Episode Transcript: The Main Drain

Characters

• Patchy the Pirate
• Potty the Parrot
• SpongeBob
• Patrick
• Squidward
• Mr. Krabs
• Plankton
• Old Man Jenkins
• Narrator

Patchy's Segment Part 1; Encino is Ruined

Patchy: Some music should soothe me jangled nerve

Potty: Go Cartoon SpongeBob

Patchy: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!

Potty: Warner Bros Wallace Oh Wallace

Patchy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Potty: Out of wild sand

Patchy: You know, kids, this kind of reminds Patchy of a old story, another story about a lost city. why don't you check it out? No..... Encino.

SpongeBob's Segment Party 1 The Main Drain

(At the Krusty Krab, we see SpongeBob coming out of the freezer with a krabby patty)

Narrator: Out of SpongeBob Krusty Krabs

SpongeBob: Nothing like a fresh frozen krabby patty with extra freezer burn flavor. (His nose breaks off. He walks up to the grill) Here we go... (Stops when he saw filth on the grill. He takes his finger and observes part of the filth.) Hmm, grill look a tad dirty. (Cuts to the counter with a customer.)

Narrator: Out Squidward out of books

Customer: Yeah, I like to order...(Gets interrupted by a noise from the kitchen.)

Squidward: Hold that thought. (SpongeBob is cleaning the grill with a red sponge. Squidward pops his head in the window.) SpongeBob, what's all that racket? (SpongeBob cleans Squidward's face, he goes back to the counter with his face all dirty.)

Customer: Uh, so I like to order... (Squidward closes his mouth, hushing him. Back in the kitchen, the grill is all cleaned. SpongeBob places the red sponge in his tongue.)

SpongeBob: (Pops his head out the window.) Say! Who wants...the first patty from our freshly cleaned grill!? (Hyperventilates excitedly.)

Narrator: Mr. Krabs Out of do the roar! The Main Drain

Customer: (Delighted) I would like a Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: Okay, how about you, Squid...

Squidward: No! I do not want a Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: (Smugs while slides his finger against Squidward's nose.) You suuure?

Squidward: Don't touch me.

Customer: Why don't you want a krabby patty?

Squidward: I've seen what he cleans the grill with. (Cuts to the kitchen.)

SpongeBob: Now all I need is a fresh patty. (Walks to the freezer when he then slips on a puddle of water, goes out the door, making a path of water, grabs a pole, and slides back to the kitchen, closing the door. He is now lying down.)

SpongeBob: Hey, where'd all this water come from? (He noticed the sink was running. He walks up to it and turns it off.) There we go. Oh my stars and garters, the sink is clogged up! (He places a "Wet Floor" sign.) Safety. (Walks back to the sink.) Now what seem to be the trouble, hmm? (He heard somebody tripped. SpongeBob walks up to that person, which was Patrick.) Patrick, what happened? (Patrick sits up.)

Patrick: There I was, walking along, just minding my own business and then BOOM! (Takes out the "Wet Floor" sign.) Some dumbbell put this thing in the way. (Throws the sign out and gets up.) What'cha doing?

SpongeBob: Trying to see what has this sink all backed up. Would you excuse me a second?

Patrick: Uh-huh. (SpongeBob inhales for breath and holds it. He dives his head into the sink and then he saw a drain plug.)

SpongeBob: (Gurgling) Ah-ha! (Takes his head out of the sink.) Oh, this is easy. All I have to do is pull the drain plug. (Repeating as the scene goes to Mr. Krabs' office while he is writing.) Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug. (Mr. Krabs' eyes becomes bloodshot in fright.) The drain plug.

Mr. Krabs: (Yelling) THE DRAIN PLUG!? (Cuts to SpongeBob, trying to pull the drain plug. Mr. Krabs rushed to SpongeBob.) SpongeBob! (SpongeBob gets startled and he jumps up to the ceiling, hitting his head. Then he falls down to the floor.) What in Neptune's bathtub do you think you're doing, lad!?

SpongeBob: (Goes to the sink again.) The sink is clogged, (Holds the plug.) so I was going to pull out the drain plug. (Mr. Krabs smacks his hand and SpongeBob lets go of the plug.)

Mr. Krabs: Stop messing with that drain plug! Are you daft?

SpongeBob: Why don't you want me to pull out the drain plug, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Why don't I-but-hmm...one sec. (Walks to a light switch and turns it off. Then he walks back.) Time for a scary story boys. The story...(Takes out a flashlight and shines to his face.) ... (Spooky tone) of the Main Drain. (He hears ominous music from Patrick's radio.) Patrick.

Patrick: Sorry. (Turns off his radio.)

Mr. Krabs: As I was saying... (Takes out the flashlight and shines to his face again.) it happened a long time ago... (He hears ominous music from Patrick's radio again and was annoyed.) Patrick! (Patrick turns it off again.) ...to a pair of little kids.

Patrick: (Scared) Two little kids...? (Crying)

Mr. Krabs: Anyway, (Takes out the flashlight and shines to his face again.) it said that the Main Drain beckoned to them, putting them under its spell. (Scene cuts to two kids, an orange fish and a green fish, running and laughing.)

Green Kid: (Singing) Dadadada-dum-da-dumdumdum.

Orange Kid: Woooo.

Mr. Krabs: (Narrating) One day, those two kids were wandering through the ocean, when they stumble upon it. (The kids found a giant drain plug.)

Kids: Huh?

Mr. Krabs: (Spooky tone) The Main Drain.

Kids: (They chuckled and then they pull it.)

Mr. Krabs: Legend has it that their curiosity got the best of 'em. (The plug has been pulled out.) And they pulled the plug. (The orange kid get sucked in.) The entire ocean rusted in the drain and sucked those two kids right down with it. (The green kid attempts to escape, but got sucked in as well.) The drain was so powerful, it pulled all of Bikini Bottom into its gaping maw, causing an apocalypse to the sea! (The drain sucked everything in the ocean, including the water. Cuts back to Mr. Krabs) And nobody was ever heard from...again. (Turns off flashlight.)

SpongeBob: (Turns the light back on.) Where is the Main Drain, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Well it right-I...I don't know where it is! And I'm certainly not going to tell you! (Pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of the restaurant.) So, so, so get out of here and stay away from that drain! No plugs will be pulled on my watch. (Closes the door.)

Patrick: Mr. Krabs sure has a lot of baggage about drain dealings.

SpongeBob: The Main Drain sounds very, very dangerous, I'm never gonna go near that thing.

Patrick: (Determined) We should go find it, to protect it from people like us.

SpongeBob: (Worried) What if we get sucked in like those other two kids?

Patrick: Oh, don't worry, we're not little kids, we're all grown up. (His tooth comes out loose, then pulls it out.) Hey, a baby tooth. (They both walk through the road.)

SpongeBob: Who's been in Bikini Bottom for as long as Mr. Krabs? (Suddenly, SpongeBob accidentally steps on Plankton.)

Plankton: OW! (SpongeBob picks up his foot.)

Patrick: Ew...

SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Plankton! (Peels him off of his shoe while Plankton yells in pain, then he holds out Plankton on his hand.)

Patrick: Let's ask Plankton, he's a geezer.

Plankton: What stupid question do you want the answer to, idiots?

SpongeBob: Patrick and I are trying to find the Main Drain.

Plankton: (Gasps) The Main Drain?? What are you two bothering me for any-I-I-I don't know where the Main Drain is. It's a myth anyway, it doesn't exist!

SpongeBob: Yeah, but Mr. Krabs said...

Plankton: Krabs!? Why that-he was just telling you a fish tale. There's no such thing as a drain at the bottom of the sea. (Jumps out of SpongeBob's hand.) So go on, scram! SHOO! Get out of here! (SpongeBob and Patrick walked away.) Why on Earth would Krabs tell those two blunderers about the Main Drain? (Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking in town.)

SpongeBob: I wonder who else knows about the Main Drain. (Suddenly, they were pulled by two green arms and got dragged into a house in a dark room. Only that it was Old Man Jenkins who pulled them in. He turns on the light.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Old Man Jenkins!

Old Man Jenkins: Why are you two asking about the Main Drain?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs tells us the story of how the Main Drain once destroyed Bikini Bottom.

Patrick: So we've been looking for it.

SpongeBob: Does the Main Drain even exist?

Old Man Jenkins: Oh, it exists all right, but it's been, uh...hushed up...

SpongeBob: (Claps his hands together in hope for an answer.) Where is the drain, O Wise Jenkins?

Old Man Jenkins: ...I have no idea. (SpongeBob and Patrick are disappointed. They left the house.)

SpongeBob: (Immediately faces towards Patrick.) Patrick! We need to find that drain!

Patrick: Why?

SpongeBob: Isn't you curiosity piqued? (Frantic) What if someone accidentally pulls it? What if...What if...?

Patrick (Thinking): Oh, man...I hope this question isn't for me, I hate questions.

SpongeBob: What do you think, Patrick?

Patrick: Ah! (Frantically turns his head left and right) Um...uh...42! Eugh, No! Triangle! Guh, Meatballs! Screwdrivers! Pajamas! (Cries)

SpongeBob: (Confident) I hear ya, Patrick! Let's go find that drain!

Patrick: (Stops crying.) OK. (Cuts to a scene where SpongeBob and Patrick pack their stuff.)

SpongeBob: OK, Patrick, let's start walking! (Walks)

Patrick: Oh, no, thanks. I'm not into the whole "walking" thing. (SpongeBob stops walking and faces towards Patrick.)

SpongeBob: But how will we ever get to the drain?

Patrick: We'll wait for it to come to us.

SpongeBob: (Thinks up an idea.) ...I know! (Takes out his bubble bottle and creates a bus-shaped bubble) What do you think? (Camera shows the newly created bubble bus.)

Patrick: Wow! (The two go in and take their seats.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Road trip! Whoo-hoo! (The bus pops loudly and the two fell.)

SpongeBob: Well, that's out. (They both think again.) I know! (Uses his bubble bottle again and creates large bubbles as balloons for Patrick's home rock. The two then fly, but the bubbles get popped by a group of scallops. They scream and the rock falls down. The camera cuts to Squidward walking.)

Squidward: Another miserable day...(Groans with displeasure. He hears some distant screaming and a shadow casts over him.) Ooh? (Looks up and gets crushed by Patrick's rock.)

SpongeBob: Now what? (They both think once more.)

Patrick: Oh! I know exactly what to do! (Takes the remaining ropes from the bubble balloons and uses them as a horse rein and bites onto them. He them acts like a horse and neighs. Finally, he proceeds to pull the rock like a horse carriage. The rock uncovers a squashed Squidward from the ground.)

Squidward: Oh, that's better...

SpongeBob: Great idea, Patrick! We'll be there in no time! (Patrick hits something.)

Patrick: Ouch! Oh...(Sees the drain.) Hey! I found it!

SpongeBob: Wow, good job.

Patrick: Let's pull it.

SpongeBob: (Frighten) What!? Why would we do that!?

Patrick: Well, that was the whole point of coming here, wasn't it?

SpongeBob: No! We came to see if it is real.

Patrick: Well, how do we know this isn't a fake?

SpongeBob: We...we don't know...

Patrick: We won't know unless we pull it.

SpongeBob: But, if we pull it, and if it's real, the world may end.

Patrick: And if we don't, we'll never know. (Patrick slowly reaches for the plug when suddenly, Mr. Krabs and Plankton shouted.)

Mr. Krabs and Plankton: NOOOOOOO!! (They both quickly run up to SpongeBob and Patrick.)

Mr. Krabs: Boys, there's more to that story of the drain plug. You see...

Plankton: ...we were the two ding-a-lings who pulled that plug. (SpongeBob and Patrick gasped.)

Mr. Krabs: That's right. Plankton and I were wandering around... (Cuts to a scene with a younger Mr. Krabs and Plankton nonchalantly walking to the drain plug and pulling it; the drain them pulled everything and everyone from the entire ocean.) ...You see, we had to lie in order for you to keep away from it.

Plankton: We just didn't want for you to make the same mistake we made.

SpongeBob: Phew! That was a close one!

Patrick: Yeah. We almost messed up big time. (Inhales and exhales in relief, but accidentally pulls the plug.)

SpongeBob: Huh? (Sees the drain plug already pulled out. The drain then starts pulling everything from the entire ocean. SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton then screams and flees. Patrick does the same, but the four gets sucked into the drain. Then, the drain pulls every building and citizen from Bikini Bottom. The entire scenario turns out to be a story told by SpongeBob. The scene cuts to Patrick's bedroom.)

Patrick: (Screams) That's the most realistic scary story I've ever heard. (The sound of the drain plug pulled out and draining the ocean is heard.)

SpongeBob: Guy of most already

Squidward: Patrick!

Patrick: of on out most June 13, 2011, Squidward!

Squidward: Patrick!

Patrick: (Scream) That's the most realistic scary story i've ever heard.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!

Patrick: Sorry!

SpongeBob: Krusty Krabs

Mr. Krabs: Do The Roar

Patrick: Sorry!

Mr. Krabs: Do The Roar

Patrick: Sorry!

Mr. Krabs: Do The Roarrr!

Patrick: Sorry!

Mr. Krabs: Do The Roarrrr!

Plankton: Patrick Roars you that of on out

Patrick Huh! (the sound of balloon pop)

Patrick: DO THE ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sea Bears: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Patrick: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sea Bears: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Mr. Krabs: Do the Roar! Thank You

Squidward: Cake!

Patrick: ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

SpongeBob: (cry spongebob)

Patrick: out of story