Episode Transcript: Ain't That the Tooth

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Episode Article: Ain't That the Tooth

Characters

[THIS TRANSCRIPT NEEDS TO BE FULLY FLESHED OUT]

Dialogue

SpongeBob: La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la. Hi, Patrick! I just had another great-- wait a minute. Hey, what's wrong?

Patrick: I think I'm growing a nose. I don't want a nose!

SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Hey, look, Patrick. You just lost a tooth. And if you put that tooth under your pillow tonight, the Tooth Fairy will come and take the tooth and leave you a quarter.

Patrick: A quarter for just one tooth? Jackpot! (time card appears)

French Narrator: Later that night...

Patrick: Good night, teethies.

Dorsal Dan: Who says a life of crime doesn't pay? Huh?

Patrick: Sleep punch!

Dorsal Dan: Whoa! Ow!

Patrick: Who goes there? The Tooth Fairy! I gotta show SpongeBob!

Dorsal Dan: Hey, come on!

Patrick: SpongeBob! You were right! The Tooth Fairy came, and I got him! (Dorsal Dan screams)

SpongeBob: Ooh!

Dorsal Dan: I didn't do it!

SpongeBob: Patrick, you-you-you really did catch the Tooth Fairy!

Patrick: I told ya!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow.

Patrick: He didn't give me a quarter, but look. I found these precious jewels in his bag.

Dorsal Dan: What are you chowderheads yapping about? Tooth Fairy?

SpongeBob: Don't worry. You don't have to play dumb with us. Your secret is safe.

Patrick: Please let us ride along with you tonight.

SpongeBob: And be your Tooth Fairy assistants.

Dorsal Dan: Yeah. I'm the Tooth Fairy. And I could use a little help scoring loot-- I mean, collecting teeth.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay!

Dorsal Dan: It's gonna be a long night.

SpongeBob: Ooh, hey! I bet we could find some teeth here. Pull over. (Dorsal Dan screams and pulls over) Now, this guy drinks a lot of soda, so I'm sure he's got a few loose teeth for us.

Patrick: Let's get him.

Dorsal Dan: Here, use these special Tooth Fairy masks.

Crab Thief: Ha-ha-ha!

Dorsal Dan: Amateurs.

Patrick: Hey, look, it's Bubble--

Dorsal Dan: Can it! Now, why don't you mugs shake down Tiny here for some teeth? Huh? Only the Tooth Fairy gets to laugh like that.

SpongeBob: Shh. I don't feel any teeth, Patrick.

Patrick: Well, I feel a bunch of them. Ooh.

SpongeBob: This one's really loose. I'm sure the Tooth Fairy won't mind if we help it out. Ah!

Bubble Bass: Barnacle Boy! Hmm.

Dorsal Dan: Agh!

SpongeBob: Ooh, is this where you keep the pillow money? Wow, teeth are sure worth a lot these days.

Patrick: Come on, let's get more teeth. You've got the best job ever.

Dorsal Dan: Whoa-- oof!

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ooh. Whoa! Whoa! Oh, oh!

Dorsal Dan: Mm.

SpongeBob: Whoa.

Dorsal Dan: Right, ah, oh. (screams) You stooges really gave the Tooth Fairy a lot of help tonight. Even if you also gave me a headache.

Patrick: I like helping!

Dorsal Dan: Well, I think we got time for one last job if you're in.

SpongeBob: Hey! That's where Mr. Krabs lives. He's my daytime boss. You're my nighttime boss. Wait. Watch out for booby traps. I helped Mr. Krabs install the security system myself, so--

Patrick: Here's one! I'll disarm it!

SpongeBob: Patrick, no! (Patrick's already disarmed it)

Patrick: Oops.

Mr. Krabs: Hello? Who's down there? I'm calling the police. Yes, police? Come quick! I heard a noise.

SpongeBob: Oh, no, we woke him up! Let's get out of here. (Dorsal Dan screams, but is shushed by SpongeBob and Patrick)

Mr. Krabs: Whaa... ah, SpongeBob, Patrick. What in the name of Poseidon's pantaloons are you doing? Why have you tripped me burglar alarm? And why do you have those burglar sacks? And why are you wearing burglar masks? And why are you with that burglar? Wait a minute. Are you burglars?

Patrick: I'll take a burglar with cheese.

SpongeBob: We're not burglars. We were just assisting the Tooth Fairy here.

Dorsal Dan: Hello.

Mr. Krabs: That ain't no Tooth Fairy. I should know. I sold all my teeth to the real Tooth Fairy years ago.

Dorsal Dan: Oh, no, the fuzz! You gotta get me out of here!

SpongeBob: I don't know. Mr. Krabs says you're not the real Tooth Fairy.

Dorsal Dan: Huh? Of course I am! You just gotta believe! That's all, yeah.

Patrick: I believe in you, Tooth Fairy!

SpongeBob: Goodbye, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Those two are so gullible. Oh, look! This rope says "pull me."

Pearl: Wah!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa! (Dorsal Dan screams once again)

SpongeBob: We can't go any farther!

Dorsal Dan: The jig is up! What are we gonna do?

SpongeBob: You're a Tooth Fairy! You can fly! Fly to safety!

Dorsal Dan: What?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Fly! (they throw Dorsal Dan. He screams)

SpongeBob: Don't forget your teeth!

Patrick: Or your boat! (Dorsal Dan is still screaming as he falls)

SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, I get the feeling that wasn't the real Tooth Fairy.

Tooth Fairy: Of course not! But I am!

SpongeBob and Patrick: The real Tooth Fairy?

Tooth Fairy: You two did a wonderful job collecting teeth all night. Therefore, I'm going to make you honorary Tooth Fairy assistants. Abraca-dental.

SpongeBob: Ooh.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Huh?

SpongeBob: Ah, come on!

Patrick: A tooth!

SpongeBob: And a quarter.

Tooth Fairy: Abraca-dental!

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