Please note: Due to constant attempts by spambots to gain access to SpongePedia, account creation is currently disabled. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You are not logged in. Please log in to get the full benefit of SpongePedia.
For further questions go to SpongePedia:Contents !
Episode Transcript: Driven to Tears
| Line 5: | Line 5: | ||
|- | |- | ||
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Hocus Pocus|Hocus Pocus]] | |align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Hocus Pocus|Hocus Pocus]] | ||
| − | |[[Episode Transscript: Rule of | + | |[[Episode Transscript: Rule of Dumb|Rule of Dumb]] |
|} | |} | ||
Revision as of 18:36, 31 October 2007
| Back Episode Transscript | Next Episode Transscript |
|---|---|
| Hocus Pocus | Rule of Dumb |
Episode Article: Driven to Tears
Cractreres
Narrator: A very special day in Bikini Bottom
Spongebob: I'm ready! (walking up to Mrs Puff's Boating School with Patrick) I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring my flashcards?
Patrick: Right here, buddy. (takes them out of his pocket) Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. (eats the cards) Mmm.
Spongebob: No, Patrick!
Patrick: Hey, learning tastes good.
Spongebob: Patrick, I needed those.
Patrick: Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.
Spongebob: 57 times.
Patrick: Well, then 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, Spongebob, because you're a winner.
Spongebob: I'm a winner?
Patrick: Who's a winner?
Spongebob: I'm a winner.
Patrick: Who's a winner?
Spongebob: I'm a winner.
Patrick: Who's a winner?!
Spongebob: I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! (runs into the classroom)
Narrator: One minute thirty seven seconds later... (Spongebob walks up sobbing)
Patrick: How'd you do, winner? (sobbing continues) Let's see that license.
Spongebob: I didn't get a license, Patrick.
Patrick: Are they gonna mail it to you?
Spongebob: No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all.
Patrick: No way! 58 is like the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged.
Spongebob: Let's just go home, Patrick.
Patrick: We're not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this. I'm taking that test, myself.
Spongebob: (hanging onto Patrick's pants) No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive. (Patrick's pants rip off)
Patrick: Please, Spongebob. I think I know what I'm doing.
Spongebob: No, Patrick. No!
Mrs Puff: (Patrick walks up to the boat she is sitting in and gets in it, in his underwear) Good morning.
Patrick: You're not the judge of me.
Mrs Puff: Actually, I am. Let the testing begin! (clicks pen. Scene cuts to Spongebob, outside the boating school)
Spongebob: I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I?
Patrick: Spongebob! Spongebob!
Spongebob: I'm here for you, buddy.
Patrick: I passed my test!
Spongebob: You got a perfect score?
Patrick: Yeah, I thought you said it was hard.
Spongebob: Perfect score. (eye twitches)
Patrick: Come on, I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. (scene cuts to the license registartion building)
Lady: Stand behind the line, sir.
Patrick: (smiling) How do I look?
Spongebob: (sarcastically) Like a winner.
Lady: Ready?
Patrick: Ready. (banner comes down which says "CONGRATULATIONS" on it. Balloons and confetti fall)
Spongebob: Huh?
Fish: Congratulations, Mr Star. You're the one millionth person to pass the test.
Patrick: Does that mean I get a free key chain?
Fish: Uhh, no.
Patrick: Oh.
Fish: You get a brand-new boatmobile. The new Bass Blaster 3000. The ultimate boating machine.
Patrick: Yeah! All right!
Fish: Women will want you. (all sigh) Men will want to be you. (all sigh) You'll be the envy of your friends. (Spongebob groans)
Patrick: Isn't this great? I got my license and a new boat.
Spongebob:("La Cucaracha" horn blows in his face) Whoa!
Patrick: The horn works. (scene cuts to Patrick driving his new boat down the road) Whoo! This is the greatest day ever. Right, Spongebob?
Spongebob: Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license.
Patrick: Maybe if you apply yourself you could be the two milionth person to get his license.
Spongebob: Two millionth?
Patrick: Then you can get a free boat just like me.
Spongebob: Yeah, just like you.
Patrick: I try to serve as an inspiration to others.
Spongebob: Can we go home now? (zoom out and scene shows Patrick driving around his rock over and over) We've been driving around your house for hours.
Patrick: I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it?
Spongebob: Thanks for the ride, Patrick.
Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can't help being a...pedestrian. (shudders then drives off. Spongebob imitates Patrick. Scene cuts to Spongebob in bed asleep. His clock turns to 3:00am when an engine revving is heard which sends Spongebob into his diving board then back into his bed) Patrick, what are you doing?
Patrick: I'm trying to work on my boatmobile. Now could you keep it down? It's 3 in the morning, people are trying to sleep. (Spongebob groans and shuts his window then goes back to bed. Scene cuts to 4:00am)
Spongebob: 4 o'clock? (yawns. Doorbell rings) Who could be at the door at this hou-- (falls down the stairs. Opens the door) Now what is it, Patrick?
Patrick: You will never guess what happen to me today.
Spongebob: You got your license.
Patrick: Yeah! (shows his license) But that's not all.
Spongebob: You got a new boat.
Patrick: Yeah. Have you been following me? You know, you need to get your own life. (walks off)
Spongebob: (gets back into bed) Oh...I just need a few minutes sleep. (foghorn alarm blows)
Gary: Meow.
Spongebob: Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat. (scene cuts to morning where Spongebob is leaving home to go to work) I'm so tired. (horn honks)
Patrick: Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work?
Spongebob: Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work. (tries to take a step but falls down in the process. Scene cuts to Patrick driving Spongebob to the Krusty Krab)
Patrick: Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license.
Spongebob: Thanks for the ride.
Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license. I mean, if you get your license.
Spongebob: That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boatmobile...
Mr Krabs: Spongebob, you're manning the drive-thru.
Spongebob: When did we get a drive-thru?
Mr Krabs: I realized there's a lot of young people on the go these days. They don't have time to sit down and eat. They're too busy out on the open road living their dreams.
Spongebob: I used to have a dream.
Mr Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. Now stop dreaming and work for a living.
Spongebob: (through headphones) Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I -- ("La Cucaracha" horn honks)
Patrick: The horn still works. (scene cuts to Spongebob switching the OPEN sign to CLOSED then walking out of work. Patrick drives up in a racing uniform) Hey, Spongebob.
Spongebob: What's with the helmet, Patrick?
Patrick: Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image. (clicks tongue)
Spongebob: Uh-huh. (scene cuts to Patrick driving)
Patrick: Boy, driving is so easy.
Spongebob: Oh?
Patrick: Do you want me to give you lessons?
Spongebob: (sarcastic) Oh, that would be great.
Patrick: Oh! (drives over to Spongebob's parents)
Spongebob: Patrick!
Patrick: Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy.
Mr Squarepants: Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you we're Spongebob's mom and dad, not yours?
Patrick: What? I'm an orphan? Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test.
Mrs Squarepants: That's great, Patrick.
Patrick: Spongebob failed his test, so don't mention it.
Mrs Squarepants: Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield.
Spongebob: Mom!
Patrick: Well, I've got to take Mr Walks-a-lot back home. He's always asking for rides.
Spongebob: Hey. (Patrick drives off)
Mr Squarepants: Even Patrick has a license. (both parents sigh)
Patrick: Let's see what this baby can do. (steps on the gas. Ride pass a sign that reads 'SPEED LIMIT 40 MPH')
Spongebob: Patrick, the speed limit is 40mph.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah.
Spongebob: (reads the speedometer) 40.5mph? That's almost 41mph. He's speeding. Patrick! Stop this car. (car stops next to a policeman)
Patrick: What? Where? Who?
Spongebob: Officer, it is my civilian duty to report that the the driver of this vehicle is speeding. Why don't you clock him with your radar gun?
Officer: Umm...ok. (uses radar gun. It reads 0mph) Actually, he's going 40mph under the limit. So, move along before I run you in, tattletale. (drives off)
Spongebob: Are you sure you don't want to run him in? (scene cuts to Patrick driving. Green light turns red) It's a red light, Patrick! (Patrick runs through red lights) Patrick, you just ran three red lights.
Patrick: So?
Spongebob: You're suppose to stop.
Patrick: I think the driving genius knows what he's doing.
Spongebob: Driving genius? Would a genius make an illegal u-turn through an orphanage?
Patrick: They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about?
Spongebob: I should've gotten that license. And this should be my boatmobile.
Patrick: How can you say that? If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license.
Spongebob: If you were my friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my face.
Patrick: I'm not rubbing my license in your face. This) is rubbing my license in your face! (takes out license and rubs it in Spongebob's face)
Spongebob: Oh, give me that! I worked my whole life for this. You don't deserve this. (tears up Patrick's license then laughs. The pieces of the license fly into the officers hands)
Officer: Huh, litterbugs. This is why I joined the force. (drives off after Spongebob & Patrick)
Spongebob & Patrick: It's the police!
Officer: (over speaker) Pull it over, litterbug!
Patrick: Litterbug? No! (drives faster)
Officer: Oh, I got me a runner. (a bunch of police cars are following him)
Spongebob: Patrick, what do you think you're doing?
Patrick: I don't know! I don't have a license anymore. (drives around cards, through a sign then off a cliff into the front lot of the Bikini Bottom Jail. Scene cuts to courtroom)
Judge: 90 days. I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering.
Patrick: So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. Sometimes you forget to feed him.
Spongebob: What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison. He's too soft. Wait! (runs up to the judge) Patrick's innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead.
Judge: Well, considering there's no legal precedent...oh, what the heck. 90 days! (Spongebob is put in jail)
Narrator: One debt to society later... (door buzzes. Spongebob is let go out of jail where Patrick is waiting for him)
Spongebob: Patrick!
Patrick: Spongebob! (both hug)
Spongebob: I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. (shows him a license plate that reads "PALS 4 EVER") Let's put it on your boatmobile, buddy.
Patrick: Oh, I don't have a boatmobile anymore.
Spongebob: What?
Patrick: It stopped working so I threw it away. The needle was on E and I figured that must mean end.
Spongebob: Oh, then what do we do with this? (Patrick takes it and puts it on his behind)
Patrick: How's that?
Spongebob: Yeah!
Patrick: Ready, buddy?
Spongebob: Ready, pal. (hops on Patrick's shouldres and makes car noises) Whoo! Whoo!
