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Episode Transcript: The Inmates of Summer
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Episode Article: Mermaidman vs SpongeBob
Characters
Dialogue
(Scene takes place at the Bikini Bottom Dock & Shipyard ~according to the sign~, where some children are about to go on a trip to somewhere. We then see these children in colorful uniforms waiting in line for a boat. SpongeBob is seen in the uniform, but has piles of luggage. SpongeBob touches his stuff twice gently, and both times let out a small ding of clean-ness. He then claps his hands like he's playing the cymbals, to get rid of the dirt. We then hear a voice.)
Voice: HEY SPONGEBOB! (We then see that it's Patrick. He's running to the dock for SpongeBob.) SPONGEBOB! (He then falls into the water, and tries to get out, while talking underwater. We then see these 3 children fish looking down at him. Patrick then climbs the deck where SpongeBob is, and gets up. He's now in front of SpongeBob.) You forgot to tell me you're leaving! (They both start to have water in their eyes, then very crying-like mouths.)
SpongeBob: Well Patrick, I guess... (Both wobbling in sadness.) I did. (Both then hug each other and both start to cry as if they're making a river of tears.)
Patrick: I'm gonna miss you, buddy!
SpongeBob: Me too, Patrick, me too! (In the background, we can start to hear happy music and some marching. We then see what the boat is, and we see the children singing. The sign says, "Camp Sun-N-Fun or Bust!" The children are singing: "Sun Fun Island; get some fun. Sun Fun Island, here we come. Sun Fun Island; to get some fun!" *Cries of joy can be heard.* Confetti starts falling, and SpongeBob and Patrick are still crying. The children can still be heard singing along to the song. Another boat comes up, but it's metal platted, and doesn't look too friendly. We then see people wearing black and white stripped hats and overalls wearing handcuffs, marching to the boat. They look like prisoners. We then see that it has wires with pointed blades on them at the top, and barred windows. At the entrance, we see this Warden looking out. SpongeBob and Patrick are still crying. They then suddenly give in, and stop crying.)
SpongeBob: Oh Patrick, if I had only known how hard not saying goodbye could be... (SpongeBob then gets an idea, and we hear the idea bell. SpongeBob yells like he got an idea. He then starts studdering on how good the idea is.)
Patrick: Well, see you later, bud. (SpongeBob grabs him and interupts.)
SpongeBob: PATRICK, THAT'S IT! You can come with me to summer camp! Then I'd never have to say goodbye!
Patrick: Summer camp? But I'm not even ready yet!
SpongeBob: How about now?
Patrick: Yep! (We then see the normal bubble transition. We're now in the entrance to the scary boat with the Warden in front of it)
SpongeBob: (to the Warden) ...this stuff is just my carry-on, quarter. (We see them smiling, with SpongeBob carrying 2 purses, and Patrick holding a wooden coffin.) The rest of my things are right over there. (SpongeBob points to where they are, and the Warden gets angry, and starts growling. SpongeBob tosses his stuff to the Warden, and runs in. Patrick does the same.
Patrick: Weee! Haha!
SpongeBob: Oh and quarter, thanks! (He tosses a quarter to the Warden. The Warden gets so angry, he burns a whole through the coffin, but very calmly. He starts to move his eyes in a swiftly manner, and tosses the stuff to the body of water. He goes in, locks the door with metal bars with pointy ends, and leaves with the stuff on the dock. We then see fog everywhere. We see SpongeBob, up close, looking out on the barred window. The camera zooms out, and we see the boat SpongeBob was suppose to be on.)
SpongeBob: Boy, that looked like a boring boat to be on, huh, guys? (He looks back in the boat, and we see the prisoners. SpongeBob is smiling, but the prisons are not. They're sitting there, on benches in the middle of the room, with annoyed-mean expression on their face. A light bulb is swinging around in the background.) Guys? (We then see lightning strike, and we see their destination: a small island, filled with rocky, pointy-edged, rocks that seem would kill you if you touched it. There's a fort in the middle, with barbed wire at the top, and an open room in the middle. They're all standing there in a corner. We zoom in there, and the door slams opened. We see the Warden go in, and as he comes in, we hear his footsteps, and see the prisons watch in silence, with sweat on their face. We then see the Warden's boots walking towards them. We get a close up of the people, and see all but SpongeBob and Patrick are having that same look. SpongeBob and Patrick have their mouths shapped like an "o", with them looking at the Warden in amazement. We then see a closeup of the Warden's face, and he has a tense expression on his face.)
Warden: Welcome to Inferno Island! (We then see SpongeBob and Patrick, screaming with joy.) WHAT IN THE SEVEN SEAS JUST INSULTED MY EAR DRUM? Could that had been an unrequested sound-off? Well, it must had been my imagination! And you can all thank your lucky stars that (He gets in their faces) I have a VERY ACTIVE IMAGINATION! Because it so happens that it is my sworn duty to think of fun things to do with the trash that society has thrown away!
SpongeBob: (Whispering to Patrick) I had always preferred to recycle. (Everyone starts to snicker, except the Warden. We hear a whistle, and then we span up to SpongeBob and Patrick.)
Warden: HOLY FISHPASTE! We got ourselves a couple of "rabble rousers". What's your name, son?
SpongeBob: SpongeBob SquarePants! (He says it very happily.)
Warden: And are you a rabble rouser?
SpongeBob: (Chuckles for a second) Funny you should ask... once I had...
Warden: Well I hope you aren't, because you sure look mighty tastey. It isn't too soon after breakfast for me to want to CHEW SOMEBODY'S HEAD OFF!
Patrick: (Whispers to SpongeBob) Actually, I am a little hungry.
Warden: HUNGRY?! Barney, fetch these two poor hungry souls a snack. ON THE DOUBLE! (Barney then comes back and throws tires in front of them. SpongeBob and Patrick look at the tires, and we hear bicycle horns going off. We then see the Warden and Barney, and we hear SpongeBob and Patrick eat the tires. We then see some prisoners.)
Prisoner #1: Ohh. These guys are tough! (We then see SpongeBob and Patrick with full bellies.)
Patrick: The food coma is setting in.
SpongeBob: Yeah. I could use a nap. (The Warden comes up quickly, and startles them.)
Warden: DID YOU JUST SAY A NAP?! Well, I know the perfect place for you two to go digest aftereat. (We see them smiling, and the bubble transition comes up again. We see them both in a hole in the ground that's shaped like a cube, and with a barred window-like door at the top.) A couple days in the hole never hurt anybody. (They close the door, and we go to SpongeBob and Patrick. We see SpongeBob laying on a corpse.)
SpongeBob: This camp is very upscale! (We then see 3 prisoners carrying a metal tub labled "chum" on it. At the top, we do see some chum dripping out. We then see the chum has a bone, shoe, and an eyeball in it. The prisoners then dump it into the hole.
Patrick: I had no idea that they had a hot tub! (We then see a timecard that says "Three days later".)
Warden: Alright! Let them out! (Someone who looks like Barney opens the door. The Warden looks at the prisoners.) Now pay attention, worms. Watch the way they crawl out on their bellies, begging for mercy, and see what's waiting for you, next time you fell up to same way these two did! (Warden looks at them, and notices. We see SpongeBob and Patrick with their body all chunky. SpongeBob's head is like a boxed bubble, and Patrick is all chubby.)
SpongeBob: It was quite an enjoyable soap, but it wasn't until this guy got thirsty and decided to drink the bath water!
Patrick: Not bad! Except for this aftertaste. (Patrick's breath reachs its way to the Warden and the Warden smells it. His eyes get big in disgust. The prisoners are now coughing, because it smells so bad.)
Warden: Cut your traps, all of ya, because of that little outburst, I am going to treat you all to an activity so heart-wrenchingly boring, it physically exhausting, that it is GARANTEED to render your souls broken beyond repair!
SpongeBob & Patrick: YAY! (Another bubble transition occurs, and then we are at in a mine, where the prisoners are mining the rocks. They all look bored, except for SpongeBob and Patrick.)
SpongeBob: This is a pretty fun camp game, huh Patrick?
Patrick: Yeah!
SpongeBob: Its made it even more fun and challenging by the fact that we're wearing these heavy ankleweights. (We zoom out to a view of Inferno Island, where we see it's storming even worse. We then go in where they sleep.)
'Warden: (In background. We now see SpongeBob in "bed".) Good night, ladies! (We then hear the prisoners complaining, and then SpongeBob pats his pillow, grabs it, and notices that it's made out of paper. SpongeBob gets on the side of his bed and sighs.)
Patrick: What's wrong, SpongeBob? (We now know that Patrick is on the bottom bunk.)
SpongeBob: The other campers just aren't having as much fun as you and me.
Patrick: If only we could think of some sort group activity that we can all do together, then we would all be having the same amount of fun as each other. (Patrick rolls to his right, and we hear sliding.) Good night! (We then hear the usual idea noise, and we see SpongeBob has a lightbulb above his head.)
SpongeBob: THAT'S IT! We'll show him we can be self-starters! (We see a bubble transition, and then we see SpongeBob at a desk, typing on a typewriter, with a lamp on. The clock says 9:00, and we then see SpongeBob from the typewriter's point of view, and there are mounds of typed papers. SpongeBob is pushing the typewriter keys one by one, with one finger each. We see the clock again, and it says 7:30. SpongeBob then gets in front of the door labeled "Warden", with his pile of papers in front of him. SpongeBob then slides each paper under the door, one by one, until the whole thing is inside. Then we go to the place where they sleep, and we hear the Warden blow his whistle.)
Warden: Rise and shine! (Everyone gets in a line in front of the Warden.) Now, which one of you vile, low-down, vile miserable rechet swine left this pathetic, worthless, horror and meaningless... (Breathes deeply.)
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob then raises his right arm, and points with one finger up.) Uh... abomination?
Warden: Who said that?
SpongeBob: Me, sir! (SpongeBob waves with his right arm, while being perky.)
Warden: What is the meaning of this thing?
SpongeBob: It's a play, for our amusement, and inspiration! (Warden backs up, and looks like he's in shock, and then ponders.)
Warden: Good. Well then, I'll watch your play, and I will enjoy every act of your pathetic, meaningless, ridiculous, production. You know why?
Prisoner #2: Uhh... because you cherish the fine art of dysbarism?
Warden: NO! Because this will be the last act you will ever perform in your pathetic lives! So, get to it! And I'd better be truely entertained!
SpongeBob: COOL! (We see the bubble transition, and we see them working on building a steam-powered boat, while the others are mining.)
Prisoner #3: Kid's wasting his time. (Stops, and notices they're making a boat.)
SpongeBob: All done! (We zoom out, and see it. It really is an actual boat.)
Prisoner #3: You thinkin what I'm thinkin?
Prisoner #4: Hmmmmm...
Prisoner #3: IT'S A BOAT, YOU SIMPLETON! What do boats do?
Prisoner #4: Ummm... make soap?
Prisoner #3: NO! (He slaps #4.) You nucklehead! They float, away from this island, with all of us on board! (All of the prisoners huddle up.) Now, here's the plan: (We now hear whispering, and we're unable to tell what they say. They then turn to the boat.) Hey, buddy! Need some help?
SpongeBob: Really?
Prisoner #3: Sure! (We then see a timecard that says "Opening Night". We then see an actual red curtain and stage lights at the dock. We see 3 chairs in the front of it. They all sit down. One of the guards is holding popcorn and the Warden is holding a program that's labeled, "Play Bill". The curtain then rises, and we then see SpongeBob looking through a spysWardene.)
SpongeBob: I forgivesmen, what forces blow the merryments of gallery?
Prisoner #3: (The prisoners are now seen behind the curtains.) GET READY! (The others grunt, and then suddenly become happy.)
It's weee, here to sing the song of merrytime for all of day.
Together! (Patrick is playing an electric guitar.)
Together! TOGETHER! (Patrick is playing an electric drum set.)
Together! (Patrick is playing a synthesizer.)
Together! Together! Together! ToGETHER.
Life the boat, upon the sea!
Together!
We're happy, because we're working.
Together!
That's the way, it's 'ought to be!
Together!
Just you, and you, and you, and you, climbing!
Together! Togeeeetttthhhher! TOGETHER!
(Curtain goes down, and the show ends. Warden and the guards are now clapping and screaming with joy. One of them is throwing roses at the stage. Warden starts to cry.)
Warden: I-I-I had never seen anything so beautiful... (hugs the guards)
Prisoner #3: Ok, let's do it! (They start to sail away.)
SpongeBob: Uh... Hey guys! What are you doing?
Prisoner #3: We're breaking out of here, yeah, that's what! ESCAPIN'! Oh, uh thanks for the convincin' stage crap! (They start to sail away. Warden and the guards are seen again and are still clapping.)
Warden: Encore! Encore! Encore! Do it again! (Curtain raises by itself, revealing the boat is gone, and SpongeBob and Patrick are standing there, all by themselves.) WHAT THE?! (The boat starts to sink, as they sail away. We then notice that the boat isn't complete, as it only had one side. They stay there in the water, and claim they can't swim. SpongeBob and Patrick bow. Another bubble transition comes up, and we all see them standing in line, all wet. We see the Warden walking back and forth.)
Warden: I'm stuffed. I can't even begin to imagine a punishment appropriate for what has happened here tonigh'! Bert cannot attempt to describe the disgusting, vile, th-th-the complete disregard for the story tradition of musical theatre. So, startin' this very moment, every one of you will be sentenced to... (We hear "Ahoy" in the background. Warden turns around and sees someone through his spysWardene.)
'Camp Counselor: Hello? Yoo-who?
Warden: WHAT IN THE NAME OF... (The Camp Counselor goes up on the deck, and coughs for swimming hard.) For Neptune's sake man, speak to Kingsengly!
Camp Counselor: I'm... I'm Camp Counselor Crouss from Sun Fun Island!
Warden: Your who-what?
Camp Counselor: Well, I was doing roll call and discovered one of my Sun-funners was missing! I came to take him back with me. A-e SpongeBob-eh SquarePants? (Prisoners then get an idea, and pretend to be SpongeBob.)
Warden: ENOUGH. So tell me Counselor, just what do they do on your Sunny Funny Island?
Camp Counselor: Well, we uh make macaroni art...
Warden: EEE GAD.
Camp Counselor: And we sing campfire songs!
Warden: Ahck!
Camp Counselor: Oh and we help and support each other. (Warden's head explodes with scary thoughts.)
Warden: These heinous activities sound like torture too severe for even the lowest, filthiest, undeserving... (He gets an idea.) Wait a minute! I have a brilliant idea! (We now see plates with glue and macaroni on them. The prisoners are making noises in responce to what they're doing. They hate it. Prisoner #4 made a smiley face out of it.')
Camp Counselor: (To Prisoner #4) Oh, that is very good, mister! (We see others complaining and crying. SpongeBob and Patrick sigh. They both say each other's names at the same time.)
SpongeBob: You first.
Patrick: I... I like the other island better!
SpongeBob: ME TOO! (Both start crying uncontrolably.)
