Episode Transcript: Bummer Jobs

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Episode Article: Bummer Jobs

Characters

Dialogue

(episode begins with the episode's title appearing on the screen. Squidward appears to be fishing for something on what seems like a dock)

Squidward: (sighs happily) Nothing like a relaxing morning fishing... (camera zooms out to reveal that Squidward is fishing on the roof of the star house) ...for a deadbeat! (laughs evilly. Appears to be moving the line up and down, and someone is straining to catch it) Gotcha! You're paying for your newspaper subscription today, Mr. Star. (strains) Huh? What the...? (opens up the newspaper to discover that all the coupons from the newspaper are gone and grumbles angrily in response. Inside the Star house, Patrick and Squidina are watching television, while Cecil is holding tons of coupons)

Cecil: Would you look at that? I just made six bucks in coupons from a magic floating newspaper!

Squidina: Way to go, Dad!

Cecil: Time to get ready! (begins tying his tie) The sea bunny runs around the coral away from the barracuda and then hops back in his hole. (it's shown that Cecil made it a little too tight)

Bunny: (arrives) So dapper. (kisses Cecil, who then chuckles) We'll be back later!

Patrick: Wait! (jumps off the couch and grunts) "Be back" means that you left. Where you going?

Cecil: To our jobs, of course.

Patrick: (confused) What is jobs? (moves his jaw sideways)

Bunny: (whispers to Cecil) Dear, I think it's time for the talk. (Cecil then walks over to a little Patrick who looks like he's ready for a baseball game)

Cecil: (calmly) Put down the baseball mitt, son. (Patrick does so) You see, Patrick, when an employee and an employer love each other very much, a brand-new job is born! (Patrick looks in awe)