Squidward's House

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Squidward's House in the newer episodes

Squidward's House is an "Easter Island Head" (a Moai) as Squidward said in SB-129, it is between the houses of SpongeBob and Patrick, and like Bikini Bottom and the Krusty Krab, it seems to get destroyed often, but not as often as the Krusty Krab and Bikini Bottom themselves. The address is 122 Conch Street.

The Tiki House

The house resembles Squidward. In the book Bottoms Up!, a joke hinted that Squidward bought the house so he can get a head. In Plankton!, the house was one floor and this marked a cartoon goof because this is the only time that Squidward's house is low. In Christmas Who?, the Tiki House became Bikini Bottom's Christmas Present! In the episode Squidville, all of the houses in Tentacle Acres were Easter Island Heads. In Truth or Square, it was called a monument.

Inside the house, Squidward's house decor is distinctively egotistical; Squidward tends to depict his own face all over rugs, portraits, and busts throughout his house. As he has vanity in his own artworks, common examples of such decor are plastered all over his art gallery, with each artwork a varying style of self-portrait.

Rooms

Downstairs

• Living Room: This is Squidward entertains mainly himself, as well as any guests he has. It is colored blue and green, has a couch resembling a bench, a television, chocolates, a shell phone, a stereo system, and is connected to the mouth door. It is shown in Squid's Visit that Squidward keeps a vase, coasters, a pillow saying "With love- Mama", magazines, and a bowl on his coffee table. Most of the furniture is made from bamboo.
• Kitchen/Dining Room: This is where Squiward prepares his meals and eats. It has been seen in six episodes so far: Naughty Nautical Neighbors, Nature Pants, Opposite Day, No Nose Knows, Growth Spout and Man Ray Returns. Squidward's kitchen is where his telephone is sometimes. As with many of Bikini Bottom's houses, it also has a dining room. The kitchen consists of a bamboo fridge, bamboo cabinets, a counter, a bamboo table for eating with two chairs, one to seat Squidward and another for any guests, and a breakfast bar.
• Garden Room: Squidward keeps a lot of plants and garden utensils in this room. It can be seen in The Curse of Bikini Bottom.

Upstairs

• Bathroom: Squidward goes to the bathroom, brushes his teeth, bathes and pampers himself here. It has a toilet, a powder puff, a record player, toilet paper held on a wall-mounted toilet paper holder, a little bathtub with a shower and a sink. Squidward normally has a "pink" bath soap. In the episode Squid's Day Off, this is where he spent his "day off" before SpongeBob found him. The toilet paper and the toilet itself can speak.
• Bedroom: This is where Squidward sleeps. It has a bed with a blanket. Squidward sleeps with purple or pink pajamas that have four slippers. It also has many mirrors (as seen in Night Light) and an alarm cabinet with 58 alarm clocks inside (as seen in Employee of the Month). The bedroom is behind the bathroom. In some episodes, Squidward has a TV in his bedroom. He has a roof over his bed that he sleeps, and square shaped lamps on his nightstand. His clarinet, which he affectionately calls "Clarry," sleeps next to him.
• Gallery: This is where Squidward makes good portraits of himself and plays his clarinet very bad. It has red walls and is filled with many self-portraits of Squidward. In "Opposite Day," SpongeBob calls it "The worst room in the house.", although he thought that it was opposite day, so he really thinks it is the best room in the house.
• Back Room: Seen only in Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost. It is almost completely empty, only having wallpaper that makes the room look like a mess. Squidward sends SpongeBob and Patrick to clean it, thinking they won't figure out how to clean it, but they just rip the wallpaper off.
• Study: Seen only in Squid Wood. All the books Squidward reads are stored here. The study has lots of books, a chair, and a light behind the chair.

Destroyed Instances/Losses

Compared to the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob's House and Bikini Bottom, Squidward's house gets destroyed often, but not too often.

• Bubblestand: Squidward made a big bubble which the Eastern Island Head gets inside of.
• Plankton!: SpongeBob is brainwashed by Plankton's Plan A and SpongeBob uses his hands to destroy some of the house's walls.
• Naughty Nautical Neighbors: When Squidward's house fills with the bubbles from SpongeBob and Patrick, it explodes of carbon dioxide.
• Sandy's Rocket: SpongeBob and Patrick mistake Squidward for an alien, and destroyed the house by shaking it in an alien-hunting rampage destroying the inside of the house.
• I Was a Teenage Gary: SpongeSnail made Squidward run on the ceiling and Squidward keeps making the house shake, destroying everything inside the house and resulting in him getting his nose pinned into the Snail Plasma. The house had been shaken over and drops to its left next to SpongeBob's House, crushing all the furniture and objects.
• The Paper: When Squidward tries to have SpongeBob break his promise, he trades all of his house for the paper. His house becomes only a circular shape for the foundation.
• Squidville: SpongeBob and Patrick use their Reef Blowers to grab pieces of his house, then shoot it back out to blow the house up.
• Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm: It was crushed by the worm as well as the rest of Bikini Bottom. It may have been eaten by the worm earlier in the episode as well.
• Can You Spare a Dime?: Squidward loses his house because he can't afford to pay the house's needs after quitting his job.
• Skill Crane: It wasn't destroyed but he gives the deed to his house to Mr. Krabs.
• Rule of Dumb: Patrick, as king, uses the Bikini Bottom Construction to throw away and wipe out Squidward's house to make room for a Ferris wheel for his own home on his front yard.
• House Fancy: Squidward was in such a hurry to make his house look good. SpongeBob tries to help, but he makes the vacuum cleaner suck everything, destroying and remodeling the house.
• Giant Squidward: The angry and vicious citizens of Bikini Bottom turn the house into a bait to catch Squidward.
• Squid's Visit: The house catches fire while Squidward was at SpongeBob's house; he had left his casserole in the oven.
• The Monster Who Came to Bikini Bottom: The house is destroyed by the monster.
• Sponge-Cano!: The house blocks Mt. Bikini Bottom.
• That Sinking Feeling: The house sinks underground along with the rest of Bikini Bottom.
• Big Sister Sam: Patrick's sister Sam removes parts of his house and later spits the pieces back to the house, collapsing the remaining parts.
• A Friendly Game: It is destroyed when SpongeBob and Patrick were looking for their golf balls and making shots where they left it.
• Mermaid Man Begins: It is taken away by the storm.
• Are You Happy Now?: The downstairs is left a mess with Squidward being depressed.
• Little Yellow Book: It is taken away when Squidward reads SpongeBob's diary, which violated the terms of his loan.

A Life of Its Own?

In some episodes it is shown that Squidward's house may have a life of its own:

• The Secret Box, where Patrick says "Not even...Squidward's house." and his house leans down to hear.
• Good Neighbors, where the house becomes controlled by the Security System 5000 (which comes with free installation). The only threat of the Security System 5000 was Squidward Tentacles, and the house became controlled (similar to the Godzilla films where monsters are controlled by machines), and destroyed Bikini Bottom. It was shut down by the Off Button.
• Funny Pants, where the Tiki Eastern Island Head makes an "ANGRY!" face and has some hands to cover its ears because of SpongeBob's crying.
• Growth Spout, where the house says after Mr. Krabs stole Squidward's food, "Oh well, I needed to lose some weight anyway."
• A Friendly Game, where the house does the same thing as in "Funny Pants" except it had sand hands and did not make an angry face.
• There's a Sponge in My Soup, where the house screams "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! Hippies!" at the end of the episode.

Residences