Episode Transcript: Bummer Jobs

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  • [The episode begins with the title design appearing on the screen. Squidward appears to be fishing for something on what seems like a dock.]
  • Squidward: [sighs happily] Nothing like a relaxing morning fishing... [The camera zooms out to reveal Squidward fishing on the roof of the star house.] ...for a deadbeat! [laughs evilly]
  • [He appears to be moving the line up and down, and someone is straining to catch it. Then, when he reels it up...]
  • Squidward: Gotcha! You're paying for your newspaper subscription today, Mr. Star. [strains] Huh? What the...? [he opens up the newspaper to discover that all the coupons from the newspaper are gone and grumbles angrily in response]
  • [Inside the Star house, Patrick and Squidina are watching TV, while Cecil is holding tons of coupons.]
  • Cecil: [happy] Would you look at that? I just made six bucks in coupons from a magic floating newspaper!
  • Squidina: Way to go, Dad!
  • Cecil: Time to get ready! [tying his tie] The sea bunny runs around the coral away from the barracuda and then hops back in his hole. [it then shows that Cecil made it a little too tight.]
  • Bunny: [just arriving in the room] So dapper. [kisses Cecil, who then chuckles] We'll be back later!
  • Patrick: Wait! [jumps off the couch and grunts] "Be back" means that you left. Where you going?
  • Cecil: To our jobs, of course.
  • Patrick: [confused] What is jobs? [moves his jaw sideways]
  • Bunny: [whispers to Cecil] Dear, I think it's time for the talk.
  • [Cecil then walks over to a little Patrick who looks like he's ready for a baseball game.]
Cecil: [calmly] Put down the baseball mitt, son. [Patrick does just that] You see, Patrick, when an employee and an employer love each other very much, a brand-new job is born! [Patrick looks in awe.]
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