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| − | {{Unfinished Transcript}}
| + | == Transcript == |
| | + | *Squidward: Spongebob what is that horrible racket coming back from here? |
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| | + | *SpongeBob: Just a little grill-side harmony. Everyone knows that cooking and music go together like eating and listening. |
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| − | {{Transcript|Sweet and Sour Squid|Oral Report|The Googly Artiste}}
| + | *Squidward: You wouldn't know what real music is if it came up and hit you in the face. |
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| − | ==Characters==
| + | *SpongeBob: Hey that happened to Patrick once. He must've been listening to hard rock. He had a lump on his head- |
| − | *[[SpongeBob SquarePants]] | + | |
| − | *[[Squidward Tentacles]]
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| − | *[[Sheldon J. Plankton]]
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| − | *[[Eugene H. Krabs]]
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| − | *[[Karen Plankton]]
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| − | ==Dialogue==
| + | *Squidward: I don't care! If you want to hear what real music sound like then listen to this. Hey give it back. I was just reaching my coda. |
| − | (episode starts at the Krusty Krab)
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| − | '''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, what is that horrible racket coming back from here?
| + | *Mr. Krabs: Yeah well your coda is affecting me quota. The shrill piercing racket of your fish flute is frighting away me money. |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Just a little grill-side harmony. Everyone knows that cooking and music go together like eating and listening.
| + | *Squidward: Fish flute? |
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| − | '''Squidward:''' You wouldn't know what real music is if it came up and hit you in the face.
| + | *Mr. Krabs: Well I don't know. That's what they used to call it back in the- |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Hey, that happened to Patrick once. He must've been listening to hard rock. He had a lump on his head-
| + | *Squidward: None of you simpletons would recognize what real musical talent if it came up and kicked you in the face! |
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| − | '''Squidward:''' I don't care! If you want to hear what real music sounds like, then listen to this. (clarinet is missing) Hey, give it back. I was just reaching my coda.
| + | *SpongeBob: Hey that happened to Patrick once too! He- |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, well, your coda is affecting me quota. The shrill piercing racket of your fish flute is frighting away me money.
| + | *Squidward: None of you know a great musician can hear him! Not a single one of you! Not even even- oh there's nobody there. |
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Fish flute?
| + | *Plankton: He's still doing it Karen. He's- Karen? |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, I don't know. That's what they used to call it back in the-
| + | *Karen: Who's doing what now? |
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| − | '''Squidward:''' None of you simpletons would recognize what real musical talent if it came up and kicked you in the face!
| + | *Plankton: The skinny one. He's been ranting and raving in front of the krusty krab for the past half-hour waving his arms and jumping around like an animal. Oh he stopped now. He's just broken down on the ground crying. Karen. Karen for the first time it's hit me! |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Hey that happened to Patrick once too! He-
| + | *Karen: What the door on your way out? |
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| − | '''Squidward:''' None of you know a great musician can hear him! Not a single one of you! Not even- Oh, there's nobody there.
| + | *Plankton: No computer-brain. The skinny one may have been the gateway to the secret formula all along. As a veteran employee he must know the secret formula too. |
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| − | '''Plankton:''' He's still doing it, Karen. He's- Karen?
| + | *Karen: I warn you against it. |
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| − | '''Karen:''' Who's doing what now? (Squidward is ranting and raving outside the Krusty Krab)
| + | *Plankton: Too late! |
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| − | '''Plankton:''' The skinny one. He's been ranting and raving in front of the Krusty Krab for the past half-hour waving his arms and jumping around like an animal. (Squidward begins crying) Oh, he stopped now. He's just broken down on the ground crying. Karen. Karen, for the first time, it's hit me!
| + | *Squidward: Who said that? |
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| − | '''Karen:''' What, the door on your way out?
| + | *Plankton: Down here! I am just an innocent passerby who felt the need to stop and tell you what a magnificent garden you have. |
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| − | '''Plankton:''' No computer-brain. The skinny one may have been the gateway to the secret formula all along. As a veteran employee, he must know the secret formula too.
| + | *Squidward: Oh really? |
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| − | '''Karen:''' I warn you against it.
| + | *Plankton: Yes. |
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Too late!
| + | *Squidward: Well let me tell you something mister. I know exactly who you are and why you're here. |
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Who said that?
| + | *Plankton: You do? |
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Down here! I am just an innocent passerby who felt the need to stop and tell you what a magnificent garden you have.
| + | *Squidward: You will not tell me to eat at the chum bucket no matter how big the discount is. |
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Oh, really?
| + | *Plankton: Well that's not exactly why I- |
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Yes.
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Well, let me tell you something, mister. I know exactly who you are and why you're here.
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| − | '''Plankton:''' You do?
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| − | '''Squidward:''' You will not tell me to eat at the Chum Bucket, no matter how big the discount is.
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Well, that's not exactly why I-
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Shameless. You again?
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| − | '''Plankton:''' I hope you don't mind me painting on your property, but the light here is simply transcendent this time of day.
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Why, yes it is, isn't it?
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Yes, it- not buying that one either, huh?
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Nope.
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Hey buddy! (Squidward slams door) Squidward! (door is slammed again. This repeats) Free cleaning service? Census taker. (as a girl scout) Good day, kind sir. Would you like to buy some gil scout cookies? (door is slammed) Ow! (at the Chum Bucket, Plankton is duct taping surgical tubing to himself)
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| − | '''Karen:''' Plankton, what are you doing?
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| − | '''Plankton:''' There's nothing a little duct tape and surgical tubing can't accomplish. (tube hits him) Ow! I knew I should've use pipe cleaners. (at Squidward's house) Hello, I'm your long-lost relative. Can I have the secret formula? (Squidward slams door) Well, that's a fine way to treat a family member.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Hi, Plankton. Nice dress.
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Out of my way, spongebrain.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' I overheard you and Squidward playing doorslam, and I wanted to see if I could get in to the next round. (Plankton cries) Don't cry, Plankton. Doorslam is easy to play. Hard to master.
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| − | '''Plankton:''' None of my tactics are making any impression on him whatsoever.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Well, let's see. If you really want to impress Squidward, try talking to him about music.
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Music?
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, especially his favorite kind of music his own.
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Oh, is that right?
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Not again.
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Wait, don't irrigate me. I've come to hear your music. It soothes the place my soul would occupy if I had one.
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Are you sure you got the right squid?
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| − | '''Plankton:''' I've never been sure of anything, but I am sure of this: Play for me. Fill my ear sockets with the strains of your sweet sweet magic.
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Finally, someone actually appreciates my brilliance. I will play for you, my tiny cyclops. I will play such that Neptune himself will hear me upon his very throne or whatever chair he's sitting on.
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| − | '''Plankton:''' Uh-oh. I mean, goodie.
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