Episode Transcript: Roller Cowards

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*[[Tom]]
 
*[[Tom]]
  
Spongebob: (reading a story to Gary)And then, the little ugly mollusk ran all the way home... (Patrick busts through the wall with his TV in his hand)<br>
+
SpongeBob: (reading a story to Gary)And then, the little ugly mollusk ran all the way home... (Patrick busts through the wall with his TV in his hand)<br>
  
Patrick: Spongebob, you gotta see this. It's an emergency broadcast on my TV! TV Announcer: The day you've been waiting for  
+
Patrick: SpongeBob, you gotta see this. It's an emergency broadcast on my TV! TV Announcer: The day you've been waiting for  
 
is almost here. That's right. Glove World has a new ride. It's big... (roller coaster goes above the water then back down  
 
is almost here. That's right. Glove World has a new ride. It's big... (roller coaster goes above the water then back down  
 
into it)<br>
 
into it)<br>
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TV Announcer: It's the "Fiery Fist O' Pain". Opening tomorrow only at Glove World.<br>
 
TV Announcer: It's the "Fiery Fist O' Pain". Opening tomorrow only at Glove World.<br>
  
Patrick: Tomorrow! Spongebob, we gotta get to bed so we can be first in line! (Patrick hangs onto his TV and goes back to  
+
Patrick: Tomorrow! SpongeBob, we gotta get to bed so we can be first in line! (Patrick hangs onto his TV and goes back to  
his rock. Scene cuts to Spongebob sleeping)<br>
+
his rock. Scene cuts to SpongeBob sleeping)<br>
  
Spongebob: Glove World. Roller coaster. First in line. (Spongebob dreams of him and Patrick at Glove World. When they walk  
+
SpongeBob: Glove World. Roller coaster. First in line. (SpongeBob dreams of him and Patrick at Glove World. When they walk  
 
past the popcorn stand, it turns into a maggot stand and smoke fills the air)<br>
 
past the popcorn stand, it turns into a maggot stand and smoke fills the air)<br>
  
Spongebob: Excuse me, which way to the Fist O' Pain? (Grim Reaper points to his left. Spongebob and Patrick float over to  
+
SpongeBob: Excuse me, which way to the Fist O' Pain? (Grim Reaper points to his left. SpongeBob and Patrick float over to  
 
the ride. When they get in it, it goes up, above the water. They scream as it goes down. Lightning strikes the tracks and  
 
the ride. When they get in it, it goes up, above the water. They scream as it goes down. Lightning strikes the tracks and  
 
makes the roller coaster fly off the track)<br>
 
makes the roller coaster fly off the track)<br>
  
Spongebob: It's the name of amusement, no...! (Spongebob and Patrick fall out of the coaster and into graves with their  
+
SpongeBob: It's the name of amusement, no...! (SpongeBob and Patrick fall out of the coaster and into graves with their  
 
names on the tombstones. A digger puts all the dirt back in the hole)<br>
 
names on the tombstones. A digger puts all the dirt back in the hole)<br>
  
Spongebob: (screams) I don't want to ride the Fiery Fist O' Pain! (cut to next morning when Spongebob's alarm goes off but  
+
SpongeBob: (screams) I don't want to ride the Fiery Fist O' Pain! (cut to next morning when SpongeBob’s alarm goes off but  
 
he didn't sleep the whole night. Patrick appears by his bed)<br>
 
he didn't sleep the whole night. Patrick appears by his bed)<br>
  
 
Patrick: You ready to ride the Fist O' Pain?<br>
 
Patrick: You ready to ride the Fist O' Pain?<br>
  
Spongebob: No! Well, yeah. It's just that I had a bad dream last night.<br>
+
SpongeBob: No! Well, yeah. It's just that I had a bad dream last night.<br>
  
 
Patrick: Really? Me too!<br>
 
Patrick: Really? Me too!<br>
  
Spongebob: What was your dream about, Patrick?<br>
+
SpongeBob: What was your dream about, Patrick?<br>
  
 
Patrick: Oh, look, the bus is here! (runs toward the bus)<br>
 
Patrick: Oh, look, the bus is here! (runs toward the bus)<br>
  
Spongebob: Wait for me, Patrick. (both get on the bus) Whoo! Fiery Fist O' Pain, here we come.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Wait for me, Patrick. (both get on the bus) Whoo! Fiery Fist O' Pain, here we come.<br>
  
 
Boy: Yeah, dudes, we're all riding the Fist O' Pain.<br>
 
Boy: Yeah, dudes, we're all riding the Fist O' Pain.<br>
Line 66: Line 66:
 
Boy #2: (laughing) Yeah, me too.<br>
 
Boy #2: (laughing) Yeah, me too.<br>
  
Spongebob: Boy, the Fist O' Pain sounds...<br>
+
SpongeBob: Boy, the Fist O' Pain sounds...<br>
  
 
Patrick: Really, really scary. I mean fun-ifying. I mean horror-tastic. I mean fun-ible! Fun, really, really fun.<br>
 
Patrick: Really, really scary. I mean fun-ifying. I mean horror-tastic. I mean fun-ible! Fun, really, really fun.<br>
  
Spongebob: Yeah, really fun. (bus stops at Glove World and Spongebob & Patrick get off)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Yeah, really fun. (bus stops at Glove World and SpongeBob & Patrick get off)<br>
  
Spongebob: That sure looks like fun.<br>
+
SpongeBob: That sure looks like fun.<br>
  
Patrick: Yeah, I can't wait to ride it. (all the passengers on the bus run out and grab Spongebob & Patrick while cheering)
+
Patrick: Yeah, I can't wait to ride it. (all the passengers on the bus run out and grab SpongeBob & Patrick while cheering)
 
<br>
 
<br>
  
All: Yes, we're here! Whoo! (Spongebob & Patrick are carries into a brick wall)<br>
+
All: Yes, we're here! Whoo! (SpongeBob & Patrick are carries into a brick wall)<br>
  
 
Employee: Tickets, please. (Spongebob looks in his pockets but no ticket)<br>
 
Employee: Tickets, please. (Spongebob looks in his pockets but no ticket)<br>
  
Spongebob: No ticket. I must have left it at home.<br>
+
SpongeBob: No ticket. I must have left it at home.<br>
  
 
Patrick: I swallowed my ticket.<br>
 
Patrick: I swallowed my ticket.<br>
  
Spongebob: I guess we're not gonna be riding the Fist O' Pain today.<br>
+
SpongeBob: I guess we're not gonna be riding the Fist O' Pain today.<br>
  
 
Employee: Hold on a second, there's your tickets in your back pockets. (grabs them both)<br>
 
Employee: Hold on a second, there's your tickets in your back pockets. (grabs them both)<br>
  
Spongebob: Oh, barnacles. (cut to later when Spongebob and Patrick are walking around the amusement park) It sure was lucky  
+
SpongeBob: Oh, barnacles. (cut to later when SpongeBob and Patrick are walking around the amusement park) It sure was lucky  
 
we found our tickets.<br>
 
we found our tickets.<br>
  
 
Patrick: Yeah, bad luck. I mean good luck, very good luck.<br>
 
Patrick: Yeah, bad luck. I mean good luck, very good luck.<br>
  
Spongebob: There it is. The line looks awfully long.<br>
+
SpongeBob: There it is. The line looks awfully long.<br>
  
 
Patrick: Oh, I know! Let's go on some of the dumb kiddie rides first.<br>
 
Patrick: Oh, I know! Let's go on some of the dumb kiddie rides first.<br>
  
Spongebob: Yeah, and then the Fist O' Pain will seem even cooler. (both run off)<br>
+
SpongeBob: Yeah, and then the Fist O' Pain will seem even cooler. (both run off)<br>
  
 
Patrick: Phew.<br>
 
Patrick: Phew.<br>
  
Spongebob: Can you believe some people are afraid to ride roller coasters?<br>
+
SpongeBob: Can you believe some people are afraid to ride roller coasters?<br>
  
 
Patrick: Yeah, only a real baby would be afraid of a roll... Whoa!<br>
 
Patrick: Yeah, only a real baby would be afraid of a roll... Whoa!<br>
  
Spongebob: I can't believe it, Patrick. It's Glovey Glove! (a giant glove costume is standing in front of them) Get over  
+
SpongeBob: I can't believe it, Patrick. It's Glovey Glove! (a giant glove costume is standing in front of them) Get over  
 
there and I'll take your picture with him. (Patrick moves a few steps into the camera so he's not too close to Glovey  
 
there and I'll take your picture with him. (Patrick moves a few steps into the camera so he's not too close to Glovey  
  
Line 113: Line 113:
 
Patrick: Uh-uh.<br>
 
Patrick: Uh-uh.<br>
  
Spongebob: Come on, closer. (Patrick moves a little closer) That's it, a little more. Now hold onto his thumb. Give me a  
+
SpongeBob: Come on, closer. (Patrick moves a little closer) That's it, a little more. Now hold onto his thumb. Give me a  
 
big smile. (takes the picture)<br>
 
big smile. (takes the picture)<br>
  
Line 119: Line 119:
 
is laughing on one of the kiddie rides)<br>
 
is laughing on one of the kiddie rides)<br>
  
Spongebob & Patrick: The Mitten!<br>
+
SpongeBob & Patrick: The Mitten!<br>
  
Spongebob: (clears throat) I mean, The Mitten.<br>
+
SpongeBob: (clears throat) I mean, The Mitten.<br>
 
Patrick: That ride's for babies.<br>
 
Patrick: That ride's for babies.<br>
  
Spongebob: Yeah. Let's ride it just to see how baby-fied it is. (both walk over and get into the ride, with the little kid.  
+
SpongeBob: Yeah. Let's ride it just to see how baby-fied it is. (both walk over and get into the ride, with the little kid.  
 
When they gove over a bump, they scream. When the ride is over, they get out and both are shivering)<br>
 
When they gove over a bump, they scream. When the ride is over, they get out and both are shivering)<br>
Patrick: I guess that ride was too much for the little guy. (cut to Spongebob and Patrick standing in line by the Fiery  
+
Patrick: I guess that ride was too much for the little guy. (cut to SpongeBob and Patrick standing in line by the Fiery  
 
Fist O' Pain)<br>
 
Fist O' Pain)<br>
  
Spongebob: Well, the line looks a little bit shorter now. Can you believe that some people are scared of this ride? (both  
+
SpongeBob: Well, the line looks a little bit shorter now. Can you believe that some people are scared of this ride? (both  
 
chuckle nervously)<br>
 
chuckle nervously)<br>
  
Line 135: Line 135:
 
Glove World)<br>
 
Glove World)<br>
  
Old Fish: Oh why, why, why? (Spongebob and Patrick scream and run off) Why won't you let me on the ride?<br>
+
Old Fish: Oh why, why, why? (SpongeBob and Patrick scream and run off) Why won't you let me on the ride?<br>
  
 
Employee #2: Sir, you have a serious medical condition.<br>
 
Employee #2: Sir, you have a serious medical condition.<br>
  
Old Fish: But it's my birthday! (cut to Spongebob and Patrick running through a line, cheering)<br>
+
Old Fish: But it's my birthday! (cut to SpongeBob and Patrick running through a line, cheering)<br>
  
 
Patrick: Yeah!<br>
 
Patrick: Yeah!<br>
  
Spongebob & Patrick: One more time!<br>
+
SpongeBob & Patrick: One more time!<br>
  
 
Tom: You know, this is the line for the bathroom.<br>
 
Tom: You know, this is the line for the bathroom.<br>
  
Spongebob: (laughs) We've gone eight times.<br>
+
SpongeBob: (laughs) We've gone eight times.<br>
  
 
Patrick: And I went three times all by myself.<br>
 
Patrick: And I went three times all by myself.<br>
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Tom: I'm going to walk away now. (does so)<br>
 
Tom: I'm going to walk away now. (does so)<br>
  
Spongebob: Bye.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Bye.<br>
  
 
Patrick: Have fun! (Larry walks up)<br>
 
Patrick: Have fun! (Larry walks up)<br>
  
Larry: Spongebob! Patrick!<br>
+
Larry: SpongeBob! Patrick!<br>
  
Spongebob: Hello, Larry.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Hello, Larry.<br>
  
 
Larry: I just got off the Fist O' Pain. Man, what a rush. (sniffs his armpit then sighs in relief as a green odor is  
 
Larry: I just got off the Fist O' Pain. Man, what a rush. (sniffs his armpit then sighs in relief as a green odor is  
released from under his arm) You smell that? That's the smell of adrenaline. (Spongebob and Patrick's eyebrows disintegrate)
+
released from under his arm) You smell that? That's the smell of adrenaline. (SpongeBob and Patrick's eyebrows disintegrate)
 
<br>
 
<br>
  
Spongebob: Oh, it's, uh... (holding breath) very manly, Larry.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Oh, it's, uh... (holding breath) very manly, Larry.<br>
  
Larry: (picks up Spongebob and smells him) Spongebob, I'm not smelling any adrenaline on you. You haven't gone on the ride?
+
Larry: (picks up SpongeBob and smells him) SpongeBob, I'm not smelling any adrenaline on you. You haven't gone on the ride?
 
<br>
 
<br>
  
Spongebob: Um, I have a confession to make. We haven't gone on the ride because I'm... hungry. I'm very hungry. Hungry,  
+
SpongeBob: Um, I have a confession to make. We haven't gone on the ride because I'm... hungry. I'm very hungry. Hungry,  
 
hungry! (runs off)<br>
 
hungry! (runs off)<br>
  
Line 177: Line 177:
 
Patrick: I'm hungry, too. (runs off)<br>
 
Patrick: I'm hungry, too. (runs off)<br>
  
Larry: Maybe I should stop making people smell me. (cut to Spongebob and Patrick sitting at a table, eating ice cream, and  
+
Larry: Maybe I should stop making people smell me. (cut to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting at a table, eating ice cream, and  
 
looking at the explosions on the Fist O' Pain)<br>
 
looking at the explosions on the Fist O' Pain)<br>
  
 
Patrick: Want some?<br>
 
Patrick: Want some?<br>
  
Spongebob: No thanks, Patrick. Um, you got ice cream in your eyebrows.<br>
+
SpongeBob: No thanks, Patrick. Um, you got ice cream in your eyebrows.<br>
  
 
Patrick: Yeah, that's the problem with this brand. I'll be right back. (walks off)<br>
 
Patrick: Yeah, that's the problem with this brand. I'll be right back. (walks off)<br>
  
Spongebob: Hurry back so we can go on the ride. (sees the roller coaster drop and plants his face in the table, talking as  
+
SpongeBob: Hurry back so we can go on the ride. (sees the roller coaster drop and plants his face in the table, talking as  
the ice cream) What's the matter, Spongebob? Oh, delicious dairy treat, I don't know what to do. (talking as the ice cream)  
+
the ice cream) What's the matter, SpongeBob? Oh, delicious dairy treat, I don't know what to do. (talking as the ice cream)  
 
Patrick's your best friend. You can't let him down. I know, but the ride is really scary. (talking as the ice cream) You  
 
Patrick's your best friend. You can't let him down. I know, but the ride is really scary. (talking as the ice cream) You  
 
wanna see scary? I'll show you scary! (hits himself in the head with the ice cream) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
 
wanna see scary? I'll show you scary! (hits himself in the head with the ice cream) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Spongebob: (talking as the ice cream) You like that? You like that? Huh, you like that? (cut to the bathroom where Patrick is talking to himself in the mirror)<br>
+
SpongeBob: (talking as the ice cream) You like that? You like that? Huh, you like that? (cut to the bathroom where Patrick is talking to himself in the mirror)<br>
  
 
Patrick: It's just a ride. What are you so scared about? You can do it.<br>
 
Patrick: It's just a ride. What are you so scared about? You can do it.<br>
Line 197: Line 197:
  
 
Patrick: Oh, yeah? (punches his reflection, without breaking the glass) I thought we'd settled this the last time! (cut to  
 
Patrick: Oh, yeah? (punches his reflection, without breaking the glass) I thought we'd settled this the last time! (cut to  
Spongebob still hitting himself in the head with the ice cream)<br>
+
SpongeBob still hitting himself in the head with the ice cream)<br>
  
Spongebob: Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it!<br>
+
SpongeBob: Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it!<br>
Patrick: (runs back) Spongebob, I have to tell you something.<br>
+
Patrick: (runs back) SpongeBob, I have to tell you something.<br>
  
Spongebob: I have to tell you something too, Patrick.<br>
+
SpongeBob: I have to tell you something too, Patrick.<br>
  
 
Man: (over speaker) Attention. Glove World will be closing in five minutes.<br>
 
Man: (over speaker) Attention. Glove World will be closing in five minutes.<br>
  
Spongebob & Patrick: Five minutes?! (both run over to the ride. An employee comes over and cleans up the ice cream)<br>
+
SpongeBob & Patrick: Five minutes?! (both run over to the ride. An employee comes over and cleans up the ice cream)<br>
  
 
Ice Cream: What are you looking at? (cut to the ride)<br>
 
Ice Cream: What are you looking at? (cut to the ride)<br>
  
Spongebob: (reads the sign) Warning! This ride may cause: screaming, projectile vomiting, amnesia, spine loss,  
+
SpongeBob: (reads the sign) Warning! This ride may cause: screaming, projectile vomiting, amnesia, spine loss,  
 
embarrassing accidents, uncontrollable gas...<br>
 
embarrassing accidents, uncontrollable gas...<br>
  
Spongebob & Patrick: ...and explosive diarrhea.<br>
+
SpongeBob & Patrick: ...and explosive diarrhea.<br>
  
Spongebob: Is that all? <br>
+
SpongeBob: Is that all? <br>
  
 
Patrick: Big deal, I did half that stuff this morning.<br>
 
Patrick: Big deal, I did half that stuff this morning.<br>
  
Man: (over speaker) Last call for the Firey Fist O' Pain.
+
Man: (over speaker) Last call for the Fiery Fist O' Pain.
  
Spongebob: Well, this is it, Pat.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Well, this is it, Pat.<br>
  
 
Patrick: Yep. <br>
 
Patrick: Yep. <br>
  
Spongebob: Here we go.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Here we go.<br>
  
 
Patrick: Uh-huh.<br>
 
Patrick: Uh-huh.<br>
  
Spongebob: On the Fiery Fist O' Pain.<br>
+
SpongeBob: On the Fiery Fist O' Pain.<br>
  
 
Patrick: After you. (both sit down in the ride)<br>
 
Patrick: After you. (both sit down in the ride)<br>
  
Spongebob: We made it.<br>
+
SpongeBob: We made it.<br>
  
 
Patrick: Yeah.<br>
 
Patrick: Yeah.<br>
Line 240: Line 240:
 
up) There.<br>
 
up) There.<br>
  
Employee #4: Now if you could just sign this release, involving Glove World in case of accidental spine loss... (Spongebob
+
Employee #4: Now if you could just sign this release, involving Glove World in case of accidental spine loss... (SpongeBob
 
signs his name) Well, nice knowing you.<br>
 
signs his name) Well, nice knowing you.<br>
  
 
Employee #3: Ready in ten...<br>
 
Employee #3: Ready in ten...<br>
  
Spongebob: This is it, Patrick.<br>
+
SpongeBob: This is it, Patrick.<br>
  
 
Employee #3: Nine, eight...<br>
 
Employee #3: Nine, eight...<br>
  
Spongebob: We made it!<br>
+
SpongeBob: We made it!<br>
  
 
Employee #3: Seven, six...<br>
 
Employee #3: Seven, six...<br>
Line 257: Line 257:
 
Employee #3: Five, four...<br>
 
Employee #3: Five, four...<br>
  
Spongebob: We're not crybabies.<br>
+
SpongeBob: We're not crybabies.<br>
  
 
Employee #3: Three, two...<br>
 
Employee #3: Three, two...<br>
  
Spongebob & Patrick: We're brave!<br>
+
SpongeBob & Patrick: We're brave!<br>
  
Employee #3: One... (when he presses the 'GO' button, Spongebob and Patrick scream, but the roller coaster breaks down)<br>
+
Employee #3: One... (when he presses the 'GO' button, SpongeBob and Patrick scream, but the roller coaster breaks down)<br>
 
Man: (over speaker) Uh, we're experiencing some technical difficulties.<br>
 
Man: (over speaker) Uh, we're experiencing some technical difficulties.<br>
  
Employee #3: Man, this cheap thing is always breaking down. Hey, sorry guys. Maybe next time. (Spongebob and Patrick sigh  
+
Employee #3: Man, this cheap thing is always breaking down. Hey, sorry guys. Maybe next time. (SpongeBob and Patrick sigh  
 
in relief)<br>
 
in relief)<br>
  
Spongebob: Patrick, I have a confession to make. I was really scared about going on this ride.<br>
+
SpongeBob: Patrick, I have a confession to make. I was really scared about going on this ride.<br>
 
Patrick: Me too.<br>
 
Patrick: Me too.<br>
  
Spongebob: I didn't know how to tell you because, well, I didn't want to disappoint you.<br>
+
SpongeBob: I didn't know how to tell you because, well, I didn't want to disappoint you.<br>
  
 
Patrick: I didn't want you to be disappointed in me.<br>
 
Patrick: I didn't want you to be disappointed in me.<br>
  
Spongebob: But now we don't have to face our fears. The ride is broken.<br>
+
SpongeBob: But now we don't have to face our fears. The ride is broken.<br>
  
 
Patrick: Yeah! (employee comes back)<br>
 
Patrick: Yeah! (employee comes back)<br>
Line 282: Line 282:
 
Employee #3: Oh, wait, it's fine.<br>
 
Employee #3: Oh, wait, it's fine.<br>
  
Spongebob & Patrick: Huh?<br>
+
SpongeBob & Patrick: Huh?<br>
Employee #3: Have fun. (presses the 'GO' button again. Spongebob and Patrick take off but their wrapping amd helmets have come off)<br>
+
Employee #3: Have fun. (presses the 'GO' button again. SpongeBob and Patrick take off but their wrapping and helmets have come off)<br>
  
Spongebob: Patrick, I don't want to face my fears. I'm afraid of them! (when they get to the top, it stops for a moment)  
+
SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't want to face my fears. I'm afraid of them! (when they get to the top, it stops for a moment)  
 
Good-bye, Patrick.<br>
 
Good-bye, Patrick.<br>
  
Patrick: Good-bye, Spongebob. (Coaster starts again, dropping and going through a saw, a flaming fist, and a laser. When  
+
Patrick: Good-bye, SpongeBob. (Coaster starts again, dropping and going through a saw, a flaming fist, and a laser. When  
the coaster drops at a 90 degree angle, Spongebob and Patrick's skeleton's fly through the air while their bodies go down  
+
the coaster drops at a 90 degree angle, SpongeBob and Patrick's skeleton's fly through the air while their bodies go down  
 
with the coaster. Their skeleton's fly into them as they go up, out of the water, but when they sit up, they the other  
 
with the coaster. Their skeleton's fly into them as they go up, out of the water, but when they sit up, they the other  
one's skeleton. The coaster drops into the ground, causing an explosion. When the ride is over, Spongebob & Patrick are  
+
one's skeleton. The coaster drops into the ground, causing an explosion. When the ride is over, SpongeBob & Patrick are  
 
holding each other, shaking)<br>
 
holding each other, shaking)<br>
  
Line 298: Line 298:
 
Employee #3: It's over. You can get out now.<br>
 
Employee #3: It's over. You can get out now.<br>
  
Spongebob & Patrick: We did it! (both get out and run around in circles)<br>
+
SpongeBob & Patrick: We did it! (both get out and run around in circles)<br>
  
Spongebob: We conquered our fears! We survived the Fist O' Pain.<br>
+
SpongeBob: We conquered our fears! We survived the Fist O' Pain.<br>
  
Employee #3: Hey, hold it right there. (holds up Spongebob and Patrick's spines) You forgot these.<br>
+
Employee #3: Hey, hold it right there. (holds up SpongeBob and Patrick's spines) You forgot these.<br>
  
Spongebob & Patrick: Our spines! (grab their spines) Yeah! (when they grab them, they start to wiggle their bodies and then  
+
SpongeBob & Patrick: Our spines! (grab their spines) Yeah! (when they grab them, they start to wiggle their bodies and then  
 
bend them backwards. They laugh)<br>
 
bend them backwards. They laugh)<br>
  
Spongebob: Let's go again!<br>
+
SpongeBob: Let's go again!<br>
  
 
Patrick: Yeah!
 
Patrick: Yeah!

Revision as of 13:15, 17 April 2008

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Krabs a la Mode Bucket Sweet Bucket

Episode Article: Roller Cowards

Characters

SpongeBob: (reading a story to Gary)And then, the little ugly mollusk ran all the way home... (Patrick busts through the wall with his TV in his hand)

Patrick: SpongeBob, you gotta see this. It's an emergency broadcast on my TV! TV Announcer: The day you've been waiting for is almost here. That's right. Glove World has a new ride. It's big... (roller coaster goes above the water then back down into it)

TV Announcer: It's fast... (two fish are riding a roller coaster so fast, the man flies off of it)

Lady Fish: Harold, no!

TV Announcer: It's painful... (roller coaster crashes into the ground, causing an explosion)

TV Announcer: It's the "Fiery Fist O' Pain". Opening tomorrow only at Glove World.

Patrick: Tomorrow! SpongeBob, we gotta get to bed so we can be first in line! (Patrick hangs onto his TV and goes back to his rock. Scene cuts to SpongeBob sleeping)

SpongeBob: Glove World. Roller coaster. First in line. (SpongeBob dreams of him and Patrick at Glove World. When they walk past the popcorn stand, it turns into a maggot stand and smoke fills the air)

SpongeBob: Excuse me, which way to the Fist O' Pain? (Grim Reaper points to his left. SpongeBob and Patrick float over to the ride. When they get in it, it goes up, above the water. They scream as it goes down. Lightning strikes the tracks and makes the roller coaster fly off the track)

SpongeBob: It's the name of amusement, no...! (SpongeBob and Patrick fall out of the coaster and into graves with their names on the tombstones. A digger puts all the dirt back in the hole)

SpongeBob: (screams) I don't want to ride the Fiery Fist O' Pain! (cut to next morning when SpongeBob’s alarm goes off but he didn't sleep the whole night. Patrick appears by his bed)

Patrick: You ready to ride the Fist O' Pain?

SpongeBob: No! Well, yeah. It's just that I had a bad dream last night.

Patrick: Really? Me too!

SpongeBob: What was your dream about, Patrick?

Patrick: Oh, look, the bus is here! (runs toward the bus)

SpongeBob: Wait for me, Patrick. (both get on the bus) Whoo! Fiery Fist O' Pain, here we come.

Boy: Yeah, dudes, we're all riding the Fist O' Pain.

Boy #2: I heard somebody rode it and his spine fell out.

Boy: (laughing) Dude, I hope my spine falls out.

Boy #2: (laughing) Yeah, me too.

SpongeBob: Boy, the Fist O' Pain sounds...

Patrick: Really, really scary. I mean fun-ifying. I mean horror-tastic. I mean fun-ible! Fun, really, really fun.

SpongeBob: Yeah, really fun. (bus stops at Glove World and SpongeBob & Patrick get off)

SpongeBob: That sure looks like fun.

Patrick: Yeah, I can't wait to ride it. (all the passengers on the bus run out and grab SpongeBob & Patrick while cheering)

All: Yes, we're here! Whoo! (SpongeBob & Patrick are carries into a brick wall)

Employee: Tickets, please. (Spongebob looks in his pockets but no ticket)

SpongeBob: No ticket. I must have left it at home.

Patrick: I swallowed my ticket.

SpongeBob: I guess we're not gonna be riding the Fist O' Pain today.

Employee: Hold on a second, there's your tickets in your back pockets. (grabs them both)

SpongeBob: Oh, barnacles. (cut to later when SpongeBob and Patrick are walking around the amusement park) It sure was lucky we found our tickets.

Patrick: Yeah, bad luck. I mean good luck, very good luck.

SpongeBob: There it is. The line looks awfully long.

Patrick: Oh, I know! Let's go on some of the dumb kiddie rides first.

SpongeBob: Yeah, and then the Fist O' Pain will seem even cooler. (both run off)

Patrick: Phew.

SpongeBob: Can you believe some people are afraid to ride roller coasters?

Patrick: Yeah, only a real baby would be afraid of a roll... Whoa!

SpongeBob: I can't believe it, Patrick. It's Glovey Glove! (a giant glove costume is standing in front of them) Get over there and I'll take your picture with him. (Patrick moves a few steps into the camera so he's not too close to Glovey

Glove) Get closer, Patrick.

Patrick: Uh-uh.

SpongeBob: Come on, closer. (Patrick moves a little closer) That's it, a little more. Now hold onto his thumb. Give me a big smile. (takes the picture)

Patrick: How do I look? (pictures shows Patrick touching Glovey Glove with only a finger) Wow, I look great. (a little kid is laughing on one of the kiddie rides)

SpongeBob & Patrick: The Mitten!

SpongeBob: (clears throat) I mean, The Mitten.
Patrick: That ride's for babies.

SpongeBob: Yeah. Let's ride it just to see how baby-fied it is. (both walk over and get into the ride, with the little kid. When they gove over a bump, they scream. When the ride is over, they get out and both are shivering)
Patrick: I guess that ride was too much for the little guy. (cut to SpongeBob and Patrick standing in line by the Fiery Fist O' Pain)

SpongeBob: Well, the line looks a little bit shorter now. Can you believe that some people are scared of this ride? (both chuckle nervously)

Patrick: Yeah, it's perfectly safe. No one gets hurt riding these rolley coasters. (an old fish is wheel chaired out of Glove World)

Old Fish: Oh why, why, why? (SpongeBob and Patrick scream and run off) Why won't you let me on the ride?

Employee #2: Sir, you have a serious medical condition.

Old Fish: But it's my birthday! (cut to SpongeBob and Patrick running through a line, cheering)

Patrick: Yeah!

SpongeBob & Patrick: One more time!

Tom: You know, this is the line for the bathroom.

SpongeBob: (laughs) We've gone eight times.

Patrick: And I went three times all by myself.

Tom: I'm going to walk away now. (does so)

SpongeBob: Bye.

Patrick: Have fun! (Larry walks up)

Larry: SpongeBob! Patrick!

SpongeBob: Hello, Larry.

Larry: I just got off the Fist O' Pain. Man, what a rush. (sniffs his armpit then sighs in relief as a green odor is released from under his arm) You smell that? That's the smell of adrenaline. (SpongeBob and Patrick's eyebrows disintegrate)

SpongeBob: Oh, it's, uh... (holding breath) very manly, Larry.

Larry: (picks up SpongeBob and smells him) SpongeBob, I'm not smelling any adrenaline on you. You haven't gone on the ride?

SpongeBob: Um, I have a confession to make. We haven't gone on the ride because I'm... hungry. I'm very hungry. Hungry, hungry! (runs off)

Larry: Come on, Patrick. You and me, pal?

Patrick: I'm hungry, too. (runs off)

Larry: Maybe I should stop making people smell me. (cut to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting at a table, eating ice cream, and looking at the explosions on the Fist O' Pain)

Patrick: Want some?

SpongeBob: No thanks, Patrick. Um, you got ice cream in your eyebrows.

Patrick: Yeah, that's the problem with this brand. I'll be right back. (walks off)

SpongeBob: Hurry back so we can go on the ride. (sees the roller coaster drop and plants his face in the table, talking as the ice cream) What's the matter, SpongeBob? Oh, delicious dairy treat, I don't know what to do. (talking as the ice cream) Patrick's your best friend. You can't let him down. I know, but the ride is really scary. (talking as the ice cream) You wanna see scary? I'll show you scary! (hits himself in the head with the ice cream) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! SpongeBob: (talking as the ice cream) You like that? You like that? Huh, you like that? (cut to the bathroom where Patrick is talking to himself in the mirror)

Patrick: It's just a ride. What are you so scared about? You can do it.

Reflection: No you can't. You're a big crybaby.

Patrick: Oh, yeah? (punches his reflection, without breaking the glass) I thought we'd settled this the last time! (cut to SpongeBob still hitting himself in the head with the ice cream)

SpongeBob: Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it!
Patrick: (runs back) SpongeBob, I have to tell you something.

SpongeBob: I have to tell you something too, Patrick.

Man: (over speaker) Attention. Glove World will be closing in five minutes.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Five minutes?! (both run over to the ride. An employee comes over and cleans up the ice cream)

Ice Cream: What are you looking at? (cut to the ride)

SpongeBob: (reads the sign) Warning! This ride may cause: screaming, projectile vomiting, amnesia, spine loss, embarrassing accidents, uncontrollable gas...

SpongeBob & Patrick: ...and explosive diarrhea.

SpongeBob: Is that all?

Patrick: Big deal, I did half that stuff this morning.

Man: (over speaker) Last call for the Fiery Fist O' Pain.

SpongeBob: Well, this is it, Pat.

Patrick: Yep.

SpongeBob: Here we go.

Patrick: Uh-huh.

SpongeBob: On the Fiery Fist O' Pain.

Patrick: After you. (both sit down in the ride)

SpongeBob: We made it.

Patrick: Yeah.

Employee #3: Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. (buckles them, puts on helmets, and wraps them up) There.

Employee #4: Now if you could just sign this release, involving Glove World in case of accidental spine loss... (SpongeBob signs his name) Well, nice knowing you.

Employee #3: Ready in ten...

SpongeBob: This is it, Patrick.

Employee #3: Nine, eight...

SpongeBob: We made it!

Employee #3: Seven, six...

Patrick: We're not scaredy cats.

Employee #3: Five, four...

SpongeBob: We're not crybabies.

Employee #3: Three, two...

SpongeBob & Patrick: We're brave!

Employee #3: One... (when he presses the 'GO' button, SpongeBob and Patrick scream, but the roller coaster breaks down)
Man: (over speaker) Uh, we're experiencing some technical difficulties.

Employee #3: Man, this cheap thing is always breaking down. Hey, sorry guys. Maybe next time. (SpongeBob and Patrick sigh in relief)

SpongeBob: Patrick, I have a confession to make. I was really scared about going on this ride.
Patrick: Me too.

SpongeBob: I didn't know how to tell you because, well, I didn't want to disappoint you.

Patrick: I didn't want you to be disappointed in me.

SpongeBob: But now we don't have to face our fears. The ride is broken.

Patrick: Yeah! (employee comes back)

Employee #3: Oh, wait, it's fine.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Huh?
Employee #3: Have fun. (presses the 'GO' button again. SpongeBob and Patrick take off but their wrapping and helmets have come off)

SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't want to face my fears. I'm afraid of them! (when they get to the top, it stops for a moment) Good-bye, Patrick.

Patrick: Good-bye, SpongeBob. (Coaster starts again, dropping and going through a saw, a flaming fist, and a laser. When the coaster drops at a 90 degree angle, SpongeBob and Patrick's skeleton's fly through the air while their bodies go down with the coaster. Their skeleton's fly into them as they go up, out of the water, but when they sit up, they the other one's skeleton. The coaster drops into the ground, causing an explosion. When the ride is over, SpongeBob & Patrick are holding each other, shaking)

Woman: (over speaker) Please wait until the car has come to a complete stop. And stop crying.

Employee #3: It's over. You can get out now.

SpongeBob & Patrick: We did it! (both get out and run around in circles)

SpongeBob: We conquered our fears! We survived the Fist O' Pain.

Employee #3: Hey, hold it right there. (holds up SpongeBob and Patrick's spines) You forgot these.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Our spines! (grab their spines) Yeah! (when they grab them, they start to wiggle their bodies and then bend them backwards. They laugh)

SpongeBob: Let's go again!

Patrick: Yeah!Template:Slogan

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