Episode Transcript: Toy Store of Doom

SpongeBob and Patrick are relaxing on Squidward's couch.

SpongeBob: Huh...Patrick

Patrcik: Yeah?

SpongeBob: Whaddya wanna do today?

Patrick: I don't know.

SpongeBob: Well, I guess we could play something. How about a yo-

Patrick: No.

SpongeBob: -yo? Buried Treasure Board Game?

Patrick: Nah.

SpongeBob: Dollies?

Patrick: Hm.....no. No. Nope. No. Uh-uh. Nope. No. SpongeBob: How about this?

Old Man Jenkins: Hello.

Patrick: Uh-uh.

SpongeBob: Hey, we could play with our Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy action figures! Ew. Barnacle Boy's all chewed up. And slimy.

Patrick: (chewing a Mermaid Man action figure) Yeah, that'll happen.

SpongeBob: Ugh, there is just nothing to play with.

Patrick: Well, there's gotta be somethng we can do.

Squidward: (walks out of the shower) Ladda-de ladd-dum ladda-do... Hey what are you doing in my house?

SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward. Can you think of anything fun we can do?

Squidward: GET OUT! Patrick: We hadn't thought of that one.

Squidward: (pushes SpongeBob, Patrick, and a pile of toys out the door) I believe this pile belongs to you. (throws Old Man Jenkins out the door)

Old Man Jenkins: Where we goin' now, boys?

Patrick: I'm so bored. There's gotta be something we can do! (A helicopter drops a billboard.)

SpongeBob and Patrick:(reading) It's Coming! (not reading) Oh, boy! (singing) It's coming! It's coming! It's coming!

Patrick: (reading another billboard) Almost there! (reading another billboard) Here it is!

SpongeBob: (reading another billboard) Welcome to Bikini Bottom's newest... (reading another billboard) Toy store! (not reading) Well, we're here.

Patrick: Where's the toy store?

SpongeBob: Well, I guess it's not open yet.

Patrick: Not...open? (a crane drops the new toy store on the ground.)

Construction worker: What are you cryin' about?

Patrick: We wanted to go to the toy store, but it's not open yet.

Construction worker: Well, it's open now. Look! See? Feel better now?

Patrick: Mm-hm.

Construction woker: Then quit yer cryin' and get in there! (throws Patrick into the toy store)

SpongeBob: I got it. (throws himself into the toy store) Patrick! Patrick, get up...

Patrick: Uh, no thanks. I'm good down here.

SpongeBob: Look. Wow! (gasp!) Patrick, look at that. (points at a cashier)

Patrick: Wow.

Steve the cashier: Can I help you?

SpongeBob: That depends. Tell me. Do you like to sing?!

Steve: Oh, no.

Narrator: Several song-filled hours later...

SpongeBob: (singing) Toy storious! Toys! La, la! Yeah! (not singing) Hey, Patrick.

Patrick: (winding a wind-up toy) Hey, SpongeBob. What's with the tutu?

SpongeBob: It's not a tutu! It's a man-tu! You can tell because it has extra support. I got the last one.

Patrick: Uh-huh. (lets go of the wind-up toy. It rams into a fish.)

Fish: Aaahhhhhhhhh!

SpongeBob: What a great day! I hope it never ends!

Patrick: Never!

Voice on loudspeaker: Attention, shoppers, the store is now closed. Please exit immediately.

Baby: I don't wanna go!

Timmy: Dad! I want it! No!

SpongeBob: Aw, the store's closing. We'll have to leave now.

Patrick: What part of "never" do you not understand?

SpongeBob: Patrick, we have to leave.

Patrick: I'm not moving.

SpongeBob: But they'll just come and kick us out!

Patrick: Not if we hide.

SpongeBob: Hide? Isn't that kinda sneaky?

Patrick: Oh, it's sneaky alright. Very sneaky. C'mon, haven't you ever wanted to have a toy store all to yourself.

SpongeBob: No. But I do now. What do we do first?

Patrick: We need to find a hiding place where they'll never find us. And I know just the place.

Guard worm: (barks and sniffs a doll house)

Security guard: Come on. Let's go. The store is empty, so go ahead and lock it up, Frank.

Steve: My name is Steve

Security guard: Whatever floats yer boat, Frank.

Patrick: The coast is clear. (tries to get out of the doll house) Push, SpongeBob! Push! Push, man, push! (squeezes out of the doll house) Okay, SpongeBob gimmie your hand. That's my boy. Brace yourself. (pulls SpongeBob out of the doll house)

SpongeBob: Thanks, pal. Well, we did it. Yay!

Patrick: Yay! Oh, this is so awesome.

SpongeBob: Nothing can ruin it! (The lights turn off.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: (run through the store while screaming. They eventually crash into each other.)

SpongeBob: Patrick, is that you?

Patrick: What?

SpongeBob: I said, "Is that you?"

Patrick: I can't hear you! It's too dark in here! Don't worry. I'll just use my Night Vision.

SpongeBob: You have Night Vision?

Patrick: (turns on his Night Vision) Yeah.

SpongeBob: How long have you had that?

Patrick: Remember that flashlight I stuck in my ear?

SpongeBob: Oh, yeah.

Patrick: Well, I guess it worked its way into my brain. (The flashlight burns out.) Shoot! The batteries are dead! It's dark... and scary!

SpongeBob: Calm down, buddy. We just need to find a light switch. But ya have to put me down first.

Patrick: Yeah. Right, SpongeBob. I let you down, we find the light switch, and everything turns all peachy.

SpongeBob: Yes.

Patrick: Look around you, SpongeBob! We're surrounded!

SpongeBob: By... toys?

Patrick: That...want...to...get us.

SpongeBob: Gah!!!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Aaahhhhhh!!!! (They see a shadow of a moving figure). Aaahhhh! (The shadow continues to chase them, so they hide in a gumball machine).

Patrick: Are we gonna hide in here for the rest of our lives?

SpongeBob: No.

Patrick: Are we going to the lady's room again?

SpongeBob: No. We're going to fight back and we are going to win!

SpongeBob and Patrick: (grab cans of bubbles, licorice ropes, and more. They gear up and try to look like men in the army). Patrick: That was fun! Now let's dress up as fairy princesses! (The shadow appears and is revealed to be the toy that Patrick had wound up earlier).

SpongeBob: Ready, Patrick?

Patrick: Let's get some!

SpongeBob and Patrick: (blow bubbles at the wind-up toy. It does nothing). Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Nothing can stop it!

SpongeBob: It was nice knowin' ya, pal.

Patrick: I know. I'm an interesting guy. (The toy stops. Patrick winds it up again).

SpongeBob: Patrick, don't!

Patrick: What?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Aaahhhhhhhh!

Steve: (opens the store again) The Toy Barrel is now open for business. Prepare for more fun than you've ever had.

Kids: (cheering)

SpongeBob and Patrick: (run out of the store)

SpongeBob: My eyes!!

Patrick: With Neptune as my witness, may you never experience the unholy terrors that are inside that store. Hey, they're open! (runs to the store) I love toys!