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Episode Transcript: Face Freeze!
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Episode Article: Face Freeze!
Characters
Dialogue
(episode begins at the Krusty Krab)
Patrick: Thanks for having lunch with me, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Anything for my bestest buddy. There's no better way I could've spent my lunch break. (slurps his drink and makes a relaxed face) Ahh.
Patrick: That's a pretty cool face. (chuckles) Check you this one out. (chomps and chews)
SpongeBob: (laughs) I love it. What do you think of this? Awoo! (laughs)
Patrick: Oh, hey, how about this? (makes a dolphin call)
SpongeBob: That's awesome! (he and SpongeBob both laugh)
Mr. Krabs: (snores) Ooh. I know that sound. It's the sound of me money being flushed down the toilet! (SpongeBob and Patrick laugh) SpongeBob! Why aren't you manning the fryer?
SpongeBob: Sorry, sir. I got carried away. Patrick and I were making faces at each other.
Patrick: Funny faces make me laugh! (laughs)
Mr. Krabs: What?! Are you out of your liquid-absorbing mind?
SpongeBob: Why, is there something wrong?
Mr. Krabs: Haven't ye ever heard the saying "If you don't stop making that face, it'll freeze that way"?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Uh, no!
Mr. Krabs: Let me tell you the story of... Face Freeze! (thunder claps. SpongeBob and Patrick's teeth are chattering, and both are breathing quickly) It were a cold day, in November, and in Bikini Bottom lived a man who loved to make faces. (Fred, serving as the main "man," walks out of his house and makes a face) And the one he liked best was to stick his tongue out. (Fred makes a raspberry and laughs) But what he really liked, was sticking his tongue at people. (Fred raspberries and laughs. Norma and green Monroe gasp)
Norma Rechid: How rude! (Monroe cries. Fred makes a raspberry)
Mr. Krabs: Until one day, when he stuck his tongue out for the 444th time, (Fred raspberries) his face froze with his tongue sticking out...
Fred: Huh, huh... Huh?
Mr. Krabs: ...permanently!
Mable: Weirdo.
Fred: (muffled) No... no!
Mr. Krabs: He couldn't open his mouth for months. Until one day, his tongue dried up and fell off!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, no!
Mr. Krabs: So are you gonna keep making faces, boys?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Mm-mm.
Mr. Krabs: Good. I hope you've learned your lesson.
SpongeBob: I'm glad Mr. Krabs caught us before it was too late. Let's agree never to make faces again.
'Patrick: Done and done.
SpongeBob: Patrick! Don't even smile. That's considered making a face.
Patrick: Right, gotcha. No problem. Not gonna make faces. No faces... at all.
SpongeBob: Yeah. This is... (gulps) ...easy. How you holding up?
Patrick: Huh, fine. You? (SpongeBob grunts, but makes an T-shaped face and laughs, making Patrick laugh as well) Dun ah eeh. (he and SpongeBob are both laughing until SpongeBob stops and looks at himself)
SpongeBob: Hey! (Patrick is still ignoring him while laughing) Patrick. (pulls out a megaphone) Patrick!
Patrick: What?
SpongeBob: Look at us. We're okay. Our faces didn't freeze. (Patrick is stretching)
Patrick: Gosh, you're right.
SpongeBob: Guess, Mr. Krabs made a mistake. Well, now that we know his tall tale isn't true, let's make lots of faces.
Patrick: You mean like this? (stretchs his face) Ree eeh eeh! (he and SpongeBob laugh. SpongeBob growls. Patrick laughs) Aye yi yi yi!
SpongeBob: (laughs) Aw! (montage of SpongeBob and Patrick making grotesque faces begins)
Patrick: Phee!
SpongeBob: Ay yi yi yi yi yi!
Patrick: Dun ree ah yee!
SpongeBob: Doy doy doy doy!
Patrick: Ah ah ooh!
SpongeBob: Duh!
Patrick: Aydh!
SpongeBob: Awoot duh doo!
Patrick: Looo ooo ooo!
SpongeBob: Day ah dah da dah! (he and Patrick laugh) I can't breathe! (grabs a mirror and they look into it) Well, still no frozen faces. Let's really put this myth to the test. Let's see what happens when I hold one face for a long time.
Patrick: Yes! But, how to choose just one? Um, well, let's see. Oh, oh... How about an eye cross, (makes his eyes go up to the top of his head) uh? And then slip into an overbite. (pulls out upper jaw) And the finishing touch. (sticks his tongue out) Gah lowh.
SpongeBob: (chuckles) Delightfully wicked, my friend. I call this one... (pushes his nose, makes his mouth bigger and puts out his eyeballs on the top of his head) ...The Gary. Meow!
Patrick: (chuckles) Gloriously disgusting, sir.
SpongeBob: Let's not keep these grotesque faces to ourselves. Let us share them with the whole wide sea. (he and Patrick laugh. Bubble-wipe to Goo Lagoon, where SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing. They come out of the ocean. Everybody swims away screaming)
Sandy: (paddling up on a surfboard) You two need help. (SpongeBob and Patrick laugh again. Bubble-wipe to a tent placed near the Conch Street houses that night)
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! (turns on a flashlight, revealing himself and SpongeBob as silhouettes. Both are heard laughing. Turns off the flashlight) Hey, SpongeBob! (turns on the flashlight again. Once again, SpongeBob and Patrick are heard laughing. Turns off the flashlight again) Hey, SpongeBob! (flashlight is turned on for a third time. SpongeBob and Patrick are heard laughing yet again. Cut to inside the tent)
SpongeBob: It never gets so old! (Patrick turns off the flashlight. Squidward rips open the tent)
Squidward: Do you mind?!
SpongeBob: Mind what? Making faces? Of course were don't. (he and Patrick laugh)
Patrick: You got that right, pal! What a silly question.
SpongeBob: Your turn, Squidward, let's see your crazy face.
Squidward: I don't wanna make faces. I want to sleep! D-de-de-de-Da!
SpongeBob: That's a good one right there. (he and Patrick laugh)
Patrick: Oh, good one, Squidward!
Squidward: Let's try a new game. Let's combine whatever you get out of whatever this is you're doing with the quiet of sleep!
SpongeBob: Interesting challenge, but let's raise the stakes even higher. Patrick, I'll bet you can't keep that face all night, while you sleep!
Patrick: Oh yeah? Watch me. (both sleep)
Squidward: Whatever works. (bubble-wipe to the next morning. The sun rises]
SpongeBob: (wakes up and looks at Patrick; surprised) Wow, Patrick, you did hold that face all night!
Patrick: Actually, I can't move my face at all. (feels his face. It doesn't move whatsoever)
SpongeBob: I can't move my face either!
Patrick: (oblivious and excited) All right! We did it!
SpongeBob: No, Patrick! It's not all right, this means Mr. Krabs was right! (Patrick realizes the situation and gets scared) Patrick, we have the face freeze! (both scream) Patrick, Sandy was right, we need help!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy! Sandy! (bubble-wipe to Sandy's Treedome)
Sandy: Hmm, this may get tricky. Y'all need to relax them facial muscles, what y'all need is a massage.
SpongeBob: And you're a licensed masseuse, right, Sandy?
Sandy: Well, I shouldn't say licensed. Just sit back, relax, and let my gentle mammalian hands melt away that tension. (Sandy's hands, which are looking creepy, are shown. Bubble-wipe to her "fixing" SpongeBob and Patrick's faces and, by extension, their bodies) You seem to be carrying a lot of stress in your eyeballs. Them shoulders look way outta line. I can feel them knots just meltin' away. Let's see if I can just finesse that jaw line back in place. (later, Sandy is done) Phew! Okay, you two. Bad news first. That wicked face freeze ain't going nowhere. But, y'all are looking much more relaxed. (pulls out a mirror, which reveals that SpongeBob's and Patrick's faces are more deformed. Bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Hello, Mr. Krabs. (walks with his back towards him to the kitchen and Mr. Krabs goes in as well)
Mr. Krabs: Hey, you all right, boy? Eh, look a little cattywampus walking in here.
SpongeBob: Doing fine, Mr. Krabs. Just grillin' and grillin'...
Mr. Krabs: Ahem. Uh, but what's with the skewed posture? (touches SpongeBob's head and SpongeBob knocks his claw away)
SpongeBob: Oh, did you hear that? Someone somewhere just dropped a penny.
Mr. Krabs: (gasps) Penny? Where?! Where?! (looks for a penny)
SpongeBob: That'll buy me some time.
Squidward: Let's go, SpongeBob, the orders are piling up.
SpongeBob: I'm on it, Squidward! (starts slicing an onion, but onion juice gets in his eyes) Onion juice! Ah!
Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob! Chop, chop!
SpongeBob: Okay, okay. (falls but retrieves the Krabby Patties on his back) Ow! Phew. Order up.
Squidward: You deliver it, I'm on break.
Mr. Krabs: Penny, penny, penny, penny, penny, penny, penny, penny. (sniffs) Penny, penny, penny, penny, penny...
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs is still distracted. Now's my chance. (passes Mr. Krabs)
Mr. Krabs: (sniffs) Penny, penny, penny, penny, penny, penny...
SpongeBob: Your order is served, sir.
Harold: (gasps when he sees that SpongeBob's lips are drooling on the patties) I'm sorry, I did not order a side of lips with my patty!
SpongeBob: Oh, dear.
Harold: (takes money out of register) I'm taking my clams elsewhere. (as SpongeBob tiptoes behind Mr. Krabs on the way back to the kitchen, Krabs takes notice of Harold leaving and chases him to the door)
Mr. Krabs: Wait, come back!
SpongeBob: Why, oh, why, why did I have to make a face? (whimpers)
Mr. Krabs: What's going on back here? Why are we losing business?
SpongeBob: Um, how should I know? I'm just the cook in these parts.
Mr. Krabs: Face me when I'm talking to you, boy-o. (SpongeBob turns around with his face down) So I can see your face.
SpongeBob: Hey, have you seen this, Mr. Krabs? (shows him a rolling trick) My impersonation of a burrito!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you better stand up this instant or... huh? (sees Patrick walk in with the "face freeze")
Patrick: (sees Mr. Krabs and gets worried) Oh. Is this a bad time, SpongeBob?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I see what's going on here. (picks up SpongeBob and turns to see his frozen face) A-ha! You just had to keep making faces, didn't ya? You couldn't heed me warning, could ya?
SpongeBob: (in guilt) I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. We thought it was just one of your stories.
Mr. Krabs: I'm losing business because you thought I was telling one of me stories?! Why, this makes me so angry! I could just... just... just... ah! (gets angry, which causes him to give himself the face freeze) No! I can't move me face. I've got the face freeze, too!
Squidward: What is the hold up in here—?
SpongeBob: Wait, Squidward, don't get worked up! You could get the face freeze!
Squidward: Face freeze? I thought that was a myth? Ha! Krabs too! (begins laughing hard) This is rich! Ha ha ha! Oh. (sees Patrick and begins laughing very hard but he too gets the face freeze) Hey, my face! Ah, my face. Oh, great, look at what you've done. (begins crying)
Mr. Krabs: Look! Squidward has it, too! (all three begin laughing while Squidward keeps crying)
Squidward: Hey, it's not funny! Stop laughing!
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