Transcript: Astrology with Squidward - "Cancer"

(The short starts with a purple background, and Squidward on a orangish circle that says "ASTROLOGY WITH SQUIDWARD" doing a squat which is a form of yoga)

Announcer: And now, Astrology with Squidward... (the scene cuts to Squidward playing his clarinet with a poster with a blue circle with the text saying "CANCER" and Mr. Krabs on it)

Squidward: (playing his clarinet) Happy Birthday to "Cancer." sign of the Krab. Not all Cancerians are "Krabby." But they are all good at causing problems and then blaming them on others. Many famous thiviers and elected officials are cancers. My prediction for cancer this week: you will fall asleep 7 times. (a sound effect is heard) Don't worry, you'll wake up. I'm your Nick to Astrologer Squidward reminding you that is bad marma to eat animated seafood. (plays his clarinet, as the scene cuts back to the circle, ending the short)