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Episode Transcript: The Thing
| Line 17: | Line 17: | ||
*[[Thing]] | *[[Thing]] | ||
| − | (Squidward peeks out his door to make sure | + | (Squidward peeks out his door to make sure SpongeBob is not around)<br> |
| − | Squidward: It's too quiet. Something isn't right around here.<br> (crawls around to | + | Squidward: It's too quiet. Something isn't right around here.<br> (crawls around to SpongeBob’s downstairs window. Peeks in |
| − | but sees | + | but sees SpongeBob is not there) Could it be? SpongeBob is gone for the evening. (cut to Squidward in his house in a robe) |
| − | Here's to a delightful evening alone with you, public television. (slurps his drink while watching a squid on | + | Here's to a delightful evening alone with you, public television. (slurps his drink while watching a squid on TV about to |
| − | play his clarinet. When he does, | + | play his clarinet. When he does, SpongeBob’s laughter is heard instead of a clarinet sound. SpongeBob and Patrick are |
outside playing)<br> | outside playing)<br> | ||
Patrick: Do it again. Do it again.<br> | Patrick: Do it again. Do it again.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Ok. (puts two handfuls of sand in his mouth then squirts it out of his head like play dough hair)<br> | |
Squidward: Will you two be quiet! I'm trying to watch public television. (closes window)<br> | Squidward: Will you two be quiet! I'm trying to watch public television. (closes window)<br> | ||
| Line 37: | Line 37: | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Squidward! (Squidward slams door in their faces. Patrick sighs)<br> | |
Squidward: You're still there, aren't you? (opens door)<br> | Squidward: You're still there, aren't you? (opens door)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Good evening, Squidward.<br> | |
Squidward: Not so fast. You two little monsters aren't about to ruin my evening.<br> | Squidward: Not so fast. You two little monsters aren't about to ruin my evening.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh, we're not here to ruin it. We're here to enhance it.<br> | |
Squidward: Isn't that right, Pat?<br> | Squidward: Isn't that right, Pat?<br> | ||
| Line 51: | Line 51: | ||
Patrick: Yeah. We're here... (Squidward slams door)<br> | Patrick: Yeah. We're here... (Squidward slams door)<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: Can't a hard working Squid get a little tv time alone? (sits on his couch then notices | + | Squidward: Can't a hard working Squid get a little tv time alone? (sits on his couch then notices SpongeBob and Patrick) |
| − | + | SpongeBob? Patrick? Oh, what's the point? (SpongeBob and Patrick slurp their drink while watching the Squid with the | |
clarinet on tv)<br> | clarinet on tv)<br> | ||
Patrick: Could you turn it up?<br> | Patrick: Could you turn it up?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Uh, Squidward, could you turn it down a little?<br> | |
Patrick: Squidward, what's this about?<br> | Patrick: Squidward, what's this about?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Squidward, how come he's so emotional?<br> | |
Patrick: Is he the bad guy?<br> | Patrick: Is he the bad guy?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Squidward?<br> | |
Patrick: Squidward?<br> | Patrick: Squidward?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Squidward?<br> | |
Patrick: Squidward?<br> | Patrick: Squidward?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Squidward?<br> | |
Patrick: Squidward?<br> | Patrick: Squidward?<br> | ||
| Line 87: | Line 87: | ||
(cement unloads on top of Squidward. Squidward tries to get unstuck and is launched through coral field, a sewer pipe, and | (cement unloads on top of Squidward. Squidward tries to get unstuck and is launched through coral field, a sewer pipe, and | ||
into a colorful group of jellyfish, who sting him. He falls over and screams out a bubble) Day five, I think. I've been | into a colorful group of jellyfish, who sting him. He falls over and screams out a bubble) Day five, I think. I've been | ||
| − | waddling these fields. I'm hungry, tired, and lost. The only good thing about this is no | + | waddling these fields. I'm hungry, tired, and lost. The only good thing about this is no SpongeBob. (reads sign) Jellyfish |
Fields. (sighs)<br> | Fields. (sighs)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: What is that thing, Patrick? | |
| − | Patrick: I dunno. Let's get a closer look. (both run up to the thing as it's trying to | + | Patrick: I dunno. Let's get a closer look. (both run up to the thing as it's trying to escape)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Hi, stranger. I am SpongeBob. (sniffs in the odor coming from Squidward then flushes the tears away. Squidward | |
| − | growls muffling causing | + | growls muffling causing SpongeBob and Patrick to scream) Wait a minute. Maybe he's not a monster. Maybe he's an endangered |
species. We should help him.<br> | species. We should help him.<br> | ||
Patrick: Yeah, help him. Go away. Can't you tell nobody wants you? You're endangered.<br> | Patrick: Yeah, help him. Go away. Can't you tell nobody wants you? You're endangered.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Not like that. With lots of love and affection. We can take care of him. (muffled shouting coming from | |
| − | Squidward. Cut to | + | Squidward. Cut to SpongeBob’s house) Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. |
We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. (muffled whimpering from Smelly) Here's | We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. (muffled whimpering from Smelly) Here's | ||
your food bowl.<br> | your food bowl.<br> | ||
| Line 107: | Line 107: | ||
Patrick: And some kibble. (pours in some food)<br> | Patrick: And some kibble. (pours in some food)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: You can live here forever and ever. (Smelly cries) Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, | |
there's one more family member you haven't met. (retrieves Gary) Smelly meet Gary. (Gary sticks to Smelly) Aww, look at | there's one more family member you haven't met. (retrieves Gary) Smelly meet Gary. (Gary sticks to Smelly) Aww, look at | ||
that Smelly, Gary likes you. (Gary attacks Smelly) Gary, no! (gets Gary off of Smelly) Gary.<br> | that Smelly, Gary likes you. (Gary attacks Smelly) Gary, no! (gets Gary off of Smelly) Gary.<br> | ||
| Line 113: | Line 113: | ||
Patrick: I don't think Gary likes Smelly.<br> | Patrick: I don't think Gary likes Smelly.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.<br> | |
Patrick: Ah! He can come home with me.<br> | Patrick: Ah! He can come home with me.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. (Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps | |
falling down) Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. (opens door) Bye, Smelly, have fun at | falling down) Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. (opens door) Bye, Smelly, have fun at | ||
Patrick's. (Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house)<br> | Patrick's. (Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house)<br> | ||
| Line 129: | Line 129: | ||
Police: Freeze! (more police cars arrive)<br> | Police: Freeze! (more police cars arrive)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (reading in his library) Hmmm, what's all the commotion? (looks outside the window)<br> | |
Police: You're surrounded. There is no way out.<br> | Police: You're surrounded. There is no way out.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Smelly. (tries walking through a crowd of policeman) Excuse me. Pardon me. If I can just scootch through there. | |
Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. You leave Smelly alone. He's just a poor, dumb wild animal.<br> | Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. You leave Smelly alone. He's just a poor, dumb wild animal.<br> | ||
| Line 139: | Line 139: | ||
marked 'ZOO' with a vicious, giant clam)<br> | marked 'ZOO' with a vicious, giant clam)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Smelly. (cut to the zoo where people are around the habitat of Smelly. Smelly is locked behind a cage | |
marked 'Species Unknown')<br> | marked 'Species Unknown')<br> | ||
| Line 146: | Line 146: | ||
Mom: I don't know but it's hideous, isn't it? (everyone laughs. Smelly goes back inside his cage)<br> | Mom: I don't know but it's hideous, isn't it? (everyone laughs. Smelly goes back inside his cage)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: This isn't good.<br> | |
Patrick: You're absolutely right. (takes out a hotdog) It needs mustard.<br> | Patrick: You're absolutely right. (takes out a hotdog) It needs mustard.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: No one should be treated like that. Not even someone as ugly as Smelly. Something needs to be done about this. | |
| − | And I know exactly what that thing is. (whispers to Patrick. Cut to night where Patrick and | + | And I know exactly what that thing is. (whispers to Patrick. Cut to night where Patrick and SpongeBob are wearing black ski |
masks) Ok, Patrick, remember the plan?<br> | masks) Ok, Patrick, remember the plan?<br> | ||
Patrick: Oh, yeah. (takes out a hotdog) This one, right?<br> | Patrick: Oh, yeah. (takes out a hotdog) This one, right?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (grabs hotdog) No, not that. I'm talking about the plan to break Smelly out of this animal prison.<br> | |
Patrick: (takes a bite out of the hotdog) Mmm, good plan.<br> | Patrick: (takes a bite out of the hotdog) Mmm, good plan.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (ties rope to rail) All right, I'll go down first. Keep a lookout and follow me. (climbs down the rope)<br> | |
| − | Patrick: You're my hero. (gets tangled in the rope) | + | Patrick: You're my hero. (gets tangled in the rope) SpongeBob! Help! Ah! (screams and makes lots of noise)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Shh, we'll get caught.<br> | |
| − | Patrick: What? I can't hear you. I'm screaming too loud. ( | + | Patrick: What? I can't hear you. I'm screaming too loud. (SpongeBob pulls the rope which causes Patrick to fall straight to |
the ground which, in turn, wakes up Smelly)<br> | the ground which, in turn, wakes up Smelly)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (tip-toes over to Smelly's cage) Fear no longer, dear Smelly, we are here to rescue you. Understand? We are | |
taking you home. (draws a home with his fingers. Smelly grunts) Look how excited he is. Flip the switch, Patrick. (he does | taking you home. (draws a home with his fingers. Smelly grunts) Look how excited he is. Flip the switch, Patrick. (he does | ||
so. Cage door opens and they carry him out) Smelly, you're free. (lights are shining on them)<br> | so. Cage door opens and they carry him out) Smelly, you're free. (lights are shining on them)<br> | ||
| Line 173: | Line 173: | ||
Police: You're surrounded. There's no use trying to run. | Police: You're surrounded. There's no use trying to run. | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Run, Patrick, run! (as they do, the police climb down into the habitat and chase them) Faster, Patrick. (notices | |
a sewer hatch and opens it)<br> | a sewer hatch and opens it)<br> | ||
Patrick: I'll let Smelly go first. (throws Smelly down the sewer. Smelly bounces around before hitting the ground)<br> | Patrick: I'll let Smelly go first. (throws Smelly down the sewer. Smelly bounces around before hitting the ground)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Don't worry, Smelly, you're safe with us. (Patrick closes the sewer hatch as police run by it)<br> | |
Patrick: I think we lost them.<br> | Patrick: I think we lost them.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Well, we're all one big happy family again. Let's see where this dark sewer tunnel leads.<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob & Patrick: La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la. (Smelly sobs)<br> | |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh, it's all right, Smelly. Soon, we'll be home and you can sleep in that cozy little pet carrier you love so | |
much. (muffled screaming and sobbing from Smelly)<br> | much. (muffled screaming and sobbing from Smelly)<br> | ||
Patrick: Hey, I see light.<br> | Patrick: Hey, I see light.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick. That must be the way out. Whoa... where are we? (a group of creatures are gathered around | |
in the distance) Let's go ask those guys. Um, excuse us. (creatures turn around to reveal they look like Smelly) Hey, they | in the distance) Let's go ask those guys. Um, excuse us. (creatures turn around to reveal they look like Smelly) Hey, they | ||
look just like you. Go, be with your real family. Go ahead, Smelly. I know you've come to think of us as a family, but it's | look just like you. Go, be with your real family. Go ahead, Smelly. I know you've come to think of us as a family, but it's | ||
better this way. (push Smelly on the ground as the group of creatures take him away) | better this way. (push Smelly on the ground as the group of creatures take him away) | ||
| − | Patrick: (sniffs) I'm going to miss him, | + | Patrick: (sniffs) I'm going to miss him, SpongeBob. Me, too, buddy. Me, too, but he's with his kind now, where he belongs, and on that note, let us go back to where we belong. (group of gray creatures put Smelly down to where the Squid on TV from earlier is playing jazz)<br> |
Kelpy G: Ah... salutation, my children. Are you ready for your daily dose of smooth jazz? (excited murmuring from the creature. Jazzy Squid plays. As he is playing Smelly's exterior breaks and reveals Squidward underneath)<br> | Kelpy G: Ah... salutation, my children. Are you ready for your daily dose of smooth jazz? (excited murmuring from the creature. Jazzy Squid plays. As he is playing Smelly's exterior breaks and reveals Squidward underneath)<br> | ||
Revision as of 10:31, 16 April 2008
| Back Episode Transcript | Next Episode Transcript |
|---|---|
| That's No Lady | Hocus Pocus |
Episode Article: The Thing
Characters
(Squidward peeks out his door to make sure SpongeBob is not around)
Squidward: It's too quiet. Something isn't right around here.
(crawls around to SpongeBob’s downstairs window. Peeks in
but sees SpongeBob is not there) Could it be? SpongeBob is gone for the evening. (cut to Squidward in his house in a robe)
Here's to a delightful evening alone with you, public television. (slurps his drink while watching a squid on TV about to
play his clarinet. When he does, SpongeBob’s laughter is heard instead of a clarinet sound. SpongeBob and Patrick are
outside playing)
Patrick: Do it again. Do it again.
SpongeBob: Ok. (puts two handfuls of sand in his mouth then squirts it out of his head like play dough hair)
Squidward: Will you two be quiet! I'm trying to watch public television. (closes window)
Patrick: Do it again, do it again.
Squidward: If those two want to ruin my quiet evening at home, they're going to have to do better than that. (watches more
of the squid with the clarinet. Pounding on the door causes the music to stop. Squidward gets up and answers the door) What?
SpongeBob: Squidward! (Squidward slams door in their faces. Patrick sighs)
Squidward: You're still there, aren't you? (opens door)
SpongeBob: Good evening, Squidward.
Squidward: Not so fast. You two little monsters aren't about to ruin my evening.
SpongeBob: Oh, we're not here to ruin it. We're here to enhance it.
Squidward: Isn't that right, Pat?
Patrick: Yeah. We're here... (Squidward slams door)
Squidward: Can't a hard working Squid get a little tv time alone? (sits on his couch then notices SpongeBob and Patrick)
SpongeBob? Patrick? Oh, what's the point? (SpongeBob and Patrick slurp their drink while watching the Squid with the
clarinet on tv)
Patrick: Could you turn it up?
SpongeBob: Uh, Squidward, could you turn it down a little?
Patrick: Squidward, what's this about?
SpongeBob: Squidward, how come he's so emotional?
Patrick: Is he the bad guy?
SpongeBob: Squidward?
Patrick: Squidward?
SpongeBob: Squidward?
Patrick: Squidward?
SpongeBob: Squidward?
Patrick: Squidward?
Squidward: (screams) That's it! All I wanted to do was watch some smooth jazz on public television. But apparently, that's
not going to happen. Once again I'm going to have to leave my own home just to get some peace and quiet. Enjoy my tv.
(grunts)
Patrick: Oh wait, I think I've seen this before. This part's funny.
Squidward: I'm going to go somewhere far away. Somewhere far away from those two watching public television on my tv. Pah!
They wouldn't know real culture even if it hit them like a truck full of cement. (rides into a truck full of cement) Oh.
(cement unloads on top of Squidward. Squidward tries to get unstuck and is launched through coral field, a sewer pipe, and
into a colorful group of jellyfish, who sting him. He falls over and screams out a bubble) Day five, I think. I've been
waddling these fields. I'm hungry, tired, and lost. The only good thing about this is no SpongeBob. (reads sign) Jellyfish
Fields. (sighs)
SpongeBob: What is that thing, Patrick?
Patrick: I dunno. Let's get a closer look. (both run up to the thing as it's trying to escape)
SpongeBob: Hi, stranger. I am SpongeBob. (sniffs in the odor coming from Squidward then flushes the tears away. Squidward
growls muffling causing SpongeBob and Patrick to scream) Wait a minute. Maybe he's not a monster. Maybe he's an endangered
species. We should help him.
Patrick: Yeah, help him. Go away. Can't you tell nobody wants you? You're endangered.
SpongeBob: Not like that. With lots of love and affection. We can take care of him. (muffled shouting coming from
Squidward. Cut to SpongeBob’s house) Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great.
We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. (muffled whimpering from Smelly) Here's
your food bowl.
Patrick: And some kibble. (pours in some food)
SpongeBob: You can live here forever and ever. (Smelly cries) Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly,
there's one more family member you haven't met. (retrieves Gary) Smelly meet Gary. (Gary sticks to Smelly) Aww, look at
that Smelly, Gary likes you. (Gary attacks Smelly) Gary, no! (gets Gary off of Smelly) Gary.
Patrick: I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
SpongeBob: Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
Patrick: Ah! He can come home with me.
SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. (Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps
falling down) Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. (opens door) Bye, Smelly, have fun at
Patrick's. (Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house)
Patrick: No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets. (cut to under Patrick's rock) Hey, Smelly, wanna play catch? (throws
ball at Smelly) Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it. (throws ball at Smelly again) Almost. (throws ball at Smelly again) Again. (throws ball at Smelly again) So close. (throws ball at Smelly again but it gets stuck in his eye) Yeah, now
you're... (Smelly throws the ball at Patrick, knocking him down) Smelly! (screams and jumps behind a chair and calls
someone) Hello, Animal Control? There's a wild animal loose in my house. (person over phone is speaking gibberish) Sure,
I'll hold. (Smelly escapes Patrick's rock) Smelly! Come back. Smelly!
Police: Freeze! (more police cars arrive)
SpongeBob: (reading in his library) Hmmm, what's all the commotion? (looks outside the window)
Police: You're surrounded. There is no way out.
SpongeBob: Smelly. (tries walking through a crowd of policeman) Excuse me. Pardon me. If I can just scootch through there.
Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. You leave Smelly alone. He's just a poor, dumb wild animal.
Police: Wild animals don't belong here, son. They belong in the zoo. Get 'em boys. (Smelly is taken away in a truck
marked 'ZOO' with a vicious, giant clam)
SpongeBob: Smelly. (cut to the zoo where people are around the habitat of Smelly. Smelly is locked behind a cage
marked 'Species Unknown')
Little Girl: Mommy, what is that thing?
Mom: I don't know but it's hideous, isn't it? (everyone laughs. Smelly goes back inside his cage)
SpongeBob: This isn't good.
Patrick: You're absolutely right. (takes out a hotdog) It needs mustard.
SpongeBob: No one should be treated like that. Not even someone as ugly as Smelly. Something needs to be done about this.
And I know exactly what that thing is. (whispers to Patrick. Cut to night where Patrick and SpongeBob are wearing black ski
masks) Ok, Patrick, remember the plan?
Patrick: Oh, yeah. (takes out a hotdog) This one, right?
SpongeBob: (grabs hotdog) No, not that. I'm talking about the plan to break Smelly out of this animal prison.
Patrick: (takes a bite out of the hotdog) Mmm, good plan.
SpongeBob: (ties rope to rail) All right, I'll go down first. Keep a lookout and follow me. (climbs down the rope)
Patrick: You're my hero. (gets tangled in the rope) SpongeBob! Help! Ah! (screams and makes lots of noise)
SpongeBob: Shh, we'll get caught.
Patrick: What? I can't hear you. I'm screaming too loud. (SpongeBob pulls the rope which causes Patrick to fall straight to
the ground which, in turn, wakes up Smelly)
SpongeBob: (tip-toes over to Smelly's cage) Fear no longer, dear Smelly, we are here to rescue you. Understand? We are
taking you home. (draws a home with his fingers. Smelly grunts) Look how excited he is. Flip the switch, Patrick. (he does
so. Cage door opens and they carry him out) Smelly, you're free. (lights are shining on them)
Police: You're surrounded. There's no use trying to run.
SpongeBob: Run, Patrick, run! (as they do, the police climb down into the habitat and chase them) Faster, Patrick. (notices
a sewer hatch and opens it)
Patrick: I'll let Smelly go first. (throws Smelly down the sewer. Smelly bounces around before hitting the ground)
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Smelly, you're safe with us. (Patrick closes the sewer hatch as police run by it)
Patrick: I think we lost them.
SpongeBob: Well, we're all one big happy family again. Let's see where this dark sewer tunnel leads.
SpongeBob & Patrick: La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la. (Smelly sobs)
SpongeBob: Oh, it's all right, Smelly. Soon, we'll be home and you can sleep in that cozy little pet carrier you love so
much. (muffled screaming and sobbing from Smelly)
Patrick: Hey, I see light.
SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick. That must be the way out. Whoa... where are we? (a group of creatures are gathered around in the distance) Let's go ask those guys. Um, excuse us. (creatures turn around to reveal they look like Smelly) Hey, they look just like you. Go, be with your real family. Go ahead, Smelly. I know you've come to think of us as a family, but it's better this way. (push Smelly on the ground as the group of creatures take him away)
Patrick: (sniffs) I'm going to miss him, SpongeBob. Me, too, buddy. Me, too, but he's with his kind now, where he belongs, and on that note, let us go back to where we belong. (group of gray creatures put Smelly down to where the Squid on TV from earlier is playing jazz)
Kelpy G: Ah... salutation, my children. Are you ready for your daily dose of smooth jazz? (excited murmuring from the creature. Jazzy Squid plays. As he is playing Smelly's exterior breaks and reveals Squidward underneath)
Squidward: (chuckles nervously) Um... hi.Template:Slogan
