...and...)

Protesters: (chanting) Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! (they pick up SpongeBob and throw him away from the group)

Squidward: Let’s get this over with so I can go home and play my clarinet!

SpongeBob: (slow-motion) Noo... (in slow-motion, Squidward pushes the pin forward towards Bubble Buddy while SpongeBob is still saying 'no', also in slow motion. Then Bubble Buddy stops Squdiward from popping him by grabbing his arm)

Bubble Buddy: Whoa! (all gasp) Hey, don’t I get a say in this? (walks up to SpongeBob) I’ll see you later, SpongeBob. Things are getting a little weird around here. (puts on his bubble hat and a bubble suitcase appears in his hand. Just then a bubble taxi takes him away into the sky)

SpongeBob: So long.

Bubble Buddy: Happy Leif Ericcson Day!

Squidward: He’s... alive?

SpongeBob: Of course! Otherwise he couldn't tell such funny jokes! (laughs as everyone walks off muttering) Seems like only this morning that I held his bottle. (sniffles) They blow up so fast. (cries and runs off. A bunch of bubbles pop by Squidward except for one)

Squidward: Uh...hi?

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