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| | ==Dialogue== | | ==Dialogue== |
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| − | Narrator: A very special day in Bikini Bottom<br> | + | Narrator: Bruh |
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I'm ready! (walking up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School with Patrick) I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring
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| − | my flashcards?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Right here, buddy. (takes them out of his pocket) Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. (eats
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| − | the cards) Mmm.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Hey, learning tastes good.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I needed those.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': 57 times.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Well, then 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I'm a winner?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Who's a winner?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (sadly) I'm a winner.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Who's a winner?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (cheered up a little) I'm a winner.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | '''Patrick''': Who's a winner?!<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! (runs into the classroom)<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Narrator: One minute thirty seven seconds later... (SpongeBob walks up sobbing)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': How'd you do, winner? (crying continues) Let's see that license.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I didn't get a license, Patrick.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Are they gonna mail it to you?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': No way! 58 is like the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Let's just go home, Patrick.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': We're not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this. I'm taking that test, myself.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (hanging onto Patrick's pants) No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive. (Patrick's
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| − | pants rip off)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Please, SpongeBob. I think I know what I'm doing.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick. No!<br>
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| − | Mrs. Puff: (Patrick walks up to the boat she is sitting in and gets in it, in his underwear) Good morning.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': You're not the judge of me!<br>
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| − | Mrs. Puff: Actually, I am. Let the testing begin! (clicks pen. Scene cuts to SpongeBob, outside the boating school)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob! SpongeBob!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I'm here for you, buddy.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': I passed my test!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': You got a perfect score?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah, I thought you said it was hard.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Perfect score. (eye twitches)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Come on, I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. (scene cuts to the license registration building. Patrick is standing in front of the camera with a big smile on his face, while SpongeBob is angrily standing nearby with his arms folded)<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | Lady: Stand behind the line, sir.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': (holding his smile) How do I look?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (sarcastically) Like a winner.<br>
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| − | Lady: Ready?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Ready. (banner comes down which says "CONGRATULATIONS" on it. Balloons and confetti fall)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Huh?<br>
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| − | Fish: Congratulations, Mr. Star. You're the one millionth person to pass the test.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Does that mean I get a free key chain?<br>
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| − | Fish: Uhh, no.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Oh.<br>
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| − | Fish: You get a ''brand-new boat mobile!!'' The new Bass Blaster 3000, the ultimate boating machine.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah! All right!<br>
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| − | Fish: Women will want you. (all sigh) Men will want to be you. (all sigh) You'll be the envy of your friends. (SpongeBob
| + | |
| − | growls in fury)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Isn't this great? I got my license and a new boat.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''':("La Cucaracha" horn blows in his face) Whoa!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': The horn works. (scene cuts to Patrick driving his new boat down the road) Whoo! This is the greatest day ever.
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| − | Right, SpongeBob?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Maybe if you apply yourself you could be the two millionth person to get his license.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Two millionth?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Then you can get a free boat just like me.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah, just like you.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': I try to serve as an inspiration to others.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Can we go home now? (zoom out and scene shows Patrick driving around his rock over and over) We've been driving
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| − | around your house for hours.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Thanks for the ride, Patrick.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': No problem, buddy. You can't help being a...pedestrian. (shudders then drives off. SpongeBob grumbles and waves his hands.
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| − | Scene cuts to SpongeBob in bed asleep. His clock turns to 3:00am when an engine revving is heard which sends SpongeBob into
| + | |
| − | his diving board then back into his bed)
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, what are you doing?<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | '''Patrick''': I'm trying to work on my boat mobile! Now could you keep it down? It's 3 in the morning, people are trying to
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| − | sleep. (SpongeBob groans and shuts his window then goes back to bed. Scene cuts to 4:00am)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': 4 o'clock? (yawns. Doorbell rings) Who could be at the door at this hou-- (falls down the stairs. Opens the
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| − | door) Now what is it, Patrick?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': You will never guess what happen to me today.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': You got your license.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah! (shows his license) But that's not all.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': You got a new boat.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah. (suspiciously) Have you been following me? You know, you need to get your own life. (walks off)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (gets back into bed) Oh...I just need a few minutes sleep. (foghorn alarm blows)<br>
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| − | Gary: Meow.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat. (scene cuts to morning where SpongeBob is leaving home to go to work) I'm so
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| − | tired. (horn honks)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work. (tries to take a step but falls down in the process. Scene cuts to
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| − | Patrick driving SpongeBob to the Krusty Krab)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Thanks for the ride.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license...err...I mean, ''if'' you get your license.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boat mobile...<br>
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| − | Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're manning the drive-thru.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': When did we get a drive-thru?<br>
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| − | Mr. Krabs: I realized there's a lot of young people on the go these days. They don't have time to sit down and eat. They're
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| − | too busy out on the open road living their dreams.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I used to have a dream.<br>
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| − | Mr. Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. Now stop dreaming and work for a living.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (through headphones) Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I -- ("La Cucaracha" horn honks. Patrick pulls up to the window)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': The horn still works! (scene cuts to SpongeBob switching the OPEN sign to CLOSED then walking out of work. Patrick
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| − | drives up in a racing uniform) Hey, SpongeBob.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': What's with the helmet, Patrick?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image. (clicks tongue)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Uh-huh. (scene cuts to Patrick driving)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': (smugly) Boy, driving is so easy.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Oh?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Do you want me to give you lessons?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (sarcastic) Oh, that would be great.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Oh! (drives over to SpongeBob’s parents)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy.<br>
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| − | Mr. SquarePants: Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you we're SpongeBob’s mom and dad, not yours?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': What? I'm an orphan? Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test.<br>
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| − | Mrs. SquarePants: That's great, Patrick.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it.<br>
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| − | Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Mom!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Well, I've got to take Mr. Walks-a-lot back home. He's always asking for rides.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (offended) Hey! (Patrick drives off)<br>
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| − | Mr. SquarePants: Even Patrick has a license. (both parents sigh)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Let's see what this baby can do. (steps on the gas. Ride pass a sign that reads 'SPEED LIMIT 40 MPH')<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, the speed limit is 40 miles per hour.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Yeah, yeah.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (reads the speedometer) 40 and a ''half'' miles per hour? That's almost 41 miles per hour. He's speeding. Patrick! Stop this car! (car stops next to a policeman)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': What? Where? Who?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Officer, it is my civilian duty to report that the the driver of this vehicle is speeding! Why don't you clock
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| − | him with your radar gun?<br>
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| − | Officer: Umm...ok. (uses radar gun. It reads 0mph) Actually, he's going 40 miles ''under'' the limit. So, move along before I run you in, tattletale. (drives off)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Are you sure you don't want to run him in? (Patrick grins triumphantly. Scene cuts to Patrick driving. Green light turns red) It's a red light, Patrick! (Patrick runs 3 red lights in a row, resulting in 3 accidents behind them) Patrick, you just ran 3 red lights!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': (smugly) So?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': You're suppose to ''stop!''<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': I think the driving genius... (holds up his license) knows what he's doing!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (enraged) Driving '''''genius?!?!''''' Would a genius make an illegal u-turn... through an orphanage?!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': (confused) They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': '''''I''''' should've gotten that license, and this should be '''''my''''' boat mobile!!!!!!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': How can you say that?! If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': If you were '''''my''''' friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my '''''face!!'''''<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': I'm not rubbing my license in your face! '''''This''''' is rubbing my license in your face! (takes out license and rubs it
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| − | in SpongeBob’s face, which makes muffled noises)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': ''OHHHH, '''GIVE ME THAT!!!!''''' (snatches Patrick's license away) I worked my whole '''life''' for this! You don't deserve this! (tears up Patrick's license then laughs cruelly. Patrick is horrified. The pieces of the license fly into the officers hands)
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| − | Officer: Huh, litterbugs. This is why I joined the force. (drives off after SpongeBob & Patrick)<br>
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| − | SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': It's the police!<br>
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| − | Officer: (over speaker) Pull it over, litterbug!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Litterbug?! No! (drives faster)<br>
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| − | Officer: Ooh, I got me a runner. (a bunch of police cars are following him)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick, what do you think you're doing?<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': I don't know! I don't have a license anymore. (drives around cards, through a sign then off a cliff into the front
| + | |
| − | lot of the Bikini Bottom Jail. Scene cuts to courtroom)<br>
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| − | Judge: 90 days. I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. Sometimes you forget to feed him.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison. He's too soft. Wait! (runs up to the judge) Patrick's
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| − | innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead.<br>
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| − | Judge: Well, considering there's no legal precedent...oh, what the heck. 90 days! (SpongeBob is put in jail)<br>
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| − | Narrator: One debt to society later... (door buzzes. SpongeBob is let go out of jail where Patrick is waiting for him)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Patrick!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob! (both hug)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. (shows
| + | |
| − | him a license plate that reads "PALS 4 EVER") Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Oh, I don't have a boat mobile anymore.<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | '''SpongeBob''': What?<br>
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| − | | + | |
| − | '''Patrick''': It stopped working so I threw it away. The needle was on E and I figured that must mean end.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Oh, then what do we do with this? (Patrick takes it and puts it on his behind)<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': How's that?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Yeah!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Ready, buddy?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Ready, pal. (hops on Patrick's shoulders and makes car noises) Whoo! Whoo!
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| − | {{Transcripts/Season 4}}
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| − | [[Category:Transcript]]
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| − | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
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